bedeater-blog

[bedeater-blog]

Goodbye from Bed Eater! Unfortunately, all revolutionary food blogs must come to an end. It’s time for me to move on, and to search for a better version of myself outside of the immediate realm that bed and food provides. The journey of making this final post was fraught with hardship, so much so that it almost didn’t happen at all. But I persevered, because there is nothing more important to me than sharing health and fashion tips. Watch the whole saga of creating the final post in Bed Eater: The Movie (Link in Bio). It’s possibly the greatest documentary ever made. This week, I challenged the bounds of my creativity, the elasticity of my will, the wetness of my ego. I found love. I found fashion. I found food.

What I’m Eating: Bed

Bed is about more than sleep. Bed is my canvas. And now, it is my meal. For so long, I have eaten foods on the bed, but have never truly combined the two. In order to transcend the boundaries between comfort and chewing, it is necessary to mingle your body and soul with the food groups. I lay upon bread. I cover myself with pasta, protein, and dairy. I rest my head on sugar. I rest upon the bed of food. I eat the food. Therefore, I eat the bed, because I am Bed Eater.  

What I’m Wearing: Food

If I eat the bed, then I must wear the food. We all know that food provides the body nutrients when we eat it. But did you know that crafting food into a stylish outfit can help nourish your soul? I knew that, and that’s why I’m wearing The Salad Dress. With The Salad Dress, I become food. I guess that makes me food, laying on food, eating food. Food eats food. Food eats bed. My soul is packed with vitamins, but my heart is heavy with vegetarian wisdom. Because once you have transcended food and bed, it’s time to suspend your blog about food and bed. 

I love you all, but since I love myself more than I love you, I must say bye-bye.

www.vimeo.com/marissamacy/bedeater

[bedeater-blog]

My Dearest Bed Eater Feeders,

I have good news and bad news.

The Bad News: It is with the greatest sadness and woe that I must announce that my reign as blogger will soon come to an end. In the past year, I have posted once a week, sharing with you the greatest secrets to health and wellness that the world has ever known. My work has been groundbreaking, revolutionary, and my recipes have been hailed as the greatest in a generation. I have accrued accolades from The International Coalition For No Meaty Dishes, Spork Monthly, and WWWW (Women Who Want Wellness). But sometimes, God-like fame isn't enough to carry you through. It has always been my highest priority to better myself, to be the best me, to transcend the self. And with fashion and food, I have made many attempts. Unfortunately, I have reached an impasse, and am unsure of who I am. I am Bed Eater, but am I? And who is that? Who and is that? Who who is and that? That who what is? In order to find these answers, I’ve decided that I will embark on a pioneering journey along a little known, and never completed path, known the Pacific Coast Trail, #PCT. Although my experience with the outdoors is limited, I hope to find my true self as I take in the serenity of being utterly alone. Maybe here I will unlock new secrets about fashion and food, about how to be a better Bed Eater.

The Good News: Although I am suspending the blog and bowing out of public life, the creation and completion of my final post will be documented by filmmaker Daniel Day O’Connor, in Bed Eater: The Movie.  For the first time, I will step away from my online persona and show the true Bed Eater. The intense contemplation, the synthesis of ideas, the beauty, the danger, the food. It will all be on display for the world in this breathtaking documentary. 

I am forever grateful to you, my fans, but mostly I am grateful to myself. Because without myself, I wouldn’t have come this far. Without myself, I wouldn’t have created such high-quality content. But now, it’s time to replenish myself. It’s time to say goodbye.

Forever and Always (until next week),

Bed Eater

[bedeater-blog]

Boo! It’s Bed Eater. Halloween might be a fun and goofy holiday for most people, but I take it very seriously. Not only are the holiday’s traditions a total affront to everything I believe about health and lifestyle (as I’ve mentioned before, candy is sooo bad for you!), but the pressure to dress your very best is almost unbearable. As you know, fashion is very important to me, and I will often contemplate my Halloween costume years in advance. Coming up with something original, cute and comfortable is a challenge, even for the most knowledgeable of fashion bloggers. Trick or Treat?! More like pick a perfect costume or beat yourself up about it for years to come! 

