andromath-old2

[andromath-old2]

There is nothing I value more than branding and 💩 💩 💩  is my brand!

I rise from the ashes of old hallow's eve; to ask a question, a pet peeve: Do you think Five's time travel makes him constipated? 💩 💩 💩

firstly, i gave this approximately 2 seconds of thought and i have decided: no, five’s time travel probably doesn’t make him constipated

secondly, and more importantly, why do all your asks to me ALWAYS involve shit

[andromath-old2]

The Prophecy of Seven

Briefly came out of my writer’s block to do a quick little Percabeth fic.

You can find the fic “Prophecy of Seven” on AO3

I also drew art for it since I was bored from the Quarantine! The Goddess crying.

[andromath-old2]

The universe sent me back to punish you for not properly appreciating 2019.

For 2020 is the year of the 💩 💩 💩 .

So I'm just sitting here re-reading the best MCU series on Ao3 Hydra's Not a Home and a question pooped into my head. When Dr. Parker was experimenting on Peter did he need to take stool samples for analysis? 😂😂💩 💩 💩😂😂

I’ve lived a year without a single shit-related ask in my inbox and I shouldve appreciated it more than I did

[andromath-old2]

Peter would force Tony to wear a t-shirt with Harley’s face after failing the Steak Challenge. Probably with a Blazer on top with a campy fabric printed with little pictures of steak and mashed potatoes.

Probably make him wear it to some fancy Gala like the MET ball so that its all over tabloids everywhere the next day, to Harley’s dread and embarrassment.

I'm back, back, back again after an extended disappearance where I was contemplating Avengers 💩💩💩 and working on a super secret fic which is honestly being written at a snail's pace. But inspiration struck for a Wayward Sons idea: Peter and Harley take control of SI's merchandising Department that creates and licenses all the Avengers merchandise. Chaos erupts in the inevitable memery, insults inside jokes, and "language!" t-shirts.

u know i had forgotten about the poop? i had forgotten about it entirely.

harley would make a one of a kind i went noodlin’ and all i got was this lousy t-shirt t-shirt and gift it to peter for his birthday

[andromath-old2]

Sorry I disappeared on you all

Real life has been crazy busy and will continue to be as I finish my last semester. I totally bit off more than I can chew and have 0 free time until at least mid-March.

Anyway, one reason I haven’t posted in awhile is because I’m working on my first multi-chapter fic! Its going to be mostly a canon-divergence, with Peter’s parents being shield agents during the events of Avengers 1.

I do got an idea stuck in my head so maybe a small AU tonight about an AI Peter

[andromath-old2]

Do it! You could totally write a bangin’ time travel fic with the right theme!

Would you ever write a time travelling fic for Tony/Peter?

oh my GOD ok so when is started writing fic, i tried writing time travel. then half way along, i had this brilliant (aka adequate) idea for a time travel fic. and both times they totally flopped and they’re plan bad. like i genuinely just wanted to see maria stark and peter parker interact. she’d love him. if i couldn’t see that, i wanted to see the fic where howard and maria (or just maria) lived to see tony have that bond with peter and i couldn’t write it for the life of me.

so, answer: yes, i would, but it would be bad and i haven’t been able to prove myself otherwise yet.

[andromath-old2]

[andromath-old2]

I just searched your username on Ao3, but it autocorrected to ‘and tomatoes’. 🍅

That is hilarious!!

[andromath-old2]

My AO3 is UP

Hi Guys! Last week anon was wondering about my AO3. I got my invite and have set up my fics!

https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andromath/pseuds/Andromath

All my fics are in drafts and I’ll be releasing them periodically over the next few days.

[andromath-old2]

Peter just want to be an AVENGER, please

[andromath-old2]

OKAY GUYS ENJOY THIS ONE I’VE WORKED THREE WHOLE DAYS ON THIS ONE!!

it’s basically Peter Parker (MCU)’s introduction, in the style of the Spiderverse! Took me SO LONG! RB? pretty please guys! Hope you like it!

[andromath-old2]

I think the karmic balance of the universe favours me surviving the snap - just to torture you some more. Or at the very least, make sure to engrave a poop emoji on your memorial.

The snap didn't only make people disintegrate, but also all their clothes and equipment they had on them. At least a few thousand people had to be on the toilet as they were snapped. My question is: does the poop already in the toilet also disappear? Will people go looking for their loved ones only to find a toilet full of shit?? These are important Questions! (for the purposes of torturing you with, not important to the MCU lore of course).

i dislike everything about this, you, and in this moment, the marvel cinematic universe. no, poop already pooped wouldn’t disintegrate too. yes, if they survived, they may break their toilet doors down (because who doesn’t lock it when you’re doing a number two) and find a bowl of dust and poop.

more importantly, you’re the worst, and if we ever snap in real life, i hope this is how you go: leaving behind a toilet bowl of dust and poop.

