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An inconsistently drawn comic based on the Billstill AU by @jellynut !

I really like this AU for a number of reasons, but my number 1 is the simple horror of having no privacy, and the idea of a character trying to bond with their family while knowing a demon is overhearing/mocking every bit of vulnerability. (I also have a comic about Bill messing with one of Stan's memories because I'm a sucker for psychological mess-ery, but it was too ugly to post!!) Have this drawing which is less unfinished and therefore allowed to be here.

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the more i look at it, the more i realize my age ajshfsjak is real cute thoooo </333

whoever wishes to participate, have a gooo

Link to picrew

i found a cool tag game on twitter and i really wanna import it (o^ ^o)

this picrew + the last song you listened to :]

no pressure tags: @blood-loving-leech @overtaken-boredom @lesbianthatyaps @kameonerd566 @hexedvampire @laczki @anonymous-shxtposter @fleurafae @flovqy + anyone who wants to do it <3

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Two movies I like

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yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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Filbrick really is an idiot, isn't he? Where does anyone think that kicking your teenage son out of the house before he even graduates from high school is an acceptable consequence for making his brother don't get in a good college? The only consequences Stan should have suffered for accidentally breaking Ford's experiment and not telling him about it is a) Ford being sad and angry at him and b) find a job to help to pay for a good college for Ford.

Oh definitely. I didn't like how Filbrick worded out his frustration because it left a lasting impact for both of the twins: that it was Stan's fault for ruining a good chance for the family (letting Stan's insecurity of only causing harm no matter how hard he tries take into deep root), and reinforcing the fact that Ford was meant for greater things (feeding on Ford's desperate need to be important enough to be needed).

I would also like to pull the 'different generation, different perspectives' card. Using the little information we have with Filbrick, he too was no stranger to hardships. Heck, he may not even went to college what with antisemitism being so much more rampant (compared to what the Stan twins have faced in their time).

In Ford's case, he didn't move an inch when the principal told him that his son has the potential to get into one of the best academic institutes in America. He was only impressed with the mere mention of Ford becoming a millionaire because money meant security, and security meant a better living situation, and better living means anywhere that is not Glass Shard Beach.

In Stan's case, Filbrick grossly underestimated how hard it is to find a job that pays enough without a high school diploma. This is the part where Filbrick didn't know his own son, because Stan will do anything just to get back home. That he will take every shortcut if it meant for a chance to be back with his family. Filbrick didn't realize that Stan wasn't the only one being an ignoramus.

Filbrick was wrong for doing what he did to Stan and Ford. He failed as a man by being a bad role model for his sons, and he failed as a father for only providing fuel for their insecurity.

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The Heart Wants What It Doesn't Have - Stanley Pines and His Undeniable Want for People to Want Him Back

Stan's strength doesn't lie in the streets. We have a whole decade of him not catching a break, getting banned by majority of the states, and even served time more than once. No, I believe his strength is his innate interest in people.

In their childhood, Crampelter told Stan that if it weren't for the company of his brother, he'll be alone. In that instance, we immediately saw that that is his true fear. He loves people but they don't seem to love him back, so he clings on to the person he knows who does: Ford. The idea of together forever brought comfort to him. It didn't matter if he fails, so long as he is standing with someone, then he never failed to begin with.

I'd like to think that his parents knew about this. And I'd like to think that that was Filbrick's main motivation to kick him out. You saw how Stan's tough love was a direct copy from his father, and that no matter what he's been through, he can't bring himself to completely hate the man who worked so hard to provide for his family. Again, Stan loves people—he wants them around. But Filbrick had other ideas. He knew his sons love each other, believed that Ford will get over it, and knew that Stan knew that too. But that would mean he wouldn't face the consequence, and Filbrick didn't want that. He wanted Stan to actually learn from his mistakes, and that those mistakes, no matter how much of an accident it was, will always have consequences. The world is cruel, and it's the father's job to make his children be above it.

What Filbrick did made Stan's fear into a reality. Believing that will toughen him up, believing that he'll rise up, believing that he'll finally become a man. But he doesn't know his son. He didn't know that what he's done was the complete ruin of Stan. That he was the nightmare Filbrick also had trouble sleeping when he was a kid.

