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Finals Week

April showers bring may flowers And studying for lots of hours All this information cramming Your head on the desk you're slamming Filling flash cards one by one Getting late but still not done Inertia and no motivation Throw my hands up in frustration Textbooks scattered on the floor I just can't take this any more Finals coming, stuff is due I just cant wait till school is through

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The Joy of the Lord is My Strength

Lately I've been working on being thankful and joyful through anything. Sometimes it's harder than it seems. But I've found I can draw true strength from this kind of joy. This true and lasting joy of knowing and trusting God.  There are many ways people show their joy. I like to look at the bright side and try to point it out to people who aren't having a great day. I especially like using humor. I watched Fr. J. Martins sermon on Laughing with the Saints and it really pinpointed why humor is important. Here's a summary of his article of the importance of joy, humor, and laughter.  "Joy, humor and laughter are a wonderful part of the vocation of being Christian.

Reasons why-

Humor evangelizes-shows ones faith in God. This essentially positive outlook shows people that if you're Christian you believe in the Resurrection, in the power of life over death, in the power of love over hatred. Or, more simply, as a believer, you believe in the power of God.

Humor is a tool for humility: we can tell jokes about ourselves to deflate our egos.

Humor shocks listeners into recognizing reality: Humor can go right to the point. It puts things into perspective. St. Francis of Assisi once said, “Preach the gospel. Use words when necessary.” 

Humor speaks truth to power: A witty remark is a time-honored way to challenge the pompous, the puffed-up or the powerful. Humor is a weapon in the battle against the arrogance and pride that infects all of us and that sometimes infects our Church.

Humor shows Christian courage: St. Lawrence showed his courage to his torturers during his martyrdom, saying, “I’m done on this side.” It’s both a pointed challenge to his executioners and a bold profession of faith.

Humor deepens our relationship with God:   Any healthy relationship can use some humor. Likewise, our relationship with God can also use some lightheartedness. It’s O.K. to be playful with God in your prayer and accept that God might want to be playful with you.

Humor welcomes: Humor is one way of showing hospitality. Perhaps the easiest way to get someone to feel at home is to make him or her laugh.

Humor heals: Physicians, psychologists and psychiatrists believe that humor helps the healing process in the physical body. Laughter releases endorphins. humor can give us a much-needed break and can help us to heal.

Humor fosters good relations and helps with our work: This is important for anyone who works in any setting in the Church. Humor helps grease the wheels.

Humor opens our minds. Neuroscience tells us that when we laugh we release endorphins and we can relax. Psychologists say that when we relax, and feel less threatened, we are more able to listen and learn. Thus, laughter helps to get your message across. Likewise, laughter can signal a sudden spiritual insight. It’s funny to think of how human we are, and it’s joyful to know that we have been freed by God. Laughter both deepens and reveals understanding.

Humor is fun. It’s fun. There may be no better reason for humor than that. Fun—a word you don’t hear in Church much— is a foretaste of heaven. 

Those are some of the reasons that joy, humor and laughter should be part of everyone’s spiritual lives. They are gifts from God to help us enjoy creation and build up the Kingdom. They are also neglected gifts that need to be recovered for the health of the Body of Christ."

I love making people laugh. I naturally enjoy telling jokes, making funny faces,being sarcastic, and shooting witty and funny replies at people. I try to keep my jokes from being degrading but this is harder than you would think since I was raised in a family where "fatty", "turd", and "fart muffin" are endearing terms. I've learned the hard way that some people don't appreciate that and have since learned how to tone down this crude humor. I want to treat my sense of humor as a gift from God, and use it to lead others to him. My goal is for God's love to shine through me, infecting everyone I meet. Through my favorite jokes, my crazy personality, my pranks. I want to share God's love through my joy. 

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I am learning to give my worries to God.

