ask-pipper-peppercorn

[ask-pipper-peppercorn]

Who took this picture of me?!

Chibi commission for @nightwingthedragoness of their Cuphead OC Pipper. Thank you so much 💗 Want a commission like this? You can get one over on my KoFi!

[ask-pipper-peppercorn]

don't be insecure you'd be a very handsome dog

“…..well….I suppose when you put it that way. That does make me feel better. Maybe I am a handsome dog.”

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“First the corn. Now you are all calling me a PEN! I look nothing LIKE THAT!” *he angrily grabs a notebook and pen and starts scribbling away.*

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any juicy gossip going on in the isles?

“yes actually. I hear that Saltbaker went to jail for trying to make some ‘wonder tart.’ What a moron. No amount of magical treats will ever make me give him a good review.”

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you look like this guy

“What on earth is THAT….that doesn’t look……ok well….” *he walked over to a mirror.* …..ok maybe it does

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“No one ever call me a corn on the cob EVER AGAIN!”

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You look like that corn guy.

*he blinked visibly confused* “Well there are several living vegetables here within the Inkwell Isles. But….I beg your pardon? I’m not familiar with who you speak of. I do not look like a yellow grain.”

[ask-pipper-peppercorn]

Are youyu a fffaaaggot

“Are you a moron? Of course I’m not a cigarette. And no, I’m not meatballs with offals either. Such an awful dish. I’m more of a….a beef Wellington!”

[ask-pipper-peppercorn]

These are a staple from the modern era and are also really fucking spicy . Are you lying . If you're not I'm sure you'll be fine

*he picked it up eyeing this bag as though it would bite him * “why is it….so blue?” *he took one chip out the bag and gave it a single tiny bite.* “oh. This is actually quite….*he starts coughing and dry heaving and proceeds to writhe on the floor in agony*

[ask-pipper-peppercorn]

Can you handle spice like at all king

“Yes!” (No)

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Ironic that you're a brit and hate so many staples of your... "culture"

“Why do you think I became a food critic? I’ve had the worst there is to offer. Anything else is better than…jellied eels.” *he shudders.*

[ask-pipper-peppercorn]

Is there any sort of alcohol you particularly like?

“Hmmm….yes I’m partial to a lovely chardonnay. I also enjoy some good rum. I can never say no to either!”

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Least favourite food?

“Oh good lord where do I begin? Well for starts, most dishes from my country are….atrocious. Ever heard of jellied eels? Consider yourself lucky if you havent. Beans. Oh. I hate beans. Spicy food. Oh please. That’s a no go. The list goes on really

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You know. Its been pleasantly quiet. I’m quite enjoying this peace! I can study now!

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I know you are a food critic but have you had any good drinks at the restaurants you have reviewed?

“Good drinks? Yes actually. I do dabble in alcohol from time to time.” *he turned quiet, looking lost in thought.* It’s much easier to get a good drink than good food.”

[ask-pipper-peppercorn]

[ask-pipper-peppercorn]

Which burger has impressed you?

What's your opinion on those mega-stack burgers?

“I don’t know what a….mega stack is and I don’t think I’d want to. Burgers aren’t meant to be bigger and more, food is both an art and a necessity. Try to make it some weird gimmick and you lose what makes it have purpose. Food is meant to feed not gawk at from its absurdity. But I can tell you what I prefer. A nice toasted brioche bun, medium rare beef, sliced white cheddar, crisp lettuce, alongside my condiments and wallah! Keep it simple. Ah, only few places have gotten it just right. That’s my order anyways. In fact I can rather go for one right now.”