astudass

[astudass]

- Ram Dass

[astudass]

The dance of life, the play of existence, has always been a source of wonder and confusion. Upon first tasting the nectar of truth, I found myself asking, 'What are the rules of this game?' The scriptures whispered one thing, my mind screamed another, amplifying its voice with each passing moment. The simple pleasures of video games and movies became a source of guilt. 'This is not in alignment with the Divine,' I thought.

The spiritual guides I revered echoed the same sentiment, 'All actions must be in service of the Divine.' I discovered a sense of delight in horror films and other pursuits not typically associated with sanctity. Yet, I found myself pondering, ‘Is it permissible for me to continue indulging in these pleasures?. Am I acting out of selfishness?' These questions haunted me, for my heart yearned to merge with Krishna, Jesus, God, the singular reality. I sought 'enlightenment,' not for the sake of enlightenment itself, but as an escape from the clutches of anxiety and stress.

In the dance of existence, I found myself soaring on the wings of spirit, untouched and untouchable. 'I have arrived,' I whispered to the wind. But the universe, in its infinite wisdom, had another lesson for me. A seemingly insignificant event, dwarfed by past traumas, became the catalyst for my unraveling. I had believed myself invincible, shielded by divine grace, yet here I was, brought low by life's capricious nature.

I found myself confined to the bed, a prisoner of my own despair. Food lost its taste, sleep eluded me, and I was consumed by a loathing for everything. I raged against existence, against the spiritual path I had chosen. The platitudes of my fellowship rang hollow in my ears. 'Keep doing the next right thing.' 'God's will.' 'It'll be okay.' 'This too shall pass.' Empty words, devoid of comfort.

Prayer became a bitter pill, each word a cry into the void. Doubt crept in, whispering insidious questions. Was it all a lie? Had I been lost in a delusion? What of the experiences I had, the messages I received?

Unbeknownst to me, I was in the throes of rebirth. As I neared the end of my ordeal, a realization dawned. I was free. Not the ecstatic liberation I had envisioned, but a quiet, profound peace. The world, in all its chaotic glory, was exactly as it should be. As i did keep the faith of a higher power in my heart even when it felt bittersweet at the time.

This experience shattered me, but in the best possible way. I saw the illusion of separation for what it was and found unity in its place. I understood that nothing was a mistake, that everything was unfolding in divine order. Even the events we perceive as horrific are simply Karma (action) playing out as it should.

So, I let go. I followed the call of my heart, free from the constraints of right and wrong. There was nothing to do, no rules to follow. Just be present, and experience. This is not a call to anarchy, but a reminder to listen to our heart-mind over our ego-mind. The heart knows the way. Follow it, and resistance to life will melt away.

The point is, when you're in the midst of an anxiety episode or even if you're a person with chronic anxiety (as I was), you just need to keep faith while in the throes of the storm. Something better is going to come, or something will return, and you will have a better sense to deal with it, more tools to handle it, or just the new ability to cope. A lot of us were never taught how to navigate such feelings, and that's okay. The good news is that it's something that can be learned at any time. You're not alone.

My grandmother died of an aneurysm while babysitting my brother and me when I was one year old, and my brother was two. I remember the whole incident like it was yesterday, even though I am now thirty five. This began my depression at an early age, and the fear of death loomed over me for a my whole life. I even recall being 6 years old in the back seat of a car while my mother and my other grandmother were in the front seat. I just started weeping uncontrollably, and when they asked what was wrong, I told them I didn't want to die one day. This initiated my pondering on life, its meaning, its reasoning, and the truth.

Depression and anxiety were a big part of my life, as normal as an arm or a leg. I've never known anything different. I thought it would be a burden on my life until the day I died. I was searching for a way out ever since then, a code to break the cycle and end up somewhere eternal. Finding drugs and alcohol to escape for mere moments was the avenue I often took to ease the worry, until even that stopped working. Even to the point where I did want it all to just end because "What's the point?" or "Who would care?".

