annoyinghalfling

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The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

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explain your gender in 10 words or less without using boring words like “male”, “female”, “nonbinary”, “masculine”, “feminine” or “androgynous”.

go!

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when you cook for everyone and they tell you how much they like the food

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Happy pride! Remember kink belongs at pride!!

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Leaving shit you really ought to have looked at unaddressed because you didn't notice the symptoms is only half the chronic pain puzzle. The other half is when you do notice something and have to play the "okay, is this a new thing, or a long-standing issue I've gotten so good at tuning out that I literally forgot it existed?" game.

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I love the dynamic in the Discworld fandom on this site, I think it's mainly because there are a lot of dormant fans, if you will, who've read and loved the books for years but haven't engaged much recently, who sort of reappear whenever a fun post is doing the rounds. It's fantastic. We get the cozy small fandom vibe without the screaming matches, but also get the popular posts from time to time, y'know?

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Perfect. No notes.

Pip: “Nicholas Sayre is like if Bertie Wooster were a kidnapped princess. God, Garth Nix is great at characters.”

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Eville Rep. We have *so many* McMansions tucked into the oddest corners.

simulacra for bootlickers

FYI, this post is a little more NSFW than usual with the language.

Usually I think McMansions are kind of funny. Sometimes, I even like them. If I didn't like them at least a little bit, I don't think I'd be running this blog for a solid eight years and counting. Some McMansions are so strange and so fascinating in their architectural languages (it's never just one language) that they test the boundaries of what residential architecture can do on an individual and often ad hoc level. Others so cogently and often whimsically express various cultural fascinations and deeply entrenched American ideas of what prosperity looks like (read: neuroticisms), that, as a sociological text they remain unrivaled.

But some (many!) McMansions are, to put it bluntly, evil. And it is these McMansions that reveal the ugly truth beneath the ugly architecture: that the McMansion is a manifestation of power and wealth meant to communicate that power and wealth to others as explicitly as possible, and that it does so in a country besieged by brutal and inescapable income inequality. In our present political moment characterized by extreme and deliberate cruelty, fear, and baleful destruction of all that is pro-social in nature (and nature itself), I figured it was my duty to show my readers a house that embodies these sentiments, one we can all use to assuage some of our perceived powerlessness by way of mocking the shit out of it.

There are a lot of fake White Houses in the US. Most of them can be found in or around the area of McLean, Virginia, the ground zero of DC blob sickos whose job it is to mete out the ratio of lethality and economy for weapons manufacturers. This one, however, is in Indiana, outside of Evansville. It was built at the apex of theme park mindset in architecture (1997) and is on the market for $4.9 million dollars. However, don't be fooled by this opening exterior shot. It takes literal drone footage to show how unhinged this house actually is. In reality, the White House facade is akin to the light dangling from an anglerfish, luring the unsuspecting victim in...

Completely NORMAL amount of money at play here!

There are some images historians (if there are any left) will look back upon and say, such a phenomenon truly would not be possible without an abundance of cheap oil and derivative products. Fortunately, in the immanent post-neoliberal chobani yogurt solarpunk utopia, this house will be converted into a half ruin garden (though this will take some time with all the plastic) half public spa complex. A better world is possible, but only if we imagine it.

Pro tip: there's a way of saying "wow it's so big" that can land as the most devastating insult in the rhetorical lexicon.

I'll be real, the armchair thing is a new one for me, too.

(Rise and grindset voice): Inside you are two lions. Both of them are hungry for prosperity and success. Let's get this bread, king.

Not to do gender here, but compared to the rest of the house, this is a "my wife got her way" room if there ever was one.

Fixer Upper was basically 9/11 for "architectural foam trappings" and "color." Look what they took from you...

Honestly, what a great juxtaposition. This is what that book The Machine in the Garden was all about. (No it's not.)

Half of this post tbh:

Well, that's it for this extremely upbeat and positive McMansion Hell post in this extremely positive and upbeat time we are living in. Join us soon for the concluding part 2 of the Neuschwanstein Castle series, especially if you like beautiful, psychosexually crippled swan boys (real and fictional) and kitsch theory.

