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The truth of it 🤣

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fuck em up gang

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good morning worm 🪱

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Can you believe i stared this series to try to help me to stop over rendering everything?

Someone requested Keyes! Here she is enjoying her spotlight

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Wait I have access to the data-dex pngs now I wanna re format this whole damn thing goddamn it.

I also have the text box png so that might be a fun way to format fics

Date Everything Horny Headcanons

Most of these are gonna be low hanging fruit because thats the sweetest and I'm too horny to be clever or proofread so be warned loong post under the cut

Sleep sex obvious thing is obvious but really what a way to wake up

Voice kink also obvious she likes her pillow talk

Is probabyly down for pretty much anything if we're honest. you just need to ask real nie

Certainly a brat in the best way she cant help but tease

As much fun as it would be not a pillow princess it think she spent far too long laying back and watching she wants to be in charge but shes the softest dom

Impact play! Impact PLay! Impact Play!

She does like taking things slooow

This isnt really based on anything but i feel like she'd be into stockings

Box breathing during aftercare

I do think hes a switchy boy

When he doms most sacchrine of soft doms saying the sweetest things while absolutely torturing you

I do think he likes to gag you just gently sushing you and telling you not to make too muh noise "youll wake the inanimals"

I think this escalates to public play going risky places and seeing if you can be quiet

Now when he's a sub Dacryphiliacs be still your beating hearts fuck i bet he looks pretty when he cries

Unintenionally disobidient as a sub he just gets really excited and cant help it but more than willing to be punished

Cockwarming

Aftercare lasts at least twice as long as the session

Tyrell is a goofball this does not stop during sex. Constantly saying silly shit mid thrust. Giggles turing to gasps. definately waking up sore the next day including your ribs

Service top sub the man wants to take care of you

look at that collar! he'd do well on a leash i think. he's a good boy! He'd be great on his knees

Paint sexhe wants to get messy but mud or anything brings back bad memories

Public play and exhibitionism i think with his jealous streak any group sex would be very very hot

Sex on the beach

Likes a quickie likes it often uite partial to zipper sex, and sundresses are his best friend

Only likes blowjobs if they're sloppy otherwise whats the point

Likes taking you up against a wall

Head in lap and words of affirmation for after care plus a towel buddy on standby or a bunch of them depending how intense a session

Toys, toys, toys no one can rival Benwha's collection but i think shes a close fucking second mostly classic toys noting too edgy except a zapper

Another switch (theres a pun there but idk)

Connie is the embodiment of fun she doesn't take herself seriously even as a dom

asks who do you belong to? in differnt voices and has def made you cum while talking like bugs bunny

luckily has and oral fixation though so if you get tired of that you can give her mouth somethimg more fun to do

bratty as fuck as a switch a disctint making you work for it mentality

orgasm denial and like to try to play things off like she didnt cum to be a brat

overstimulation very fun game you have of seeing how many times you can make her cum before she drops her voices.

Videogames are the go to afterare activityusually something like animal crossing or harvest moon

Power bottom sub needy but also very particular about what he wants and not afraid to say it

Tickling fetish (makeup brushes duh but feathers too) with some overstim too

Body writing but in a positive way you take turns writing sweet things on each other

I do think he'd like impact play different colors and shapes of bruises and def loves a good hickey

Very good at cumming on command feels better being told when to cum

Not a bratty bone in his body the only time he can really be still and quiet is in moments like this when hes on his knees

That being said if you did neeed a reason to punishment negative self talk is a common infraction he makes

Really deep subspace so he crashes hard favorite snacks for aftercare are gummies he liikes organizing by color before he eats them

spit roastin', spit roasting spit roasting

I do think they work incredibly well together telepathic levels of communicating Volt perfers threesomes eddie likes a bit of one on one

Im split (pun intended) on whether Eddie puts the work in in bed or whether he needs some sever pampering so i will have both eddie and volt are (breaker) switches

Volt as a dom is mean mean mean man uncompromising an absolute brat breaker

Volt likes wax play hot dangerous and requires precision yup yup yup

I also think breathplay is very Volt youre in very good hands livewire don't worry

As a sub i think Volt gets very soft a lot of glitz and glamour falls away and he's very obidient another very pretty crier

Loves a title and speaks yours with true reverence

Eddie loves bondage full hanging rig set upfor rope work when he knows he has time but also keeps bondage tape for ant wait moments

Intox kink getting you really vunerable and malleable a touch of degrade and cnc really likes remindig you when he's in control

