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biolizardboils · 2 months ago

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Hi guys remember that elaborate Captain Underpants And The Insidious Incident of the Infectious Inside Joke fanfic idea i had but never actually wrote ? Here's the Entire summary/rough planning document in case you wanted to know how it actually went (warning it is the entire thing under the readmore so it's Long):

George and Harold take note that the students of Jerome Horwitz Elementary seem a little bit off today. They're all smiling and giggling about something, though about what exactly is indiscernible—not to mention The Glowing Yellow Eyes. Oh well, surely it's nothing Captain Underpants can't deal with!

(It's something Captain Underpants can't deal with.)

(Maybe someone else can?)

Over the weekend, George and Harold are hanging out in the treehouse, staying up late trying to plan out a Captain Underpants Theme Song(TM) (It's the Weird Al one, they're the ones who came up with it in universe for this fanfic I guess)

eventually when it gets to be too late they go home and say they'll keep planning it tomorrow, Sunday.

Alas, Tomorrow Comes and it is /not/ Sunday, It's Monday -- Both of the boys lost track of time and forgot that it was Actually The end of the weekend. Both of them accidentally slept in, and are Late For School. They end up rushing to get there so fast that they don't notice something is Slightly Off about the passerbys of the city streets…passerbyes? how do you pluralize "passerby"-- I mean that A Bunch Of people are weird and have glowing yellow eyes and big smiles and George and Harold don't notice.

("why are they rushing they don't seem like the type to be concerned about being late" it's funny sorry)

Point is, they get to school and everyone there is Slightly Off too, who would've guessed? The students are smiling and a lot of them are formed into weird little huddled groups whispering to each other and laughing And Also They Have Glowing Yellow eyes. George and harold do, in fact, think this is a little bit strange, but probably don't take as much note of it as they should.

George: Why is everyone so happy? Harold: Maybe they read our comic and thought it was really funny. George: We didn't /make/ a new comic, we were busy trying to figure out that theme song. Harold: Oh, yeah. uhhh. They're still laughing at one of our older ones, maybe? George: You might be giving us too much credit Harold: We can never have too much credit. George: Hmm. yeah, that's true.

They eventually gotta go to their separate classes and they're like

Harold: Oh, we were so preoccupied that we didn't even come up with any big pranks to do… George: I've always got some quick backups! [pulls out a whoopee cushion for himself] Might not be the most elaborate, but it's a classic. [he takes out…another prank item, i don't know i haven't figured it out, and tosses it to harold.] Harold: [nodding] Classic.

So they part ways and go to their classes.

Cut to George's class, the other students are weirdly well behaved, sitting still and staring straight forward with the same smile plastered on their faces. George looks around, a little confused at their cheerful dispositions, but the teacher Ms. Ribble still seems to be normal and blah-blah-blah-ing boringly about Whatever Subject.

George decides to put his simple prank plan into action and tosses the whoopee cushion onto her chair as she's sitting down. She sits on it, it makes the Funny Fart Sound, she gets annoyed--but none of the other students laugh or react whatsoever. They continue their blank-smiled stares.

Ms. Ribble simply removes the whoopee cushion from her chair with an irritated look on her face and continues teaching. George is baffled.

(During that whole scene it's intermittently cutting to Harold's class, where The Same Thing Happens with his prank attempt. He is /also/ baffled.)

Anyway, at the end of their classes, the students file out of the door in a neat line (except for george and harold who kind of just walk past everyone else confusedly. as George leaves--in the background, one of the smiling students approaches Ms.Ribble. She looks at them indignantly like "what do you want" but then the student grabs her by the arm and yanks her down so they're face to face, about to Do Something--George doesn't notice at all and leaves before the interaction is completed.)

Point is, George and Harold meet up again in the hallway, and both of them Immediately ask -

George and Harold, simultaneously: What was THAT??? Harold: Nobody even -- George: There wasn't even a /single/ sensible chuckle at the whoopee cushion! How can you not chuckle at a whoopee cushion!? Harold: That's what I was about to say!!!! Nobody reacted at ALL! George: Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Harold: Something weird is going on! george [at the same time]: Something weird is going on…

They walk down the hallway for a bit longer, this time taking more note of the weird huddled groups of whispering students. They grow More Concerned.

Then Melvin walks up to them.

