asexual

[asexual]

bluntly if the only time you ever mention asexuality is to praise asexuals who are kinky or laud “asexual perverts” or go on about how “asexuals write the best smut” or otherwise only treat asexuals who perform a certain amount of sex as worthwhile or valid then I do not trust you

[asexual]

are you able to identify as asexual if you are a teen?

Absolutely, of course! A lot of aphobes/queerphobes in general think you can't realize when you're young, but that's so wrong.

[asexual]

Hello! I'm creating a queer resource page, and I was wondering if I could send people your way for advice, support, etc. Would that be alright?

Hi! Absolutely, what an honor. I'd be thrilled! 🖤🩶🤍💜

[asexual]

Hiii hope you're doing alright :)

Question for the aces... is it an asexual experience to frequently be horny and experience some sort of physical arousal, but simultaneously not want to even bother dealing with it because it's purely a bodily feeling? Like it's irritating to need, but the satisfaction of orgasming isn't good enough to warrant the effort needed to take care of it, y'know what I mean? It's just like. Idk. Maybe that's just some sort of dysfunction but I was curious if anyone else experiences this because it's frustrating!! 😭😭 and it's not like I'm gonna go look for a partner or anything because I don't want that either and it does even less for me.

(I do sincerely apologize if you don't take these sorts of asks, I'm just not sure who to talk to this about haha. Please disregard if that is the case!)

Hi! While I don't think this is exclusively an asexual thing, it absolutely can be and often is. It sounds like an incredibly human thing that might be particularly intense for aces/acespec people. Unfortunately I don't have any advise on how to deal with it though, so I'll open this one up for the crowd in regards to actual things you can do to help it, if you're looking for a solution!

[asexual]

[asexual]

Leftist infighting right now is especially not needed

[asexual]

just a handy little info chart on the spectrums of sexuality.

[asexual]

💙 USA 💙

national suicide prevention (edit: alternatives to 988)

national domestic violence hotline

national sexual abuse hotline

trans lifeline and resources

💙INTERNATIONAL💙

list of suicide hotlines by country

domestic violence hotlines and resources by country

sexual (+ domestic) abuse agencies by country

international trans resources

edit: taking this opportunity whilst this gets traction!

Palestine Children Relief Fund

Lebanon Red Cross

International Rescue Committee (Sudan, Lebanon, Gaza, Congo etc.)

Ukraine Support

[asexual]

is demisexual on the asexuality spectrum?

yes indeed it is!

[asexual]

Hi I’m a little lost with my sexuality like I have a sex drive put not when I see people and I don’t crave to have a sexual relationship with someone but I want a romantic relationship I just don’t know anymore. Can you please help me?

hmm, you could be aegosexual/autochorrisexual but alloromantic? Not that you need a specific label, you can just call yourself aspec if you want! BUT if you experience arousal but just not in the context of other people that could be a huge sign of being aegosexual!

another thing worth noting is that lots of aces, even sex-repulsed aces, DO still have a sex drive! So you could in fact be “fully” Ace so to speak! Honestly there’s so many labels under the asexual spectrum and it’s ok if you identify with multiple or just wanna be unlabelled/generally asexual-spectrum as an umbrella term that’s totally fine too!

[asexual]

How can I tell if I’m aceflux or just have a sex drive? Sometimes I’m really allo and have sexual attraction to strangers. Sometimes I’m really ace and don’t even have sexual attraction to my partners. Sometimes I’m something in between. Is it ok to call myself aceflux? Or is that wrong? And I know you said no discourse but is it discourse if I ask if aceflux counts as queer? I’m queer anyway cuz I’m pan and nonbinary. But don’t know if aceflux is queer too or if only “full” asexuals count.

So before I answer your actual question I wanna acknowledge your no discourse comment — ALL asexual or aromantic spectrum identities are 100% queer by default. When I say no discourse, what I mean is I don’t want anyone coming in to my inbox with Aphobia or trying to argue with me over whether or not a certain orientation is queer enough or not. Like, I’m here to validate aspec people’s queerness, but I’m not here to argue about it with exclusionists. So to answer that…yes, aceflux is queer and if you do feel you might be aceflux, that’s just as queer as you being pan and nb is!