I believe Filbrick never hated his son, just frustrated. Caryn knows that. Why would he never wiped of '#1 Dad'? That pride and ultimate shame of being his father, no wonder he didn't attend his youngest son's funeral.

Anyway, back to Stan. After getting kicked out, he tried to put a brave face. He may be Caryn's son, but the man can only lie so much before crashing down. Everything Stan did was just to go back home. He took every shortcut he can, but he can't bring himself back at the porch empty handed. He loves his father way too much.

As years has gone by, he finds himself getting further and further away from the glass shard-ridden beach. The sounds of waterbirds are just as muffled as his judgement, and all Stan wants is to get things over with. From illegal work to downright immoral, somewhere along the lines Stan might've gave up. He allowed himself get drowned not by the sea of salt, but all of his problems. He never stood a chance; and giving up his name seems to be easier than staying alive. But no matter how many time he has betrayed himself, Stan just can't get rid of the heart he thought had died years ago. No matter how much he runs aways, the whole entirety of him just wants to stay. And his soul is stuck, anchored and haunted by the presence of a payphone.

No matter how many years has passed, there's a part of him that refused to grow up. As if he is saving it for the same boy he believes will welcome him back in open arms. Even after heart break after heartache, Stan still stands—and he's so, so tired.

When Stan got ahold of the postcard, his heart started bumping. Like he's been lifted from the depths of the watery deep, and he couldn't be any more thankful. No storm can stop him, no goons can scare him, it's just him and his second chance of together forever. But that didn't work out, and he realizes that Stan is indeed just a boy. Tried to burn his journal? What was he thinking? Maybe he did deserve everything, and another thing for not learning. What was wrong with him? And now he lost his brother again. His father was right, mistakes, no matter how accidental it may be, bears consequence, and he had become his brother's executioner.

A life a for a life. He threw everything away just to get him back. He was ready to betray himself once more. He'll stop running away, stop trying to go home, stop trying to find a spot for himself in other people's hearts. It's what killed him after all. But, life has a sense of humor to them, because it's now keeping him alive. For the first time, he hears a laugh and his heart melts. They like his jokes? Now that was something. It would've meant something, but his lifeline isn't his anymore.

Stan swore on his breath that everything he has been through will all be worth it if it meant saving the first person who was there for him. A life for a life, right?

You'd think that after forever had passed, they'll be too old for this. Turns out, all wounds are fresh if it came from the person you love the most, and Stan is reminded yet again that no matter how much of an accident a mistake is, consequence will follow. He didn't mean to endanger his family, but that doesn't matter anymore.

So yet again he has stripped, lied, and bore his heart. Yet again, another act of self-betrayal. And yet again, Stan tricks himself that this time, it will surely be worth it.

The heart wants what it doesn't have, and he'll gladly offer it to the world if it meant another chance for together forever. Stanley's love for people is what killed him. But it was also what brought him back to life.

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hey whats up guys @castielrisingabove's tags on this post absolutely obliterated me. so i drew them and now they get to obliterate you too. enjoy

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Yup, that's Ford's niece.

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it wasn't all bad, was it?

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another gravity falls animation! :3 hope yall enjoy!

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Alexa, play Like Him on repeat

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Gravity Falls Fic Recs

In honour of the 10th anniversary of Gravity Falls, here are my fic recs for this fandom! This is going to be a LONG post, because I will have things to say about each of these stories, so I’m putting it under a read more. Oh and feel free to add on to this list with other good Gravity Falls stories!

Keep reading

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Forgot to post this!!

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"Well, I can always count on you for a warm welcome."

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just some young Stan boxing

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When I think about the soft parts of the Stan twins’ personalities in canon and the way they’re buried in layers of toxic masculinity but in very distinct ways, it looks like Stan is more sensitive, while Ford is more sentimental; Stan is more outwardly aggressive, while Ford is straight up more violent.