What I’m Eating: Gluten-Free Cereal and Milk Alternative

Just because I’m a member of The National Coalition Against Candy Eaters, doesn’t mean I don’t know how to have fun. This Halloween season, I took on the task of promoting healthy alternatives to candy. My Anti-Candy Pick this year was Gluten-Free Cereal and Milk Alternative! Not only is this treat MORE delicious than candy, but it is super easy to hand out to trick or treaters! To take that extra step towards a healthier and more just world, simply ask the trick or treaters to trade in their candy for Gluten-Free Cereal and Milk Alternative! Don’t forget to hand out some Anti-Candy pamphlets. You can print them on www.nationalcoalitionagainstcandyeaters.com!

What I’m Wearing: A Banana Split Decision!

Every Halloween I’m faced with the difficult task of picking a costume. And this year, I just couldn't decide between funny, spooky or sexy! Then, I thought, why not do all three! Since there is nothing funnier (or healthier) than a banana, I used that for my costume’s base. Then, to add a sexy flair, I slipped on some fishnets and a corset from the online boutique, Shhhhh, It’s Nightwear. Then, to top it off, I sprinkled on some cute spooky makeup! I just hope the fishnets don’t foster too much sex a-peel. Lol! It’s important for Halloween costumes to remain kid friendly. Be safe out there tonight! 

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It’s Bed Eater! It was Mother’s Day in Belarus last weekend, and it really got me thinking about motherhood. I definitely want kids, but I often wonder if I would make a good mom. I’m known for my nurturing, loving and wholesome spirit, but am also driven by a philosophy of self-love. Where do kids fit into that picture? Can you love yourself but also love other people? They’re hard questions, and I’m uncertain. So, in classic Bed Eater fashion, I did some soul-searching. 

What I’m Eating: Family-Style Spaghetti and Cotton Balls

Immediately, when thinking of motherhood, my mind went to family-style foods. And since spaghetti and cotton balls is the quintessential family-style meal, I whipped some up. I’m not typically a sharer, but when I saw that big bowl of spaghetti, my maternal instincts immediately kicked in. Spaghetti and cotton balls aren’t just for me to eat, they’re for you, too. And you. And yes, even you. For the first time, I considered this: perhaps one way to better yourself, is by caring for others? It seemed bizarre, and in practice, it felt bizarre. 

What I’m Wearing: The Kids’ Section

The Kids’ Section is the hippest new designer brand out of Rocking Horse Creek Bend Elementary. Their adorable dresses, pants, and tops are completely made by the tiny hands of students. These little fashion designers use real craft supplies from Mrs. Stevenson’s home room. A custom piece fetches a hefty price, but it is totally worth it. Not only are the outfits adorable, but they are one-time-wear only because of the delicate fabrics used, which will leave your friends wondering “Whatever happened to that exquisite dress?” Use the labor of children to elevate your wardrobe! I decided that for now, having something made by a child is almost as good as being a mother. 

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Greetings from Bed Eater! I was so ultra-blessed this year to be invited to the 3rd Annual Yum-Yums of the Future Convention. As an internationally-known vegetarian, I got to be a part of The Meat-Free Future Panel. I, of course, shared my legendary food hacks, but got the privilege to speak alongside prominent members of the virtual food community! I learned so much about virtual meat!

What I’m Eating: Cruelty-Free Extra-Juicy Cyber Burger

Don’t freak out, but I totally miss juicy hamburgers. There’s nothing like biting into a slab of bloody meat. Obviously, I don’t partake in hamburgers anymore. So, when I learned that I could have a Cruelty-Free Extra-Juicy Cyber Burger, and experience a bloody hamburger without hurting animals, I jumped on it! Literally! With my mouth!

How it Works:

Slip on the Tasty Time VR Headset, and sit still for ten to twenty minutes as it drills a tiny hole to the part of the brain that processes taste. Then, plug in the cruelty-free simulation puck (It even resembles a hamburger! How cute!). The headset’s screen will ask the user where they would like to virtually eat the cyber burger: a Jack-in-the-Box, a company bbq, a drive-thru parking lot, etc. I chose a virtual bed, of course! Once the settings are optimized, simply bite into that juicy, bloody, meaty son-of-a-bitch. But guess what? Even though it looks, tastes, smells, feels and drips like a real burger, it’s actually just a simulation puck made of edible plastic! No animals harmed!