Melvin: Do you two know what's going on with everyone today? It is /very/ annoying. Did you put out another one of your juvenile comics? George: Actually, no. We're with you on this one, we have no idea what's so funny. Melvin: Hm. Whatever… I have calculus notes to study…[walks off to go to his locker] Harold: ?????? Calculus????

Melvin tries to get to his locker, but there's one of those weird huddles of kids (three kids, probably) in front of it. He tries to push past them and utterly fails.

Melvin: Uh. Hello? You're standing in front of my locker. [The children ignore him and continue whispering and laughing to themselves.] Melvin: /What/ are you /giggling/ at? The Children, all in unison: We learned a really funny joke. Melvin: …Right. Can you-- The Children: Do you want to know what it is? Melvin: If the explanation for your joke requires a lead-in /asking me/ if i want to know the joke, then it's probably too long of an explanation! I don't have time for this… [starts walking off] I can--

As Melvin tries to leave, one of the kids grabs him by the arm and pulls him back. He protests, obviously, but another one of the kids leans in and whispers something in his ear, then giggles. Melvin looks confused at first, and then his face shifts and he starts smiling like the other kids are. He laughs , and with a little blinks, acquires The Glowing Yellow eyes.

George and harold have been watching this entire interaction from the sidelines and are now Obviously concerned. Melvin notices them and approaches, like "They were right, the joke IS really funny :-) I think you two would like it, do you want to know what it is?"

George and harold Do Not. They run away.

As they're running in panic, they discuss how something is DEFINITELY wrong -- maybe before it could be denied, but melvin Would Not Say That. Also, some of the kids notice them and start chasing after them. They get to the front of the school and they're about to run out the doors, but Krupp walks up and stops them, crossing his arms.

Krupp: What do you two think you're doing? George: Principle Krupp! There's-- Krupp: You two show up late for school, run around in the halls which is /absolutely/ against the rules-- Harold: [gesturing to the weird kids] Mister Krupp, there's a-- Krupp: Don't interrupt me--and now you're trying to /leave/ entirely? Not on my watch! You two, my office, n-- George: [snaps]

Obviously Captain tries to do that thing where he rips off all of his clothes and yells his Mighty Battle Cry but George and Harold stop him like "No, hold on, you'll draw too much attention to us" and usher him out the door. They run back to the tree house.

In the treehouse, Captain switches back into his usual (lack of) clothes.

Captain: What's the situation, sidekicks? George: There's some sort of weird…happy humorous hivemind… Captain: Humorous happy hivemind, huh? Harold: Some sort of insidious incident of an infectious inside joke… George: Title drop Captain: What? Harold: [nodding] Title drop Captain: Hm! Well, I don't know what that means but all-in-all i appreciate the awesome act of alliteration.

So they explain in more detail what they're talking about, and decide they need to go out and try to find The Source of this weird hivemind plague and put A STOP to it!

Before heading out, they decide to stock up on supplies and Weapons for Self Defense… They look around the treehouse. George finds a slingshot and decides that's good enough. Harold is like "I swear I had something good around here, a nerf gun or something…" but can't find it. Captain helps look around and at first finds the plans for the theme song and he's like "Oh this is great :-D" but now is not the time for that of course . he finds a SuperSoaker instead and picks it up, pointing it directly to his face

captain: Ooh, what's this, a watergun? harold: DON'T POINT THAT AT YOUR-- captain: Kidding, kidding! [hands it to Harold] I learned to stop doing that after the first 15 times. george: 16 captain: Yes!

with that , They head out.

The people on the streets are, in fact, all weird and infeccted as well. Captain is briefly like "Hey what's the problem with this hivemind if it's making people happy that doesn't seem too bad -- [one of the infected tries to grab him violently by the arm] Nevermind that's weird [he punches them away]"

They try to figure out what could've possibly caused Whatever Is Going On, standing in an area with no infected to try and think. While the boys are trying to figure that out, captain goes "Well, atleast we can look at this lovely sunset while we wait."

The boys go "What ??? Captain it's the middle of the day, there's no sunset--" and then look to see what he's talking about and notice that part of the sky is, in fact, being tinted weird shades of orange and yellow by this ominously silhouetted glowing thing on top of a tall building.

