astolenchariot

[astolenchariot]

Oh-- I’ve been on hiatus for 2 years... 

Alright, time for this blog to get a revamp. /cracks knuckles

[astolenchariot]

Who will die on the titanic?

Aries- no Taurus- no Gemini- no Cancer- no Virgo- no Libra- no Scorpio- no Sagittarius- no Leo- yes Capricorn- no Aquarius- no Pisces- no

[astolenchariot]

to be honest i aM JUST SO TIRED. IM TIRED OF REACHING OUT TO SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T EVEN WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE PROBLEM. SOMEONE WHO CAN'T EVEN CONFIRM IF THERE IS AN ACTUAL PROBLEM.

PAGOD NA KO

[astolenchariot]

THIS GOES TO ALL AMAZON CUSTOMERS WHO DEGRADE US, CUSTOMER SERVICE REPRESENTATIVES.

People look down on McDonald’s employees but fail to realize that if all these folks left McDonald’s and pursued “better careers”  your ass wouldn’t be able to get a McDouble with an Oreo McFlurry at 3am. 

You can’t demand a service while simultaneously degrading those who provide it for you. 

[astolenchariot]

[astolenchariot]

A lot of moments just don't appeal too much for you to remember, but some of them, as soon as they happen, are there to stay inside your head. It is bound to infest your mind; to mess with you for the rest of your life.

It was 6 that night. It was warmer than it usually was, but a shiver still managed to run up my spine as I felt a strong pair of arms wrap around my chest. They squeezed me, letting me know that whoever owns them had no plans of letting me go--not anytime soon, at the very least--before eventually bringing me back to the dark alley a few meters away from where I came from.

Then the rest, as they say, is history.

It was already 11 that same night. It was still warm, but the ground I was walking on felt damp against my bare feet--the small stones stabbing the skin and sending dull pain. It was already dark and I kept walking, with no clear path to follow. Then I finally let myself cry, partly because I really wanted to, but mostly because I was hoping that the tears would wash away the feeling of the man's lips all over my face.

I told some people about it, and all they told me was that I should be grateful to be given a second chance in life. And I simply agreed. What else was there to do? I just had to let it go and be thankful for that god damned man for at least keeping me alive.

He kept me alive, but every time I remember his tongue darting my mouth, how his hands slithered all over my bare skin, and how he moved his way in and out of my soul, I just wish he didn't.

[astolenchariot]

It has been a few hours now and the untouched cup of jasmine tea is starting to cool down, sitting on the table by the window of our favorite coffee shop. It's not that I don't want to, but I just can't get myself to drink it.

I'm scared that even a single drop of the warm fluid that you used to love will bring back a lot of memories of you. I am afraid that a sip from the cup will remind me of all the times that we sat here--on this exact, same table--and how we spent the whole boring afternoon talking about how we hated everyone else except each other. I don't want to remember your lips that always tasted like a combination of nicotine and jasmine, and how it lingered on mine every time we kissed. I am scared that this will remind me how pungent and strong our relationship used to be and how it suddenly turned vapid and cold, just like this cup of tea. I am afraid because once I down this on my throat, after letting it savage my mouth with its intoxicating flavor, it will suddenly disappear--exactly the way you did.

I want to forget all these things, I want to throw them at the back of my mind so they won't come back to haunt me. I want to stop thinking about them--about you, But now, I just realized that it is impossible.

After all, how can you even forget someone who left you with so much to remember?

[astolenchariot]

"Basically, I’m throwing out the question ‘When is such violence justified?’ To get that question to touch the audience physically and directly - that’s what my goal is. In the experience of watching my film, I don’t want the viewer to stop at the mental or the intellectual. I want them to feel my work physically. And because that is one of my goals, the title ‘exploitative’ will probably follow me around for a while." - Park Chan-Wook

[astolenchariot]

I’ll be giving away 5 Diancies. Click here for Diancie’s stats and information.