Eddie's a brat he has something to say about everything you do and an eyeroll to accompany it

Primal play lots of teeth lots of scratching

Volt likes baths for aftercare Eddie likes chocolate milk and volt makes such fun of him for it

Obvious out of the way first temperature play, wax play, and shower sex oh and shes a squirter

I do think she's a dom does not like being told what to do

River loves dressing you up in latex and making you strip for her

Roleplay is still fairly obvious changing who you are for a moment yeah you get

Loooud in bed

Has an exhibitionist steak likes showing you off and gets very possessive at times

very greedy lover shes just constant bringing you to your limits and pushing further and further she wants to break you and put you back togehter

Pretty intense dom drop and lots of guilty likes shoulder rubs with massage oils

exhibitionist we know this

likes testing the boundaries of what his body can take now that hes not so delicate

paper cuffs is a favorite game of his likes showing off the restraint and discipline he has with no bondage necessary

oh yeah hes a sub

loves a handjob and edging lasts an insanely long time

never gets loud but his whimpers are very cute

likes taking you from behind

likes holding hands during aftercare and tracing the lines of your palms

Has a Bush duh

those rose shaped clit stimulators obvi but i think those rooster wake up timer vibes work for her too she's already a morning person but that just makes seeing the sunshine even sunnier

praise kink, praise kink praise kink

I could also see her as a puppy girl for sure she does love begging the cutie she's just a wiggly excitable thing

also loves public play gotta get out there in nature and...

primal play cnc of chasing her down in the woods her begging you to be gentle

leaning into the primal play fuck she smells and tastes good and i think shes got a thing for how you smell as well

I think hypnosis would also be fun for her she's quite suggestible but part of me thinks she's literal magic and whatever you say really happens

Mud masks during aftercare and she loves chocolately snacks which can and has gotten mixed up

One of the kinkiest bitches in the house the most powerful of bottoms a brillliantly breakable sub

Lets start with what we know blindfolds, exhibitionism, sexy dice, humiliation

The man's whole thing is he likes rules but he's def a brat hes got a mouth on him

Hard to get him to establish limits in the beginning really insistent that you can do anything to him as long as the dice say it but the contract you finally agree upon is massively long, colorful, and yes full of an albeit short section of limits

Free use

Nipple play also obvious but i forgot to say it at first you are in fact looking at them and he does not blame you.Quite the collection of clamps

yeah he's a masochist look at him

I do think fully immobilized bondage for sure

oh! those spikey wheel things idk what they're called but you know

a do not touch me after were done type person other than any first aid he wants you far away but still in the room while he plays solitaire

Roleplaying and dice we know

Service top switch even as a sub he's very much incharge

GnG session slash play party all nerdy kinky gamers dream of. in game statuses translated to real life blided, restrained, maybe intox stuff for the poisoned condition the possibilities are endless

I have an image of whoever is doming for the session in the DM seat with the sub on a saint andrews cross behind them

Denial and teasing for sure

Sit on his face sit on his face sit on his face

leaves you the filthiest voicemails with instructions for you

Bare handed Spanking

Roll offs during aftercare

Service sub (mostly)top Masochist I dont think this man can be broken canonically but boy would it be fun to try you could literally hit him with a truck and he'll be fine

Loves collaring a very in depth and thoughtful cerimony that felt insanely intimate

Loves the strap respects the strap lives for the strap

Safe word is wall

I don't have any other strong thoughts but i do think when you fuck (and he's not takinf the strap) you are not touching any surface he is all the support you need

Is the bigest little spoon in the world during aftercare you're pretty much a back pack

Willi is certainly bossy and ocassionally roleplays as your superior but deep down she's a pillow princess

she wants to take it slow and sensual

she has no qualms with telling you what she need, when she needs it and how she needs it

Very much takes you by the hand and shows you what to do

Not the kinkiest person but has an effortlessly dominant air that makes you want to do anything for her

Overstim her so you can tur her brain off

Sudoku and coffee ice cream during aftercare

Her place is your face. queening out constantly

loves a good phones sex session duh and dirty talk in general has been on call with you while running errands and its a delicious little secret

Polaroids of eachother and she's painted tons of naked portraits of you

loves being face to face during sex and makes the cutest faces

does like a bit of spanking and gets very giggly during it

Physically a space heater aftercare cuddles are so so warm

i gotta make a part two because this is too damn long and i still have a bunch of favorites

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Trans people with detrans and misgendering kinks please realize you can have standards you do not have to engage with actual transphobes to participate in these kinks you are allowed to have boundaries and limits

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I hc that doug could get clingy bc as existential dread, he hates being ignored/not thought of. He thrives off attention lol

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“i’m just so subby i can’t say no even when i really don’t want it” you are an unsafe play partner.

