calamitykathy

[calamitykathy]

"I sort fics by kudos and only kudos on stories with high kudos counts, why aren't there more stories with high kudos, I ran out of things to read." You're part of the problem.

"Authors artificially inflate comment counts by thanking people, I can't find anything with a real comment count to read." No they fucking are not, they're grateful for engagement.

"I can't read anything under 100k." That's the majority of fics you're ignoring, most novels aren't even that long.

"I don't have time to look for the incredibly rare diamond in the rough, so I won't read anything below a certain amount of kudos, comments, and hits." Those fics are popular because people gave them a chance and then snobs like you found them.

"I won't read anthing with a single typos." You made typos in that sentence, get off your high horse.

"One singular author didn't thank me for commenting, I'm never commenting on any fic again so I don't get burned." You're punishing people because someone didn't give you engagement they don't owe you that they might not have seen.

"This fic is three months old, it's so old, it doesn't matter if I comment or kudos, it's old." Fics do not have expiration dates, comment and kudos.

You're killing your fandoms with your snobbish behaviors.

[calamitykathy]

The way he granted her one last moment as a princess… that's the kind of love people write novels about.

[calamitykathy]

My wonderful friend wrote this amazing Penthony story. She is still working on it but what her to get some more love for her amazing story. 💕

[calamitykathy]

he is always with her in her worst moments

[calamitykathy]

Luke Thompson and Nicola Coughlan need to be in a romcom together. Let’s make it happen. @netflix

[calamitykathy]

Can I have a smutty dictionary? Or a list of smutty words?

Sure! Now, this is definitely incomplete; these are the ones I use most often. If you have any to add, please do!

“The Smut Writer’s Dictionary”

Arousal/Anticipation

hot

warm

burn

ache

heat

swell

red/pink flush

roil

dizzy

foggy

rush of [heat, for example]

heavy

heady

intoxicating

thick [air/atmosphere]

thrum

ignite

desire

pulse quickened

tempt

tantalizing

throb

excite

prickle

tingle

turn on

What People Look Like

disheveled

blissed out

eyes glazed over

eyes rolled back in head

flushed

sweaty

glistening

mouth open

eyes closed

General Movement

clutch

crawl

slap

swat

smack

nuzzle

fidget

squirm

fast

slow

lift

fold

embrace

melt into/against

bend

shove

wiggle

wriggle

tuck

glide

clenching/unclenching

General Touching

caress

graze

brush

stimulate

flick

massage

skim

drag

shiver

goosebumps

flutter

grope

fondle

pet

pleasure [as in: pleasured himself]

nudge

stroke

feather-light

tease

probe

wander

knead

capture

grip

Kissing/Rimming

suck

bite 

nibble

lick

slide

wet

flick tongue at/against

bite

bury [his face] in

ravish

dip [tongue into]

weave lips together

capture [his] lips

press a kiss against

drop a kiss to [body part]

Noises

grunt

growl

moan

groan

sigh

breath hitching

gasp

sharp intake of breath

exhale

cry

keen

whimper

whine

hoarse

ragged

garbled

strangled

croak

shout

Verbs for Speaking

breathe

whisper

sigh

gasp

groan

moan

grunt

growl

order

snap

spat

cry

murmur

mumble

beg

whimper

whine

croak

Preparation

finger

open [himself] up

work [himself] open

pump [fingers/toy] in and out

spread

shove

slick/slicken

lubed [himself] up

Blow Job

lick

suck

envelop

wet

mouth at [something]

slobber

dripping

flick tongue at/against

blow

drool

Hand Job/Masturbation

pump

twist

squeeze

rub

fondle

cup

stroke

palm

tap

grip

Dry Humping

grind

rub

rock

hump

roll hips together/against

Fucking

push in

press in/against

slide in

breach

pop in

bury [himself] in/into/inside

in to the hilt

penetrate

sink down on

split open

tight

fill

roll

thrust

drive

pound

rock

bounce

buck

slam

meld

frantic

fuse

pace [fast or slow, for example]

clench

grind

Orgasm/Words for Feeling Pleasure

come/cum

climax

peak

topple over

fall over

tumble over

let go

spill

contract

convulse

writhe

quiver

shiver

shudder

shoot

tremble

ejaculate

pulse

pulsate

twitch

arch [his back]

blissed out

spasm

burst

reeling

throb

tremor

ecstasy

swallow

shockwaves

release

spurt

jerk

Taste

tangy

sweet

bitter

salty

Smell

musky

heady

intoxicating

tangy

sweet

Cooldown/Cleanup

sticky

sweaty

glistening

chest heaving

wipe

dab

wash

spent

soften

flagged [as in: his cock flagged]

