beacool2357

[beacool2357]

Not all venom fans are monster fuckers 😞 some of us are just aroace disasters who like the idea of a platonic soulmate who likes to murder annoying people for you, is that so bad?

[beacool2357]

“Bruce doesn’t know how to cook” “Bruce doesn’t make his own bed” have you considered the possibility that Bruce knows how to do all of those things but lets Alfred do them anyway because if he doesn’t, the whole Manor falls apart?

Bruce lets Alfred make the bed because after the close call with Killer Croc last night it’s either crisp folded sheets pressed to perfection OR Alfred goes deep into the Gotham sewers with a rifle, a belt of flash-bangs, and 30 years of unresolved overprotectiveness.

let the man cook. literally, please let him cook something.

[beacool2357]

"What Haunts in Vegas.........stays in Vegas!"

The hypothetical college trio series includes many hard hitting episodes, including this one where Vlad's in drag and has to seduce a short, sleazy human trafficking ringleader while Jack and Maddie play cards in the casino and distract the bodyguards.

This has been sitting in my drafts forever and I probably won't finish it any time soon (i wanted to adapt most of it into a longer comic) so here's a summary of the ensuing shenanigans and gags:

I love the idea that a series about Jack, Maddie and Vlad would feature a lot of stories about organized crime with a ghostly twist, so this is a reflection of that.

The trio plus Agents K and O set up a trap within a ritzy Vegas casino. Vlad, disguised as the silver vixen bait, is thoroughly incensed by his humiliating role but also ironically looks like enough of an effortless knock-out in a slinky black dress that the ruse seems to work on Petri. (Earlier, Vlad exclaimed to Maddie that only "an idiot" would fall for this disguise, followed immediately by Jack not recognizing him and wondering "who the broad in black is", only proving Vlad's point.)

The height difference between Petri and Vlad is so ridiculous that Vlad (who is wearing high heels) doesn't even initially notice when Petri approaches him to hit on him.

Another silly angle that makes Vlad a comically tailor-made fit for the role of Petri's seducer is the fact that Petri is a wine and cheese snob and prefers his women to be "cultured" in that regard. Vlad can't be out-snobbed on either front, so it nearly turns into a pissing contest of who's enjoyed the more exotic and expensive pairing.

Petri asks the 6'3 silver haired goddess sitting next to him if her hair is naturally silver, and Vlad stays in character to say yes, but it was caused by a great deal of stress brought on by her "oafish buffoon of an ex-husband" which prompts Agents K and O to tell Vlad to stick to the script through Vlad's bugged earring, and Jack in the other earring to express surprise that he didn't know his best buddy was married and why didn't he tell him?!

(A vein pulses in Vlad's temple, but he maintains a nostalgic expression for Petri's sake while he discreetly reaches up and mercilessly crushes his earring between his fingertips with an electronic crunch. Agent O turns to Agent K in the hotel suite they're monitoring the mission from. "Heels destroyed his comm." "...This is the last time we work with civilians.")

At some point, an increasingly smarmy Petri places his hand on Vlad's leg, and an uncomfortable Vlad's instinctive reflex is, unfortunately, to choke him.

While all of this is taking place, Jack and Maddie are playing the tables alongside Petri's lieutenants. The idea is that when Vlad lures Petri to the suite where Agents O & K will apprehend him, they will safely subdue the henchmen.

Vlad does manage to get Petri into the hotel room, but things immediately go off the rails at that point. Agents K and O have been incapacitated off screen, and Petri reveals he suspected that this was all a set up from the beginning, so he took the liberty of removing the dangerous element from the equation. Meanwhile, Jack and Maddie have their hands full as subduing the henchmen goes poorly and it turns out a large portion of the casino customers seem to be currently overshadowed. A massive fight breaks out.

The GIW files assumed that Petri Fyer was a human, but Vlad had clocked almost immediately upon meeting him that he's actually a ghost overshadowing a human being. Petri Fyer is actually Petrifyer, a large, monstrous ghost that resembles a toad. He departs from his human host to confront Vlad. Petrifyer has a paralytic venom that stuns humans and renders them immobile, so he uses it on Vlad and gleefully tries to decide what he should do with all of them.

It becomes apparent that Petrifyer understood that the whole situation was a set up, but he totally missed the fact that Vlad wasn't who he said he was, and since the paralytic venom is only effective on human beings, Vlad manages to break out of the paralysis by forcing a transformation.

