at-first-i-thought-it-was-a-blog

[at-first-i-thought-it-was-a-blog]

WATCH WHAT HAPPENS NEXT // WATERPARKS

[at-first-i-thought-it-was-a-blog]

Do it so when you see him again, he feels the sharp twist of regret and shame from losing you. He’ll see your dainty limbs, the sharp contours in your face and your big eyes that look flawless without makeup. He’ll wonder what he did to make you leave, and see the physical proof that he was just holding you back.

[at-first-i-thought-it-was-a-blog]

please send meanspo

it would appreciate it :))

[at-first-i-thought-it-was-a-blog]

So

I work 6 hours tonight maybe I can fast from now (1:50pm) until 11 which is when I’m done work and I don’t eat when I get home so if I just fast until I wake up and have a peach maybe.. this might work

[at-first-i-thought-it-was-a-blog]

Alright here’s the thing...

There’s this really hot hockey guy that looks like someone out of twilight like he even has the same smile/laugh as Edward... freaky I know but I noticed him looking at me a lot at a game and I think the only thing holding him back was my weight so guess who’s gonna starve until he talks to me.

[at-first-i-thought-it-was-a-blog]

Lavender Bones // Stand Atlantic

[at-first-i-thought-it-was-a-blog]

It’s Not Living (If It’s Not With You) - The 1975

[at-first-i-thought-it-was-a-blog]

might fuck around and be your quiet afternoon crush, be your violent overnight rush, make you crazy over my touch 

[at-first-i-thought-it-was-a-blog]

robbers // the 1975

[at-first-i-thought-it-was-a-blog]

It does actually like scientifically it does

[at-first-i-thought-it-was-a-blog]

My birthday was a week ish ago and I’m surprised I made it to 18.

I started a downward spiral during grade 6. I cut myself and starved myself. It was the beginning of me being unhappy and at that point I didn’t know why.

Grade 7 got worse at school I would laugh in class but I’d go to the bathroom and give myself eraser burns. This year I wanted to die. This is when I found PTV I made a promise to myself to see them live and I couldn’t die until I did.

Grade 8 I moved towns before I moved I tried to overdose on painkillers. It didn’t work.

Grade 9 still starving myself and still cutting myself. I moved to a small town and non of the kids really became my friends. They were too close and not willing to let new people in so I thought it was something wrong with me.

Grade 10 I saw pierce the veil live and then I got home I was scared because I was really about to kill myself so I had to meet them.

Grade 11 I got my first tattoo with hold on till May on it and I met them. They were so sweet. I stopped self harming and I realized as long as I had a plan for my future and things to look forward to, I would be okay.

Grade 12 I moved back to my home town and finished high school. I made so many good friends and people that actually want to be around me.

I guess this is proof that it gets better but I never thought I’d get here. My depression and anxiety is worse but the people I have around me make it easier.

[at-first-i-thought-it-was-a-blog]

[at-first-i-thought-it-was-a-blog]

She hated herself so much, that when someone truly loved her she thought it was a lie

[at-first-i-thought-it-was-a-blog]

*collapses on my king sized canopy bed with lavender satin sheets and goose down pillows in a baby pink silk robe holding an empty (but once full) swarovski crystal wine glass, throwing a maincured hand loosely over my eyes* im in love

[at-first-i-thought-it-was-a-blog]

I’m so fucking high and I feel fucking amazing😻

[at-first-i-thought-it-was-a-blog]

true love is having a crush on him even after he got a haircut

[at-first-i-thought-it-was-a-blog]

Very Helpful Ed Tips🌷