baldnt

[baldnt]

oh you love me? name 97 of my trials and tribulations

[baldnt]

you’re reading thirst tweets. bobby is being held hostage by the US military while they run unethical experiments on his rat diseased body. and you’re reading thirst tweets on buzzfeed.

[baldnt]

figuring out how to get rid of screen addiction is like trying to figure out how to stop a nicotine addiction while also having a job centered around smoking cigarettes and having half your social life be in smoke breaks

[baldnt]

[baldnt]

tumblr is gonna love KAOS it's got all the things we like

jeff goldblum

billie piper

greek mythology

including orpheus and eurydice

a banging soundtrack

bisexuality

[baldnt]

this is the greatest modern greek myth adaptation i've ever seen and yes i'm including percy jackson

[baldnt]

Most english orthographic reforms fail because they're trying to make the language better when they should be making it worse. In pursuit of that idea, starting in fall 2024 we're adding six new letters to make reading harder.

1. Reverse P

Completing the b-d-p rotational cycle and causing confusing with g and q (the hook on the q is now mandatory).

2. Lower i

Uppercase is a lowercase i and lowercase is an even lower i.

3. Left bracket

For it's hard work over the years, [ is being promoted to the alphabet proper. Lower case is a reverse h. Fuck right bracket.

4. Long M

Just like a regular M but two of the legs keep going. Long M is a vowel in all cases that Y isn't.

5. Reverse X

Like X but in reverse. To tell the difference we're adding these little curls to X, so regular X now looks like this

6. Reverse F

Uppercase is a reverse F, lowercase is an upside down v. Fuck you is why.

[baldnt]

the best part about having a job is being able to go through doors other people aren’t allowed to use the worst part is everything else

[baldnt]

I told a guy his total was 13.21 and he said “wish it were that year, could actually get some good music on the radio”

[baldnt]

"dont smoke around your pets" okay well i dont even smoke im asthmatic. my dog smokes bc she needs to fucking chill sometimes and Yeah i light them for her Obviously bc she cant use a lighter. i dont get anyrhing out of this arrangment and i resent the implication. in fact shes giving ME secondhand smoke. so my question is why are you so hateful and jugemental and acting like an asshole to me making presumptions and shit about my life.

[baldnt]

Some Hawkeye Pierce + text posts and tweets

[baldnt]

holy hell i found him y’all. he is indeed in rural Virginia.

[baldnt]

This one I found on r/funny

[baldnt]

"I'm going to play Dark Urge, I'm going to play a Drow, I'm going to play a Half Elf Cleric of Selune-" No. I grow tired of filling Faerun with hotties and encouraging my party's fatherless behavior.

To remedy this I have made Your Dad, the ultimate 1:1 replica of the average New Jersey father to save the realm and put a stop to my party's sad, horny business.

And before you can even ask "oh what is the Guardian Your Mom or something" of fucking course she is you fool

[baldnt]

Tfw you would love to enter the wood but you know the ecosystem requires a toll of blood during creature reproduction season and many mosquitoes are poised to extract it from you.