“For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you?" Matthew 6:25-30

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In This Moment

I walk down the hall and roll my eyes at the conversation happening in front of me. I've come to the decision that college kids are immensely immature, lacking creative vocabulary and common sense. When you use the same word seven different times in a sentence to add emphasis, it becomes not only vulgar, but obnoxious. Popularity is of utmost importance and fitting in by standing out is a never ending and extremely perplexing paradox. Some days all I can think is "get me outta here!". On numerous occasions I sit here wasting time, wanting to be in another time in my life. Looking at the four friends of mine that got engaged on Valentine ’s Day, the ones that got married this past year, and the ones that are having kids, and feeling jealous of them. They are at a point in their lives where I want to be. I am to mature for this college stuff now.

However, I have to remember that I am here for a reason. One that goes beyond getting a degree and a good job so that I can live a happy life. One that God has designated for me. My impatience to get done and get out often makes me forget this. I am here to be a witness to all of those around me. Today a good friend reminded me that God has me in this place at this time for a purpose. He knows what he is doing and I need to trust him completely and listen to his will for me. So I pray that every day I remember this. I pray that I make the most of where I am at right now. I pray that next time I am questioned about my faith I don't just answer the questions to get them to leave me alone, but I answer them showing other the full joy and fulfillment found in my relationship with Jesus. I pray that I don't shy away from the opportunity to share Gods love. In this moment and in every moment I live I want to be an example of Christ. 

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"The heart of an orphan will never forget the love we were born to know" Romania '12

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Rejection

Anyone who makes an effort to make this world a better place is going to face rejection of one form or another. Why does this fear of rejection still run so deep in me? Even the One who did it all exactly how it was supposed to be done was rejected. As followers of Jesus we need to be ready for this rejection and for prosecution. We have to continue to do as He says, even if it will get us rejected - "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven." I pray that when I face rejection, rather than repressing the light, I will shine brighter and show them what the love of God has done for me.

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A Step Into this Great Adventure

Each day is a precious and unrepeatable gift, a new adventure that is carefully planned out by God, my guide, my rock, my everything. This adventure will never be dull or predictable. I will be safe even on the most dangerous and treacherous path if I follow where He leads. I am learning to trust Him, to depend on Him, to need Him more than the air that I breathe. I hear Him calling to me and I am so ready for this.

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The Sound of Abortion -Peter Heck All I could think as the sound continued was "dear God, help us".

"Make them stop, make that sound stop!"

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Where has the motivation gone? Living minute by minute. Seconds tick by as I try to decide, should i enjoy right now or plan for the future. How is there any possible way that i could do both?

I strive to be optimistic. Fingers crossed, hoping, wishing, praying things go my way. The pessimistic side of me is stronger. Doubting, worrying, stressing. I've already chewed off all of my nails but for one on each hand. 

I cant change anything, I tell myself, and I'll have to keep living either way. 

i can't change things so why do I worry about them. I'm aware, yet i can't change. I need to take a deep breath and let it all go, and then pick it all back up and get it all done. 

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Smelly and slobbery

but oh so cute and warm.

I want one :)

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Ode to Coffee

Is it really that bad for me to drink coffee? 

After all, in my isolation it's my motivation;

My inspiration. 

My anti-procrastination

The list is getting smaller

The done pile's getting taller,

300 words? No problem.

Statistics stumpers? I'll solve em.

Playing new songs like a machine

The sink is empty and counters clean

The toilet papers stocked anew

I found that darned bag of screws

And I owe it all to that heavenly drink

Caffeine will be the death of me I think.

And when I feel I start to slow

That, for sure, is when I know

I'll grab some more water and grounds

And swish the little bag around

Put in lots of sugar and then

I'll be ready to start all over again.

And although I am no John Keats,

I must say this poem turned out pretty sweet

;] (this is just a hint to buy me coffee, maybe I'll come over and clean your house)

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One small yet creative way that I recycle is by making my own guitar pics out of old, empty gift cards. Rather than just throwing these cards away I recycle them and turn them into something that I use in abundance. As you can see below in my pictures I trace out the pick shape on the card, cut them out, and then file the edges to make them smooth. There are alot of fun pictures on cards that make a fun guitar pick. 

Coming soon! Recycled earrings made out of things like recycled necklaces, old guitar strings, and paper clips.