[andromath-old2]

Sick&Angsty!Peter AU

So @tempestaurora got me in an angsty mood with her newest fic, so I have an angsty AU for today. An AU about what it truly means to be a hero and help people! Only with Parker Luck in full swing!

Warning: Sickness, disability, depression, suicidal thoughts but also a happy ending

The spider bite had many unseen side effect on Peter's body that were overshadowed by the more obvious abilities. But perhaps the worst was radiation poisoning. A hidden danger that lurked beneath Peter's skin that even he was unaware of.

Fortunately, his healing would take care of any radiation long before it was even detectable on scanners and tests.

Unfortunately, his healing wasn't unlimited. When Thanos snapped his fingers and his body began to disintegrate, his healing put everything it could into stopping it. This gave the radiation poisoning an opening and it started to multiply in Peter's system.

When the Snap is undo, the damage of the radiation poisoning isn't. His healing can't keep up with both stopping the the radiation in his body AND the constantly replenishing source from the spider-bite.

Peter doesn't notice right away, he just thinks he is tired from saving people. That the nose bleeds are caused by the change in weather. The diarrhea is from the Mexican food he and May ate last night. But Tony notices after Peter faints in the middle of stopping some bank robbers.

He gets taken to the Tower, which was still Stark Industries New York headquarters even most of the Avengers stuff was moved upstate. He is reviewed by Dr. Cho and Bruce, who discover the radiation poisoning.

Tony freaks out when he learns that Peter is dying, and maybe only has a few months left to live, depending on how long his healing holds out.

Tony, Helen and the world's leading expert on radiation all set out to find a cure, and Bruce does find one. Unfortunately, it has a side-effect.

The serum will amplify Peter's own healing factor to remove the radiation, but it'll also cause the healing to attack Peter's altered DNA and revert it - effectively meaning that Peter's own powers will self-destruct. No more Spider-Man.

By the time its found, Peter is out of it. They've plied him with drugs for the pain, and they can't ask him for his consent. They have to turn to May, who gives them the go ahead. Anything is worth saving her nephew.

When Peter wakes up, cured but weak, he is furious. Without spider-man, Peter doesn't think he is worth anything. He is useless and can't help people. When he begins throwing things at them, the group all learn to give him some space.

Unfortunately, by the time that Peter has calmed down enough that anyone but a nurse is allowed in his room, other side-effects have shown up. All of which devastate Peter even more.

The serum cured the radiation poisoning, but not the effects it had on Peter before it was cured. Peter's immune system is compromised to the point it might never recover, leading to him being isolated to the Tower. Peter's bones are now brittle and easily broken by daily activities.

Even if Tony built Peter a Iron Man suit, the G-forces would likely break every bone in his body. Peter would never be able to use the suits either.

Peter falls hard into a serious depression. He can no longer help people, he no longer has a purpose. On more than one occasion he contemplates just ending in. Because while he is alive, he isn't alive. He is just going through the motions of living for the sake of going through the motions.

Tony tries to do his best to help. He hires a series of private tutors (mostly world leaders in science and technology) to continues Peter's education. He creates specialized Avatars that Peter can control remotely, so that he can still at least have a social life outside of the Tower. He and Peter spent a lot of time in the lab together working on Avengers tech.

None of it is enough.

Tony himself has almost run out of options when, while moving some old spider-man gear, comes across Peter's original web-fluid formula. He remembers Peter telling him that he developed it even before the Spider-bite, to be an emergency medical bandage. He has an idea.

He has the fluid patented under Peter's name and had Stark Industries begin manufacturing it. A few months later, he bring the results to Peter and shows him how Peter's idea has successfully been rolled out across 18 countries and saved approximately 30,000 lives already.

Peter is overwhelmed by how much his idea helped people and the world. As he is crying, Tony tells him about being a hero isn't about superpowers or directly saving people. The most heroic thing Tony feels he ever did was to shut down Stark's weapons manufacturing and turn the company to humanitarian concerns. While Iron Man has helped a lot of people over the years, it doesn't come close to how many regular old Tony Stark has helped by creating prosthesis, medicine, water filtration systems and clean energy.

Peter is finally inspired knowing that it isn't what he physically does that makes him a hero. It is his heart and his mind. He sets out on dozens of projects the next day designed to help people throughout the world.

Tony looks on proud, knowing that sometime soon he would be announcing that is reclusive protege would be the heir to Stark Industries. The world couldn't be in better hands.