Rules: 1. Must be following me. 2. Only reblogs count. 3. No giveaway blogs. 4. Must respond to my message within 24 hours. 5. Must have XY. I’m NOT going to wait till you get ORAS. I’ll end the giveaway around July 31st. I’ll edit this post once it’s over. If you have any questions, send me an ask. I will however, not respond to anonymous asks regarding giveaways. Please keep this in mind.

[astolenchariot]

I’m pregnant, you said and instead of staying, he didn't.

You wondered why veins can feel like sinkholes sometimes. You’re sitting inside a bathroom, holding your sixteen-year old body like a rag doll about to be buried in a shoe box and this thought comes to mind like a rerun of childhood night terrors. It’s been an hour and a half and you wished you could just peel your skin off as though it were sunburns rather than flesh. Everything feels scary, even the voice of your mother asking you to get the door open.

You have bruises deeper than paper cuts, your’e half-breathing through your mouth, wondering if you can still do the same for the next six months, without creating a typhoon inside your belly. Listen to the voice of your mother and take a second to realize that she is half-breathing for you too. 

What’s inside you is not a tourist, nor a lost human being asking for directions because she has too many maps. Maybe you feel like your the one stuck in a middle of dark forest, but your body is a home for now and that baby? That baby is waiting for you to treat it as the same. Like your mom did, like every other mother should. He left, but think of this, he will never be able to look at the world and say “Well…she’s got my eyes.”

[astolenchariot]

Brace yourselves, i'll be joining a giveaway ;;

[astolenchariot]

it's been two months now (or maybe three? or four? i can't even remember) and I'm still on a hiatus. /shrugs/ The writer's block is long gone, though, I just can't get myself to post the things that I am writing these past couple of weeks. I'm afraid that they're not worthy of being posted. My self-esteem had crashed down. Haha.;;

I used to be the cockiest (I think) among my friends.

Me: "Oh, I'll do that!"

Me: "I can do that, ofc, duh"

Me: "I'm good at this"

Me: "Let me fix this"

Lmfao pero ngayon iiyak na lang siguro ako.

Okay. Bear with me, guys. I'll try to sort things out as soon as possible. :-)

[astolenchariot]

just a quick update abt my life and all that (as if anyone cares)

so yeah. my father just died last saturday and now im still bangag and all that. and really really full bc ive been stress eating since thurdsday. been living the rp (roleplaying pmsl, kepap thing, even if i am not a kepap fan. just rp-ing for the heck of it.) life for a week, i guess.

so yeah which means the hiatus thing will still go on til i cope up and get all my senses back.

kbye

[astolenchariot]

damn its been awhile since i last wrote lyk dat lol. u know, not caring abt wat my friends would think and all. writing wat i currently am feeling and not caring abt wat they'll say lol. gahd i missed this.

[astolenchariot]

i. Your friend took a candid photo of you: lips parted farther than it should have been, eyes squinted, and your hair was all over the place. And somehow, it showed sadness.

ii. You thought it was "too candid" so you asked your friend to delete it. But she didn't. And God, I'm glad she didn't. 

iii. Why would you even want to delete it? Why would you want your friend to delete the only picture that showed your weaknesses? Your vulnerability? The only photo that showed who you were, who you really are?

iv. Because the filters of your recent selfies are hiding them all up. You cover your sadness by pouting your lips and by flashing your widest smile. You always showed strength and dominance through your photos. They all showed perfection.

v. Far from the girl I met two years ago. The girl who was insecure of her crooked teeth, of her curly hair, and her dark skin. The girl whose weaknesses asked and pleaded and begged me to accept them. And I did. And I missed them. I still do, to be quite honest.

vi. After a few days, you finally convinced your friend to delete it. And now, your back to being the girl who never needed help from anyone. You're back to being the girl who's to perfect for anyone. Especially for me.

vii. And now I'm back to the being the guy who waits. The guy who still waits for 11:11 to make a wish: that someday, you would return to me, and you will never leave. Not again. Not ever.

[astolenchariot]

How do you know that it was love if it didn't last? 

[astolenchariot]

Everything was going fine until someone asked me how I was.