Petrifyer vs. Plasmius ensues, there's some back and forth where Petri is 1) shocked he got catfished, 2) shocked he got catfished by the half-ghost billionaire who tried and failed to take over the world during the global meteor incident, and 3) still very into Vlad despite literally everything that is going on. Vlad proceeds to cheerfully beat the stuffing out of him.

Jack and Maddie manage to husband-wife power couple their way through ALL of the ghost-guests, wrecking the casino in the process. By the time they make it to the hotel room for back up, Vlad is standing in the middle of a destroyed suite, red heels in hand, Agents K and O groaning on the floor, and the dastardly ghost/human duo restrained. Vlad shoots his friends a withering glare and tries to wipe his lipstick off with the back of his hand. It just smears.

Petri turns out to be a case of true possession (over shadowing being short-term and possession being long-term). The meek, unconfident, ordinary gas station employee, Patrick Fitz, is consensually allowing the sleazy toad-like ghost Petrifyer to use his body to navigate the human world and make them both rich.

Once in custody, Patrick and Petrifyer attempt to elicit sympathy from Vlad due to their similar positions and affinity for "ghost-human relations." Vlad just sneers at them and says he is so far out of their league in every possible way they might as well be on different planets.

The mission ends, Jack immediately forgets he signed a non-disclosure agreement, and Maddie practices her card game skills. (Afterward, Vlad offers Maddie a much more understanding apology for the way he used to treat her, and thanks her for not killing him at any point during those days.)

[beacool2357]

Help Wanted ≠ Send Sacrifices

Danny gripped his bangs in his fist, staring down at the paperwork before him with endless frustration and not a lick of comprehension.

Why was there so much paperwork, anyway? Pariah Dark hadn't exactly seemed like the type to keep records. Had he done this on purpose? As punishment to whomever wound up taking the throne from him? Danny had to admit, that sounded like a really devious plan. Unless the next ruler had been, like, The Secretary Ghost or something.

… that gave Danny an idea.

Clockwork had told him about this "Kingly Connection" thing he had yet to try out. Supposedly, it made it so that the king could address his subjects all at once, no matter where they may be. In case of an urgent announcement or Realms-threatening danger, or something.

To Danny, it sounded like a really efficient way to send out a 'Help Wanted' ad. Everyone would be able to hear it, and anyone who for some reason didn't could learn about it through word of mouth. Those who felt they were qualified could come see him at the Keep, and those who didn't could just continue on with whatever they'd been doing. It was the perfect plan.

Danny flopped back in his seat, relieved for the reprieve as he shut his tired eyes. He followed the pull, down, down, into his core… and then even further, til the light behind his eyes got brighter, til he reached the power of the KING.

Hey, everyone. This is your King speaking. I need like, a secretary or something. Someone who can help me handle literal millennia of paperwork. So, if y'all could come on down to the Keep, or pass the offer on to the smartest person you know, that'd be dope.

Danny felt as the power pulsed within his chest, sending his message out along the millions of tiny strings tying all Undead souls back to his. He sighed and slouched in his chair, exhaustion finally catching up to him. All he had to do now was wait. A little nap in the meantime couldn't hurt, could it?

— — —

Jason felt simultaneously floaty and more grounded than he had since his mysterious resurrection. All his anger and uncertainty was just gone, replaced by pure drive and direction. He wasn't thinking very deeply, but he knew what he was doing. It was like laying on the surface of a sunlit lake, letting the gentle waves take him wherever they wished.

The Red Hood finished the chalk circle in the middle of the wide, empty warehouse floor and stepped back. The lines and starbursts that decorated it were drawn immaculately, without a single smudge. Now, all he needed was…

… the smartest person you know…

… Where was Tim?

[beacool2357]

[beacool2357]

Dead on Main as destiel I commission from the lovely @milkymiks !! So amazing!! Thank you so much 🥰

[beacool2357]

thinkin about a baby of my acquaintance & how when her parents are hanging out & chatting, she'll almost fully participate in the conversation--politely watching who's talking, saying something approx the same length & tone of what her parents are saying, occasionally using a questioning cadence & looking at someone specific for an answer, laughing when they laugh--doing everything except actually using any recognizable language

[beacool2357]

I love dp x DC stories in which Ghost King Danny is summoned in his full Eldritch form and scaring the shit out of everyone. I also like it when it combines with aus of him talking in ghost speak and the translation gets wrangled, so he sounds a lot more threatening than he means to.