What I’m Wearing: The Sandwich Suit

I was thrilled to see that the 3rd Annual Yum-Yums of the Future Convention had a strong fashion component this year. I guess I’m not the only one who is recognizing the oh-so important link between food and fashion. With so much of our food moving to the cyber sphere, it’s important that we have an appropriate outfit to wear while in the Great Virtual Beyond. That’s where The Sandwich Suit comes in. Optimized to work with the Tasty Time VR Headset, The Sandwich Suit plugs into five different places in your nervous system, so that when you bite into a Cyber Burger or a Digital Sloppy Joe, it is a full-body experience. It also helps that The Sandwich Suit really accentuates my figure. What can I say?! I’m vain!

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It’s Bed Eater! I read the most inspirational self-help book this week, Your Inner Kool Kid: How to Murder the Boring Adult You Have Become. And I don’t say this very often, but it was life changing. The book poses a key question: if adults are allowed to do whatever they want within the legal limit of the law, then why aren’t there more piñatas? This question really resonated with me, because I feel like I’ve become so boring and lifeless in adulthood. So, I took a big step towards finding my inner kool kid, and I threw myself a one-person piñata party!

What I’m Eating: A Piñata

Unfortunately, throwing a piñata party posed a big problem for me: piñatas are usually filled with candy! Ew! Since I lead a super-healthy lifestyle, that simply was not an option. In line with my dietary morals, I chose an even tastier treat for my piñata: pickles! Did you know that pickles, especially movie theater pickles, are filled with Vitamin Y? This historically ignored vitamin is known to prolong youth, and is key to bringing out your inner child. This makes pickles the ultimate piñata stuffer! Remember, just because you’re an adult, doesn’t mean you can’t have a solo piñata party, and just because you’re having a solo piñata party, it doesn’t mean it can’t be healthy! 

What I’m Wearing: The Panty Party Dress by Greener-er Earth

Chapter Three of Your Inner Kool Kid: How to Murder the Boring Adult You Have Become, suggests that if you want your life to resemble a kid’s birthday party, then you must dress the part. I immediately took issue with this. Because, I’m not sure if you’re aware, but the manufacture and sell of (largely one-time use) party dresses has contributed to 11% of carbon emissions since New Year’s Eve 1999. Luckily, I came across Greener-er Earth, a clothing brand that uses only recycled lingerie and hosiery in their clothing. They just released a line of party dresses, and I instantly fell in love with The Panty Party Dress. It has a beautiful neckline, and is 100% made from reused underwear! If you’re feeling squeamish about an underwear dress, just remember that you’re saving the earth by wearing one, AND you’re looking oh-so cute! 

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Hey! It’s me! Bed Eater! I have never felt so amazing in my entire life. I feel like I’m walking on clouds, like I’m on air, like I’m bathing in the sun. No, I literally feel like I AM THE SUN AND I AM SHINING SO BRIGHT OH GOD, I AM EVERYTHING AND THE SOURCE OF ALL LIFE. And it’s all because of juicing.

What I’m Eating: Cold-Pressed Wet Juice

Juicing is a wonderful way to get nutrients, right? But what if I told you that there was a new juicing technique? Impossible! Well, I made the impossible possible with Cold-Pressed Wet Juice. I’ve been working on this in my laboratory for years now, and I have finally found the perfect formula for the sexiest, healthiest, happiest me! 

My Method:

Most people put fruits and veggies into their juicer, but that old method extracts just regular vitamins. If you’re like me and need a little more than the norm, then simply put juice into your juicer. That’s right: juice your juice! This process utilizes already extracted vitamins and strains them a second time, leaving you with “super vitamins.” The remaining liquid is what we, in the science community, call “wet juice.” Wet juice is wetter, healthier and prettier than regular juice! For an extra boost, add in a few tablets of gummy vitamins and ibuprofen to your wet juice! You will never feel more awake, more pain free, more God-like, or more ready for that 8pm yoga class! 

