automaticsharkkitten

[automaticsharkkitten]

Going on a first date for the first time in like a year, hoping I don't get ax murdered

[automaticsharkkitten]

“tHis idEa iS a WoRk”

is that REALLY the end of your sentence??

Bad idea for a Romantic Comedy The Chief of Police is married to a Mob Boss, and they have to keep “just failing” to catch each other. When one of them hits the other in a shootout, it’s followed with “Oh I’m never going to hear the end of this…”

“So how was your day at work?” “YOU FUCKING SHOT ME! THAT WAS MY DAY AT WORK!”

[automaticsharkkitten]

>:3

Reblog to give the person you reblogged this from a Croissant (🥐).

[automaticsharkkitten]

Go to Ontario and find the child obviously

[automaticsharkkitten]

Yes, it is in fact the cutest thing I have ever seen.

Gimmy *grabby hands*

I had a dream I was in a shitty run down shopping center full of really dodgy stalls selling obvious knock off bootleg products like unlicensed nes games and weird fake action figures and in one corner of the building there was a pet shop selling "new animals that were just invented" and they had just released a new animal called a "shrewmonkey" and everyone who saw it immediately thought it was the cutest thing they'd ever seen and desperately wanted to buy one. it was about the size of a rat and looked like this

[automaticsharkkitten]

Live your dreems for only $1.99!!

My mom bit off the top of a crucifix.

[automaticsharkkitten]

Goblin crimes 11, using the toaster sideways to reheat pizza

[automaticsharkkitten]

[automaticsharkkitten]

The uber signal

[automaticsharkkitten]

I think he was already a God, just in duck form. Seems like a very Oden thing to do after all.

[automaticsharkkitten]

Goblin crime 22 Doah-Ba-fett

[automaticsharkkitten]

Goblin crime bomber 3, Arson.

🔥🔥🔥

[automaticsharkkitten]

Goblin crimes #17 cutting a loaf of bread with a chef's knife 🥖🔪

[automaticsharkkitten]

Goblin crime #1 painting your nails with house paint 💅

[automaticsharkkitten]

is this your card?

[automaticsharkkitten]

Omg yes

An exploration into the very strange world of Eevee pokedex entries!

[automaticsharkkitten]

Yeah-

“I don’t want to die, I just don’t want to exist any more” sounds mild if you’ve never experienced it, but it is in fact a horrible, violent way to feel.