But in those stories ... his name doesn't really fit. What Eldritch God would be called Danny? Even Phantom isn't that scary.

Then I realized that if ghost speak gets translates wrongly and Danny said his name in ghost speak ... wouldn't it be translated wrong too?

And Daniel means God is my Judge in Hebrew while Phantom of course is a kind of ghost.

So,

The Justice League has summoned Danny and he doesn't realize that he's in his Eldritch form. His skin is black and filled with galaxies constantly being born and dying. His eyes are two endless black holes. His hair is the flash of the big bang. He's terrifying and awe-inspiring.

As he speaks, it sounds like millions of beings screaming in agony before breathing their last breath.

And then Danny says "Hi! My name is Danny Phantom, the Ghost King, how can I help you?"

But what the JL hears through the translation is: "I am the Judge of Gods and the restless Dead, Ruler of the Infinite, for what purpose hath thee summoned me?"

Now that's a fitting name!

[beacool2357]

I know I've said it before but I'm saying it again, I just absolutely adore how Danny's eyes glow green in human form when he's getting particularly mischievous, not just when he's especially angry

Like this boy has a built in warning signal for when he's about to be a little menace to society and I love that for him

[beacool2357]

14 year old's who encountered near death ( or just death) experiences, with their parents failed radioactive experiments, and turned them almost into the experimental thing. Had a hectic time in the beginning learning about their new found abilities. Turned into vigilantism to protect their neighborhood. Plus really into science stuff. Cant forget the having a main bully, 2 besties, and a mad scientist in their main villain roster

And both had experiences with the infinity gauntlet - and being displaced into the dc universe specifically into Gotham, moslty joining the batfam, in fanfiction. ( which is totality has no ref to it here def not 0(-( this is just a simple graveyard meet up)

honestly pretty common requirements for all todays vigilantes

[beacool2357]

[beacool2357]

The Realm's Greatest Actor (part 1)

(Prompt) (part 1- you're here!) (part 2- to be written...)

The sigal glowed, and started rotating on the floor. It was working.

Constantine stepped back a little, the chant finished. He glanced at the big bat, and then the room grew cold. Frost covered all nearby surfaces, and he could see their breath. The ghost king was coming.

Cool mist drifted to the floor to reveal a... kid. Alright. Unexpected, but okay.

"Your Majesty," He said, bowing, soon to be followed by his 'colleagues'.

The kid glanced around, legs bent at the knee while he floated, arms limp at his sides.

"At ease," He dismissed, with a wave of his hand and a faux-sigh. "What is it you, ah, require?" He said, in a posh, 'holier than thou' voice.

Batman stood up to speak; "We need assistance with a large monster we believe to be one of your subjects terrorizing our cities."

The kid pursed his lips, doing a small spin, and then narrowed his eyes at Batman. "Hmmm." He did another small, smooth backflip in the air that led him closer to the hero in black.

"What do they look like?" He asked, crossing his legs and arms, floating eye level.

"They are a robot, flying around on a hovercraft and destroying buildings. They are attracting the attention of hostile aliens."

The kid nodded, eyes still narrowed, lips still pursed. "Skulker. I know him. Not very nice."

"Can you help?" Conastatine cut in.

The little king then unfolded himself, a devilish smile on his face.

"I can!" He floated over to the Brit. "For a price, of course." He said, lying on his side. "I fear I may not be able to leave this circle until we make a deal, and thus cannot get to him to stop him..." He frowned, turning away to wipe a single tear off his face that flew into the air before turning to mist.

Constantine sighed. "Naturally. What do you want?"

The Ghost turned back to him, a hand on his chin. "What do you have?"

Constatine glanced at Batman before speaking. "My soul," He said. "Or anything money can buy."

The ghost king looked him up and down. "I don't want your soul... I'm not a fan of sharing." His eyes traced over the various heroes. "Ooh, what a lineup!"

He floated to the side, looking over Constantine's shoulder. "Robots, kryptonians, Amazonians, Atlantians...and people. A nice mixed bag. Very interesting characters. You're all dressed up like heroes! Hah! You don't even have any watches!" The ghost giggled at his own... joke?