What I’m Wearing: Lady Lab Sleep Science 

I’m a huge advocate for STEM programs for girls, but I’ve recently noticed a huge setback for women working in the industry: lab coats are so uncomfortable! Luckily, with a little research, I found a company that makes lab coats fit for a queen: Lady Lab Sleep Science. Their lab coats are made to be worn on the job or in bed. Simply choose a lab coat that fits your work needs, and a coat lining that fits your comfort needs. Choose a silk lining, a fleece lining, a heating pad lining, or a sexy lace lining! They even make lab coat robes to wear over your lab coat! 

Lady Lab Sleep Science: Don’t Experiment with Bedtime

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Bed Eater here. I’ve always wanted to be a painter, but never had the time to actually put a bristle thing onto a paint board. It wasn’t until the other night that I finally put it into action. I was laying in bed, when an urge suddenly pulsed through my body, a fiery creativity born from the night. I knew that it was time. I needed to express myself. And so, I painted.

What I’m Eating: Paint

It goes without saying that I derive much of my creative energy from all things culinary. So, it only made sense to paint with edible ingredients. Not only does this allow you to paint with items found in your refrigerator, but the colors and textures will be unlike anything you can find at a dinky art supply store. Regardless of the medium, it’s important to experience your art with all five senses, especially taste. There is nothing more visceral than the marriage of food and art. Food is art. Art is food. I am art. I am food.

What I’m Wearing: DAS SMOHKQ

I have to admit that one of the things that kept me from painting all these years was the ugly smocks that are on the market. It’s really hard for me to make art when I’m not dressed my best. Luckily, I found DAS SMOHKQ, and my concerns about smock fashion disappeared. DAS SMOHKQ is the world’s only line of haute couture smocks. Whether you’re painting the walls of your home or working on your next great sculpture, you should do it with style. DAS SMOKHQ offers smocks inspired by fashion’s latest runway looks. I personally believe that if you are going to make art, you need to be art. I am art. I am food. I am art. I am food. I am art. I am food. I am art. I am food. I am art. I am food. I am art. I am food. I am art. I am food. I am art. I am food. I am art. I am food. I am art. I am food. I am art. I am food. I am art. I am food. I am art. I am food. I am art. I am food. I am art. I am food. I am art. I am food. I am art. I am food. I am art. I am food. I am art. I am food. I am art. I am food. I am art. I am food. I am art. I am food. I am DAS SMOKHQ. 

[bedeater-blog]

Howdy from Bed Eater! I feel like I should confess something... I love fall. I absolutely swoon for anything and everything autumnal. Pumpkin spice, the crunch of leaves under my boots, infinity scarfs, apples, cinnamon, soup, longer nights, tree bark, crispness, sadness, dread, eagle meat, the taste of freshly dried blood, corn.

What I’m Eating: Shucking

Speaking of corn, shucking! I love shucking. There’s nothing more pleasurable than ripping the skin off of a head of corn. Like, really tearing into it. I find it best to imagine that the stalk of corn is someone that you used to love, but don’t love anymore. They used to say that you were beautiful and magical, but then told you that you were crazy and ran away in the middle of the night. Just take a hold of the husk and yank it back, just like they did to your dreams. If you’re lucky, juice will spurt out and hit you in the face, just like real blood! How fun!

What I’m Wearing: Fall Flannel Fashion Hacks!

Do you love fashion? Have you ever had an ex-boyfriend leave behind flannel shirts? Sure, your impulse might be to use their old shirts in a ritual sacrifice or to burn them along with their other belongings, but in the spirit of recycling, I came up with these 4 great fall flannel fashion hacks!

Hack #1: Cut the shirts into underwear, perfect for that time of the month! Hack #2: Tie the sleeves around your neck to make a sexy halter top. That’ll show him! Hack #3: Wear it as a scarf! It’s crisp outside! Hack #4 (pictured): Take two flannel shirts, wear one as pants, and the other as a top. Just like that you’ve got a flannel pantsuit. That will surely remind him that you are A STRONG INDEPENDENT BUSINESS WOMAN AND YOU ARE TOTALLY OVER IT OKAY. 

And remember, Autumn is all about new beginnings! Like springtime!

