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Summer break has been busy but we finally got a little more playtime in. They got some space from the mimic by retreating behind a wall of fire. (DM note: remove another vial of lamp oil from EEPY’s inventory.) Then Darkeye got the killing strike with a Chill Touch spell. 7 was over the moon to answer “so, how do you want to do this?” It was appropriately dramatic.

That leveled everyone up which basically put a halt to the action for the rest of the afternoon. We tried, and failed, to chase down the ice cream truck via echolocation, and I took them out for Italian ice instead.

My kids have been begging to play D&D. Even though I only actually played about 10 hours total 25 years ago, how can I say no? I’ve listened to lots of Critical Role so I’m sure it’ll go great.

10 is a wood elf ranger named E. E. P. Y. No one is sure what those initials stand for, perhaps not even E. E. P. Y. himself. He’s sworn to get revenge on Quad Quadron and the Quadron Squadron, the orcs who attacked his settlement.

7 is a dragonborn who changed his Wizard School major from divination to necromancy without telling his parents. Now they’ve sent him out to restore the family’s honor and fortune.

To fill out the party, I am both DM and a tiefling cleric of Selûne who’s actually accidentally a Fey Patron warlock. (I know, I first saw it here on the ‘blur too.) She was kicked out of the temple for heresy and intends to find something to prove that she’s right. Also she’s 17 years old and just the cutest thing. Look at her bangs!

Here are some highlights from our first session this weekend. It involved gathering the party, a short shopping trip, and one (1) encounter. It took us five (5) hours.

When the Warlock arrived at the tavern, the Ranger (CHA 8) stared deeply into her eyes, right to her very soul, and said, “Welcome,” in the deepest gravelliest voice 10 can muster. Then he turned back to the bar and did not speak again.

The Wizard bought a bottle of wine & went to his room. Did not specify if he drank it or just… has it.

The Warlock tried to order ale, but got carded and rolled a nat1 on deception. The Ranger offered to share his ale. She declined.

Note: I had not saved any alcohol effects info when preparing my resources, thinking there was no need, since my players are literally in elementary school. I was wrong. The Ranger wanted to do shots.

Our encounter was with a Green Hag. I managed to avoid a TPK through having the hag do anything but melee attacks, not knowing the bonus action rules and just letting the PCs do any two actions per turn, and maybe accidentally subtracting the same damage twice.

After his first arrow didn’t hit, the Ranger turned to fire. He doused the hag’s robes in lamp oil and set it on fire, and later improvised a Molotov cocktail. (Yes, he’s currently watching The Good Place.)

The Wizard was taken to zero HP with two hits. After that 7 got bored and left the table except to come make his death saving rolls. He has False Life and Shield in his spell list, but we forgot about that.

The Ranger stabilized the Wizard, then looted his pockets and took all his gold. A brotherly screaming match ensued when 7 found out. The Wizard is still unconscious.

Everyone leveled up. They can’t wait to play again. 10 is trying to recruit his friend down the street to join us.

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Fairy: Hey I didn’t get your name.

Me: Yeah that was on purpose.

Fairy: Oh my god stealing people’s names has been categorized as a war crime for like a hundred years. Do I seem like the kind of fairy that would do war crimes?

Me: Well yes, but that’s just my impression of you personally. Not fairies in general.

Fairy: You’re smarter than I thought.

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I thought you might like these moss-filled pawprints in concrete which I saw earlier. :-)

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let's be luminous with mama on Facebook Marketplace?

official mama post

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I used to do cross country in high school, and there was this guy on the team that was wonderful. Great guy. But his advice to everyone that asked how to get good was to run 20k a day.

If you don't run, I'll just tell you, most people's bodies cannot take that kind of abuse. No matter how much you train, you will not be able to run 20k a day. It's like how you can't train to make your cuts heal faster. You recover as fast as you recover. So while a big part of what made this guy so succesful was the dedication and mental toughness needed to actually run 20k a day, an equally big part was that he healed like fucking Wolverine. And that's fine, but it would've been nice if he knew that and stopped telling new guys to commit suicide by jogging.

Different guy on the team ran like, 5-6k a day, which actually isn't all that much. His problem when he gave advice was that he didn't really get that 5-6k a day doesn't generally produce elite results for most people. He was lucky in the sense that he didn't have to work all that hard to get great results, and unlucky in the sense that if he pushed himself much further than that, he fell apart.

I think about those two whenever I get advice from succesful people. The very things that make them outliers also make their advice useless to most people. Worse, they're often outliers on totally separate ends of the same spectrum, so their advice will be contradictory.

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at this point I’m tired of putting “prefer not to answer” on my job applications when they ask me my gender. Remove the question. I will never answer. My identity is a surprise you find out at the interview when I show up appearing as gender ambiguous as humanly possible in order to disguise the fact I am thousands of bees in a skin suit. No I am not buzzing. There was no option for Hive Insects on the form. This was your decision. I am consequences.

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i miss her like a mf...🚬

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This is the way http://dlvr.it/TLcXbk

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My Penumbral Lady and I saw you from across the room and we hate your guts

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please stop writing "viscous" when you mean "vicious", it produces the weirdest mental images ever

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saw this cute post and now I'm not going on reddit for the rest of the day. quit while you're ahead

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hmmm

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and you're telling me the popular ship in the fandom is gideon/harrow and not gideon/dulcinea. that's what i'm given to understand. no one else is melting at gideon saying very genuinely "i don't want you to die". no one else is really really smitten with dulcinea and practically swoons when she talks

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I love British mystery shows set in beautiful peaceful quaint idyllic towns full of simple happy folk who are constantly murdering the shit out of each other.