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secret deleted eddievolt scene from date everything not clickbait???

early access + nsfw on patreon

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Date Everything Horny Headcanons

Most of these are gonna be low hanging fruit because thats the sweetest and I'm too horny to be clever or proofread so be warned loong post under the cut

Sleep sex obvious thing is obvious but really what a way to wake up

Voice kink also obvious she likes her pillow talk

Is probabyly down for pretty much anything if we're honest. you just need to ask real nie

Certainly a brat in the best way she cant help but tease

As much fun as it would be not a pillow princess it think she spent far too long laying back and watching she wants to be in charge but shes the softest dom

Impact play! Impact PLay! Impact Play!

She does like taking things slooow

This isnt really based on anything but i feel like she'd be into stockings

Box breathing during aftercare

I do think hes a switchy boy

When he doms most sacchrine of soft doms saying the sweetest things while absolutely torturing you

I do think he likes to gag you just gently sushing you and telling you not to make too muh noise "youll wake the inanimals"

I think this escalates to public play going risky places and seeing if you can be quiet

Now when he's a sub Dacryphiliacs be still your beating hearts fuck i bet he looks pretty when he cries

Unintenionally disobidient as a sub he just gets really excited and cant help it but more than willing to be punished

Cockwarming

Aftercare lasts at least twice as long as the session

Tyrell is a goofball this does not stop during sex. Constantly saying silly shit mid thrust. Giggles turing to gasps. definately waking up sore the next day including your ribs

Service top sub the man wants to take care of you

look at that collar! he'd do well on a leash i think. he's a good boy! He'd be great on his knees

Paint sexhe wants to get messy but mud or anything brings back bad memories

Public play and exhibitionism i think with his jealous streak any group sex would be very very hot

Sex on the beach

Likes a quickie likes it often uite partial to zipper sex, and sundresses are his best friend

Only likes blowjobs if they're sloppy otherwise whats the point

Likes taking you up against a wall

Head in lap and words of affirmation for after care plus a towel buddy on standby or a bunch of them depending how intense a session

Toys, toys, toys no one can rival Benwha's collection but i think shes a close fucking second mostly classic toys noting too edgy except a zapper

Another switch (theres a pun there but idk)

Connie is the embodiment of fun she doesn't take herself seriously even as a dom

asks who do you belong to? in differnt voices and has def made you cum while talking like bugs bunny

luckily has and oral fixation though so if you get tired of that you can give her mouth somethimg more fun to do

bratty as fuck as a switch a disctint making you work for it mentality

orgasm denial and like to try to play things off like she didnt cum to be a brat

overstimulation very fun game you have of seeing how many times you can make her cum before she drops her voices.

Videogames are the go to afterare activityusually something like animal crossing or harvest moon

Power bottom sub needy but also very particular about what he wants and not afraid to say it

Tickling fetish (makeup brushes duh but feathers too) with some overstim too

Body writing but in a positive way you take turns writing sweet things on each other

I do think he'd like impact play different colors and shapes of bruises and def loves a good hickey

Very good at cumming on command feels better being told when to cum

Not a bratty bone in his body the only time he can really be still and quiet is in moments like this when hes on his knees

That being said if you did neeed a reason to punishment negative self talk is a common infraction he makes

Really deep subspace so he crashes hard favorite snacks for aftercare are gummies he liikes organizing by color before he eats them

spit roastin', spit roasting spit roasting

I do think they work incredibly well together telepathic levels of communicating Volt perfers threesomes eddie likes a bit of one on one

Im split (pun intended) on whether Eddie puts the work in in bed or whether he needs some sever pampering so i will have both eddie and volt are (breaker) switches

Volt as a dom is mean mean mean man uncompromising an absolute brat breaker

Volt likes wax play hot dangerous and requires precision yup yup yup

I also think breathplay is very Volt youre in very good hands livewire don't worry

As a sub i think Volt gets very soft a lot of glitz and glamour falls away and he's very obidient another very pretty crier

Loves a title and speaks yours with true reverence

Eddie loves bondage full hanging rig set upfor rope work when he knows he has time but also keeps bondage tape for ant wait moments

