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Fascination of the Flesh

▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▏ This post will go into the history and media of cannibalism, and at the end how my identity ties into the subject.

I do not condone the actions mentioned.

And I will not go into graphic details, but this is a warning about the content of this post. ▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▁▏ If I am going to be discussing the history about cannibalism it is only fair to start of with how it has harmed the indigenous community. The word "cannibal" is possible to have come from Christopher Columbus himself. He mentioned to the Queen of rumors about a indigenous group called the "Caribs" that cooked and ate their prisoners. This was then frowned upon so the Queen wished for these people to be enslaved. And when things did not go the way Christopher wanted it to, he simply labelled every protester as a "caribe" having them captured. Then somewhere along the years the word carib became what we use today, cannibal.

Still today tribes of different nations are affected by the western view of them and cannibalism. Seeing anyone not living in the "modern world" as cannibalistic and wild. This thought have partly been caused by movies portrayals, general hatred and differences in cultures.

For there are so many cultures that have different practices surrounding cannibalism, without it having been strange untill people from outside said culture found out about it. Examples being ritually eating a dead relative, eating the flesh of the ones fallen in battle, eating a person to gain their powers or religious sacrifice. It can be horrible in certain circumstances, but it can also be a beautiful thing that is part of a rich culture.

What is more horrible rather than beautiful is when it comes to mummies. Not all too long ago, europeans themself were cannibals aswell. Although they did not like to go by that name and they didn't see themself as such. Peaking in the 16th and 17th century many people ingested remedies containing alot of different human parts. And where from? Mummies stolen from Egyptian tombs ofcourse. There are many different ways the remedies were created, and usage of the parts from the mummy varied. And I can recommend for those intruiged to read about this part of history!

Fun fact, once upon a time catholics next to Indigenous people were consindered equally "savage" due to their consumption of Christ's body and blood. It's funny to see how cannibals themself would call others out for their cannibalism whilst turning a blind eye to their own practices.

This is just brief on the history of harm in differences in culture, next I want to discuss a little bit about media that have further caused harm to indigenous people. There has been quite alot of cannibal centric movies since the 1900's, one old very famous one that has been adapted quite alot is Sweeney Todd. In 1963 there came a bang, cannibal movies reborn when Blood Feast was released. And the "cannibal boom" properly started in the 1970's through the 1980's. Sadly these new ones weren't just horror movies, they also gave a bad light to foreign cultures (non-western). Taking place in south america, africa and asia, often in rainforests. This once again made white people see people of colour as "savage" and primitive. And I believe a particular movie might pop into the minds of certain people reading this, Cannibal Holocaust. There are so many awful things surrounding this movie, and it's not something worth watching either. It centers around a cannibalistic group of people in the amazon and the awful acts that follow.

Movies like these are only made for shock value and to put it shortly, misogynistic and extremely racist. And they've only caused harm to peoples perception of indigenous groups. But thankfully we've moved past this point, and now cannibalistic media focuses on other themes and people.

I find cannibalism to be a interesting and creative tool for storytelling, and I believe that is why it has become so popular. It can be used as something metaphorical or even political. Take the movie Fresh as an example, here we see a white cishet man who is clearly making alot of money. And how? By selling women's body parts to other rich men. Now movies surrounding cannibalism like these have gone from being misogynistic and using women, to being a statement about how men use women. Similar to Patrick Bateman in American Psycho, a book written by a woman to show how ridiculous white rich men are. Ironically that movie flew over the head of most men it was making fun of, and they saw Bateman as the version they all want to be. Slightly terrifying!

It is quite refreshing to see how women have taken over the genre in a sense, and really transformed cannibalism into something unique and mesmerising. Focusing on sexuality, self-discovery, inner rage, fighting the patriarchy or the struggles in friendships etc.

Raw is a good example, it's a coming-of-age movie that focuses on the character Justine. A vegetarian that starts her first year of veterinary college, although the school has some "rituals" for the new students. One being to eat a rabbit kidney, and this is the start of her spiralling craving for meat. Cannibalism in this movie is used in such a clever way of showcasing a person finding who they are in life and how they are going through rapid changes. It's beautiful and chaotic.

