bowtifulinsights

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Will: Gilan? Gilan: Yes? Will: I stole baron Arald's jewel. Gilan: What? *confused* Why? Will: *stressed* During the feast, I thought it would be a fun trick. That he'd notice and we'll laugh about it. But then he didn't notice and I forgot and I brought it home... *shows the golden pin* Gilan: *stares impressed* Will: Say something! Gilan: Well. I'd offer moral support. But. You know. I don't have morals, so... How much do you think we could sell it for?

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Short king poll. I never understood height in feet but everyone uses that measurement so I had to search up what's the average height and it said like 5'7 or something.

All I know about measuring in feet is around 5'5 or something and lower is short or child, 6ft and higher is tall and 7ft and higher is cursed.

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crowley: your majesty, there’s only so much i can do about redmont.

duncan: you said you knew what their plans were.

crowley: i know what their plans are just fine. halt’s are chaos, but with structure, and gilan’s are chaos, but with… more chaos.

duncan:

crowley: you really ought to listen to how i phrase things.

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Lonely ranger this, orphan ranger that. What about rangers with kids? Give me a ranger dad™ showing up at the gathering with two little kids and "sorry, guys, my wife really needs a break" and everyone is so delighted because "look at those cuties, you need to bring them next year". What about two best friends assigned to neighbouring fiefs? Really, they work more in tandem than alone - "You want to talk to the ranger of this fief? Sorry sir, which one do you mean, the short one or the shorter one?" Give me the biggest extrovert who hates being alone in his cabin, so he does all of his paperwork alongside scribes at the castle, and thanks to that, is literally the only one who is up-to-date with his paperwork - "What's your secret with the paperwork?" "You need to find someone to suffer with you." Give me a ranger with a partner and kids and apprentice, and a cabin by the woods that is never empty.

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gilan: i could get killed. or even worse. halt

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Baron Arald basically went: Jenny you’re a cook, Alyss you’re a diplomat, George you’re a scribe, Horace you’re a knight and Will…you get a dad

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My newest headcannon is the reason that Crowley likes his coffee bitter is because Halt is bitter. Same goes for Halt, he likes honey in his coffee, AKA: Crowley

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Modern Ranger’s Apprentice Headcanons:

Halt has an ever growing collection of fuzzy, novelty socks because Will is constantly gifting him pairs

Will lives in oversized flannels

Halt is constantly arguing with Alexa and Siri

Will always leaves all the windows open and every night Alyss has to go around the house and close them

Horace has gotten into the habit of carrying around fidget toys for Will, who desperately needs them but can never remember them

Alyss and George are in a book club with a group of elderly women and refuse to let the others join

Horace and Will are part of a D&D group where they play a Barbarian and a Bard

Will spent so much time at his local coffee shop that they just gave him an apron and a name tag. He gets paid in coffee

Halt’s top listened to song is “The Archer” by Taylor Swift

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Ranger’s Apprentice Social Media AU

Season Five

pt One

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Gilan: “It’s really muggy out today.”

Halt: “If I go outside and all our mugs are on the veranda, I’m going to kill you.”

Gilan: *sips coffee from a bowl*

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*During a game of Hangman*  Will: Nope, there’s no Q. You lose.  Maddie: Are you kidding me?! You can still add something!  Will: I already added a belt, four earrings and an extra arm! YOU LOSE!

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alyss: you shouldn't be using a straw.

will: i know, i know, it's bad for the environment.

alyss:

alyss: it's just...

alyss: a really weird way to eat spaghetti.

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pauline, handing halt a letter: duty calls?

halt, skimming through: oh, worse. gil

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Somewhere in a tavern near Macindaw: local boozer: So, you live around here, in Norgate Fief, mandola boy? Will: *laughing and ignoring the word mandola, because he had too much to drink* No! local boozer: *suspiciously squinting his eyes at him* No? Will: *realizes he screwed up; quickly gathers himself and puts on a serious face* I live in the moment.

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Been rereading Ranger’s Apprentice this summer, so here’s Halt and his baby boys

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Will: Halt! Halt! Could you listen to this new song of mine- Halt: *raising his hand, reaching for a mug* See this cup? Will: *leaning closer* ...Yes? Halt: It's my cup of care. Will: *doesn't follow* What? Halt: It's my cup of care - and it's empty. Will: ...You said you forgave me for Greybeard Halt!