Intox kink getting you really vunerable and malleable a touch of degrade and cnc really likes remindig you when he's in control

Eddie's a brat he has something to say about everything you do and an eyeroll to accompany it

Primal play lots of teeth lots of scratching

Volt likes baths for aftercare Eddie likes chocolate milk and volt makes such fun of him for it

Obvious out of the way first temperature play, wax play, and shower sex oh and shes a squirter

I do think she's a dom does not like being told what to do

River loves dressing you up in latex and making you strip for her

Roleplay is still fairly obvious changing who you are for a moment yeah you get

Loooud in bed

Has an exhibitionist steak likes showing you off and gets very possessive at times

very greedy lover shes just constant bringing you to your limits and pushing further and further she wants to break you and put you back togehter

Pretty intense dom drop and lots of guilty likes shoulder rubs with massage oils

exhibitionist we know this

likes testing the boundaries of what his body can take now that hes not so delicate

paper cuffs is a favorite game of his likes showing off the restraint and discipline he has with no bondage necessary

oh yeah hes a sub

loves a handjob and edging lasts an insanely long time

never gets loud but his whimpers are very cute

likes taking you from behind

likes holding hands during aftercare and tracing the lines of your palms

Has a Bush duh

those rose shaped clit stimulators obvi but i think those rooster wake up timer vibes work for her too she's already a morning person but that just makes seeing the sunshine even sunnier

praise kink, praise kink praise kink

I could also see her as a puppy girl for sure she does love begging the cutie she's just a wiggly excitable thing

also loves public play gotta get out there in nature and...

primal play cnc of chasing her down in the woods her begging you to be gentle

leaning into the primal play fuck she smells and tastes good and i think shes got a thing for how you smell as well

I think hypnosis would also be fun for her she's quite suggestible but part of me thinks she's literal magic and whatever you say really happens

Mud masks during aftercare and she loves chocolately snacks which can and has gotten mixed up

One of the kinkiest bitches in the house the most powerful of bottoms a brillliantly breakable sub

Lets start with what we know blindfolds, exhibitionism, sexy dice, humiliation

The man's whole thing is he likes rules but he's def a brat hes got a mouth on him

Hard to get him to establish limits in the beginning really insistent that you can do anything to him as long as the dice say it but the contract you finally agree upon is massively long, colorful, and yes full of an albeit short section of limits

Free use

Nipple play also obvious but i forgot to say it at first you are in fact looking at them and he does not blame you.Quite the collection of clamps

yeah he's a masochist look at him

I do think fully immobilized bondage for sure

oh! those spikey wheel things idk what they're called but you know

a do not touch me after were done type person other than any first aid he wants you far away but still in the room while he plays solitaire

Roleplaying and dice we know

Service top switch even as a sub he's very much incharge

GnG session slash play party all nerdy kinky gamers dream of. in game statuses translated to real life blided, restrained, maybe intox stuff for the poisoned condition the possibilities are endless

I have an image of whoever is doming for the session in the DM seat with the sub on a saint andrews cross behind them

Denial and teasing for sure

Sit on his face sit on his face sit on his face

leaves you the filthiest voicemails with instructions for you

Bare handed Spanking

Roll offs during aftercare

Service sub (mostly)top Masochist I dont think this man can be broken canonically but boy would it be fun to try you could literally hit him with a truck and he'll be fine

Loves collaring a very in depth and thoughtful cerimony that felt insanely intimate

Loves the strap respects the strap lives for the strap

Safe word is wall

I don't have any other strong thoughts but i do think when you fuck (and he's not takinf the strap) you are not touching any surface he is all the support you need

Is the bigest little spoon in the world during aftercare you're pretty much a back pack

Willi is certainly bossy and ocassionally roleplays as your superior but deep down she's a pillow princess

she wants to take it slow and sensual

she has no qualms with telling you what she need, when she needs it and how she needs it

Very much takes you by the hand and shows you what to do

Not the kinkiest person but has an effortlessly dominant air that makes you want to do anything for her

Overstim her so you can tur her brain off

Sudoku and coffee ice cream during aftercare

Her place is your face. queening out constantly

loves a good phones sex session duh and dirty talk in general has been on call with you while running errands and its a delicious little secret

Polaroids of eachother and she's painted tons of naked portraits of you

loves being face to face during sex and makes the cutest faces

does like a bit of spanking and gets very giggly during it

Physically a space heater aftercare cuddles are so so warm

i gotta make a part two because this is too damn long and i still have a bunch of favorites

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I’ve seen posts where the Homeowner appologizes to the ohjects in their house when they bump into them even before they get the glasses but consider: homeowner who calls objects baby and darling before they get the glasses. STAY WITH ME cause I do this and have for so long so play in the space with me.