It's a meteor. There's a giant glowing meteor that landed on top of a building in the city, particularly a building that boasts the city's Moderately Large Spaghetti Bowl Monument, a large empty metal spaghetti bowl + fork statue. It landed inside of the bowl, obviously, fitting perfectly and causing little structural damage to the rest of the building.

They decide to check it out. Captain flies them all over there, temporarily leaving the boys nearby on the ground below while he heads up to go confront The Meteor.

He flies up to it, inspects it closely, determines it to be Just A Weird Rock that doesn't hold any immediate threat to him, and turns away to give a little speech, "Worry not, citizens of this marvelous metropolis! This strange glowing rock stands no chance against the great warrior of waistbands!"

He turns back to notice that the meteor is glowing even brighter and making a weird charge-up sound, and does not process it in time to dodge when it shoots a giant laser beam at his face.

He falls to the ground, making a giant crater when he impacts the floor. George and harold shout "No!" and run up to check on him. he has little scrapes on his face from having fallen into the ground so hard.

so follows this one comic:

So they run away, of course--and Captain pursues them, of course.

So now they're running through the streets fighting off regular infected with their shoddy weapons [Watergun and Slingshot] while also trying to evade Captain, who is More Dangerous because he Has Superpowers. He starts trying to attack them by doing the underwear slingshot thing at them

Harold: No! I never thought the unlimited underwear ability would be used against us! George: What about the super strength and flight and stuff? Harold: I know, but the unlimited underwear thing is just so much more personal… George: [sighing sadly] Yeah, it is…

After a while of running, they end up cornering themselves in an alleyway, because that always happens in situations like these.

They try to figure out what to do, because they can't imagine their dinky little kids toy weapons would do anything against Captain, but they don't have much time to think because George gets Threateningly Grabbed By The Collar Of His Shirt and Lifted By The Infected Hero.

Harold panics and finally just shoots Captain in the face with the supersoaker.

He drops George, shutting his eyes while he shakes the water out of his face with a "Aughrublblsgjblrbh!" noise--and when he opens them again, the yellow glow is gone. And Also He is Very Angry and Confused looking.

Krupp: WBHUH. WHAT. [looks at Lack Of Clothes] Not this again! George, Harold, WHY am I--!?? [he looks at the boys for 5 seconds to see that they look genuinely afraid and panicked. He quiets down from his yelling, now too preoccupied Being Slightly Concerned to feel angry] Krupp: Why are you… [looks around for a little bit more and then notices the scrapes on his face] Why is my face-- George: Wait, Krupp isn't infected! Harold: [gasp] You're right! Krupp: What? [Harold grabs Krupp by the arm and start running out of the alleyway] Harold: We're going to the treehouse, now! Krupp: [now angry again] WHAT? CAN I AT LEAST FIND MY CLOTHES FIRST!? George: They're at the treehouse. Krupp: THEY'RE AT THE--!?? Of course they're at the treehouse, why wouldn't they be at the treehouse?

Cut to the treehouse.

Krupp angrily puts on his clothes and his toupee.

Krupp: You boys…have a /lot/ of explaining to do. [long uncomfortable silence] George: …I'm gonna try something first Krupp: What do you mean /try somethi/-- [George snaps at Krupp. This brings back the glowing yellow eyes and empty smile on Captain's face, and he immediately lunges at george to try and attack him again. Harold shoots him with the supersoaker.] George: sorry i wanted to see if captain was back to normal yet Krupp: AUAGABLBHRGHBL [shakes head] What /is/ that!? Stop doing that! George: Okay, okay! explaining now!

The boys explain the whole "there's a weird hivemind thing going on (We had nothing to do with it this time we swear), and everyone in the school got infected, and everyone on the streets is infected, and YOU got infected too--but we…splashed you with water…which snapped you out of it, and, uhh, uhhhh"

They neglect to mention Captain.

Krupp stares at them skeptically.

They decide to tack on "Also, you have superpowers…?"

/That/ gets Krupp to react--He goes "WHAT? That is ridiculous! This is another one of your guys' stupid pranks there's--" starts laughing incredulously "I DO NOT Have--" he immediately stops laughing "….what type of superpowers"

george and harold very casually list off some of them like "oh yeah uh, flight. super strength, super resilience, uhh"

krupp stares at the floor like "…i guess that would…explain that one time when…[cut to flashback of him accidentally levitating to get something off of a high shelf and then only noticing 5 seconds later] …and the…. that other time when [cut to flashback of him getting frustrated and slamming his head on his desk only to break the entire thing in half]"

george and harold look at him, saying "i bet he's having a sequence of comedic but also revelatory flashbacks right now"

Anyway, while Krupp is having a small crisis, The Boys huddle and talk to each other.

