bloodymeowcake

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I haven't seen dancing pumpkin guy ONCE this year, are you guys okay?

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"ohh my god you can't just-"

Am I yours to command? Does the collar 'round my neck have your name on it? I kneel to no king nor god, and I see no crown on you.

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From the media that brought you "Millennials are killing [insert industry here]" articles for years and years and years, now we have....

"Hey, Gen Z, we're gonna relabel vacations into something else now and tell you how you really should be wary of taking vacation because it might impact your financial future."

This is a goddamn dystopia, we know this, right?

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i can't find any measuring tapes so i'm using a novelty history meter stick. So far we're at Ptolemy: Geographia. I'm knitting until the Egypt scrolls evolve into books.

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This is Money Snake. She only appears every 312 years. 

If you reblog her picture within the next twenty-five seconds you will have good luck and fortune for the rest of your life. 

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Hey, in September, the US is going to launch of US-only TikTok. Don't use it. Come on now. State-sponsored bullshit that is being influenced heavily by the Heritage Foundation.

Leave it to the tradwives and the "alpha males" and the Ben Shapiro's of the world to yak at each other and go someplace else.

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that’s a good one

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Me picking a movie: aw I’ve wanted to watch this one for a while but it’s not in English and if I need to read subtitles I can’t knit…

My wrists: please watch the subtitled movie

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If you're reading this...

go write three sentences on your current writing project.

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Streamers say 'mods' the same way a medieval lord would say 'guards'

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there are so many words to use in place of “penis” in regards to smut. there’s dick. or shaft. we got cock. member. organ. length. hell, even manhood! all are acceptable replacements.

but what do we have for the testicles? nuts? no thank you. ballsac or, lord forbid, just sac? i’d literally rather be tarred and feathered. using their government name and just calling them testicles? take me out back and gimme the ol’ yeller treatment.

how has the english language evolved so much yet we have no acceptable word for testicles in a sexy context? how can we claim we’ve advanced as a society when the best word for describing when two characters are fucking nasty and the noble and mighty testes are swaying about is balls?

BALLS

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i always underestimate just how many people on tumblr are blogging from work. very beautiful. very powerful.

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my humor 2016