bluediocasach

[bluediocasach]

You need only to last a second, dear knight -

- reviled knight, whichever feels truest for this brief spell in which you live -

- this moment is the only challenge which you must best,

The only beast which you must slay.

Reach into your truest heart and vanquish this,

And the clock shall tick, and you shall be freed of this burden,

The torch on the second hand passed to the next champion,

For whose ease of passage - as much as you could - you have fought.

They look almost exactly like you as you meet them -

- except they wear the fortitudes and lightnesses you have won them.

You have not yet won the war but you have won for them this battle,

And so shall they, you trust, win theirs before the torch passes their hands.

You pass them your sword, your shield, and the favor of fair lady Far Future,

For she who to exist will be not a battle but a life.

They embark forth in her name and yours;

You may rest now, dear knight.

You embark forth in her name and theirs:

You only need to last this second.

[bluediocasach]

I am sipping mountain dew and it tastes like sweat in the air Like scuttling into the boys' locker room to retrieve the ball because I was the one who did things like that I remember it tasted much better the first time I had it Taken from the vending machine and the girl who believed that God saw all whispering that no one would know And poured into the solo cup we found sitting abandoned Split one third to two thirds, since I was the one who didn't pay

Though maybe the sweetness I liked so much was the flavor of doing something my mother didn't want me to Of sipping "if my teeth fall out of my smile then so be it Because it is my smile My smile" One third of a bottle in a solo cup of "I do not belong to you as a pretty porcelain doll to be perfect because I am yours I am not yours" The flavor of a moment's autonomy Laughing with her like she had forgotten God was watching The flavor of a moment's me Like sweat in the air Like scuttling into the boys' locker room

[bluediocasach]

I miss the way the winter kisses your smile Sitting in your car with you in the dark Warm A holy moment in and of itself As you hit the high notes And I sing along too

[bluediocasach]

Can you kiss me with your graphite lips Roughly paint me white and grey With black, black, black Dripping from my veins

[bluediocasach]

The air is blurry And fireflies flash insistently As I wait on my driveway for you to pick me up To do all the same things

I am alive and I love you And I can see the orange moon in the slate sky So I think that that might mean something

[bluediocasach]

I can't quite remember you anymore, But I can remember waiting for you: In the orange-hazy air pollution, Beneath the boughs of the mock-orange tree, Thinking that things must still be okay Because you were coming And there were still fireflies.

I am far from the mock-orange tree, And you are not coming every again. Things change, and that which I love always leaves me. The air in this new place is still sometimes hazy with pollution But there are still fireflies

[bluediocasach]

Where is your broken, bleeding heart? Where is the ache that rattles your frame? Where is the sob that wracks your chest? Where is the panic that sends you, gasping, to the ground?

Your fire, beloved, your fire - Where is it? Where are you?

I beg you, be burning - I beg you, be living - Let not your veins run so limp you can scarce feel your heartbeat, Be sputtering, guttering, frantic, be fervent. In these tempest winds, live the reality Of being such a brave, ardent flame.

Do not let it snuff you out. Lay not dull and quiet in this wretched night. Beloved, you are light, you are warmth. Allow not the night to grow cold in your absence.

[bluediocasach]

It does not befit you - To be lonely, sat in a quiet place. Beloved, you are Ardence, you are Love. Did she not say that you were fire? Did you not bring them light? Did you not bring them warmth? Have the voices most mattering not called you godsend, Favorite, safety, love, and care?

Snuff not yourself against the ground, Allow not the night to grow cold in your absence. A forest fire burns from careless, evil hands - You were not the hands, only the fire.

Fire takes shape beyond destruction, And you, beloved, have taken always the shape of love. When you fear your warmth you burn outstretched hands, yes. When you know your light you are everything, yes.

Fire brings life, beloved. Fire brings life. Allow not the night to grow cold in your absence. Warm us, light us, love us, burn us - May your sparks drift like stars.

[bluediocasach]

Beautiful ship, you have slain Theseus! He is dead, he is dead, he is dead, he is dead - Two months and you are barely even who he stayed to die for As his corpse rots upon your beloved boards

He should have known better than to love a fall-apart replace-it thing Whose only constant is the rot The rot, the rot, the rot, the rot - If only the rot might fall-apart too

If only you, dear ship, could kill the rot The way the rest of you has died and been replaced

Only if the rot dies too may you be free Your only true-stayed trait gone You may finally become a new ship

[bluediocasach]

Crawl, beloved, for you have done something vile.

Bare your knees to the sun-boiled sand until they blister, and the sand erodes your skin with sharp peeling to the bone.

Revel in it, for there has to be some depth of flesh which you can peel away to uncover beyond where the infection condemns you -

The infection

The infection

The infection

The infection.

And the sun shall revel in your revelation, for has it not always warned you about how vile you are?

It shall be so happy to see you bled and peeled to cleanliness.

The moon, soft love, creeps over the horizon and weeps, its face turned from full to new,

"My god, beloved, what have you done?

How could you bleed in the sand where I can see?"

The night is dark, the sand is cold now.

[bluediocasach]

wrath

hyperventilates, fetal in her unmade bed

and paints her lips red with her own blood

you should pray you never see her fight

[bluediocasach]

goodnight

foolish, sunburnt child

may you keep your peeling smile lines

and may the moon

treat you with more kindness than the sun