ask-doctor-doom

[ask-doctor-doom]

DOOM CONFESSES TO NO SUCH THING, YOU NOXIOUS BUFFOON!

[ask-doctor-doom]

AS I EXCEL AT ANYTHING I PUT MY MIND TO, IT SHOULD NOT SURPRISE YOU THAT I AM IN FACT A MASTER MUSICIAN! 

IN A STUNNING MEETING OF THE MINDS, WE HAVE BEEN KNOWN COLLABORATE OCCASIONALLY!

[ask-doctor-doom]

DOOM HAS FAR MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO CONTEMPLATE THAN THE CLODS OF SOME PUERILE SO-CALLED "BOY BAND", YOU FOOL! HOWEVER, DOOM WILL CONCEDE THAT CLEARLY THE ONE WITH THE MAJESTIC BROWS IS THE SUPERIOR MEMBER!

THOSE ARE THE EYEBROWS OF A FUTURE EMPEROR!

[ask-doctor-doom]

THERE IS DOOM ENOUGH FOR ALL!!

[ask-doctor-doom]

DOOM HAS GOOD NEWS FOR YOU, PEASANT!

[ask-doctor-doom]

IT IS THE CURSE OF THE TRULY AMBITIOUS TO STAND ALONE! DOOM IS TOO BUSY LEADING AN EMPIRE TO WASTE TIME ON SUCH FRIVOLITIES! SUCH SPARE TIME IS BETTER UTILIZED IN VANQUISHING ONE'S ENEMIES, LIKE THAT INSUFFERABLE REED RICHARDS!!

[ask-doctor-doom]

WHAT A LUDICROUS QUESTION! IT IS BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DOUBT THAT DOOM WOULD BEAT THOSE INFERNAL PARASITES INTO SUBMISSION! 

IF ANY OF THOSE LOWLY CREATURES THINK OF ATTACKING MY PERSON, THEY SHOULD KNOW: NOT ONLY DOES MY ARMOR CONTAIN SPLINTERS OF THE "TRUE CROSS", I HAVE STUDIED VAMPIRE DEFENSE AND LORE UNDER ONE OF DRACULA'S GREATEST ENEMIES!

YOU WALKING VIRUSES HAVE BEEN WARNED.

[ask-doctor-doom]

WHILE I HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO CUT LOOSE WITH SOMETHING CUTTING EDGE, I BELIEVE THAT ONE SHOULD NEVER MESS WITH A CLASSIC! TRUE ICONIC STYLE NEVER GOES OUT OF FASHION, PEASANT!! 

HOW COULD SOMEONE AS STYLE-IMPAIRED AS YOU UNDERSTAND A TRUE FASHION ICONOCLAST LIKE DOCTOR DOOM!

[ask-doctor-doom]

I am not following you but Tumblr has you on my dash automatically and that is gay.

I'm sorry you don't know how Tumblr works. That must be so rough, you homophobic shitheel :'(

[ask-doctor-doom]

DOOM IS OF THE OPINION THAT BUGS BUNNY WOULD BE THE CLEAR VICTOR! SUCH A FORMIDABLE OPPONENT IS NOT ONE TO BE UNDERESTIMATED! HE SHARES DEVIOUS TRAITS WITH A CERTAIN TRICKSTER, AND IS, TO USE THE INTERNET VERNACULAR, A "TROLL".

INDEED, IT WOULD BE MOST ADVANTAGEOUS TO FORM AN ALLIANCE WITH THIS BUGS BUNNY, SHOULD ONE ENCOUNTER A COMMON FOE!

[ask-doctor-doom]

BEGONE, RICHARDS. YOUR OBSESSION WITH MY PERSON IS PATHETIC.

[ask-doctor-doom]

HAVE YOU TAKEN LEAVE OF YOUR SENSES? HAVE YOU?! SILENCE!! HOW DARE YOU INSINUATE THAT DOOM COULD BE DEFEATED IN SUCH A MANNER! SPEAK NO MORE ABOUT THAT CHEAP FACSIMILE MASQUERADING AS MY ROYAL PERSON! ANY DOLT COULD SEE THAT HE WAS NOT THE TRUE DOOM!

UNIVERSES MAY BE MANY, BUT THERE IS ONLY ROOM FOR ONE DOOM! THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE TRUE DOCTOR DOOM! ONLY ONE!!

[ask-doctor-doom]

SILENCE, JACKANAPE! DOOM KNOWS NOTHING OF ANY MARRIAGE! YOU JEST AT THE EXPENSE OF YOUR LIFE!

YOU ARE NOW DISMISSED! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT! I MUST GO ATTEND TO A CERTAIN ALLIANCE!!

[ask-doctor-doom]

LOKI, THAT TRICKSTER GOD IS A USEFUL --ALBEIT UNTRUSTWORTHY ALLY, AND HE HOLDS THE KEY TO SOMETHING THAT DOOM DESIRES.

LOKI'S GENDER IS IRRELEVANT. LOKI REMAINS… LOKI.

[ask-doctor-doom]

ALAS, THE WORLD CANNOT POSSIBLY HANDLE DOCTOR DOOM'S LEVEL OF SEXINESS. IT MUST BE CONTAINED LIKE THE DANGEROUS WEAPON THAT IT IS.

[ask-doctor-doom]

DOCTOR DOOM IS HERE TO GRACE YOU WITH HIS PRESENCE! YOU MAY NOW REJOICE IN THE RETURN OF YOUR GREAT MONARCH!! I AM BUT HUMBLED BY YOUR THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE AND CELEBRATION! HOW EMPTY YOUR LIVES MUST HAVE BEEN WHILE I WAS OTHERWISE OCCUPIED WITH MANY IMPORTANT MACHINATIONS!

AS ALWAYS, DOOM WILL ANSWER YOUR PITIFUL QUESTIONS WHEN HE SEES FIT, NOT ACCORDING TO ANY ARBITRARY SCHEDULE! 

REMEMBER! THE FIRST PERSON WHO CEASES THEIR CELEBRATORY APPLAUSE WILL BE SHOT ON SIGHT!

[ask-doctor-doom]

YOU DARE?!