burger2tall-blog

[burger2tall-blog]

The impaled pickle is doing everything it can to avoid touching the bun like a lost-bet prom date

[burger2tall-blog]

When a pudgy toddler slathered in grease waddles up to the sedan you're trapped under and thinks he's helping

[burger2tall-blog]

Pairs well with an arterial stent, but that doesn't matter. Does anything really matter when someone decided this is what they were going to do today?

[burger2tall-blog]

A failing test of structural integrity as each meat strata hemorrhages chipotle ranch sauce all the way down.

[burger2tall-blog]

A failing test of structural integrity as each meat strata hemorrhages chipotle ranch sauce all the way down.

[burger2tall-blog]

In which a gourmet burger chef plays god and gives sentience to a coronary obstruction. With its bacon-y arms spread, it begs for death.

[burger2tall-blog]

A colorful curlicue cockade colocates the confines of this culinary concoction, contemptuously cuckolding the consumer. Coleslaw.

[burger2tall-blog]

A magnificent example of the chef’s flagrant hostility to the person this particular burger is prepared for. Truly an impressive achievement.

[burger2tall-blog]

Several pickle slices have somehow eluded the pyroclastic flow of sauce cascading down this meat & bun ziggurat. Whether this is an arcane message, or an elaborate reverse-Jenga puzzle, few can say.

[burger2tall-blog]

When each member of Arcade Fire is asked to contribute an ingredient to a gourmet recipe.

[burger2tall-blog]

“Fake Plastic Trees” by Radiohead softly murmurs in the background.

[burger2tall-blog]

This particular fancy burger achieves two things: By requiring a steak knife to aid in structural support, it provides a sense of accomplishment for the user when unsheathing it like an Arthurian myth. Additionally, at garden gnome height, it becomes both ridiculous and terrifying in equal measure.

[burger2tall-blog]

“Beware of overconfidence; especially in matters of structure.” – Cass Gilbert

“Do you have a garden hose? Something I can clean up with?” - Guy Fieri

[burger2tall-blog]

This spire of meat and bun reaches toward heaven, one artesianal ingredient stacked upon another, stretching upwards to find favor of a hungry God up above.

[burger2tall-blog]

A teetering monument to culinary hubris.

[burger2tall-blog]

The fable of the Golem, with guac and cheese.