Bumping into a door or accidentally slamming the fridge shut and saying, “Sorry darling.” The lights flicks and they go to the breaker box with encouraging, “You can do it beautiful, you got this,” as they try and get the power back on. Throwing something away and absentmindedly saying, “Thank you, baby,” to the garbage for taking their trash.

Then the dateviators come and they suddenly become so aware that they probably shouldn’t call people they barely know pet names so it all stops. One day they put on the dateviators to see a small crowd gathered looking a mixed between annoyed, worried, sad.

Bev: “Did we do something to upset you?”

Dorian: “You can be honest. We just want to know if you’re alright.”

MC: ?????

Cam: “It’s been weeks.”

MC: “Since???”

Freddy: “Well… you know, Cool Kid.”

Cam (pissed): “Don’t act like you don’t know, baby.”

Thats when it clicks that everyone misses the sweet nicknames and wants to be doted on again. Its cleared up that the MC isnt mad and was just trying not to be weird, but clearly should go back to calling everyone pet names.

Bonus is when they’re giving Cam trash with the dateviators on he will just stare afterwards and not tell them to leave until they give him a “Thank you, Baby” even tho they now know cam likes trash and should be thanking them. Doesn’t matter though cause the light flush on his face is worth it.

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amir bending u over n making u watch urself in the mirror :3

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

it was no secret that amir adored you - so it didn’t really surprise you when that bled into how he treats you during sex.

he bends you over the bathroom sink - or perhaps your dresser - anywhere that has a mirror for him to force your gaze towards.

“look at you,” he purrs as he drags himself in and out of you at a tantalizingly slow pace. “such beautiful faces you make, azizam.”

he holds your chin, making sure that the only thing your eyes can focus on is your reflection. he coaxes your back into an arch, ensuring that you feel every inch of him.

if your eyes dare to look elsewhere - perhaps to the side out of embarrassment, or at his reflection instead - he halts his movements with an “ah ah, look”, until you fix your gaze.

and if you dared to try and close your eyes altogether, well, now he’s just offended. “mh? oh, don’t want to look at all at my lovely reflections?” instead of stopping like usual, he’d just go harder, practically bullying your g-spot so much that your eyes have no choice but to squeeze themselves shut from the pace. “you don’t want to look, then i’ll make sure you couldn’t even if you changed your mind.”

he treats you so well afterwards, of course; his aftercare involving no shortage of praise and gentle cleaning, but you’ll still never be able to look at yourself in a mirror without his voice echoing in your mind.

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in an age of sexual conservatism it is up to YOU to be an insane pervert every chance you get

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more voyeur dateables plspls, when u have ideas cuz personally i have none rn but i loved the concept!!!

ohohohoho dw anon, i gotchu i gotchu! ive been slow cooking and now im ready to serve!!!

☆ﾟ°˖* WARNINGS: Suggestive! Pre-dateviators, Nonconsensual Voyeurism from the Objects (is that the right term?), Oblivious GN!Reader/Homeowner, Possible OOC cuz brother it is hard writing in general.

☆ﾟ°˖* CHARACTERS: Amir, Betty, Celia, Curt and Rod, Dirk, Hector, Mateo, River, Shadowlord/Skips, Tyrell (whoo boy that's a lot!)

☆ﾟ°˖* SYNOPSIS: These are some of the objects who had a front row seat in your nightly activities and well.... don't you want to know what goes on inside their head when they're watching you? (they didn't mean to really!)

☆ﾟ°˖* NOTES: I have not played through Hector and Mateo's route yet - because im saving them for last in my current playthrough so im sorry if they in particular sounded OOC

☆ﾟ°˖*Amir

Amir does his job best, to reflect back your gorgeous visage with gusto and an ongoing stream of praise even though you won’t be able to hear any of it in this lifetime, but that hardly stops him as he always finds himself cooing and muttering how beautiful you are when you grace him with your presence in his many reflections.

So really, it’s both a blessing and a curse for him to be placed by your dresser where he can reflect back the whole view of your bed and your shivering form.

