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the inherent eroticism of wearing a dagger strapped to your upper thigh

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I finally made a Helene Aquilla playlist. I hope you all enjoy pain.

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If you don’t mind because I love to hear it, what editorial choices did Christopher Tolkien make that really frustrate you?

My top one would be Turin’s character assaination.

I do not mind being asked!! this is an incomplete list but I hope it gets the point across

Túrin’s character assassination is astonishing, you’re right, for me it’s specifically everything in Nargothrond as well as the minimizing of Saeros (and sometimes Daeron) harassing him for racist and xenophobic reasons. This is really well-known so I’m not going to spend a lot of time on it unless people want me to? it’s probably best encapsulated in another post lol.

WHERE ARE THE WOMEN, CHRISTOPHER, WHERE ARE THEY. Haleth’s all-woman bodyguards get cut out! Míriel being the inventor of sewing gets cut out! Indis and Nerdanel having a friendship gets cut out! Andreth gets cut out, with not even a mention of the Athrabeth! Morwen and Niënor lose all their character traits! Finduilas is a ghost of her former self! Idril’s character gets cut down to nothing!

Findis and Lalwen not existing. I’m actually going to give them their own bullet point because Lalwen goes to Beleriand with her brother Fingolfin. That’s an entire extra Finwëan princess to talk about!

cutting the Wanderings of Húrin from the Silmarillion was a Bad Choice because it robs Húrin of his status as like. almost a warning of divine punishment. With the Wanderings, and specifically his travels to Gondolin and Menegroth, you can make the argument that Doriath falling and Gondolin falling were in large part because they failed to look after innocents and refugees, and that’s a really neat angle

Gil-galad Son Of Fingon. Gil-galad’s parentage changed so many damn times. I am all for Gil-galad the adopted son of Findekáno and also kind of Maitimo? but Gil-galad the biological son of Fingon has caused so many fandom problems. Leaving his parentage ambiguous would have been the right choice, and Christopher himself agrees with me here.

Beren and Lúthien being directly involved with killing the dwarves who killed Thingol. Christopher also admits in HoME that having Guy Gavriel Kay help with ghostwriting that Silm chapter was a mistake, and that he probably could have succeeded in creating a coherent narrative from his father’s later work (specifically the draft where Celegorm and Curufin kill the dwarves, assuming they have the Silmaril, but Melian actually took it and went to Lúthien)

I’m still doing research on this so I can’t actually speak authoritatively on it yet but what inspired my original frustrated post was the fact that as far as I can tell, the bits in the Silm chapter “Of Maeglin” about Maeglin’s desire to marry Idril being seen as incestuous and twisted and disgusting? Entirely absent from the drafts. All I’ve found in HoME and TFOG so far indicates that J.R.R. Tolkien never wrote anything close to that - Maeglin wanted to marry her, sure, but in the Book of Lost Tales, their marriage is frowned upon because Turgon thought that his nephew was clout-chasing rather than genuinely in love with his daughter. And the other HoME volumes usually have some variation on “Maeglin wanted to marry her, and Turgon loved and trusted him, but she married Tuor instead”, if they mention him at all. All the stuff about how he loved without hope, and how she saw him as terrifyingly warped? I’m willing to say that there’s a very good chance he invented that. Maeglin’s characterization in JRRT’s writing is very different from how he is in the Silm.

Amrod surviving at Losgar. I feel like this is a pretty agreed-upon fandom thing? We all sort of just accept that he died. But it still annoys me that Chris decided not to follow that path.

Argon not existing at all. Argon’s death mirrors Amrod’s death - both Fëanor and Fingolfin have to lose a son before they can begin life in exile, and one dies in fire and the other dies in freezing cold. It also sets up an interesting relationship since Argon died defending his family and his people and Amrod died because of someone else’s selfish and misguided attempt to defend his family.

the removal of a lot of the more queercoded/queer-subtext moments. Túrin and Beleg kiss in front of the Gaurwaith in the Lay of the Children of Húrin, and in that version and the Book of Lost Tales version of the story, Túrin kisses Beleg after he dies. The green Elessar that Galadriel gives to Aragorn is mentioned to be a betrothal gift in Laws and Customs among the Eldar, and there’s one version of the story where that same green stone was given to Fingon by Maedhros.