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Toodle-oo! It’s Bed Eater! I just returned from the most amazing holiday across the pond, and honestly, I didn’t want to come back! The English lifestyle suits me quiet well, what with their adorable rain boots and calling zucchini “courgettes” and eggplant “aubergines.” No offense to any of my American friends, but we look like peasants in comparison! 

What I’m Eating: High Tea

Perhaps my favourite English custom is the practice of High Tea. When I returned home, I absolutely had to recreate it, and I’ve even written up a few tips so that you can enjoy it too! 

1. Use a multi-tiered serving tray for your drinks and goodies. Turn any old tea party into High Tea by simply elevating your scones, croissants and crumpets. Display these tea time accompaniments on a tray with at least two shelves. Without elevating your pastries, you would simply have “low” tea, not “high” tea! Oh my!

2. Invite only your classiest friends. I’ve divined the perfect test to determine who to invite to your fancy High Tea. Simply ask them whether they prefer the actress Maggie Smith or Meryl Streep. If they say Meryl Streep, they’re not fancy and never speak to them again! She’s not British! 

3. Serve High Tea at 4PM (British Time) If it’s not 4pm in England, then it is NOT APPROPRIATE TO HAVE HIGH TEA. YOU SAVAGE.

Bonus tip: Although it is traditional to serve a black tea, green tea has the added benefit of being full of antioxidants. So, if you’re like me, and care about your health, switch out the Earl Grey for a light and tasty green tea!

What I’m Wearing: Fiona’s Fanciest Feast Frocks

The most important thing about high tea is wearing your fanciest of outfits. You can’t have company over if you aren’t dressed your best! The mere idea! That’s why I choose Fiona’s Fanciest Feast Frocks for all of my High Tea needs. Her designs are both comfortable and undeniably elegant. Featuring floral designs, stunning necklines and appropriate pops of color, Fiona’s Fanciest Feast Frocks is the ultimate authority on proper teatime attire. 

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Its me, Bed. Hi! With the last days of summer coming up here right now, I thought it’d be a nice way to spend a nice afternoon if I had a little bit of wine and enjoyed the niceweather before it goes away with the wine. Okay. I love wine so when I was looking at wines and picking a wine I thought oh red wine is good let’s get a red wine ok

What I’m Eating: Wine

I love wine and I first had wine when I was a kid because my parents are cool and European and ever since that day I said wow I love wine and now I'm a grown lady and still love wine it’s been with me all this time okay. You have to know how to pick a wine and smell wine and drink wine right okay Only fancy people really know this stuff and I'm fancy so get out of here okay if you aren’t fancy wine because I don’t have time to explain wine to you. You either know it or you don’t okay pick a good wine

What I’m Wearing: ??>’

I don’t know what I'm wearing this time okay fine and it doesn't matter matter because if you drinking wine then yourself looks good in your very own wine. Wine has a calming effect when you drink it and its hard to explain but you just know that you are very beaitufil when drnkking wine. love you when you where wine. listen ok I love myself too and even more when I have a nice bottle that I pick out a wine store because the most important thing about wine is that if you're gonaa have some ogo to a a wine store that has a good selection because theres a lot of bad wine out there and we can't let that happen were good people I love you follow my blog okay I heave good recipe for food and sometimes wine okay people like my okay

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Kisses from Bed Eater! My life has been full of magic this week. I usually like to keep my love life private, but I can’t hide my happy news any longer: I’ve met someone! It’s amazing how serendipitously connecting with a potential lover can completely change your perspective. The sky is bluer. The grass is greener. Even food tastes better!

What I’m Eating: Franny’s Flirtatious Fruit Snacks

If you’re like me and have recently met that special someone (I hope I don’t jinx it! Omg!), then you’re likely in the market for a some sweet treats to give as a token of your love. I’ve always thought chocolates were a bit generic, so I was thrilled when I came across Franny’s Flirtatious Fruit Snacks. Franny makes life-sized gummy fruit snacks in the shape of human hearts, reproductive organs and brains (the true source of love). Not only do these make a super thoughtful gift for that special someone, they also happen to be delicious and, if you can believe it, vegan and gluten free!