How he aches to have you turn yourself towards him, to let him see and watch how you work your fingers on you. It’s torturous, only being able to hear your quiet gasps, the muffled whining from your pillow or the desperate moaning as you reach your peak.

Oh, how you torture this poor mirror azizam.

Don’t blame him when he starts thinking of various positions you can do to properly show your beauty in all angles.

But what he truly longs for is to be able to see your face clearly, without anything obscuring your beauty so he can see how you would close your eyes tightly and grit your teeth to keep your sounds from spilling out once you climaxed.

Oh how he longs to see it, and hopes that he would be able to be the one to bring out all kinds of faces you can make for your pleasure.

☆ﾟ°˖*Betty

Your bed is the last thing you see and feel, and the first thing you wake up to when your alarm rings or when some stream of sunshine manages to slip past your curtains to rudely wake you up.

Betty always tries to savor that feeling of your body sinking down the mattress or you using and clutching your pillows in your sleep. With your job, you’re always so quick to leave her in the morning and only have so little time to sleep in her after having another overtime.

And imagine her happiness when you have a day off today! Despite the sun already up and Timothy already done with his job of waking you up, you just quietly slip back under the covers and not a minute later until your breathing slows that you’re back in dreamland.

She’s glad you decided to sleep in, you definitely needed it after many sleepless nights in that dreadful job of yours. And she won’t deny that she missed you.

You weren’t exactly immune to wet dreams, a fact that Betty knows with her whole being. So when she feels you grinding yourself on her sheets, well, she missed this too.

It’s really hard for her, being this close to you yet never being able to touch or hold you in the way she wants. She watches you with lidded eyes, wondering just what kind of dream has you this hot and bothered.

Oh she fantasizes so many things, maybe it was a hot coworker of yours, or ohh maybe it's a gorgeous stranger that asked you for directions, hell maybe it's that favorite barista of yours.

“Please…” You mumbled in your sleep. How she wants to help you, to embrace you and whisper sweet nothings in your ear as she works you off.

“Go ahead honey, grind on me.” She whispers to you, watching as your hips go frantic before stilling and a quiet moan following. Then you’re fluttering your eyes and she imagines that you’re actually seeing her, that your silly smile was for her.

But it’s not, she watches you rise and a curse falls from your lips seeing the mess on your pajama pants, then you’re already leaving her to start your day.

☆ﾟ°˖*Celia

The first time it happened was an accident really, the other times though, we’re not.

Really it’s hard to not watch you when she's literally the ceiling for crying out loud. There’s only so much she can do in this state.

With how chaotic the house can get and the growing piles of complaints (most of them being Beverly and her bar or Lux) Celia needed a way to wind down from her duties.

Chairemi’s plays and her dearest Florence is a big help until Chairemi is on her day off and she doesn't want Florence to worry for her.

Watching you hump on your pillow was… quite entertaining. The way your hair clings to your sweaty face or that tantalizing arch of your back when you speed up.

Well, don’t tell Chairemi but she much prefers watching you get yourself off than her plays.

You were a delight. Even when she tries to look away or busy herself with reading another one of Tony’s projects, just a little sound from you has her turning her head to your form.

Enthralled on the way you chase your pleasure and those shivers of yours– there’s no object in this house who wouldn’t watch you.

She may not show or say it but she’s always waiting to watch the next time you’re feeling particularly horny.

☆ﾟ°˖*Curt and Rod

Oh lord…

“Did you see that?”

“Shut your mouth, I’m trying to watch–”

“So am I but you got to admit that was really cute when they–”

“Shhh!”

Not even when they’re watching you fuck yourself, they still wouldn’t shut up.

This is one of their favorite things to watch, more than throwing shades to poor innocent strangers just walking by outside. It’s almost at a tie with throwing shade at each other. And you should be honored (even though you wouldn’t know that until a certain sunglasses arrives).

One of their favorite positions of yours is when you’re on your back and just when you’re about to get your release, the way you throw your head back jussst right has them seeing your blissed out face as you ride out your high.

Damn you really do look cute like this.

And that’s the ONLY time they’re both quiet, greedily watching your chest rise and fall as you bask in pure endorphins.

But there are those moments where they’re both spewing absolute filth while watching you, and if you could only hear the kinds of things they say…

“Look at that.”

“I’m looking.”

“Don’t they look cute riding that pillow?”

“Yeah but I think they look better bent over.”

But most of the time it’s just them arguing.

“Wow they’re close already?”

“Oh so you can talk but I can’t?”

