astralwings-secret

[astralwings-secret]

hi again been a bit... uhhh why'd I wanna make this again? oh right talking about random shit. I do wanna get back into some things I left off with some friends of mine, but due to being me and it being a very hard existence things didnt go as planned and I kinda dropped it and lost interest.... which really sucks cause I have so many ideas for where I wanted to take my story ( working on a kirby au of sorts havent sorted out through the entire thing cause my brain doesnt wanna work with me :/ ) that I wanted to actually bring into existence instead of it all just being in my head or a rough draft. maybe I can push myself into gaining interest again by actually working on it again. what I had orginally thought up is no longer what I wanna go with so new things are hard to come up with. off topic from that I have so many fucking games I need to get back to and the game list keeps getting bigger and bigger its gonna drown me at some point :( whyyyyy do I keep doing this to myself.... doom I'm dooming myself this is what I'm doing. and cause I'm me I'm def gonna be forgetting that I made this post in the first place! dont you love being this mess of a person? isnt this FUN?!

[astralwings-secret]

I'm kinda just not been feeling that great my episode just keeps getting worse and worse and idk what to do to make myself feel better. feels like no one really likes me as a person just feeling really bad and lonely…. I have a vacation coming up hopefully things will get better. also memory’s still been getting worse not a good sign.

[astralwings-secret]

hi again…. things got slightly worse than they have been! thats not fun!!! havent been online in a while kinda self sabotaging and self isolating by accident cause I feel bad rn. I try not to do that, per advice of — whose been helping me out since I came to them, but its hard to remember not to when memory is not reliable and coping mechanisms are not the greatest. I'm trying to be better its just hard to be kinder to myself cause everyone in my life has hurt me. I looked over my past posts and I never got back to those games I said I was going to go back to I probably will go do that later today actually I dont have much to do today. idk how people do these posts things feels like I'm just standing in the void where no one can reach me….

[astralwings-secret]

random bs go! idk what I'm doing with my life rn

uhhhh memory hasn't been getting better, thought I was progressing with that gonna have to talk about that later w/ -- I've been kinda just not really living things been feeling like a fog or something. I should do something fun to try and connect better... I wanna continue with some games I left un 100%'ed I'll try and do that if I can get some free time things been busy :c

[astralwings-secret]

I feel a little better today or at least about as good as I'm gonna get. haven't been doing good in a really long time. I really wanna continue with some games I started playing and then life got worse and I just stopped playing them... :c god I hate my life so much... I'm so bored

[astralwings-secret]

I'm so tired today… I need to figure what the hell is happening I dont wanna keep feeling like this. feels like my depressive episode is getting worse :/

[astralwings-secret]

Intro post?

I made this account for fun maybe? fun as in I just wanted to fuck around and vent a little into the void under an account that's not much connected to my other ones idrk. dont have much of an online presence really wanted to see how this will play / work out. even tho I already have an account on here that I use personally to gush about things cause I can't help it probs not gonna use this that much.... probably cause I'll forget this exists, anyways comma!

info about me:

💫 ✨ | Astral | ✨💫

either call me Astral or K! | they/them | trans non-binary agender xeno / otherkin / alterhuman aroace | adult, taken

referring terms: masc / neutral, human / person

proff Dx’ed w/ D.I.D. ( adult dx'es ) in recovery since 2018, dx’ed also w/ MDD, ASD & ADHD ( childhood dx'es ) [ not recovered ]

( I'm only saying this cause one of my parts may leak that info out by accident, dont know better dont have a consensus with privacy atm, and I would rather just say it now instead of worrying about it being outed later idrc if you think I'm faking or not I've been dx’ed for over 6 years now idc what rando’s on the internet think about me tbh )

❌ ❌ Other Info Never Disclosed ❌ ❌

DNI: Minors, NSFW shit, Queerphobes, Racists, Ableist, Pedo’s / Zoo’s, Proship / Anti’s discourse

Mspec “Lesbians” / “Gays”, Male “Lesbians” Queer ID’s based off people, Rad Inclusive, Transmed, BaB ( + all other queer exclus )

Any "System’s" ( No Matter What "Type", I dont want to see you fuckers fuck off with your “plural community” all of you are fucking bullshit ), “Endogenic System’s”, / “Mixed Origins System” / Tulpa, Pro “Endogenic” / Pro Non Traumagenic “Systems” Whatever Fucking “System Origin” You Fuckers Keep Coming Up w/

“Medically Recognized System” / “Dx”, Self Dx’ers, Pro Self Dx, “M.U.D.” / “M.U.I.”, ( Medically Unrecognized Disorders / Illnesses )

Anything on Pluralpedia! Any Discourse!

I dont wanna see it or you I will block you on sight. I dont care, i am not your friend I don’t want to be your friend leave me alone and out of this shit.

—

specific info about me:

interests / dislikes / triggers private fuck off idc I'm not trying to make friends here

I hyperfixate on a lot of things due to both having asd and adhd and it effects my life way too much it’s annoying af I actually fucking hate it… having both is a fucking mess istfg, also chronic depression that’s so cool who doesnt love that? been dealing with that one for years and it sucks it really sucks I dont wanna keep feeling this awful my entire life, but its not gonna stop for me i think atp.

having D.I.D. isnt something I am ever gonna get into specifically, cause why the fuck would I? why do people have the need to tell others about their extensive personal med hx "oh you have to know all about my / our "system" and everyone apart of it! and every single disorder I / we self dx'es myself / ourselves with too!" ( just had to put the “plural pronouns” cause that's how these people talk ik I've had personal experience with these kinda people ). do these people not understand anything about internet safety omfg do you not listen to yourself at all? you’re not going to know anything regarding my med hx that I havent already given you cause to be honest I dont trust any one of you with me and my fragmented self and you don't really need to know. my parts are not something I talk to anyone about online or irl really. my trauma also isnt something I am ever gonna talk about honestly me even typing all of this out is insane to me what is wrong with me….

credit: banner @/Suyasuyabi427 pfp @/muku_69.0

[astralwings-secret]

I hate when I get a new hyperfixation / interest and its such a new or niche thing that there isnt a lot of stuff for me to fixate on… its agony waiting for new food :c

[astralwings-secret]

First Post ig?

idk why I made this... got pushed into this ig? idk what I would post on this account anyways that I can't do on my other ones... I barely even use these platforms anyways... thought this would be a fun idea to explore ig... I mean it's more likely that I'm the only one who's gonna use this account anyways. other astrals dont like having an online presence and I'm not letting them on here either ( I use that name to talk about all of my parts under a single identity instead of separating me and them, sometimes I still slip into other speak working on that ) ig I'll make an intro post or something after this? if I remember to do that... I'll probably just be rb'ing random shit or talking about random things if I remember this exists.