I then found Alcoholics Anonymous, which led me to God, which led me to liberation. That doesn't have to be your route, but I needed structure, a simple and logical guide on how to find and feel something bigger. It did indeed work. Through the program, I found God, I discovered the truth of unity and spirit. I learned to have clarity through breathwork, mindfulness, and meditation, enabling me to see all the messages happening around me, pointing me in the right direction. I learned to listen to my heart-mind and not my ego-mind. As I followed the path, revelation after revelation kept coming. I learned to let go and detach from the material world, to be in it and not simultaneously.

Right before I started on my path, I kept asking God (which, at the time, I was leaning towards not existing) to show me a sign of anything at all. Although it seemed like my prayers were not answered, I am here to tell you now that all of my prayers have been fulfilled. My relationship with God couldn't be closer because this manifestation is only a mirror of one consciousness. So keep praying or just talk to God/universe/higher self as you would a friend, it doesn't mind.

Love you all, and if you feel like there's no option but to check out or even struggle with anxiety and just need someone to talk to but don't have anyone, please feel free to reach out. I don't mind at all; in fact, it is my purpose in life. If you don't feel comfortable with that, then find someone you are comfortable with and talk to them. It's your life to do as planned, but don't give up without talking to someone. You may find your purpose in life. Yes this pain may be the catalyst to change in the world.

Love you and God bless – Astu Dass🌟✨

Suicide Hotlines in The United States

Crisis Text Line Text HOME to 741741

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255

Trans Lifeline 1-877-565-8860 (for the transgender community)

TrevorLifeline 1-866-488-7386 (for LGBTQ youth)

Veterans Crisis Line 1-800-273-8255, Press 1

[astudass]

[astudass]

Life—the grand tapestry of existence—unfolds before us, guided not by rigid rules but by our decisions. In this intricate dance, there is no inherent good or bad; only choices. We stand at crossroads, where we can either weave a life filled with love, kindness, and spiritual richness or tread a path of hate, violence, and spiritual bankruptcy. The paradox lies in the fact that while none of this truly matters in the cosmic sense, it becomes everything during our fleeting time in this earthly realm.

Surrendering to the Universe

Imagine surrendering to the universe or the divine path. In that surrender, nothing can shatter you—neither emotionally, physically, nor mentally. It becomes your reality. You transcend the mundane, becoming a vessel for cosmic energies. Resentment and hate lose their grip, replaced by a serene acceptance. You are no longer a mere mortal; you are a conduit for the divine.

The Metaphysical Awakening

I once scoffed at metaphysical concepts—manifestation, synchronicity, and cosmic alignment. But then, during my dark night of the soul, I glimpsed their truth. Sober and deeply depressed, I recalled the well-meaning advice of others. They assured me that life would improve without certain burdens. Yet, it was when I released their expectations—when I let go of their definitions of right and wrong—that I truly surrendered.

In that moment, I felt my connection to the divine. I realized that I was but a passenger in this human vessel, hurtling through the choose-your-own-adventure game of life. Life happens, unrelenting. Our human brains deceive us, whispering that we’ll never slip and fall again if we’re cautious. But we do. We stumble, we hurt, and we learn.

Mastering the Ego

The key lies in mastering the ego. It need not be our master; instead, it can serve us. When our divine self steers the wheel, the ego becomes a tool—a means to navigate this earthly plane. We play our roles, fully immersed in the symphony of existence. The falls and rises, the crescendos and diminuendos—they all coalesce into something beautiful, something uniquely ours.

Manifesting Our True Selves

And so, I began to manifest. I believed in the life I desired, and slowly, my mind rewired itself. The true self emerged—the self meant to be, the self that transcends labels and limitations. In this chaotic reality, I found purpose. Each choice, each surrender, became a brushstroke on the canvas of my existence.

Remember this: There are no rules, only decisions. Choose wisely, surrender fully, and let the symphony play on.