Originally written for the Castle Ink Paperless Scholarship 2012

http://castleink.com 

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Initiation into Opportunities

Looking at my life brings a feeling of sublimity that I've never known. I am awestruck by my wondrous God for giving me these opportunities. There is a combination of fear and excitement as I take each step forward into His plans for me. I pray I will take advantage of every opportunity He gives me. I pray I will make the most of them. However, I will stop scolding myself for missing opportunities because as I sit myself in a timeout as punishment still more slip by. I want to stop dwelling on the past, stop mapping out the future, and start living in each moment as Jesus would live.

I have so much to look forward to in the upcoming year.

A trip out of the country. This brings feelings of fear and excitement. This is a big step for me. It was my own decision, one my father didn't agree wholly with. A passport, my first flight, my first time in a country that doent speak English. 

Work and school. These are areas of my life that have and will continue to provide me with exciting new opportunities to meet people of all types. It is amazingly humbling to think about how many people I come in contact with and I am ashamed of how many of those I haven't in the least smiled at, let alone shared some of the light of my faith with. Everyday is a new opportunity and I am determined to try harder to make a difference in the lives of others that I come in contact with.  

2012 will be a wonderful year, and i'm sure just as full of surprises and fun as 2011, if not than more so. 

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Silly People

Some people are afraid to be themselves and are so very fake.

Some people are afraid to talk to your face so they talk behind your back.

Some people feel the need to impress you so they make up stories (or tell things that probably shouldn't be told) and are shocked when you're still not impressed.

Some people will ask you to do things for them, ask you for favors because they know you'll do it, but when you ask for a favor in return, they wont accept, unless they get something out of it.

Some people will ask you questions they already know the answer to, and even when you give them a hint they pretend they have no idea what you are talking about. 

I laugh at those people

In my head

They are silly

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Summer Lesson Learned

I am stupid. I think I misunderstood the definition of the word 'summer'. Now i look back at May and June and shake my head at my stupidity. Summer is playing out in the heat, going to the pool, and enough free time to write a book. But there I was, with two summer classes, and and jobs. Free time was non-existent. What was I thinking?

Now July is here. I aced my summer class and quit my second job because it wouldn't be worth the gas. I'll stay working as a waitress, pulling off a couple double shifts and 50% tips. I'll finish my online class discussing music, art and architecture. I'll workout everyday to get back in shape for volleyball and get something of a tan, or at least a burn. I'll get organized and clean my room. I'll spend time with the ones i love. I'm going to enjoy every minute i'm alive thank God for the air that i breathe. The AC (and lack thereof), the sore muscles, and the frizzy hair. 

I'm going to try to learn how to relax, i'm going to write up a storm, i'm going to paint my nails, and i'm going to read a few books. 

I've learned to make the most of what you have, enjoy the boredom you're blessed with.

I'm still learning when enough is enough, but thanks to this summer, i'm one big step closer.

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‎In the face of a man’s death, a Christian never rejoices, but reflects on the serious responsibilities of each person before God and before men, and hopes and works so that every event may be the occasion for the further growth of peace and not of hatred.

Vatican Statement on the Death of Bin Laden

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Lights, Camera, Service

I think that being a waitress is alot like acting. You have to change your personality and service to cater to every need of each individual table, you have to remember lots of lines, and you have to put on a plastic smile that no one would ever believe is fake. As soon as my apron is tied on the curtains open and I am not my own. My final bow is when I untie it and throw it in the passenger seat of my car. That is where I can look back on my performance and laugh, cry, or shout in anger at how it went.

Yes, I am saying that while I'm on the floor I am playing a role. I am who my customer want me to be. I will be the shy waitress to give them privacy. I will be the funny waitress to make them laugh. I will be the young waitress eager for big things in the future to give them hope. I will know the weather, traffic conditions and latest buzz to keep them informed.  

This may make it sound like I am a coward, and that I am simply losing myself for the sake of keeping others happy. But this is my means of being a witness to Christ. God has called us to serve others, and this is good practice. If that means doing my job with all my heart, if it means smiling even when I don't feel like it, if it means always assuming the customer is right, well then that is what I will do. I will be the waitress that is friendly to any customer, who doesn't judge based on looks, smells, or tip sizes. That is what I MUST do.  I will not forget why I am here. I will always remember who I am REALLY working for.