To answer your actual question, I’ll get right to the point of saying there’s nothing wrong whatsoever with identifying as aceflux if you even SOMEWHAT possibly relate to the label. Even if you end up being “wrong” and it’s “just your sex drive” — you haven’t, like, harmed or appropriated actual ace-specs, you know?

but I would say you sound like you could hypothetically be aceflux. While “sometimes fully allo” and “sometimes fully ace” absolutely counts as aceflux, a lot of aceflux ppl will flux ALL around the spectrum — having allo days, ace days, demi days, lith days, gray days, cupio days, aego days, so many things I am forgetting! Is that also a thing for you? I would definitely do some internal searching to see if “fully ace” and “fully allo” are the only things you experience. If there’s more, you can almost definitely claim aceflux. Even if there’s not more, and you truly just switch between ace and allo, you still can call yourself aceflux of course, I just wanted to give more context!!

Differentiating between libido and attraction can be really difficult. Generally I’d say a libido is about IF you’re experiencing desire at all, and sexual attraction is about WHO you’re attracted to. So for example, someone who’s completely allo will, generally speaking, ALWAYS experience sexual attraction in SOME way. Even if they don’t actively want sex at the moment. I’m not saying allos are horny 24/7 or anything, and Im not implying aces are never horny. But a general rule of thumb is that an allo person is always capable of feeling sexual *attraction* even if they don’t actively want it all the time. so based on what you told me you could likely fit the aceflux label if that’s what feels right to you. even if you’re still unsure — why not just try it out? :) Publicly or privately identify as aceflux for awhile, maybe get some pride merch or at least something in the aceflux flag colors. See if it feels right to you. And if it doesn’t feel right, is it because the label is wrong, or is it because you possibly have internalized aphobia? Which if you do — no shame, as we all deal with that in some way, sadly. But I would recommend trying on the label and seeing how you feel after publicly or even just privately identifying as such.

[asexual]

are you aware that the "about" mentioned in your bio links to "https://about/"?

hi! i was not until this message - is it fixed now?

[asexual]

sure "romantic" isn't the only type of love but also "love" isn't the only type of positive feeling. So maybe stop insisting everyone needs love to be happy and accept that loveless ppl exist? Pretty please?

[asexual]

If you really want to be an ally to aromantic people, you have got to drop the term "just friends" from your vocabulary. Almost everyone says this, and it's rarely malicious, but it's still a microaggression against the arospec community.

Non-aro people often say stuff like, "Oh, I have a crush on them, but I'm also okay with us just being friends." Or "We're not dating, we're just friends!" and similar things along these lines. Without even meaning to, they're implying that friendships/platonic relationships are less meaningful than relationships with a romantic element.

Both types of relationships are equally important! By saying that platonic relationships are less than romantic/sexual relationships, you're throwing aroace-spec people under the bus, without even meaning to.

The good news is, the word 'just' is the ONLY thing you need to change about your vocabulary. Instead of saying "they're just my friend" you can say "they're my friend". The meaning is still there, but you're no longer being aphobic.

[asexual]

Sex positivity is also about not calling Ace people prude and using virgin as an insult 👍 hope that helps

[asexual]

something i hate to see but sadly see a lot of within the aromantic allosexual community is the hate towards men.

cisgender homosexual men are valid allo aros.

cisgender heterosexual men are valid allo aros.

transgender homosexual men are valid allo aros.

transgender heterosexual men are valid allo aros.

if you disagree with any of this, get tf off my blog. you are part of the reason our community is so overlooked.

[asexual]

can you fucking imagine if there was a poll going around asking if bisexual people were queer??? or trans people even. anything after the G other than A really (and if you say A is for ally I am killing you with a piano).

it would be fucking ridiculous, wouldn't it?

yeah so the "are cishet aromantic men queer" poll should be seen by EVERYONE as fucking ridiculous. because it is. it's not really up for debate.

if someone asked you right now, are lesbians queer, you'd tell them to touch grass. at best. you'd probably ignore them if we're being honest. but suddenly when they ask about aromantic people it's up for debate? or worse you "don't want to get involved"?

aromantic people are queer. whether you like it or not.