What I’m Wearing: Bed Eater’s Stay-In/Stay-Out Sleepy-time Night Gown Stickers

Unfortunately, being in love poses something of a fashion conundrum. With spending so much time out on fancy dates AND so much time in the bedroom *wink*, finding a garment that accommodates both occasions is a challenge. Going out to the ballet with your new beau? Cozying up in bed not long after? Not a problem! Simply wear your favorite formal gown for your date, and when you arrive in the bedroom, pin on Bed Eater’s Stay-In/Stay-Out Sleepy-time Night Gown Stickers and your gown will instantly be transformed into something pajama appropriate. These adorable star and moon stickies will turn any formal gown into something perfect for the bedroom! Comfort is one stick away!

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Beep beep! It’s Bed Eater! Boy has my life gotten whacky! I am so ultra #blessed to have so many fulfilling opportunities in my life. Unfortunately, with being so terribly successful and all, I have less time to cook complex meals and relax in bed (my original passions). But I wouldn’t be Bed Eater if I didn’t have a solution! I’ve said it before and I’ll  say it again: I WILL HAVE IT ALL SO HELP ME GOD.

What I’m Eating: Go! Go! Gum Mix!

I’m always in a rush, whether I’m on my way to a gallery opening or just trying to get back into bed. So when hunger hits, it’s not always convenient. That’s why I always keep Go! Go! Gum Mix! in my pantry. It’s easy to prepare ahead of time. Trail mix is often touted as a not-so-heathy “health food,” but I beg to differ. Replace some of the fattening ingredients like chocolate or nuts with gum! Gum is oh-so filling, good for your teeth, and has 0 grams of fat per serving. With Go! Go! Gum Mix, you can ditch those unhealthy to-go snacks and hit the road with flavor!

What I’m Wearing: The Pajama Suit

It’s a well-known fact that every self-respecting, serious, successful, independent business woman MUST own a stylish pant suit. But what many power suit owners don’t know is that a true go-getter also needs a stylish pajama suit. I’m not going to tell you where I got mine, because a true lady of art and commerce never reveals the source of her suits. But find your own, because the true spoils of success cannot be enjoyed until you have felt your skin graze against the pure, unadulterated power of a velvet pajama suit.

Be beautiful in comfort. Be comfortable with success. The Pajama Suit.

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Bed Eater here. This has been a catastrophic week for me. I honestly haven’t been feeling my best lately, so I made an appointment with the city’s best nutritionist and allergist to have my temple/body checked out. That’s where I heard the devastating news: I have a soy allergy. I have long used soy as a mainstay in my diet, skipping meat and sometimes diary in favor for soy-based products. I don’t want to hurt any animals! Even though cutting soy out of my diet feels like the end of the world as I know it, I am confident that I will fight on and continue to be a fierce foodie!  

What I’m Eating: A Kidney Bean

Finding new proteins to replace soy has been a challenge, but I recently came across a kidney bean, and boy did it satisfy my needs! Compared to tofu or tempeh, a kidney bean isn’t as versatile or photogenic. But don’t fear, I have a great kidney bean hack. Dress up your kidney bean on the plate! Food presentation is so important because it heightens your senses before you even take a bite. So next time you are using a kidney bean to fill out the protein in your diet, add a little garnish or present it on your favorite plate, and the experience will be to die for!

What I’m Wearing: Trah Trah Couture

My diet may be undergoing a new world order, but my fashion sense certainly isn’t. Even though it was a touch out of my price range, I recently sprung for this absolutely gorgeous house gown by Trah Trah Couture. Their pieces are always a surprising mix of rugged and elegant, and having a dress from their 2017 collection is an honor. The beauty of fashion is that even in the toughest times, a new dress can help you express your feelings and remind you of your true self. 

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A Happy Hello from Bed Eater! I just read a life changing self help book, “Tiny Steps, Tiny Changes: A Better You” and it has transformed my outlook on life. It’s all about making small adjustments in your habits, little by little, and reveling in the subtle pleasures life has to offer. Even though I’ve only read a few pages of this book, I’m already feeling the impact! This book is LIFE CHANGING, and I do not use those words lightly.

What I’m Eating: Infused Water

The first chapter of “Tiny Changes, Tiny Steps: A Better You” is all about finding ways to slightly alter your current habits instead of making sweeping changes. So, I got to thinking, I drink water. Then I thought: I can never have too many vitamins. Viola! I put these two truths together and made the tiny step towards infusing all the water I drink with nutrient-rich foods!