Or even that of the movie Under the skin, which isn't really about cannibalism in the same sense as these other movies. But it shares similar themes and images. It follows a woman, that might not be fully human learning about humanity by luring men to her. But especially about the darker sides of humanity like gender roles and sexism. "cannibalism feels ripe for a feminist makeover because so much about femininity centres on consumption – what we can eat, how much we can eat, how to present yourself as appealing, and how those questions are inextricably intertwined." - Vogue

So how does this topic work it's way into my identity? More ways than one, and we shall start with what is probably the most famous one when it comes to cannibalistic media.

Growing up with parents that love movies and collect an insane amount of dvds, there existed alot of horror themed ones in said collection. I didn't get to watch them at first, but that did not last long and I believe I saw my first horror movie at the age of six or seven. It would not be long after that someone in my family put on The silence of the lambs. Hannibal Lecter is just such a switch-up from what people had previously seen about cannibals. He isn't wild nor a monster. He is sophisticated and intelligent with a taste for the finer things in life, and well, human flesh. He is terrifying in that he is so smart and how easily he can read and manipulate others around him. Being respected and well thought of helps him get his way with things in life. I loved this movie and I was deeply intruiged with Hannibal. That was however all there was, untill a certain man called Bryan Fuller decided to write a show.

This show is Nbc's Hannibal, in which we get to follow Will Graham. An FBI criminal profiler who is plagued by his ability to empathise with serial killers. One of the serial killers he is working on catching is Hannibal Lecter, who also happens to be Will's psychiatrist, colleague, friend and eventual love interest. Hannibal in this show is once again less of a monster and more of a man, although perhaps one that sees himself above other people. He is a doctor, a culinary expert and an artist in many ways. He enjoys the finer things in life, from opera shows to an expensive suit.

Murder in this show is art, and i'm not just talking about Hannibal's way of killing and digesting. Everything in this show is made with such a poetic and emotional touch to it. A man resembling the person you love turned into an origami heart, or people's backs skinned and turned into wings so they can look like angels watching over the murderer who suffers from cancer. It is rarely sloppy or brutal, and when it is that also carries meaning. Such as giving in to your repressed feelings and instincts or becoming who you feared you would ultimately end up as.

Cannibalism in this show is also shown in many different angles. A way to control someone, appreciating the people around you to the fullest, playing God or even homoeroticism. And if you weren't aware or haven't understood it by now, I identify as this version of Hannibal Lecter. And whilst my identity as Hannibal is about so many things, such as his interests above. It is also about cannibalism, it's how and why his character was made and it is simply unavoidable. The intimacy, eroticism and the power that comes with it. Allowing yourself to release what you keep hidden, and to find similar minds. Is all part of me and also connects to my other identity I shall discuss, that of a vampire. "If you look at cannibalism throughout history there is something extreme about consuming somebody else. If you love someone fully the most extreme you can go with that is to digest them and make them be part of you." - Mads Mikkelsen There is nothing quite as intimate as that of a vampire consuming it's victim, or perhaps, partner. And similar to cannibalism, vampirism has been used as so many metaphors throughout history. Such as, repressed desires, social fears, spreading of diseases, Queer identities, addictions, lust and so on.

It definitely connects to my general identity, thoughts and the struggles i face in my day to day life. Intrusive thoughts, desires, a want to escape humanity, fear of death, morbid curiosity and sometimes a need to feel powerful. And with the consumption of blood there comes something so raw and personal with it. Perhaps you lured or tempted a person to go with you, with the idea that you'll do something else but end up the your meal. Draining them of their life to sustain your own. Their blood living on forever in the body of the vampire. It's passionate and intimate.

I think Hannibal can sometimes be likened to that of a vampire, the man was even raised in a castle. His mysterious but sensual and intruiging aura. His way of words and quotations. Even just how he presents himself and his meals. It is all like that of an ominous vampire lurking and manipulating to end up with a deeply passionate feeding session.