“Yeah cuz I can’t listen to them with your grating voice.”

“Grating?! Now I know that’s a lie–”

“SHHHH!”

☆ﾟ°˖*Dirk

He’s your clothes.

There’s literally nothing else I can say.

He’s the first to know your arousal, the one who can feel your growing wetness in your underwear when you’re busy writing away your very erotic smutty fanfics on Mac. The one who can feel your desperation as you squirm in your seat when the heat is getting too much.

Dirk absolutely revels during your writing session.

The way you cross your thighs together has him reeling, and if he closes his eyes then he can imagine he’s in between it, the feeling as you wrap your thighs around his head, and he can almost practically taste you.

But it never last long when you start stripping him off of you. Depraving him from the main course.

He almost cried when you had to throw him back to Harper.

If there was a ranking on which object has touched you the most: Dirk is winning that one (sorry Stepford).

☆ﾟ°˖*Hector

He didn’t mean to watch you, honest!

But he is a weak HVAC and he cannot stop himself when he’s being lured in by your breathing and groans that are akin to a siren's call.

He already sees you so highly and perfect but watching you has whet an appetite he didn’t knew he had.

Some part of him is aching to help and be of use for you, watching you pleasure yourself is a blessing but oh how he wishes to help you. You don’t even have to say a word, you just need to lay down and beckon him– ever the servant he is for your needs and pleasure, he will do everything he can to make you happy.

But alas, he is not the object that is deserving to be near you let alone touch you. His looks will surely disgust you. :(

After seeing you so exposed and in your most vulnerable has plagued him with such haunting images and thoughts.

And maybeeee he wrote those things into a story, a very detailed story of things he’s only finding out about himself. :3

Oh darling not only are you so perfect and lovely, you even inspired him!

☆ﾟ°˖*Mateo

Another he-didn’t-meant-to-watch! Pt.2

Unlike Hector who can only watch through the vents, Mateo has himself tangled in between your thighs.

Is this heaven? Yes, but he’s so embarrassed and flustered and it only got worse as you started grinding against your blanket (him).

Oh god, it feels good and you feel good so this is alright, right?

He doesn’t know if he can survive this honestly… And he actually doesn't want to survive it.

Because with how soft and warm your thighs are, he doesn’t want to leave or for this moment to end quickly.

He watches, he hears and he can feel you all at the same time. This is too much for him! It's both overstimulating but yet still not enough - and he feels horrible for thinking about how your skin and touch would actually feel on him.

The way you clutch onto him as you’re nearing your peak is almost like you’re pulling on his hair - which he didn’t know he was into.

You pulled your blanket closer to you, exhaustion already pulling you to sleep, aftercare thrown out the window as sleep takes you over.

With your slow breathing and your calming heartbeat is starting to lull Mateo to sleep as well, and his day was exhausting helping and caring for the inanimals, so maybe it’s fine for him to take a rest.

That was the best sleep he had in a while.

☆ﾟ°˖*River

There’s hardly a moment where you aren’t using water in your day-to-day life. Cooking, washing, cleaning and bathing as well. Your literal body is just water. Through it River has gotten to know you so well and quite intimately.

You were off to relax in your bathtub as a reward for surviving another horrible week at work and god you deserved this. The water, warm and filled with scents of lavender and roses from a bathbomb you used, is just the remedy for your aching muscles.

River is more than familiar with your body. She has each slope, curve, and beauty mark of yours memorized, and once you step inside your bathtub she was more than happy to embrace you once more.

Everything was the perfect definition of relaxation, your stress and frustration melting away and instead leaving a heady feeling as you slowly caressed your thighs, inch by inch your hand nearing closer to your nether region.

It’s the first time you’re doing this in your bath but unfortunately your horniness prevails as you slowly work yourself up with each touch.

It’s also the first time for River and a few denizens inside the bathroom to see and hear you pleasure yourself outside the bedroom, they can sometimes hear you but really they only get scraps of information from the others who gotten front row seats, but even then they only had to use their imaginations to paint the picture of you.

And how truly lovely you look as you work up a sweat on your forehead, glistening all the while under the light. Those descriptions the others gave did not do you any justice at all - or maybe it was just the lack of imagination for them, who knows.

Waves of water splashed and spilled but River couldn’t care, too focused on watching you and all the little twitches and shivers you made. Right now it feels like it’s just you and her in your own little bubble. (If you only noticed how the water started to get a little warmer but your head is long gone into that familiar space.)