Harold: How are we gonna get out of this one? George: "This one" as in Krupp knowing about the super powers or "This one" as in the alien meteor plague? Harold: Both! George: Hmm. Look, I hate to say this, but I think with a situation as widespread as this, we may need… Harold: No… George: We need Good, Responsible adults on our team! Harold: UGH George: And with Captain out of commission, we just have "responsible!" [gestures to Krupp] Harold: I guess you're right…but who else even is there? It's not like any of the staff at the school would help us! george: [thinking] george: except for… Harold: Oh, right! Harold: [turns back to Krupp] You stay here, we gotta get someone Krupp: [preoccupied looking at a figurine of captain underpants]

To make a long story short, they go to the school cafeteria to get Edith.

they explain "EDITH! THere's a weird alien hivemind thing and and-and the. WE NEED HELP!!"

and edith really doesn't question it too hard before taking out a cast iron pan from Somewhere like "Okay i'll help you guys"

and then the boys are like "Wh. W. No you can't use a cast iron pan these -- that's like, an actual--that will concuss people"

edith proceeds to go "OH right right sorry so sorry" and takes out a stainless steel pan instead because it's a bit lighter. george and harold obviously object to this as well before edith chooses an actually acceptable kitchen weapon [fire extinguisher maybe? she picks it up and the boys are like "NO THAT WILL ALSO CONCUSS PEOPLE" but then she demonstrates that she's gonna use it by spraying the fire extinguisher and not by using it as a blunt force weapon and they're like "okay yeah that's fine whatever"]

The boys get back to the treehouse and climb inside.

Krupp: Oh, you're back. [putting down the paper with the captain underpants theme song planning on it, which he was holding for some reason] This place is an absolute /pig-sty/ by the way! Why does it smell like grape soda in here? You should-- edith: [climbs inside of the treehouse as well] Krupp: [immediately shuts up] Heyyyy Edithhhh [charasmatically leans against something and rests his head on his palm] edith: Benjamin Krupp [charasmatically Snaps And Does Fingerguns]

captain immediately tries to lunge at george and harold again but they shoot him with the supersoaker [they're not even scared this time they're just unamused] and they look at edith like "DO NOT snap at him." edith is like "Right right sorry I forgot." Krupp is confused.

The boys start explaining and planning like

Harold: Okay. We have to get to the meteor's building--and it /will/ be a dangerous journey. Since Krupp can't fly us there like Captain would've-- krupp: what? harold: --we've planned out an entire route by foot, each step we take will be meticulously calculated to avoid dangerous encounters and [insert overly planned and overly dramatic route drawn on a paper map of the city, insert the boys mentioning] … if we get into trouble edith can take one for the team and lure the infected away for us-- krupp: What!?? edith: [nods agreeably] harold: --because she's definitely smart and could survive on her own Krupp: AND I COULDN'T???

eventually after way too much explanation of their elaborate plan Krupp finally interrupts [almost snaps to get their attention but refrains and waves his hands/claps instead] to say "Guys. hey. Hey listen to me."

and the boys are like "What?"

and Krupp is like "I Have a car"

To make a long story short, they drive to the meteor building and go inside so they can get to the roof. In the building there are More Infected--with each level they go up the infected get More Aggressive due to their proximity to the meteor. Shenanigans ensue, montage of them fighting off the infected with their ridiculous weapons [supersoaker, slingshot, fire extinguisher, krupp doesn't even have a weapon he's just there] and also with each floor they're trying to get Krupp to figure out how to use his powers. He's doing an Okay Job at figuring them out but not A Great Job.

Also, the entire time the boys keep humming/singing the captain underpants theme song and krupp is like "Can you stop doing that it's annoying"

Anyway, eventually on one of the higher floors the windows are broken for some reason-- edith gets into A Scuffle with an infected person and uhh. gets shoved out of one of the windows. Krupp tries to grab her but fails, so she falls out of the building. Naturally, Krupp jumps out after her without the slightest bit of hesitation.

This concerns the boys greatly because to them it looks like the two adults on their team just died.