The Dance of Time and Infinity

Beyond the veil of our mortal perceptions lies the dance of time and infinity. We measure our days in sunrises and sunsets, yet the cosmos laughs at our linear constructs. Eternity swirls around us, whispering secrets to those who dare listen. The past, present, and future waltz together, their steps intricate and interwoven.

In moments of stillness, we glimpse eternity. Perhaps it’s the dew-kissed morning grass, the laughter of a child, or the touch of a loved one. These fragments of infinity remind us that we are both stardust and storytellers. Our lives—the brief flicker of a cosmic candle—are chapters in a boundless saga.

The Alchemy of Emotions

Emotions—the alchemical elixirs of existence—transform us. Love transmutes leaden hearts into gold. Kindness, like a philosopher’s stone, transfigures pain into compassion. Anger, when harnessed, fuels change. And grief? Grief is the crucible where souls are tempered, where loss becomes wisdom.

The Unseen Threads

Beneath the surface, unseen threads connect us all. Call them fate, serendipity, or quantum entanglement—they weave our stories. A chance encounter on a crowded street, a shared smile across a room, a missed train that alters destinies. These threads tug at our hearts, urging us toward connection.

The Symphony of Imperfections

Listen closely to life’s symphony. It’s not a flawless concerto; it’s a cacophony of imperfections. The off-key notes, the dissonant chords—they matter. They give depth to the melody. Our scars, too, are part of this composition. They sing of resilience, of healing, of battles fought and won.

Remember this: There are no rules, only decisions. Choose wisely, surrender fully, and let the symphony play on.

If anything just understand this simple truth. You are divine! Be easy on yourselves and don’t take yourselves too seriously.

– Astu Dass🌟✨

[astudass]

The world, as I perceive it now, aligns perfectly with its intended design. Everything rests in its rightful place, orchestrated by the cosmic symphony. Yet, it is the human mind—the wild, untamed animal within—that casts a veil of chaos and anxiety upon this intricate tapestry.

Emotions and feelings persist, but my perspective has shifted. No longer do they hold dominion over me. Instead, I find solace in a simple mantra: “It’s all okay.” These words, when spoken or contemplated, serve as a gentle reminder—a comforting whisper—that everything unfolds as it should. Balanced, harmonious, and part of a grand cosmic joke.

Life unfolds in a series of moments—some gentle, others jarring. Yet, through it all, there exists a quiet mantra: “It’s all okay.” This simple phrase, whispered to ourselves, holds profound wisdom.

Stubbed your toe? It’s all okay. The pain subsides, and you continue your journey.

Received an unexpectedly high bill in the mail? It’s all okay. Numbers on paper don’t define your worth.

Navigating a heartbreak? It’s all okay. Love’s ebb and flow shape us.

Car broken down on a deserted road? It’s all okay. Perhaps this pause holds hidden purpose.

Even in the gravest moments—like a loved one’s final days—“It’s all okay.” Not because suffering vanishes, but because we glimpse a cosmic truth. Beneath the waves of emotion, an inner knowing emerges: This is part of the grand design.

Life, simultaneously meaningful and inconsequential, dances on the edge of existence. Once, this paradox would have haunted my nights, but now it brings tranquility. I’ve surrendered to the divine plan, trusting that it will unfold regardless of my worries. So, with a cosmic grin, I embrace the mystery and say, “It’s all okay.”

Being spiritual entities in animal bodies, the main principles we must remember are:

Honesty

Hope

Surrender

Courage

Integrity

Willingness

Humility

Love

Responsibility

Discipline

Awareness

Service

Studying various religions and practices always leads me back to these fundamental truths. They echo the wisdom imparted by parents, kindergarten teachers, and institutions. As though creation planted all these hints along the way, unfortunately, when we try to take control, we often miss the subtle cues. The road to understanding may be complex, but in hindsight, it’s a straightforward journey from point A to B—a path that was there all along.

May the cosmic giggle continue to weave its magic through your days. For those interested in more please come back next time! I will start updating this blog once a week. Thanks for stopping by.

– Astu Dass🌟✨