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Sitting in his lap would probably fix me

Ngl I would be bouncing on it all day

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THIS!! I love old men but not that way..

will die on this hill. the dad best friend fanfics that go into detail about how they have known you since your were 4 are disgusting and borderline disturbing. like your talking about having sex with a girl you literally watched grow up. ew. it’s creepy. like… no.

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🗼(they don’t have an Eiffel Tower emoji)

i just know they hit that one spot. every time. each thrust.

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will die on this hill. the dad best friend fanfics that go into detail about how they have known you since your were 4 are disgusting and borderline disturbing. like your talking about having sex with a girl you literally watched grow up. ew. it’s creepy. like… no.

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im actually losing my mind i need him so bad its not even fucking funny i just want him to hold me oh my god oh my god please please i would do literally anything

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HELLBOY 2004 | dir. Guillermo del Toro

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i need everyone to understand the poetry of curly turning a blind eye to anya’s suffering only to be robbed of his autonomy and voice as she was and then forced to observe jimmy’s crimes and the abuse of his own body

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I want to climb him like a tree

James Fitzjames’s looks rated: a thread

Have the post that absolutely nobody asked for because my thirst towards this man truly knows no bounds 

8/10. Taco hat kind of throws the look off but he’s still being fashionable and cozy and probably very very excited about icebergs. He’s still in a position to high kick all of his haters and that’s valid of him. 

11/10. Not to be horny on main or anything but this is absolutely one of his best looks, especially when he’s vagueing about Francis being salty towards him. 10/10 would absolutely tap this look. He could literally step on me while wearing this and I’d thank him. In other words, THIS IS AN EXTREME THIRST

10/10. MASTER HAS GIVEN FITZY A REAL HAT FITZY IS FREE. Also he’s like barely in this episode but we still appreciate a man because he’s trying his best

1000/10. THE SHEER SEXINESS OF THIS LOOK. THE HAIR CURLS. THE ONE OF LIKE A HANDFUL OF GENUINE SMILES THAT WE ACTUALLY GET TO SEE FROM THIS MAN. MY CROPS ARE FLOURISHING AND MY LOINS ARE ON FIRE

11/10 because he gets to wave a gun around while also being incredibly sexy and cozy. No I’m not giving it a lower rating because of what happens next. Let him have his moment of being an Arctic god or w/e.

2/10 because he still looks sexy but him looking like a gotdamn kicked puppy over Sir John’s death will never not be gutwrenching to me (also Tobias you need to stop doing these things with your tongue and shit it’s DISTRESSING ME)

7/10. The sweater looks absurdly comfy lads I’m not gonna lie, honestly, I’d steal that sweater from him if he wouldn’t like immediately kick my ass soon afterwards. Rating is lessened because I spent too long laughing at his SO I AM CONFUSION face, else it would be higher still. 

12/10 because not only is he wearing quite possibly his sexiest outfit but he’s also doing his best Collette from Ratatouille impression. KEEP YOUR STATION CLEAN OR I WILL KILL YOU

1845/10 (you can see what I did here ahahahahaha). Not an overall sexy look, but chewing your immediate superior out for making bad life choices and using Victorian slang absurdly casually along with Tobias Menzies’s excellent death glare? Take me. Take me now, sir. You don’t even have to hesitate. 

3000/10. The showrunners were absolute cowards for not letting him wear this outfit. ABSOLUTE cowards. I’ll go to their house and bang their doors down and demand that they let him wear this dress because he would have looked absolutely sexy in it. But also it might have been dangerous because the sheer godlike energy radiating from him if he’d worn that dress probably would have made my head explode or something. Perhaps this is for the better. Perhaps only having the dress worn in my dreams is a good thing. 

17/10. This is literally the best picture I can find because the lighting in this scene sucks some major ass but just know that his Carnivale costume is the most iconic out of the whole event, hands down. I don’t even care if he wasn’t wearing the dress. Just let me stare at him for a while (and also ignore the fact that IT’S SCURVY TIME FOR JIMMY FITZJIMMY)

900000/10. HAND HOLDING HAND HOLDING HAND HOLDING HAND—

STILL 900000/10 BECAUSE THIS IS FRANCIS HE’S LOOKING AT LIKE HE HUNG THE GOTDAMN SUN IN THE SKY DON’T @ ME I’M EMOTIONAL

100000000000/10 because a part of me will never truly be over how soft this scene is and how it ripped my heart out and stomped it into tiny pieces before gluing it back together. Are we bros, Francis. Are we fucking bros. Are we getting an Emmy like we fucking deserve Francis TOBIAS MENZIES EMMY WHEN

-200/10. We get to see Tobias shirtless but at what cost

10000000000000000000000000/10. IF THERE WAS EVER A MORE PERFECT DEFINITION OF BIG DICK ENERGY I HAVEN’T YET FOUND IT. I AM THE ONE DON’T WEIGH A TON DON’T NEED A GUN TO GET RESPECT UP ON THE STREET–

12/10. Me, getting emotional over James looking at Francis like he’s the goddamn sun???? It’s more likely than you think. 

