bardnuts

[bardnuts]

never ask a woman her age a man his salary your mutual how late it is in her timezone when she starts posting about that bisexual man

[bardnuts]

[bardnuts]

*said with so much love in my heart that it's full to bursting* hey I had a lot of fun last time would you like to hang out again sometime soon? :)

[bardnuts]

the dick must be insane

[bardnuts]

full portrait commissions open again

($300 - possible props and bg elements included. +$150 for a second character) payment plans available upon request!

I miss doing some full render art so I'm taking a few of these for the month! If interested please fill this form here! Or email me at Garnetdawn@gmail.com

[bardnuts]

just fyi you shouldn't emulate the problematic behavior depicted in fiction. just because something looks okay in a story doesn't make it okay in real life. this is about talking to your ex. do not text your ex. that's the devil speaking. you're not in a romcom. it won't work out. don't do it.

[bardnuts]

Here's a new comic that explains my situation a little more & how you can get art from me :-) thank you ❤️

[bardnuts]

strange things go down in the sticks

[bardnuts]

[bardnuts]

"Small Cruelty"

[bardnuts]

recently my plug has offered free weed for:

bunch of ice

mw2 double xp tokens

[bardnuts]

I enjoy the snake cowboy, @axiolotl

[ellis's oc, his name is ace]

[bardnuts]

little tyrant

[bardnuts]

[bardnuts]

unclear. adj. of or pertaining to an uncle

[bardnuts]

how to write monsters that actually scare and not sparkle

✦ first rule: don’t over-explain. once you give me the monster’s exact height, weight, claw count, and dental record, it’s not scary anymore. it’s a pokémon. mystery is the muscle. a shadow that almost looks human will always hit harder than a full description of a swamp beast. leave gaps. let the reader’s brain fill them in with their own worst fear.

✦ physics should not apply. horror monsters are terrifying when they break the rules of the world we think we understand. a body folding in ways it shouldn’t. joints bending the wrong direction. silence in a place that should echo. footsteps that sound like they’re coming from the ceiling instead of the floor. once you warp reality, the reader doesn’t feel safe in their own.

✦ chasing is fine. but waiting is worse. scarier than claws, scarier than snarling—try a monster that just stands in the corner and watches. even scarier? it smiles. because predators don’t smile unless they know something you don’t.

✦ let it act like it knows you. a growl is scary, sure, but a whisper of your name in the dark is worse. a hiss of your birthday. a laugh in your mother’s voice. monsters are no longer “other” once they feel personal. they’re invasive. they’re inside your head.

✦ bonus tip: give them wrong appetites. a monster that eats flesh is cliché. a monster that eats wallpaper? horrifying. one that eats memories, so a character wakes up without knowing their own name? disgusting. one that eats reflections from mirrors so you don’t see yourself anymore? revolting.

[bardnuts]

My lord I need you to make up your mind, where the fuck are we going