downplaying the presence of Taliska in the narrative and stripping out a lot of Edainic cultural worldbuilding. Taliska, one of the Edainic languages (or an Edainic language with several distinct dialects) hasn’t had any publicly released information about grammar and construction. We never find out in the published Silm that the Atani - the mortal Men - call themselves the Seekers, the way the elves call themselves the Quendi. We don’t learn that nothlir is the Taliska word for “folk” or “people”, so nothlir Haletha means “folk of Haleth”. All the lengthy discussion of Edainic philosophy from the Athrabeth is gone, and Chris’s decimation of the Narn i Chin Húrin means we don’t know anything in the Silm chapter about life in Dor-lómin under Húrin and Morwen’s leadership.

I hope that answers your question? sorry, this turned out to be long.

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something that's been bothering me ever since i watched that scene on s&b but especially after seeing it blow up on tumblr and twitter as this big romantic quote... inej telling kaz about other girls at the menagerie who she wants to help to get out of there because she firmly believes that nobody deserves to be put through sex trafficking and one of her main goals in life is to save other girls from the same fate that she faced and show!kaz telling her "no, we will not get anyone else out because nobody is like you" is one of the most and probably even the most disrespectful quote they could have ever put into that show.

obviously the fact that this is supposed to show the audience that kaz is in love with inej and framing this quote as this """romantic""" line to just casually throw into that show makes all of this ten times worse. because show!kaz not only says that he thinks that other girls don't deserve to be freed from sex trafficking he also explicitly points out that inej getting out of the menagerie is only of worth to him because he's in love with her and she's skilled enough. imagine telling that to the face of someone who is deeply traumatized by sex trafficking.

not only is this scene super disgusting and has nothing to do with who these characters are in the books because book!kaz kills r*pists, buys his gf a ship because he knows that her goal is to hunt down slaves and free their girls but also because book!inej would have been disgusted by anyone who says shit like that and would have punched show!kaz in the face for saying this instead of being flattered. it's not the romantic scene you all think it is.

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Literally all of this.

don’t let anyone on this website call you cringe they literally have a tumblr account

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wishlist

big sword 

big sheath for my big sword

RIPPED arms for taking my big sword out on a refreshing walk in the sun

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I still think about this months later.

Can we just talk about the fact that Avitas Harper

Spoilers for all the AEITA books including the end of Sky

Helped Laia break Elias and Darin out of Kauf by giving her information.

Befriended a Scholar slave, Bee, when he was stationed at Kauf presumably as a Fiver which would have been when he was like 12-14 years old, and ten or so years later she still remembered him.

Made sure Helene would eat even when she was really stressed out and busy with work.

Kept Dex’s secret about his sexuality, literally, did not say anything to anyone.

Kept Helene’s secret about her ability to heal people.

Trusted Helene’s judgement but also wasn’t afraid to challenge her when he felt it was necessary.

Helped Laia escape by cutting the ropes binding her because he knew Elias, who was Helene’s best friend, would never forgive her if she harmed Laia. Even though he was face to face with his brother in that moment he still put other people first.

Went through hell serving the Commandant even though he must have hated her because he had to know more about his brother, who he’d gone to school with but presumably didn’t know was his brother at the time.

Makes sure Helene doesn’t get hurt even though she’s being stubborn. And when she does get hurt, he refuses to leave her, by standing up to the freaking Nightbringer.

Disobey’s Helene’s orders to collapse the tunnels because he could never leave her behind.

Makes sure to tell Helene she is beautiful, with or without a mask and scars. This is huge, do you know how many people would judge someone for a facial difference?

Fights beside Helene, time and time again.

Brings Helene the tea she needs because he knows she will be too embarrassed to get it, and is kind to her when she’s obviously uncomfortable that he’s had need to get this tea before.

Kept Mirra’s secret.

Took Helene to the same room he went to when he found out how his father died, because he knew what she would need after losing her sister.

The way he handled finding out how his father died. It must have wrecked him, and yet he held himself together and even let the information be used.

Tells Helene to make the promise to her nephew and is also very sweet to the baby.

And after all of that, all of those things, he still didn’t believe he was good or kind or had any of his father’s better qualities.

He deserved so, so much better. Helene deserved better. Elias deserved to spend time with his brother. I will never forgive that ending because it ruined the whole freaking series for me in the end.

