barenakedcharlie-blog

[barenakedcharlie-blog]

[barenakedcharlie-blog]

take me to a far away place…

[barenakedcharlie-blog]

“This is a thing many people outside your grief cannot understand: that you have not simply lost one person, at one point in time. You have lost their presence in every aspect of your life. Your future has changed as well as your “now”.”

— Megan Devine, refugeingrief.com

[barenakedcharlie-blog]

Life is messy. It’s hard, frustrating and emotionally draining at times.. so grab yourself a latte and take a moment. Sit outside your favorite coffee house and enjoy the weather. Be present. People watch, eavesdrop and have yourself a laugh. Take a breath and a well deserved break.

The motto my girlfriend and I live by on really challenging days is:

“On bad days we drink lattes.”

Because to us, it’s like a warm hug in a mug.

And when we aren’t able to be together during difficult times or challenging days, we send each other money for a latte so we can provide one another a warm hug to get through it.

Buy a hug and give yourself a break.

Be kind to each other and especially yourself.

-C.

[barenakedcharlie-blog]

[barenakedcharlie-blog]

friend from high school: how have you been ?

me: fine

my heart: i've glowed up and bloomed like a flower. i finally love myself and smile at my reflection every morning and forgive all of my mistakes. i've learned that the person i need to love the most is myself because i've got forever to live with myself. i love my body and i love everything i do. when i fall, i might mull and fall into a slump but there is always time to get back, even if it means crawling for a long time. i'm happy, i really am.

[barenakedcharlie-blog]

[barenakedcharlie-blog]

Death.

Definitive. Complex. Sadness. Relief.

A few adjectives that define such a significant moment.

I witness a lot of death and the moments after. It’s hard to explain or understand what happens in these moments and the emotions that happen unless you’re apart of the “dead mommy club” as Christina Yang calls it or if you can see Thestrals.

Recently, I got the opportunity to be with a family who lost their husband/brother unexpectedly while on vacation. This gentlemen was celebrating his 30th wedding anniversary with his wife and siblings when he was found unresponsive.

When I arrived on scene, the family was in their sister’s hotel room suspended in the moment. Waiting for direction of what to do next. I introduced myself and explained what was to come in the next moments and how they were able to get their loved one back to their home state. I answered questions and listened to their stories and reassured their concerns.

While speaking with the family, the eldest sister asked to speak to me privately in the hallway. I have forever been touched by this moment and it has reassured me that what I do is important and moments like this are the reason I do what I do.

In the hallway she cried. She reminisced. She explained how her brother was her life. How he gave her unconditional love and never judged her. She told me about their childhood and their adventures navigating life together. She explained the importance of sharing this moment with me because as the oldest sibling she has to be strong for her family. She has to be the leader and with those responsibilities she won’t be able to grieve for brother, her best friend the way she needs to. She explained that she needed to tell someone how much she loved him and how much she will miss him.

I held her tight and let her cry. For herself, her family, her brother, and her best friend.

In that moment, I was able to provide her a safe place to grieve and to remember. A place where she didn’t have to bare the weight of others’ emotions but a place where she could feel everything for herself. A place where she didn’t have to be strong when she needed to feel.

When experiencing a loss, weather yours or someone else’s, it’s important to remember that not everyone grieves the same and as long as the person isn’t hurting themselves or someone else whatever they choose to do is normal. Some people cry, some people pace, some people scream, some are quiet, or some want to clean. It’s all okay and the best thing to do is be there for the person. Simply be with them. Listen to them if they want to talk or sit in silence. Reassure them when they express guilt or concern and reiterate their love for their person. The feeling of “doing nothing” is hard when you just want to fix, but just being with someone can make such a difference in delicate moments like these.

Be well and treat each other with kindness.

-C.

[barenakedcharlie-blog]

[barenakedcharlie-blog]

[barenakedcharlie-blog]

Music has a way of making us face emotions we don't want to and provides comfort when we do. If you ever want to know how your life is going, pay attention to what songs you relate to most.

