arydewanthi

[arydewanthi]

            “I’m all alone…”

[arydewanthi]

Just leave me (please don’t leave me)

Can’t win chasing round circles head imploding communication stunted not on my part.

Hard to talk topics I have to talk or I implode fear, paranoia, trust issues galore.

I tell you more, more of what haunts me, just like before you can’t see how much I need to be set free, thoughts out of me.

I need to hear your words telling me the truth. You can’t handle lose lose for you. Believing honesty will make my neuroses worse its a curse honesty is key for me.

Even if it hurts at first. It’s not the worst one can endure.

Trust broken once. Now everything’s in question. Truth is what i seek. It might hurt me for awhile but trust broken hurts me forever.

Ends in tears you shutting it down getting mad. I know i fuck up with my neurotic behaviours.

I try so hard it doesn’t help when you lie I know you are I play dumb shut it deep inside til now 2 weeks later or more i’m back on the floor how things were before. Broken dead inside ruining my life, ruining our relationship.

Hitting self destruct, the thoughts kill me inside if i dont communicate it sends me back into a spiral of self shame, harm. It’s hard enough as it is not to cut up my arm.

I need you to disarm thoughts infecting me, virus. No protection. Outdated, broken. Dysfunctional. Fucked up. Delusional. Nobody. Worthless. Fuck me just kill me already.

Just end our suffering. Leave me like I deserve. Leave me before you get hurt; beyond repair. It’s not fair.

I destroy everything I love. I’ll die before the rising sun. Leave now carry on pack your bags don’t watch me slowly die inside til it shows outside.

I don’t wanna drag you down into my hell. You stay with me you might as well. Engulfing me no escape don’t jump in. Leave now.

Get out while you can no hope for me. He sees me where ever i may be. No hope No hope No hope.

Not for me…. but for you… you’ll see (leave me) how much brighter the world can be just, leave me…

[arydewanthi]

THIS.

I. LOVE. THIS.

[arydewanthi]

useful apps for a better life

made this to try out canva! all apps were downloaded from the canadian iphone app store 😊

life cycle: free on itunes | not available on google play

forest: $1.99 on itunes | free on google play

sleep cycle: free on itunes | free on google play

** I only use this to track my sleep, not to wake me up based on analytics

alarmy: free on itunes | free on google play

** I don’t actually use this as an alarm because when I tried to take a picture to turn the alarm off, it didn’t work – I just use the white noise (you can set how long the noise plays)

plant nanny: free on itunes | free on google play

[arydewanthi]

I believe in free education, one that’s available to everyone; no matter their race, gender, age, wealth, etc… This masterpost was created for every knowledge hungry individual out there. I hope it will serve you well. Enjoy!

FREE ONLINE COURSES (here are listed websites that provide huge variety of courses)

Alison 

Coursera

FutureLearn

open2study

Khan Academy

edX

P2P U

Academic Earth

iversity

Stanford Online

MIT Open Courseware

Open Yale Courses

BBC Learning

OpenLearn

Carnegie Mellon University OLI

University of Reddit

Saylor

IDEAS, INSPIRATION & NEWS (websites which deliver educational content meant to entertain you and stimulate your brain)

TED

FORA

Big Think 

99u

BBC Future

Seriously Amazing

How Stuff Works

Discovery News

National Geographic

Science News

Popular Science

IFLScience

YouTube Edu

NewScientist

DIY & HOW-TO’S (Don’t know how to do that? Want to learn how to do it yourself? Here are some great websites.)

wikiHow

Wonder How To

instructables

eHow

Howcast

MAKE

Do it yourself

FREE TEXTBOOKS & E-BOOKS

OpenStax CNX

Open Textbooks

Bookboon

Textbook Revolution

E-books Directory

FullBooks

Books Should Be Free

Classic Reader

Read Print

Project Gutenberg

AudioBooks For Free

LibriVox

Poem Hunter

Bartleby

MIT Classics

Many Books

Open Textbooks BCcampus

Open Textbook Library

WikiBooks

SCIENTIFIC ARTICLES & JOURNALS

Directory of Open Access Journals

Scitable

PLOS

Wiley Open Access

Springer Open

Oxford Open

Elsevier Open Access

ArXiv

Open Access Library

LEARN:

1. LANGUAGES

Duolingo

BBC Languages

Learn A Language

101languages

Memrise

Livemocha

Foreign Services Institute

My Languages

Surface Languages

Lingualia

OmniGlot

OpenCulture’s Language links

2. COMPUTER SCIENCE & PROGRAMMING

Codecademy

Programmr

GA Dash

CodeHS

w3schools

Code Avengers

Codelearn

The Code Player

Code School

Code.org

Programming Motherf*?$%#

Bento

Bucky’s room

WiBit

Learn Code the Hard Way

Mozilla Developer Network

Microsoft Virtual Academy

3. YOGA & MEDITATION

Learning Yoga

Learn Meditation

Yome

Free Meditation

Online Meditation

Do Yoga With Me

Yoga Learning Center

4. PHOTOGRAPHY & FILMMAKING

Exposure Guide

The Bastards Book of Photography

Cambridge in Color

Best Photo Lessons

Photography Course

Production Now

nyvs

Learn About Film

Film School Online

5. DRAWING & PAINTING

Enliighten

Ctrl+Paint

ArtGraphica

Google Cultural Institute

Drawspace

DragoArt

WetCanvas

6. INSTRUMENTS & MUSIC THEORY

Music Theory

Teoria

Music Theory Videos

Furmanczyk Academy of Music

Dave Conservatoire

Petrucci Music Library

Justin Guitar

Guitar Lessons

Piano Lessons

Zebra Keys

Play Bass Now

7. OTHER UNCATEGORIZED SKILLS

Investopedia

The Chess Website

Chesscademy

Chess.com

Spreeder

ReadSpeeder

First Aid for Free

First Aid Web

NHS Choices

Wolfram Demonstrations Project

Please feel free to add more learning focused websites. 

*There are a lot more learning websites out there, but I picked the ones that are, as far as I’m aware, completely free and in my opinion the best/ most useful.

[arydewanthi]

junhyung getting his revenge on that chicken…

[arydewanthi]

[arydewanthi]

[arydewanthi]

Don’t ever ask me what the hell I was thinking ‘cause I don’t know either.

[arydewanthi]

[arydewanthi]

hobbies masterpost!

a really excellent way to reduce anxiety is to pick up a new hobby. find something you’re interested in, learn it, then use it as a healthy and productive way to cope.

learn to play guitar

learn how to make interactive stories with the free program Twine

learn how to make pixel art

learn another language

learn how to build a ship in a bottle

learn how to develop your own film

learn how to embroider

learn how to make chiptunes (8-bit music)

learn how to make origami (the art of paper folding)

learn how to make tumblr themes

learn how to make jewelry 

learn how to make candy

learn how to make terrariums

learn how to make your own perfume

learn how to make your own tea

learn how to build birdhouses

learn how to read tarot cards

learn how to make zines

learn how to code

learn how to whittle (wood carving)

learn how to make candles

learn how to make clay figurines

learn how to knit scarves

learn how to become an amateur astronomer

learn some yoyo tricks

learn how to start a collection

learn how to start body building

learn how to edit wikipedia articles

learn how to decorate iphone cases

learn how to do freelance writing

learn how to make your own cards and

learn how to make your own envelopes

learn how to play the ukulele 

learn how to make gifs

learn how to play chess

learn how to juggle

learn how to guerrilla garden

learn how to chart your family history

learn how to keep chickens

learn how to do yoga

learn how to do magic tricks

learn how to raise and breed butterflies

learn how to play dungeons & dragons

learn how to skateboard

learn how to do parkour

learn how to surf

learn how to arrange flowers

learn how to make stuffed animals

[arydewanthi]

This is so true!

school mindset

essays - make each essay you write better than the last


 small assignments - aim for 100s, expect 100s, get 100s


 homework - pretend they’re assignments


 homework that’s not graded - pretend! they’re! assignments!


 tests - study for 100s, expect less


 long term projects - act like it’s due in four days -even when it’s not- until you’re done with it


 group projects - do not get angry


 presentations - pretend you’re obama

disclaimer - this works for me, it may not work for everybody, do not push yourself too hard!!

[arydewanthi]

“who said it?”, pt. ii

this time, we’re going to have a list of the common and popular quotes you find all over the place that are quoted all the time and their authors!! enjoy! (: (find pt. i here)

“Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light; I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.” 

An Old Astronomer to His Pupil, Sarah Williams

“The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep.”

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening, Robert Frost

“Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.”

Albert Camus

“Do I dare disturb the universe?”

The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock, T.S. Eliot

“And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good.”

East of Eden, John Steinbeck

“The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.”

Paradise Lost, John Milton

“Sometimes I can hear my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I’m not living.”

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, Jonathan Safran Foer

“We live as we dream—alone.”

Heart of Darkness, Joseph Conrad

“To the stars who listen— and the dreams that are answered.”

A Court of Mist and Fury, Sarah J Maas

“We are all broken. That’s how the light gets in.”

a mashed up quote from Leonard Cohen and Ernest Hemingway

“Keep your eyes on the stars, and your feet on the ground.”

Theodore Roosevelt

“Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage at the dying of the light.”

Do not go gentle into that good night, Dylan Thomas

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart.”

Helen Keller

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

Aristotle

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.’“

C.S. Lewis

“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”

Oscar Wilde

“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”

Oscar Wilde

“If you don’t stand for something you will fall for anything.”

multiple authors (incl. Malcolm X, Alexander Hamilton, Irene Dunne)

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.”

Mark Twain

“There is never a time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing, throbbing moment.”

The Truth About Forever, Sarah Dessen

and there we have it, a collection of popular quotes from others! i hope this was helpful, and stay tuned for pt. iii and more! 

yours,  joce xx

[arydewanthi]

my bucket list 💛 i got more printer ink today so i can finally print pictures again !!

[arydewanthi]

Sherlock + favourite quotes.

[arydewanthi]

how to break my heart in 3 words.

[arydewanthi]