[andromath-old2]

Endgame End Credits Scene:

Tony: Peter, I’d like you to meet someone.

Peter and Tony walk into lab together, Potato comes flying at Peter but he catches it.

Harley, holding potato gun: Wow, you were right he does have good reflexes.

Harley presses button, and a mountain of potatoes fall from a hatch in the ceiling. Peter easily flips out of the way without being hit by a single potato

Peter, smiling: I think we are going to get along great!

Tony, buried under a pile of produce and planning to begin a second Great Potato Famine, realizes he just doomed the world.

I hope Harley enters A4 by shooting a potato fun at someone

God I get that

Personally I want him to reunite with Tony the way ciaconnaa wrote it by having Harley throw a sandwich at Tony and saying, “hey I finally got u your tuna sandwich”

[andromath-old2]

Iron Man 2 missing scene

Famous heart surgeon’s office. X-rays of Tony’s torso are laid out on the desk. Tony toys with his Rolex watch, doesn’t look up once.

HEART SURGEON (poking at the files)

It’s as I said, Mr. Stark: it’s impossible to remove the reactor without damaging your heart beyond repair, the shrapnel is lodged way too close to the left coronal artery. You’d die on the operating table. It’s a damn miracle you survived that first operation, that doctor of yours must have been a true wizard.

TONY STARK

He had very steady hands.

HEART SURGEON

Of course, if you could replace the Palladium with something that doesn’t combust, it’d put an end to your problem. But I’m no engineer.

TONY STARK (resetting the watch)

How long is left?

HEART SURGEON

Three months. Four months, tops. Palladium poisoning is very deadly. There’s some medication I can prescribe you to alleviate the pain if you want.

TONY STARK (with a little hand wave)

Sure, sure. Gimme all the good stuff.

SURGEON (embarassed, but expectant)

Also, it’s a bit…weird to ask, but…would you mind donating your body to our institute after you’re, ehm, gone? Body modifications as heavy as yours are so rare, and it would be such a valuable input to…

TONY STARK (shoots him a long look and nods after a beat, then wanders off, drumming on his arc reactor)

SURGEON (calling after him)

Best of luck Mr. Stark!

Watch ticks and ticks.

Ticking of the watch blends over into heavy metal music. In the limo. Tony lies on the backseat, washes down meds with alcohol, stares at the glass of scotch resting on his belly.

TONY STARK (casually)

Hey, Happy? Which of my car d’you like best?

HAPPY HOGAN (over his shoulder)

That’s a hard one, boss! Eh, well, the R8 is a thing of beauty, but I think I’d pick the Saleen. The noises that car makes! But in silver, orange isn’t really my thing. Why’d you ask, boss?

TONY STARK (removes his watch and puts it in his pocket)

Just curious! Let‘s get us to the airport as fast as we can, ok?

to some random point later in the movie: Saleen S7 in the background, now painted a gleaming silver

Photos: https://radiopaedia.org/cases/chest-x-ray-of-tony-stark-iron-man

[andromath-old2]

Gasp!

An Acolyte?! I take it back I’m going back to poop comments. I need to guide the next generation to glorious 💩 💩 💩 .

You say I'm the worst person on the internet, but I just want it on the record that I did NOT make a 💩💩💩 comment about "man v food" even though you basically wrote a fic BEGGING for it (seriously, he is going to have major issues he did not eat nearly enough fibre for all that protein!!). That is what I'd like to call character development!

okay but i did actually receive a poop comment on that fic about how bad the toilets looked after the boys were done with them that evening and honestly, i consider that your influence

[andromath-old2]

Omg this is such a cute prompt! I planned on this just being a drabble, but if y’all know me at all, it isn’t 500 words lol. I hope you like this!

                                                          o0o0o

Thump-thump. Thump-thump. Thump-thump.

“Kid, can you knock it off? Trying to focus here,” Mr. Stark said, sitting in front of a mass of metal, circuit boards, and wires. Mr. Stark had said that he was optimizing something in one of his suits, but Peter had no idea what he was actually doing. It all looked like absolute chaos, but Mr. Stark didn’t seem to be phased by it at all. Peter sighed and threw the ball against the floor one last time, catching it easily when it ricocheted off the wall and back toward his hand.

“Fine. I’m just so bored,” Peter said, lifting himself up to sit on the neat workbench in front of Mr. Stark’s cluttered one.

“You’re sitting in one of the most technologically advanced labs in the country, heck maybe even in the world, and you’re bored,” Mr. Stark commented dryly, not breaking his focus on the wires he was soldering together. “You never cease to amaze me, Underoos.”

Keep reading