My final part to this long dive into my psyche is that of Remus Lupin, and being a werewolf. One would think that someone that identifies as a vampire wouldn't also identify as a werewolf. But they do have alot of connections! Especially if you look into the original Dracula story, in which Dracula himself could turn into a wolf.

Remus is very laid back and careful, and I believe alot of that comes from his "disease". It plagues his mind and he deeply fears that he will hurt the ones he loves, even to the point of running away from them. But he loves deeply, and that is probably his greatest strength just as it is his greatest weakness. Being a werewolf is also a wonderful way to represent this. Trying to hold back from hurting but ultimately failing to do so as the beast and urges from deep within comes out. Something i've personally struggled with myself, and still might from time to time. Because sometimes our biggest fears are ourselves and what we are capable of.

I could probably talk about this topic for ages and dig deeper into my thoughts and feelings regarding it. But I do also fear it would become rather confusing after some time- and just too much to take in. It's not an easy thing to write out your thoughts! But nonthenless I do hope this was of interest and perhaps some of you can recognise yourself in this. If you read to this point, wowza!

Sources: Britannica, TED-Ed, Collider, Smithsonian Magazine

[antlereyes]

the art of fuckery 💥

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run me through (twitter)

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Happy New Year 2023!

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Forest of a thousand eyes

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Ed + loving Stede for all the things he was always mocked for

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Jackalope

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Dating your sourcemate,

what is that like?

So, my partner identifies as Edward Teach from our flag means death. And I happen to identify as Stede Bonnet from the same source. And in this source they fall inlove.

♧

I find it amusing how we figured out these identities before anyone of us confessed feelings of love. And how our relationship is in some way mirrored in the show. How I wished to become their friend by how mysterious and cool they seemed. How we slowly grew more comfortable around eachother as the years passed. And how finally, just like in the show, they confessed their love.

◇

And I think us both confirming from the show together also taught us that what we felt was romantic. These characters helped us find eachother in many ways. For me, Our flag means death was my guide to self discovery. And i'm very thankful for it.

♡

Not only regarding romance, but just a helpful hand in processing other things in my life. Or just realising who I am as a person and what I am capable of. And then having a sourcemate, a friend, a partner who understands everything besides me is just a blessing. And it's more than I could have asked for in life.

♤

And man is it nice to have that person so dear to me not only loving the same show. But feeling it like I do, and someone who enjoys discussing every little thing about it. That just also makes me miss my source less, because part of it is here with me.

[antlereyes]

[antlereyes]

Yes ofcourse you can add your two cents! Always interesting to hear how people view things :]

Yeah for sure! I know two other conceptkin, one identifies as storms (specifically tornadoes) and one apocalypses. And I know alot of people connect to the concept of apocalypses and also find comfort in storms. There can be alot to it, and like you said a cultural belief!

Conceptkin valid or not?

Ever since I joined the tumblr commuity i've noticed some discourse regarding conceptkin. To start of with where I stand on this, I am conceptkin myself. I identify as horror conceptkin. What does that exactly mean?

Well, horror has been with me since I was a child. In movies, books, art and atmosphere. It has shaped me and brought me comfort. And most of my other identities connect to horror in some shape or form. In a way it is similar to identifying as a cryptid or monster. Although adding the general vibes of horror to that, and all it encompasses. I identify as a field filled with mist, a crieking staircase, a dark closet, the feeling of being terrified or something crawling in your attic. I am a hundred eyes watching your every step, I am horror.

I haven't really found a good explination to why people don't see it as valid, and they often mix conceptkin with factkin? Factkin is actually harmful to actual people. Being conceptkin hurts nobody, and it's just as strange as identifying as an animal.

I would love to have a calm and respectful conversation with you if you don't find conceptkin to be valid. Explain your viewpoint. I'm all ears (and eyes)

[antlereyes]

Conceptkin valid or not?