If you like this post and want more like it, support McMansion Hell on Patreon for as little as $1/month for access to great bonus content including a discord server, extra posts, and livestreams. (Don't worry! This doesn't adjust for inflation! Now's the perfect time to join!)

Not into recurring payments? Try the tip jar! McMansion Hell stocks, much like mortgage-backed securities only ever go up!!

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Reblog if, no matter the size of the role, you would agree to work with the Muppets if offered the chance to do so, no questions asked

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my creative writing prof also HATES fantasy. as in if she asks for an example of symbolism in a book, and you give something from a fantasy novel, she’ll ask for an example from a “non-commercial book” instead.

I dunno man, people can have preferences, but the second you discount the artistic merit of sci fi and fantasy I stop taking your opinion seriously. and there’s such a big culture in Canada of only valuing literary fiction, to the point where one of our biggest authors, Margaret Atwood, refused for a while to classify her books as sci fi or fantasy. she said they were “speculative fiction”, which is entirely separate and very highbrow (sarcasm).

and I could go on about how Octavia Butler and Ursula Le Guin wrote books every bit as intellectual (and honestly, even more so) than their literary counterparts, but I am also an enjoyer of schlock!! I think there’s artistic merit in animorphs, and in isekais where a japanese schoolgirl reincarnates into a magical spider who has to level up like it’s a video game! it’s like with everything, you can’t draw a clean line that separates ‘art’ from ‘non-art’ or even ‘lesser art’, and pretending you can do so just makes you look ignorant and goofy. in my opinion.

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So I reblogged that “vaccines cause adults” post from @copperbadge and predictably my inbox has gone to shit with a handful of people asking me how I can “trust” vaccines and if you’re looking for me validate your fear mongering over vaccines causing autism, I’m afraid you’re in the wrong place.

I’m the bitch that has anaphylactic reactions to vaccines due to my mast cell disorder and still turn up for my Covid booster shots with my epi pen in one hand and a fistful of Benadryl in the other.

I had reactions to all my MMR boosters and every other booster I’ve ever needed and I still show up because I look at the choices and I prefer the risk of potential immediate death over potentially getting shit like measles and spreading it to the wider community.

The only one I don’t get is the flu shot because the speed at which I react is terrifying and it’s in my file that I’m not allowed it anymore. Doctors made that decision for me, I didn’t.

My MCAS might make me a crunchy hippy dippy bitch against my will, but I’m a science based crunchy hippy dippy bitch and vaccines do not cause autism.

Measles will fucking kill your kid though.

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Oh no. MAGA is mad that the NYT shared the names of DOGE staffers. Don’t share this! Would be a shame

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"Don't use Libby because it costs libraries too much, pirate instead" is such a weird, anti-patron, anti-author take that somehow manages to also be anti-library, in my professional librarian-ass opinion.

It's well documented that pirating books negatively affects authors directly* in a way that pirating movies or TV shows doesn't affect actors or writers, so I will likely always be anti-book piracy unless there's absolutely, positively no other option (i.e. the book simply doesn't exist outside of online archives at all, or in a particular language).

Also, yeah, Libby and Hoopla licenses are really expensive, but libraries buy them SO THAT PATRONS CAN USE THEM. If you're gonna be pissed at anybody about this shitty state of affairs, be pissed at publishing companies and continue to use Libby or Hoopla at your library so we can continue to justify having it to our funding bodies.

One of the best ways to support your library having services you like is to USE THOSE SERVICES. Yes, even if they are expensive.

*Yes, this is a blog post, but it's a blog post filled with links to news articles. If you can click one link, you can click another.

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Please, please come bother us.

i see posts all the time about how services explicitly offered by u.s. libraries are harmful for u.s. libraries and then people comment like “no i think that’s good and you should use it actually” & everyone starts weighing in and disagreeing so here’s my suggestion:

while i’m someone who generally assumes that using a service offered by my local library is good or at least neutral for my local library,

if you’re unsure how to best support & exploit your local library, you could always ask a librarian at your local library. you could go right up to the counter to talk about it or use the email form on the library’s contact page.

now you may think, “uh oh. this post is encouraging people to go and pester their local librarians. that may be a bad use of the library’s time & resources…”

and the is snake swallowing its tail

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We have always existed, and we always will.