bigpaddybimpin

[bigpaddybimpin]

And when he looked at me with that grin

The toxins in my body blurred the lines

And suddenly I was seeing your face again.

- the after party.

[bigpaddybimpin]

Don’t worry about

Me. I will find someone else

That tastes just like you. 

[bigpaddybimpin]

When the cold autumn breeze flew—

It made me think of you.

- “Pages from a diary of a teenage girl”

[bigpaddybimpin]

ngl this is so me

[bigpaddybimpin]

On a day I do not remember

It’s chilly because of the breeze, but warm because it’s humid

The smell of bonfire smoke clings to our hoodies

Just as tight as we used to cling onto each other

We laugh because we are young

I didn’t worry because I did not have to.

On a day I do not remember

We smile every time our favorite songs play

We talk about some days and one days

The moon and stars are so visible during this time of year

We don’t think to cherish these moments

We didn’t worry because we did not have to.

On a day I do not remember

We are all still sober

We think a good time doesn’t need drinks or smokes

We were still a few no-names in a small town

But we swore one day we’d leave our mark before we hit the ground

It’s funny how the end hits you so quick

I didnt worry because I did not have to.

On a day I do remember

It’s chilly because of the breeze, but warm because it’s humid

The smell of the whatever someone nearby was burning clings to my clothes

Just as tight as I’m clinging onto our memories

I cry because you are gone

You said you’d take the blame

I worry because I did not have to

On a day I do remember

I cannot listen to our old playlists

Those days turn into no days

You always knew more about the stars than me

The moon watches me sob

I cherish those memories

I worry because I do not have you

On a day I do remember

I haven’t been sober in weeks

I haven’t had a good time in what feels like forever

No longer a no-name in a small town

But you swore you’d never leave me

[bigpaddybimpin]

Lie to me

Lie to me so I do not hurt

Tell me you hate me

Do not look at me

Do not tell me you love me

Tell me you hate me

Do not give me hope

Do not let me love you

Tell me you hate me

It’s easier to hate those who hate you rather than love what you cannot have

[bigpaddybimpin]

And one day

I realized he would not father the children we dreamed of

But rather the boy I told my daughter of as she cries so hard she cannot breathe

Just as I do now

[bigpaddybimpin]

Wind that chilled us to the bone

Warm hands for me to hold

Soft lips pressed against mine

Everything that will hurt me in time

The taste of you, the taste of me

The grit of dirt on your cheek

You wishing I didn’t have to go home

Now I’m the one you left all alone.