-900/10 IT’S FINE BITCH WALK IT OFF YOU’RE FINE YOU’RE FINE YOU’RE FINE I DON’T LIKE THAT FEELS BAD SCOOB BUT YOU’RE FINE. OH GOD WE GON’ GET YOU SOME VITAMIN C BRO 

-90000/10 I HATE THIS I LITERALLY HATE THIS I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS DON’T @ ME I ANGY

-100000000000000000000/10 HEY THERE MISTER HICKEY THOSE SHOES LOOK AWFULLY FAMILIAR In conclusion, your honor: I love him (heavily inspired by @radiojamming​‘s Irving ratings, @theiceandbones​‘s Tom Hartnell ratings, and @bomburjo​‘s Goodsir ratings)

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joy in the terror (2018)

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daddy's got to be honest kitten. i don't think we're finding the northwest passage

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im actually obsessed with this style izutsumi is so cute i wanna squish her

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“Hehe boobs- oh my god”

Dvattra doodle dump

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foaming at the mouth

wyll in a fluffy sweater for your viewing pleasure

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screaming crying throwing up they're so cute

When all this is over, will you stay with me? For good?

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It had been years, almost a decade since the last time Simon Riley had sex. It wasn’t as if he was sexually inexperienced, but sex was just never something he thought about.

Until you.

You were a vixen, a muse, and Simon’s undoing. A simple smile from you would have the 6’4 soldier on his knees for you.

Never in a million years would he have imagined he’d be here, his cock buried inside of your tight little pussy as you called out his name. That he was the one making you feel this good.

It was as if the gods made you just for him, your arms molding perfectly around his neck, your legs just the right size to circle his waist, your pussy just the right fucking fit for his cock.

His eyes squeezed shut, his mouth hanging open as he threw every ounce of concentration he had into holding off his orgasm. Every fiber of his being was begging him to release, his hands shaking around your head as his cock twitched yet again inside of you.

Simon dared a glance at you, and felt his stomach tighten tenfold at the sight. You were so fucking beautiful, covered in sweat, your hair a mess, your eyes darkened with lust as soft mewls fell from your pretty lips.

Jesus.

He just couldn’t wrap his brain around how he ended up here, balls deep in the most beautiful woman he’d ever laid eyes on. A woman he’d silently loved for years now sprawled out naked below him, taking his thick cock like it was fucking meant for you. Maybe it was fucking meant just for you.

Simon fisted the sheet above your head, a growl escaping his swollen lips as he felt you clench around him. “Love, please, you gotta stop doing that.”

You moaned in reply, letting your head fall back further into the pillow behind you, your legs tightening around your lieutenants waist. The angle allowed for Simon’s cock to hit deeper within you, your pussy yet again clenching around him. “Feels so good, sir.”

Any ounce of self control Simon had vanished in that moment, between the glorious sight of you naked beneath him, the way your tight pussy was clenching around him and the way you just fucking called him sir? Simon was a fucking goner.

Before he could even comprehend what was happening, his cock was pulsing inside of you, his thick white cum painting your already soaked walls. Simon let his head fall slightly, burying in the crook of your sweaty neck as he let out a low groan. “Fuck!”

It took him a moment to catch his breath, and he hesitantly opened his eyes, expecting to find you looking at him with disappointment.

But when he looked down at you, he found you beaming up at him, a languid smile on your lips, your eyes still blown with lust. He watched as you took your bottom lip between your teeth, your eyes locked on his.

He felt you grab the back of his head, pulling his lips down to yours in a heated kiss, full of tongue and teeth. You let out a whine into Simon’s mouth, causing his cock to grow impossibly hard once more inside of you.

Simon pulled away with a breathless smile, his eyes locked on yours as he braced both his hands on either side of your head.

“Now I believe it’s your turn to cum, good girl.”

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WHWOOF IM SWEATIN

Cooking few meals for my Patreon:3