Obviously they /don't/ die, though. Krupp , falling, reaches out for edith , managing to grab her and finally figure out how to intentionally use his flight powers for the first time . He flies back up to the floor that George and Harold are at, holding edith in a bridal style carry with both of them looking utterly baffled, and Harold is just like

(old art haha)

Anyway. now that he can fly they don't need to scale up the rest of the floors of the building, they just fly up to the roof of the building.

Also, krupp by this point has begun humming/singing the captain underpants theme song to himself as well and george and harold are like "i thought you said it was annoying" and krupp begrudgingly admits "IT'S CATCHY."

Anyway, Meteor time!

I don't feel like typing the rest, it's just those two comics i made

(meteor: Well. well, well, you've made it to my-- The boys: It can talk! meteor: Yes, I am a--- edith: but it doesn't even have a mouth… meteor: Don't interrupt-- Krupp: Why can it talk!? meteor: Why can't you shut up?)

Anyway, Yada yada yada, they have a confrontation and a fight ensues. George is like "Let everyone go from your weird hivemind thing!" and the following comic i made happens:

anyway. The Meteor then shoots another beam at george and actually hits him because Krupp was too distracted waiting for an answer to help him dodge this time (krupp: WAIT NO)

(harold: No! George! D-: Why does this keep happening it's just like the anti-humor beam from the first movie krupp: [from across the room] The first what? harold: Nothing)

anyway george is infected now. he stands up Slowly and Ominously and starts walking towards harold to infect him as well or something [meteor's not just using a beam again for The Drama] and harold is like "George! No! Uhh, uhh--" he panics and tries to think of something to do and just ends up singing the captain underpants theme song that they were coming up with the day before. George actually stops his approach and freezes for a second.

Meteor: [confused] What are you doing? krupp: [alarmed] What are you doing!? harold: I DONT KNOW I JUST THOUGHT IT MIGHT HELP [continues badly singing]

Harold keeps singing and it does seem to stop/confuse george from going any further. edith also joins in. The meteor yells at them to shut up because the song is annoying. Harold is like "i think you mean it's Catchy :-)" and the meteor is like "No I do not."

Note to self. This would be a lot more dramatic in the actuual thing the summary document makes it sound stupid as hell but that's okay

extended period of silence before the meteor starts going "nananana captain underpants yeah yeah yeaaa" to itself and then it's like "GOD DAMN IT"

Anyway, point is, they all sing the themesong at it really loudly [krupp also joins in hesitantly] until the meteor goes "NO WHY IS YOUR MEMETIC COGNITOHAZARD MORE POWERFUL THAN MY MEMETIC COGNITOHAZARD!??" and gets annoyed/intimidated into Literally Growing Legs and walking away.

Conflict resolved! George is back to normal now. All is well. except george doesn''t seem super happy it seems like Seomething is on his mind still [thinking about the ethicality of Captain's existence]

They recoup at the treehouse again.

George starts guiltily explaining the entirety of the "we hypnotized you into being a superhero" thing to Krupp.

Krupp stares the entire time with an unreadable facial expression until George is done talking. There's an uncomfortable silence during which george and harold are expecting krupp to blow up at them.

eventually though krupp is just like "…wow. of course it was you. why wouldn't it been you?" in an oddly calm voice that sounds more relieved than angry

my explanation for why krupp isnt that mad by the end of the fic when he learns that george and harold did the hypno ring thing on him is because it takes place a relatively long time after the first movie [a year maybe? even over a year?] and during the first couple of months afterward he wasextremely mad and confused without an explanation but eventually resigned himself to just Not Having an explanation so now that he does have one he's just like "well. i should be absolutely furious but i already spent all of my furiousness now i'm just relieved to know not in a "im being nice and forgiving you on purpose" way more in a "i feel like i should be angry and i kind of want to be angry but im literally just not"

anyway, Another Awkward Silence Follows before george gingerly asks "uh…can we… see if captain is back to normal now?"

krupp is like "yeah whatever i've had enough of existing for today sure" and snaps at himself. Captain is, in fact, back to normal -- though he is also very confused and startled before george explains that they already saved the day and everything's good now.

uh, idk, Conclusion here?

The end!

#op this is GREAT #i was giggling the whole time and then “literally growing legs and walking away” DESTROYED me. icing on the cake #cu #story #long

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