Ever since I joined the tumblr commuity i've noticed some discourse regarding conceptkin. To start of with where I stand on this, I am conceptkin myself. I identify as horror conceptkin. What does that exactly mean?

Well, horror has been with me since I was a child. In movies, books, art and atmosphere. It has shaped me and brought me comfort. And most of my other identities connect to horror in some shape or form. In a way it is similar to identifying as a cryptid or monster. Although adding the general vibes of horror to that, and all it encompasses. I identify as a field filled with mist, a crieking staircase, a dark closet, the feeling of being terrified or something crawling in your attic. I am a hundred eyes watching your every step, I am horror.

I haven't really found a good explination to why people don't see it as valid, and they often mix conceptkin with factkin? Factkin is actually harmful to actual people. Being conceptkin hurts nobody, and it's just as strange as identifying as an animal.

I would love to have a calm and respectful conversation with you if you don't find conceptkin to be valid. Explain your viewpoint. I'm all ears (and eyes)

[antlereyes]

RAAAAA

never not thinking about the fact that mads mikkelsen said that all hannibal could think about during the fall was that he was finally in the arms of the man he loved

[antlereyes]

Very accurate

🎶here I go, a gay on my own🎶

[antlereyes]

Fictionkin is never a choice- that is something the kff community has brought on (kin-for-fun) one can't control who they identify as. But I personally get a bit weirded out if someone happens to identify as what I stated, it's not a choice but something makes you identify as them. And if that something is only the crime they've committed i'm not sure i'd want to interract with that person.

Connecting/linking to a villain can definitely be due to what you said! It could help people cope with dark thoughts, help them cope with depression or self esteem issues for sure.

And yeah that last part is a difficult one for sure ! I wouldn't be comfortable around those kinds of people personally. And I hope that if someone feels that strongly over a character that, they don't share alot- I feel it could hurt more people than benefit themself yknow /gen. Thanks for the interesting response!

How problematic can a fictotype be?

Reading this right now you might be wondering what I mean with that. Well, it's a topic i've been pondering on for quite some time. Especially as someone that identifies as "problematic" characters. Biggest more well known one being Hannibal Lecter from the nbc tv show.

Hannibal is a murderer and cannibal, but if you've watched the show it is not all there is to him. He is a doctor and psychiatrist with hobbies that involve swimming, motorcycles, collecting art, books, bones, drawing, cooking, playing music, fashion, composing, interior design and so on.

I identify as all of him, which will involve the bad parts. But that does not make me a bad person. Now had the only known thing about him be that he is a murderer and cannibal and I had still identified as him, that is where my worry would have striked.

Ofcourse a person can connect to or identify as a character that is mainly bad. You might relate to their traumas or maybe it's a past life that is simply still important to you. I connect to certain characters that have done awful things, but mostly since their feelings feel familiar from when i've been in a bad place.

It's okay, and it's okay to know they are bad and relate. But you have to be self-aware.

Biggest worry is if someone were to identify as a fictional version of a real life person. It borders factkin- but also if said person was a war criminal or serial killer etc. How would the victims and/or their families feel if someone claimed to be this person? You need to respect others and the history around said possible events.

It's alot to think about, and people will definitely have different opinions on what exactly is okay and what is not. I just think, if you identify as someone solely because of their bad sides it might be worth looking into why that is? And if you possibly need some help regarding personal feelings and thoughts you carry.

But most importantly, identifying as a villain or a bad character does not equal being a bad person in your current life or state of self.

[antlereyes]

How problematic can a fictotype be?

Reading this right now you might be wondering what I mean with that. Well, it's a topic i've been pondering on for quite some time. Especially as someone that identifies as "problematic" characters. Biggest more well known one being Hannibal Lecter from the nbc tv show.

Hannibal is a murderer and cannibal, but if you've watched the show it is not all there is to him. He is a doctor and psychiatrist with hobbies that involve swimming, motorcycles, collecting art, books, bones, drawing, cooking, playing music, fashion, composing, interior design and so on.