There’s something so intimate to all of this, her embracing your body and being able to touch and feel you in her liquid state. The way the water surrounds and drips from your body is quite alluring.

When you finally come, River watches the way your release mixes and fades in the water, leaving no traces of your debauchery. Maybe later after seeing Winnifred she’ll have to paint lavenders and roses as a souvenir.

(Bonus, because I love the second bathroom objects)

As you go and start cleaning yourself off with Tyrell, unbeknownst to you there’s a lively chattering in your bathroom happening right now.

“Ohh, didn’t they look so cute!” Bathsheba was only the one so excited and gushing over your little show, the others lost into their own worlds all except for a certain rubber duck.

“That was really pathetic, I mean- coming already when it hasn't even been 10 minutes? Really ducking embarrassing.” Rebel said with a sneer as they floated around inside the bathtub.

“But they were cute, weren’t they Rebbie?” There was silence until a groan and Rebel swishing across the water.

“Ducking… I guess…” That reply seemed to be enough for Bathsheba as she glanced around the room to see the other’s reaction.

“Oh I know I have the exact same blush color to match around here… hmm, did I place it in the plants collection or the food collection…” Barry was off looking all over for that blush, Tyrell and Amir are busy doing their jobs while Jean Loo… Is busy staring into space, red faced and all that.

☆ﾟ°˖*Tyrell

It’s his job to clean and soak up all kinds of liquids you encounter or spilled (except mud), he takes pride and does his job dutifully.

Doesn’t mean he isn’t embarrassed when you go and start rubbing him over your chest, to your stomach and down, down to your sweet thighs.

Look, he is a professional. He has dried you up multiple times, he’s made for thi– OOOKAY NOW YOU’RE DIRECTLY WIPING HIM TO YOUR STAINS, OKAY.

This part of his job is a privilege only he has– unless you decide to use your clothes to wipe down your mess (damn you Dirk, that’s his job).

Even through his embarrassment, he prioritizes you and your comfort, so he has to be extra fluffy and warm when you’re doing your aftercare.

Too bad towel buddy isn’t here - they’re a kitchen towel - if he could, he would shape towel buddy into your favorite animal.

Something for you to smile at after you're done with your ‘activity’.

☆ﾟ°˖*Skips

He’s there, he always is. Just creeping at the crevices between furniture and even under your bed, once the sun’s down he’s free to move room by room, watching and listening to the happenings between objects but that’s not what he wants to see.

Slipping past Dorian’s shadow it seems he’s just right on time, your clothes thrown in a corner and you, the most gorgeous human he has laid his eyes on, just started with your little ‘show’.

He wonders how you’ll react, that your once empty and lonely house is actually filled with so many people, and all of them who are so curious about you.

How would you react after finding out that almost a dozen pairs of eyes are hungrily watching and taking in your naked body, your wanton moans that reverberate in your bedroom or how you leak and stain the covers and blankets of your cum.

It’s unlikely it’ll happen, but that hardly stops anyone from fantasizing about you and what they could do to you, their dear human.

So he watches just like the others, taking it all in as you sped your hand to chase that high, your other hand settling on teasing and pulling your nipples, cheeks red and a bead of sweat trickling down your neck.

He watches and waits with bated breath, you’re getting closer to cumming, just a bit more and– there you go.

Those sharp inhales and gasps you take is music in his ears. The tension in your shoulder drops and you sink back into your mattress, you’re probably feeling quite content now he’s sure.

He stays to watch you after you’re done cleaning up and once you're settled under the cover he’s quietly slipping past back to the shadows of a globe.

Your nightly activities became his respite. And it’s embarrassing but you somehow bring such comfort from your presence alone.

He wonders what you would be like if you met him, would you play along with Shadowlord and his ritual of collecting his armaments back? Would you like his true form – Skips Shadley even when he looks completely different as Shadowlord? He wonders if there’s a possibility for something to bloom between the two of you.

But then he thinks about Benji, and his hurt and loneliness is back crashing in waves.

Besides, it’s silly and stupid about thinking of being able to talk with the human, it’s just wistful fantasy and daydreaming on his and the other object’s part.

[but-make-it-bi]

Got a voice kink? That's cute. Want a voice note? Bonus if you like a deep voice with an accent. 😌

[but-make-it-bi]

being fucked so hard from behind that you collapse forward and then they lean over you and use their weight to keep you completely pinned so you can’t do anything but whine and take it