bear-of-varley

[bear-of-varley]

INDEED.COM IS A BASTION OF DECEPTION AND DEVILRY

[bear-of-varley]

I genuinely don't know where to start with this book. The worldbuilding, characters, and plot are batshit. The plot has more holes than swiss cheese and the characters save for Leo are about as deep as cardboard. There are some crazy plot points and if you follow my private Twitter then you'll see all the shit I wrote, like the magical snake claw vibrator the snake LI gives the MC because why the fuck not, right?

There's a lot I want to say but I also still can't find the words for them yet. Temperance (Tem) is simply not a very good protagonist. She borders on Mary Sue and doesn't really grow much throughout the book's 500 pages. For the most part, things just happen to be given to her. Think about it like Janey from Not Another Teen Movie. Remove the glasses and overalls and she's boo-tee-full. Well in this case it's a chicken farmer's outfit. Caspen, the snake LI is just as bad if not worse. His only traits are that he's a snake, he's mysterious, good at sex, and loves the heroine so much he becomes a serial killer for her. I never really found any solid traces of chemistry between them and I guess they were perfect for each other because they're so bland. Low-key now that I read my own sentence, it's giving Edward and Bella here, except they fight a lot where she gets mad at him, storms away, is pissed for a chapter, then she comes back for X reason and then omg he's hot then 5 pages of "and then they fucked". Leo, the second LI and human one is perhaps the most well developed character in the story, as he's given an actual background, motivations, etc. Poor thing gets cucked by MC a lot which honestly weirdly adds to his sympathetic qualities.

As for side characters, for a 500+ page book, the amount of side characters are small. The author very much doesn't care about introducing other girls or fleshing out the competition aspect. All we get is Vera (a terrible rep for the curvy girlies like me) who is there to bully the protagonist and be desperate for male attention. We don't even know the MC's mom's name until 95.5% of the book in. I'm also side-eyeing the gay best friend a lot because I see some... stereotypes there. And then there's the two dad's, the kings, who are evil and that's kind of beyond it. Leo's sister is the one character who could have been a way for the author to show female friendship but she's there for a few pages as filler and I honestly think her existence itself is a massive plot hole that I really don't want to get into because it's honestly not worth it rn. Tldr: This book badly needs an editor.

As for pacing. Pacing? What pacing? It doesn't matter when your brain is turned off. The plot twist is fairly obvious and it becomes confusing over time. There's a scene that happens around the 70% mark that makes no sense only other than for the author to just sprint to the climax of the story. Mental gymnastics is required but honestly just fucking roll with it. You're not reading this like it's Charles Dickens, alright? The ending doesn't make sense, either but this isn't the pinnacle of literature anyway because I think the MC is commiting polygamy? Idk, there's nothing that gets wrapped up. It's all suspended in midair. I guess we gotta wait till November to find out ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

But I'm sure y'all are asking me "but Kay, what about the sex scenes?" They're there and very copious but a lot of times it's just 2 positions (missionary and cowgirl) and it's detailing that and then the author handwaving it with "and then we fucked all night" like some kinda bad fanfiction. There are some crazy scenes that happen at the midpoint which I respected but she truly could have gone crazier. I am oddly appreciative of this in this time of rampant pushing for censorship and I'm not blind to the fact that I'm posting this to Tumblr, a site that got a death knell as the exemplar for what happens post censorship.

In the epigraph, the author foregoes talking about any CWs (like harassment, sexual harassment, sexual assault, assault, graphic violence, forced oral, vore/cannibalism, fantasy racism) and instead promises to change the reader's life and how it's important to go blind into this (I was blind). Did the author change my life as she promised? No. Far From it. Am I going to read the sequel later this year? Probably if I can remember to because idk where my life will be come November. However I can't see claws and horns the same way since I'll now think of them as magical vibrators because wtf.

This book is written in a way where it's easy to digest so the optimal way to read is to do so when you simply need to give your brain a break. Because fuck I needed a break and for something objectively terrible to read.

I read kiss of the basilisk as my required booktok monstrosity read and just finished it and there's not enough gifs to describe how I currently feel rn after finishing it.

I currently have no words. I'll find them tomorrow.

[bear-of-varley]

I read kiss of the basilisk as my required booktok monstrosity read and just finished it and there's not enough gifs to describe how I currently feel rn after finishing it.

I currently have no words. I'll find them tomorrow.

[bear-of-varley]

[bear-of-varley]

summer group pic commission 👙🌊

[bear-of-varley]

[bear-of-varley]

truly do not understand workplace drama. we're stuck here doing stupid bullshit for 8 hours and you want to make it worse? But on the other hand I love hearing about arguments that are not and never will be my problem

[bear-of-varley]

btw if you’re fat and your partner doesn’t love you wholeheartedly, if they’re attracted to you “despite” your body, if they avoid touching you, if they look away from certain parts of you, you’re allowed to break up with that person. look at me. you can do better. you are not unloveable and you don’t have to settle i fucking promise.

[bear-of-varley]

What if you went grocery shopping and the produce section was just missing?

[bear-of-varley]

Your regular reminder that trickle-down economics is a cruel joke designed by the wealthy.

[bear-of-varley]

when gamers say "gg" at the end of a match it means good girl

[bear-of-varley]

I took my little brother (autistic, mostly non verbal) out and he was using his voice keyboard to tell me something, and this little boy (maybe 4 or 5?) heard him and asked me "Is he a robot??" I tried to explain to him that no, he isn't a robot, he just communicates differently, but my darling brother was in the background max volume "I am robot I am robot I am robot I am robot"

[bear-of-varley]

Spin this wheel first and then this wheel second to generate the title of a YA fantasy novel!

(If the second wheel lands on an option ending with a plus sign, spin it again)

Share what you got!

[bear-of-varley]

if you are a game designer and you force me to kill wolves AND you have them make sad puppy noises I'm killing you

[bear-of-varley]

[bear-of-varley]

deeply obsessed with this