I identify as all of him, which will involve the bad parts. But that does not make me a bad person. Now had the only known thing about him be that he is a murderer and cannibal and I had still identified as him, that is where my worry would have striked.

Ofcourse a person can connect to or identify as a character that is mainly bad. You might relate to their traumas or maybe it's a past life that is simply still important to you. I connect to certain characters that have done awful things, but mostly since their feelings feel familiar from when i've been in a bad place.

It's okay, and it's okay to know they are bad and relate. But you have to be self-aware.

Biggest worry is if someone were to identify as a fictional version of a real life person. It borders factkin- but also if said person was a war criminal or serial killer etc. How would the victims and/or their families feel if someone claimed to be this person? You need to respect others and the history around said possible events.

It's alot to think about, and people will definitely have different opinions on what exactly is okay and what is not. I just think, if you identify as someone solely because of their bad sides it might be worth looking into why that is? And if you possibly need some help regarding personal feelings and thoughts you carry.

But most importantly, identifying as a villain or a bad character does not equal being a bad person in your current life or state of self.

[antlereyes]

╭───────╯•╰───────╮

➣ What is exotrauma?

➤ My own experiences

➢ How to deal with it

╰───────╮•╭───────╯

➣ Exotrauma is a term used to describe trauma that did not occur in this universe or life, but still affects you negatively. When talking about it in the therian and fictionkin community etc it usually has to do with past life memories. But people with psychological identities can still have this impact their life heavily for multiple reasons.

Humans are generally speaking very empathetic creatures, and we are often touched by what we see and experience. So in the case for fictionkin it's not uncommon to feel deeply about what characters have been through or go through. It feels even more personal when we see ourselves in them or identify as them.

One can also connect said characters or creatures trauma to your current real traumas, and thus you will feel even stronger about it. Or it could also be rational fears mixed into it all, such as the fear of being shot. Here the real life danger of gun violence could connect to perhaps a past life where you got hit by a bullet.

➤ My experiences come from being fictionkin, and the trauma my fictotypes carry. I don't like to call myself spiritual especially regarding my identities. I'm very much a scientific person even though I grew up with stories from my countrys folklore etc. It's simply a bit difficult for me to believe in, even if some experiences are shared with spiritual fictionkin. Such as "memories".

All my fictotypes carry something, be that childhood trauma, war trauma, loosing others, being harmed and so on. And alot of it I can comnect to myself, which is probably one of the reasons said identities formed. They've gone through and felt emotions i've felt. Which makes it all the more stronger and real for me.

I've always been very empathetic and often feel like shit when others do. And i'm similar with fictional characters, even more so when I end up identifying as a character. Because that is me, just not right now. And essentially seeing myself go through traumatic experiences can be painful. It's definitely not on the same level as actual trauma, because that affects my real body and mind. Exotrauma is different from that but still hurtful and real in some sense. And it can definitely be hard to deal with.

➢ So how can you deal with it? I will go through what has helped me, and some of these tips I also got from friends which I thank.

Talking about it, just like you might talk with someone regarding actual trauma. And when it's exotrauma it could also be easier to open up about it with close friends, more so than if it was the real deal. Perhaps people in the community can understand you and help you out. I've found it especially helpful to talk with people that share the sources I do, or have very similar experiences.

Realising you don't have to share it but still open up to yourself. We don't always wish to share everything that goes on in our mind. Be it having a fear of opening up to others, be analysed, judged or you just aren't ready for that type of thing. You can still think about or even better, write down your thoughts and feelings. All that without the pressure of others seeing it.

Besides writing it down you can also get creative! Create vent art and scribble or paint down your feelings. Express yourself and get it out of your system. Or also, find music you relate your scenarios to, create playlists or simply listen to said specific songs. I've found that helps to calm my thoughts. Making edits is one that have helped me immensely! Be that related to the trauma or simply making happy edits to think about the painful things less.

If anyone else have any other tips feel free to share them!

Artwork by shahs1221