[barenakedcharlie-blog]

[barenakedcharlie-blog]

Mythology Around the World: Common Themes:

Queens 

[barenakedcharlie-blog]

Forget the boys and girl, FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF.

“One day you’ll stop chasing kisses out of other’s peoples mouth, and you’ll stop chasing their affection and attention, and you’ll start chasing your own love, your own dreams, your own healing. Until then, please know yourself and learn your true worth.”

— cynthia go // The Chase

[barenakedcharlie-blog]

I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving Portland’s moody days. (Kassala Holdsclaw)

[barenakedcharlie-blog]

[barenakedcharlie-blog]

What do you want to be when you grow up?

It seems like when children are first able to converse people start asking "What do you want to be when you grow up?" And it's cute to picture preschools being police officers, doctors, artists or a horse as my mother wanted to be haha. However, as the children get older the question starts to weigh more heavily and by Senior year of high school those students who don't know are viewed as unambitious with a dull future while the students who have a long list of acceptance letters and declared majors are praised and put on a pedestal. But why must society put so much pressure on young adults to make this decision at such a vulnerable time in their lives? How do you expect these students to realistically declare their profession when they lack experience, knowledge, and exposure to all their options? A student with no background in medicine might think that being a doctor or a nurse are their only options in the medical field and become discouraged by what those professions demand. However, there are a vast majority of other options such as an ER technician, Pharmacy Technician, Surgical Technician, scribe, Radiology Technician, EMT/paramedic that require less schooling, are just as important and full-filling, and are a great introduction to the medical field.

Is it beneficial to encourage students to think about where they see themselves? Of course! Is it important to encourage these students to continue onto higher education? Definitely. But it's not okay to make students feel like they have to choose their career at age 18 when they have lived the past 13 years under the tight restrictions of their parents and school administrations. It's not okay to make students who don't go to college right away feel like failures and that if not now, than never. It's not okay to send these young adults out into the world that they are so unfamiliar and expect them to navigate it like a boss. This is the time that these young adults need the most guidance and support. Encourage students who are unsure of their future to go to community college and get their prerequisites done so when they are ready, they can dive into their major and don't feel completely behind. Encourage these students to take a year off to reflect and find out who they really are and what their interests are. Reassure these students that it’s okay to not go to school right away and handle things at home. Give them tips on how to prioritize their time while working and going to school and most importantly remind them to be easy on themselves. Remind them that it’s going to get hard and they will be tired and stressed, but not to give up and to lean on their peers, friends, and family members for support and encouragement. Remind them that it’s okay to have a good cry and most importantly it’s okay to laugh.  

My advice for young adults in high school, college, or just trying to figure life out. 

Don’t try to plan out every last detail of your life. You will honestly stress yourself out more and forget to live in the moment as you struggle to grasp onto every detail. The future is called the unknown for a reason. Have goals and take the proper steps to work towards them, but leave room for deviation. You will come across obstacles that will take time to navigate and could possibly lead you in a totally new direction. Be flexible and open to change. 

Volunteer to gain experience and insight into your career interests. There are so many volunteer opportunities so start googling! If you want to become a teacher and would like to have experience working with children, volunteer at your local Church in the Sunday school classroom or a local Children’s museum! If you are interested in the medical field volunteer at a local hospital. You will be able to work in various departments and be exposed to positions that you didn’t even know existed. If you have an interest in animals, contact your local animal shelter and ask what their volunteer requirements are. Volunteering not only looks good on a resume, but can give you great exposer and networking opportunities! 

Trade school vs Community college. In short, I would say go to Community College. Community College often offers the same programs as the Trade schools do, but at a quarter of the cost. The only drawback to choosing the Community College route is that sometimes the programs are longer, but I would rather pay less money and go to school longer for the same paycheck that I would be receiving if I paid more money to go to school for a shorter amount of time. 

No mater what path you take after high school just remember to be happy and to work towards a goal to bring you to a bigger and brighter future!