Constatine glanced over the heros the gauge their reactions. Some were disturbed, some were serious.

"Do you have hero names too!? Oh, tell me, tell me!" He shook his fists excitedly, kicking his legs and leaning forward.

"I'm-"

"Wait-!" Constaine cut Superman off. "We don't know what he could do with a name. Even a hero name."

The king's eyes locked onto him, not moving an inch, and his smile vanished. Then it returned, but it was different, and he sprang into motion once again. "So, you're the party pooper. Why'd you invite me if you don't want to have fun?" He tilted his head to an almost un-natural angle.

Constantine chuckled, more out of awkwardness than humor. He was about to say something more, but Batman beat him to it. "We don't have time for parties. We need Skulker gone, as soon as possible."

"Alright, alright. I see who's in charge. What is your little group called, anyway? I need it for my dream journal." The ghost smiled, toothy and a little less mischievous.

Batman glanced at Constantine, and with a nod, he replied. "We are the Justice League."

The king snickered. "Alright! Who am I making a deal with?"

Batman stepped forward. "I will buy you one thing from Earth, in exchange for your help. Any one thing that is not a sentient being."

The king looked to the side thoughtfully. "I suppose that's enough. Any one thing that is not a sentient being in exchange for dealing with skulker. Let's shake on it." A contract appeared out of the air, simple, but long. The bat read over it quickly, which was probably a few times for the super-human capabilities of that guy.

"Alright. Let's shake on it." The ghost king outstretched his hand, a wicked grin on his face. Batman took his hand, to which the Ghost King eagerly shook it. Constantine was worried his arm might fall off. The bat almost stumbled from the force, but looked unaffected after. When they let go, a puff of frosty air fell to the ground.

"And I'm off!" The kid saluted and then disappeared. The whole league turned to look at Constantine, then, when he gave them nothing, at Batman.

He responded by pulling up footage from a drone on the screen. For twelve minutes, the king laughed and flew around the creature that had been stealing their bodies and burning their cities. Then, he simply hit him a few times, with some blasts from his hands, and sucked him into... a thermos?

He then appeared back into the watch tower, devil grin still plastered on his face. "It's been a while since I talked to Skulker. He hasn't changed much- no one really does after they become my denisins."

The leaguers glanced around, exchanging looks. They were mostly baffled, but the bats, as always, was stoic.

"So, what is it you want?" He asked, looking grim.

The ghost's smile changed, but just slightly. A little more mischievous. "I'll tell you later. For now, this dimension is pretty sweet... I think I'll stay!" He said, looking around and nodding to himself.

The room grew tense. "What do you mean 'stay'?" Constantine asked.

The king giggled, disappearing and reappearing behind the brit. "It seems like it would be fun, with all the... ya'know." He said, gesturing to the league. "Interesting characters. As I said before."

Constantine tensed, and turned to the king now behind him. "...Well, what are you gonna do?" That earned another giggle.

"I'll tell you for a deal," He offered, hand outstretched. Constantine raised an eyebrow at that, unimpressed.

The hand lowered, suddenly snapping to the king's back. "Guess not then." He drifted over towards the crowd, arms behind his back as he looked them over with more attention than before.

His look of slight boredom turned into a mischievous grin that seemed to be his default smile. "Best to go explore, yeah? Have fun with the clean up! And then, he disappeared. But this time, he didn't reappear behind anyone. He was just gone. But one question lingered.

When would the Ghost King be back?

(Prompt) (part 1- you're here!) (part 2- to be written...)

[beacool2357]

One of my fav Psych (2006) gags is when Henry will just be vibin, living his best life, and then BOOM there is Shawn Being Shawn.

Enjoying the morning news? Surprise! Yes that’s your idiot son now running for mayor. Are you just trying to enjoy your favourite Spanish drama? BOOM how about Shawn dressed as FedEx driver enters on stage left.

[beacool2357]

After 3 years together I still have my boyfriend listed as “Mat (Econ)

gus is THE funniest man alive for having his best friend of thirty years, who he fully plans to grow old beside and who he loves like a sibling, in his phone as "Shawn (Work)"

[beacool2357]

El Tigre and Danny aren’t even trying

look at my doctors dawg im gonna die

[beacool2357]

[beacool2357]

You know you can do that now, like in 200 years someone could stumble upon your writing and use that to decode what happened in the past