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Matilda (1996) dir. Danny Devito

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“You’ve no right to starve people, to punish them for no reason. No right to take away their life and freedom. Those are things everyone is born with, and they’re not yours for the taking. Winning a war doesn’t give you that right. Having more weapons doesn’t give you that right. Being from the Capitol doesn’t give you that right. Nothing does.” ― Suzanne Collins, The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes

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10 Things I Hate About You (1999), dir. Gil Junger

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Still Life with Irises (1890) by Vincent van Gogh

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The House of My Mother by Shari Franke

"My tendency to bottle up emotions, to present a stoic face to the world--are these echoes of an infant learning that her distress will always go unheeded? Even before I could form words or thoughts, was I learning that my pain didn't matter, that my needs were inconvenient?"

Rating: Unrated

Date Completed: March 13th, 2025

Genre: Nonfiction, Memoir

Review

Like a lot of people, I was obsessed with family vlogging as a kid. From Christmas hauls to Gymnastics meets, I was glued to any channel that presented what seemed a "perfect family." These channels always brought me a sense of comfort as a kid because my home life was light years away from perfect. A messy, emotionally abusive divorce cracked the foundation of my innocent youth years and I needed an escape from it all. That is what channels like 8 Passengers provided for me. As weird as the videos were, I learned everything about my first period and being a teenager from these channels. Little did I know these kids' lives were being exploited at the expense of my own void in my life and entertainment.

I think what shocked me most about reading this book was how much I genuinely missed in this videos. A lot of the warning signs were there and as a kid, I just watched and watched. I had no idea of the insanity going on behind the scenes and just how sinister the family vlogging business became for the Frankes.

I genuinely applaud Shari's bravery for documenting and walking readers through the trauma and horror she had to grow up with. Already, every single bit of her life was recorded and placed on a stage for the world to judge, and for the sake of the fans and the people who supported her, she revealed the truth. I hope she feels a weight lifted off of her shoulders by sharing the truth, rather than hiding behind a dark curtain of uncertainty. I think what puzzled me the most is how she stayed true to Mormonism despite everything she went through. I know for me personally, the church itself lead me away from Christianity. How higher-ups made decisions and even how regular people would interact and voice their beliefs changed something in me, and eventually leave Christianity. However, everyone's own journey with religion and self-identity is unique, so I really cannot compare my own experience to hers.

Overall, I enjoyed reading this book. I don't rate memoirs or nonfiction pieces like this because I don't think a person's story or trauma can be defined by a star rating. I'm lucky Shari revealed her truth and I was able to read about her experiences. Her bravery, grit, and perseverance is inspiring, and I am so glad I got this book for my birthday.

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Diary Entry #1 | 03/13/25

Columbus, OH ∙ 7:30 PM

Current Loves:

Kansas Anymore Deluxe Album - Role Model

Anything by the Smiths

My gifted Denim Jacket

My new Saie Lip Gloss

The warm weather !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yay first blog post! I decided to do this for myself so I can document the good things and in general events that are happening in my life. Unfortunately, I do not have the resources for a physical diary, or the time to make it look perfect, so I thought digital documentation would be more convenient.

It's almost the end of spring break! eek. It is actually crazy how fast college has flown by. I honestly don't remember high school flying by like this, but I also hated high school which probably caused the turtle-speed-like feel of it all. Reflecting on the empty campus and the city I am in has genuinely centered me. I remember how much I longed to be in Columbus and I am so so lucky to be here. However, there are a mixture of emotions that come with breaks and the loads of time alone I get quite often.

I remember thinking in high school how much I wanted time alone, how much I wanted to escape and be physically independent (because let's face it, I basically was). However, I have absolutely hated my own company through these 2 semesters. I'm not really sure why. I think comparison in college is just so different than high school. I'm an adult now and I feel like I am lagging behind the crowd. STEM has a good way of making you feel that way when in reality, the beauty of college is that everyone is on their own unique paths. There will always be someone 10 steps ahead of you, but their progress should not cloud over my own. Nobody actually cares in college and that's a great thing.

I feel that my internal frustration is caused by my lack of connection with my creative side. Throughout high school, I loved to read and write and do anything creative. I remember being a penpal during COVID, improving my calligraphy skills and crafting cute, little envelopes for the different people I was writing to. I read more than I sat in my own thoughts. But when I got to college, I lost that spark. I even noticed the dimming of that corner of my life during my junior + senior year, especially when my whole life was centered around working, paying my car off, and AP Chemistry. I have realized that I need to keep up with that part of myself in order to see myself improve and genuinely be happy.

Don't get me wrong, I love my major and the possibilities that come with it. However, I don't want my life being centered around Chemistry and Engineering. I loved history in high school and writing. I think it's funny how Humanities-centered I was in high school and I ended up in engineering. I have always wanted to be good at STEM because it has interested me so much. My major is *so* interesting to me and I can't wait to pursue research in it and have a job in it. I love the possibilities that lie in engineering. However, I do still enjoy the humanities, which is why I am going to try and pick up a history minor.

Current Life Things

Let's hope I can fit a history minor into my course map so I can try something new

Loved loved loved Roaming Goat coffee shop, 10/10 vanilla oatmilk latte

New goal: put away laundry right when it is finished instead of letting it sit in my bag (so we don't abuse the wrinkle release on every article of clothing)

Another goal: do well on the chem exam! at least a 90 pls.. (no caffeine this time--it makes me go insane)

Let's also hope I can land a job for the summer because i need money

I kinda want to get into running over the summer so that might be a new hobby (i need hobbies help)

That's all! I love this warm weather and I hope my overall mood will improve in the coming weeks. Birthday is also soon!!!!!!!!!!!!