avpdculture

[avpdculture]

avpd culture is being jealous of people talking on the phone

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[avpdculture]

Avpd culture is a bunch of people with avpd that want close friendship, understand the avpd struggle and are still ships passing in the night

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[avpdculture]

Avpd culture is randomly remembering telling a random person something about yourself and. Dying inside from panic

-🖤💫🔪

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[avpdculture]

avpd + flexible work hours culture is getting really stressed about when the "right" time to show up to work is and then ending up working only when very few people are there

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[avpdculture]

AvPD (+ NPD) culture is running a discord server, literally being the owner, the TOP MAN so to say, but still desperately needing affirmation from the other staff before I do anything because of something I do is bad or not received well I will die,, it is also getting extremely upset when they don't answer my questions in time and assuming they all hate me and are ignoring me on purpose

- sacrificial fawn

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[avpdculture]

avpd culture is seeing post after post like "life is so much easier when you stop giving a crap what people think" and just

well wouldnt that be nice too bad i am clinically bound to how im perceived.

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[avpdculture]

AvPD + HPD culture is immovable object vs unstoppable force. and i am trapped in the middle and so fucking tired🫩🫩🫩🫩

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[avpdculture]

Avpd culture is having that depressing realisation that you actually need relationships and friendships in life to feel fulfilled more than others. But as much as you want it you just know you won’t ever fit in so you’re just bored and tired of life every single lonely day.

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[avpdculture]

avpd culture is "the scary job offer" meme, even though you were actively looking for vacancies yourself

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[avpdculture]

sdx avpd culture is finally, after 3+ years, bringing it up to my rural Christian white mom after being, well, avpd about it (/silly) -- and SHE BELIEVES ME???? SHE SUPPORTS ME GETTING A DIAGNOSIS????

we had a talk about stigmatized mental health disorders, and while she still holds most of her ableist ideas about NPD which is unfortunate (much love to all NPDers!! <3), and she is the mom to be weird about self diagnoses especially with mental health and "reading shit online," she is starting to understand a lot more about personality disorders as a whole. i also told her about DPD and STPD (which i've suspected for at least a few months). we talked about schizophrenia and psychosis, and it was a great day!! she said "you know i have [avpd] too" as i was reading the criteria which is sad and breaks my heart but it was nice not to feel alone. we both plan on bringing it up to our counselors so we'll see how that goes

i also also had a counseling appt for the first time in over 3 years and ohmygod it's WONDERFUL i missed it 💔 it feels so nice to have hope for my& future again <33

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[avpdculture]

AVPD culture is wanting to stop doing anything and cry because your friend asked why you never so anything even though you've been pouring all your energy out trying to get *some* stuff done for upcoming university despite the anxiety and fear killing you completely

(I didn't actually cry cuz. What if it's embarrassing.)

(Also can I be -🖤💫🔪 anon if it's not taken)

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[avpdculture]

avpd culture is telling the person most important to you in the whole world that if they ever hated you it would be okay. but that's a lie and deep down you know that you'd get so completely suicidal. it's just that you also think that's ok/inconsequential.

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[avpdculture]

Avpd culture is: nobody likes you. Disappear.

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[avpdculture]

Suspecting AvPD Culture is feeling genuinely ashamed when I am nice to others.

What if I am doing it for myself? I am one Hell of an awful person, so it surely must be for selfish reasons.

And I end up just being even more quiet, not complimenting unless they really seem to want it. Not saying anything unless directly asked to.

— 🪾🕰️.

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[avpdculture]

Suspecting AvPD Culture is having only three close people that I got somewhat close to, and decide: “no way in Hell I am opening up.”

Never.

So, instead, I just copy their behaviors. I will go along with a joke if they make it, because I am not funny and will never be. In roleplay games, I will always be the shy, nervous, quiet one, so that others will lead it for me, because if I lead it, the story won’t be compelling. I always will compliment everyone’s art and poems and brush off my own, because surely, they’re better at it than me.

I have a specific humor with each person, a specific personality and behavior with each person, but I don’t have a real personality of my own.

I am, instead, whatever they expect of me. None of them knows me as well as they think they do, and even after months of knowing each other (which is the longest I hung out around people,) I can’t bring myself to call them “friends.”

Someday, I want to throw my name away. The only reason I don’t throw my other belongings away is because I have grown attached to them, but I don’t even need a bedframe or fridge, or even light. Just bare minimum food to survive, some water, some songs, and I know I will find my way to survive from there.

Someday, I will become a “traveler” with no face and no name and no voice. Just a folk tale. No one will know I ever existed.

And I am scared. All the fucking time. I have so many things to say, but the words don’t make a sound, if they even come out; which I know they don’t.

(I hope it is all valid.)

— 🪾🕰️ (new here, hi.)

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[avpdculture]

Avpd culture is feeling like nobody knows what avpd is, and feeling like if I say I might have it that nobody will believe me and think I'm stupid/overreacting/bad/etc.

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[avpdculture]

avpd culture is being afraid of talking on the phone ever since you were a little kid

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