Preparation

Fill your favorite clear containers with water. Make sure you have enough to last you a full day. Drop in your choice of healthy food items (in accordance with your dietary needs). Some of my favorite infusions are bananas, potatoes, eggs, sauce packets, pasta, crackers and fortune cookies. Let your infusions sit overnight. Drink up! Wow! What a fun and flavorful way to get your government recommended dose of vitamins and minerals!

What I’m Wearing: Slip Into the Night

I’m a huge fan of the environment, but I’ve always wanted to be MORE eco-friendly. It’s not enough just to talk to animals or hang out in nature every once in a while. In accordance with my new philosophy, I decided to take another tiny step in the right direction by shopping for my nightwear at Slip Into the Night. This nocturnal boutique recycles old dress and skirt slips into modest pajamas for the modern woman. Climate change is super serious, so do your part and shop for modest, locally-sourced, full-priced clothing made from used dress slips!

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Sunshine and flowers from Bed Eater! Everyone knows that the best way to celebrate America’s Birthday is with a solo bed picnic. Fireworks and hot dogs are a bit showy for me, and are SO horrible for the environment. I believe that July Fourth should be a time for quiet contemplation. I always celebrate with a modest meal and long think about what America means to me.

What I’m Eating: A Light, Chunky Tomato Bisque

This super light, chunky bisque is one of my favorite Independence Day treats. It’s super healthy and easy to whip up! 

Preparation

In a sauce pan, combine 2 cans of strained tomatoes and 3 cans of chunky tomatoes. Stir and cook on low for 17 minutes. Then add 3 tablespoons of tomato ketchup, 9 tablespoons of tomato paste and 1/2 cup of pizza sauce. Cover and let boil for 30 minutes. When a crust has formed, return the heat to low, add a handful of juicy heirloom tomatoes and a heaping dollop of grape tomatoes to garnish. Serve piping hot for a nourishing summer meal al fresco!  

What I’m Wearing: A Light, Fluffy Summer Jacket

The issue with summer fashion is that it often leaves you looking under-dressed and unsophisticated. Short shorts, tank tops and sun dresses can get old fast, so if you’re looking to make a statement this holiday weekend, then I recommend spicing up your summer look with a light summer jacket. Not only will it make your summer wardrobe more high fashion, but you’ll find the pockets to be practical, and the warmth oh-so comfortable (I even sleep in mine sometimes!). 

BONUS TIP: Use your summer jacket a swim suit cover-up! So versatile! So stylish! So hot!

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Happy Birthday to Bed Eater! That’s right, I’m a year older. But with each year that passes, I am more amazed with the strong, independent woman that I’m becoming. I know that I always preach about loving myself and making time for self-care, and this philosophy could not be more true than on my birthday! I always look to the words of Anton LaVey when it comes to birthdays: 

“You should give yourself a pat on the back, buy yourself whatever you want, treat yourself like the king (or god) that you are, and generally celebrate your birthday with as much pomp and ceremony as possible.” 

Truer words were never said!

What I’m Eating: Birthday Cake

I know, this is so cliche of me, but you cannot have a good birthday without a few slices of cake! I’m a bit of simpleton when it comes to cake: whip up a store-bought, organic, non-gmo, GF and vegan strawberry cake mix and top it with sugar-free icing and I’m in hog heaven. My favorite mix is from this fantastic little company called Guiltless Birthday Bash. Their cake mixes run on the pricey side, but since your birthday is the most important holiday of the year, hell, why not splurge?

What I’m Wearing: Birthday Suit Apparel

Don’t worry, it’s not that kind of birthday suit! Birthday Suit Apparel is a hot new brand that specializes in helping you find that perfect outfit for your birthday. They sell everything from birthday underwear and socks to birthday dresses and pajamas! Simply give them your date and time of birth, your family lineage and your favorite thing to eat on a Tuesday, and they’ll send you a package of everything you need to wear on your special day. It’s extravagant, but I deserve it! This day is all about me! I’m great! I love me! I’m never going to die! I’m immortal!