Stan is definitely more easily brought to tears than Ford, as well as, in my opinion, more easily flustered. He cries about four times that we know in the show: at the funeral of the Stan statue, as he watches The Duchess Approves, when he temporarily wins the post of mayor of Gravity Falls, when he says goodbye to the children. In the Lost Legends comics, he also cries twice: first of sadness, then because he was touched by the little boy’s pick of his book. The interesting thing is that, in the story, Soos comments that he knew those sobs, implying that he heard Stan cry often enough for him to be able to recognize them immediately. And the funny thing is that Stan never, ever admits that he’s crying: he got glitter in his eyes, or campaign confetti, or was simply cutting onions, among other flimsy excuses. To me, Stan is the textbook example of that tumblr post: “I don’t care, I say, caringly, as I care deeply.” No one really buys his facade 😭

Ford, on the other hand, seems to be considerably more stoic. Dipper observes in Journal 3 that Ford finally cries when he loses Stanley, and that it was the first time any of them ever saw Ford crying—just the need to point that out, the fact that everyone was surprised, says a lot. In TBoB, Ford cries after Bill’s utterly terrifying tormet reaches a breaking point. We know he does because he tells us himself that he “wept,” and is not ashamed of it.

The way I see it, a lot of Stan’s macho man masculinity is performative, and exaggerated, as well as his confidence. Stan has a very low confidence, but he acts as if it’s the contrary. Meanwhile, Ford’s egotistical confidence is not faked, it comes from within—I feel like he is so much more secure in his badassery, in his talents and abilities, in his masculinity, that it makes him just act more natural and casual about it. Of course, Ford is insecure too, and has a low self-esteem even as he has high confidence, but his insecurity is rooted in guilt and the feeling of being an outcast, never about his own competence.

Don’t get me wrong, though. Ford’s toxic masculinity is quieter than Stan’s, and very different, but just as present. It’s not performative at all, but second nature to him. It’s mostly about repressing his feelings and being, quote unquote, “distant from himself.” Very highlighted in Dipper and Mabel Vs. The Future, when he tells Dipper to simply not feel fear as if it’s the simplest, easiest thing a human being could achieve, as if you could just turn off that switch in your brain and make a conscious decision to ignore those damn pesky emotions. More than that, he acts as if that’s the right, rational, desirable thing to do.

I think that a lot of fans pay far too much attention to Ford’s nerdy, quiet side and end up assuming he can easily be fit into the softer, more responsible stereotype of a nerd. That is, more of a prude, more easily flustered, the kind of man who would be genuinely bothered by Stan’s swearing. That is not what we see in canon at all. When JK Simmons (Ford’s VA) asked Alex how he should sound, he was told to act “loud and brash”; in Journal 3, Ford tells us that he wanted to give himself up to Bill just to curse him right to his face; he consistently doesn’t shy away from weird or freaky or illegal things, but is casually and shamelessly attracted to them. (Not that I don’t think Ford would nag Stan about swearing. Ford is hypocritical like that.)

Which brings us to the aggressive vs violent comparison I used. Stan acts tough and makes threats, alright, but Ford actually means them. Stan might attempt to punch someone; Ford’s trigger-happy hand goes straight to his gun. His bounty poster in the multiverse warns that he is “armed and dangerous.” I wouldn’t want either of the Stan twins as my enemies, but Ford is the one I’d dread to find in a dark alley, so to speak. Beneath the veener of superficial calm and control, lies the truth that he’s (way) scarier than Stan and willing to go even crazier lenghts to get what he wants, be it a selfish, ambitious desire or the safety of his family.

Still, Ford is sentimental—melancholic, brooding, prone to nostalgia, with a penchant for drama. The way he writes about people in his journal is often very reflective and thoughtful, calling Stan the most selfless man he had ever met in any dimension, or Bill as (formely) the sun in his galaxy. A poetic soul, lover of flowery language.

That makes me think about their interactions post-Weirdmaggedon. I can easily imagine Ford suddenly saying some intense truth about the depth of his feelings for Stan in his most earnest tone and Stan predictably trying to play it off as a joke and ruining the mood but evidently (not secretly at all) melting inside. Don’t start acting all mushy, bro, Mabel isn’t even here 🙄 (😳) (he’s almost crying again and Ford knows it)

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just thinking of how ford and stan were both being in denial; that they refuse to understand that the other has reached their lowest point.

stan never thought for a second that ford will be unsuccessful. accepting the sleepless broken crazy man in front of him is his genius brother ford would be accepting the fact that stan being disowned and homeless for a decade with no one to help him was all for nothing.

ford never believed that stan will not get by. seeing his sales ads on the television angered him; he was angry by the idea that the cost for stan’s success was his failure. he wanted his anger to be justified to the point he becomes blind to the hollow husk of a brother he has now.

when you stare at the abyss, the abyss stares back.