It’s ok to let characters live. It’s ok not to kill everyone. It’s actually ok to let readers finish a book with tears in their eyes but also with their hearts full.

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He was still too young to know that the heart's memory eliminates the bad and magnifies the good, and that thanks to this artifice we manage to endure the burden of the past.

It hurts

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Why does it hurt so much!

- Why did you carve the names? - Oh, somebody had to do it, and as far as I could tell I was the only one still active. I also had this ridiculous notion that it might help.

Nightingale being the life of the party as usual.

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I am convinced there are men in the world who are as romantic as the men in books. And this is one of the many reasons why I don't have a boyfriend.

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Legolas & Gimli

One of my absolute favorite things about Lord of the Rings is the character development and friendship of Legolas and Gimli.

They met and immediately resented one another because of the centuries-old bitterness between dwarves and elves. But once they become part of the fellowship, they learn how to work together.

The moment Gimli tells Legolas about Galadriel giving him 3 hairs from her golden head, Legolas is starting to think “maybe dwarves aren’t so bad.” And Gimli obviously doesn’t think negatively of all elves since he declared Galadriel as the fairest thing in all of Middle Earth. (I also love the implications of her giving him 3 hairs when she denied them to Feanor. See The Silmarilion if you’ve never read it. It’s worth the read.)

By the time they meet the Rohirim during their pursuit to rescue Merry and Pippin from the Orcs, Legolas’ instinct is to defend Gimli from Eomer’s threat.

The Battle of Helm’s Deep is another showcase of their friendship. One of my favorite moments from The Two Towers is their friendly banter when they await the battle.

I also love that they turn every battle into a friendly competition. I like to imagine how they got to that point. Did they both silently keep tally of their kills in the battle against the goblins in Moria? And then later discuss it? Perhaps as a coping mechanism to the grief of losing Gandalf on the bridge of Khazad-dûm? I can see it starting as banter between whether elves or dwarves are better fighters. And I can just see how from that point on, they have this agreement of “whoever kills the most enemies in the next battle is the superior warrior.”

And when Legolas takes down the oliphaunt in the Battle of Gondor and Gimli is just flabbergasted. He indignantly insists it still only counts as one. By that point, they are completely friends who would lay down their lives for the other without thinking twice.

And one of the many moments throughout the series that brought me to tears was their march against the Black Gate. They all expected to die there - a last ditched effort to distract Sauron so Frodo could destroy the ring. They were the diversion and they knew it. When Gimli says he never thought he’d die side-by-side with an elf and Legolas just smirks and counters “What about side-by-side with a friend?”

Gimli considers and you can see him really process it. That Legolas is his friend. After everything they endured together, how could they not be? I’ve watched these films at least 30 times and I always tear up when Gimli replies, “Aye. I could do that.”

If you’ve never read the books, please consider doing so. Their friendship is so fantastic. It’s truly one of Tolkien’s greatest acts of the trilogy in my opinion. Legolas even built his own boat and snuck Gimli into Valinor, making him the first and only dwarf to ever see the undying lands. The fact that they remained such close friends until the end of time just gives me so many feels. I stan one elf-dwarf friendship as the ultimate enemies to friends trope.

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Gandalf finally losing it with Pippin

"What are you going to do then?" "Knock on the doors with your head Peregrin Took."

"Jump over it Peregrin Took."

"this is a serious journey not a hobbit walking party. Throw yourself in next time."

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Literally me with no idea how to use the beta editor...

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End of chapter 5:

Zoya’s eyes narrowed. “Damn Nina Zenik”

Beginning of chapter 6:

“Bless Nina Zenik” Nikolai murmured.

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"They kept each other marching. They kept each other strong. So he would not find another excuse to get her talking again. He would not tell her he was afraid to be left alone with the thing he might become, and he would not ask her to leave the lamp burning, a child's bit of magic the ward off the dark. But he was relieved when she did it anyway."

No thoughts, head empty, just Zoyalai being perfect for each other. The respect and understanding at the base of Bardugo's couples/relationships is honestly like 50% of what makes them so appealing to me.

The other 50% is banter.

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Don't remind me.

Sabaa Tahir really likes seeing Helene suffer, huh

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But long ago he rode away, and where he dwelleth none can say; for into darkness fell his star in Mordor where the shadows are.

Yes I'm listening to the BBC radio adaptations and having an LOTR breakdown.