fulfilled

satisfied

left reeling

cuddle

snuggle

plaster [as in: plastered themselves together OR plastered to each other’s side]

flop around

boneless

limp

Words to Describe Cock

cock

dick

shaft

tip

ridge

hard

firm

glisten

thick

length

red

flushed

engorged

throbbing

quivering

twitching

Words to Describe Feelings/Touches/Movements/Sensations

gentle

soft

rough

hard

fervid 

feverish

fervor

passionate

vulnerable

exposed

sensual

silky

fleeting

prickle

tingle

tender

warm

electric

spark

Misc. Smutty Words and Phrases

with abandon

need

want

overcome

erupt in [goosebumps, for example]

pliant

viscous

erotic

long for

yearn

yield

urge

bloom [as in: color bloomed across his cheeks]

intimate

relax

vigorous

thrill

[calamitykathy]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Bridgerton (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Anthony Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington, Benedict Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington, Anthony Bridgerton/Benedict Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington Characters: Anthony Bridgerton, Benedict Bridgerton, Penelope Featherington, Minor Characters Additional Tags: Regency Romance, Threesome - F/M/M, No Incest, Oral Sex, Vaginal Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Cunnilingus, Tower Bridge Sex Position, Romance, Simp Anthony Bridgerton, Simp Benedict Bridgerton, POV Penelope Featherington, BAMF Penelope Featherington, Penelope Featherington Needs a Hug, She will get a lot more than hug, Author’s first threesome, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Not Beta Read, Wet & Messy, Intimacy, Emotional Sex Summary:

During Colin Bridgerton’s engagement ball at Aubrey Hall, guilt stricken Violet Bridgerton forces Penelope to dance with almost every available bachelor. But the viscount and spare are nowhere to be seen.

When Penelope managed to escape the ballroom, Benedict Bridgerton appear with a promise of respite, but should she trust him?

—

2025 Rare Pair Week - Everybody loves Penelope - Day 5 (Make You Mine - Claiming)

[calamitykathy]

Chapters: 1/3 Fandom: Bridgerton (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Penelope Featherington/Lord Fife, Penelope Featherington & Portia Featherington, Penelope Featherington & The Bridgertons Characters: Penelope Featherington, Lord Fife (Bridgerton), Portia Featherington, Original Male Character(s), Eloise Bridgerton, Colin Bridgerton, Anthony Bridgerton, Benedict Bridgerton, Gregory Bridgerton, Violet Bridgerton, mentions of Philippa Featherington, mentions of Prudence Featherington, Original Female Character(s), Original Characters Additional Tags: Mafia AU, Enemies to Lovers, Arranged Marriage, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blood and Violence, Trauma, Guns, Knives, Weapons, Penelope is Lady Whistledown persona, Penelope the cyber menace, Fife the ruthless blade, mentions of attempted assault, mentions of attempted sexual assault, Rivals, Sabotage, Arguing, Explicit Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Masturbation, Masturbation in Shower, Fucking, Possessive Sex, Possessive Behavior, Reluctantly Falling In Love, Fighting As Foreplay, Wedding Planning, Sex, Sex Toys, Vaginal Sex, Oral Sex, cmrr95 and m_luthien’s 2025 Rare Pair Week - Everybody Loves Penelope, 2025 Rare Pair Week - Everybody loves Penelope, More tags to be added, DO NOT POST ANYWHERE ELSE, Rare Pairings, Rare Pair, rare pairs, Alcohol, Organized Crime, Crimes & Criminals, crime syndicate Summary:

Penelope Featherington hated champagne. Mostly because it always came with bad news. And the bottle chilling in the silver bucket on her mother’s granite counter glittered like a warning. “Darling,” Portia cooed, draped in silk the color of new money, “this is the opportunity of a lifetime.”

Kitson Fife didn’t beg. Not for territory. Not for loyalty. Not for his life. And yet tonight, as his father laid down the law like a judge passing sentence, he’d nearly fallen to his knees and done the unthinkable.

For 2025 Rare Pair Week - Everybody loves Penelope

[calamitykathy]

non-writers will never understand the mental illness of writing an entire conversation in your head while doing dishes and then forgetting every word the second you open a blank doc

[calamitykathy]

Let’s make it happen @netflix

Luke Thompson and Nicola Coughlan need to be in a romcom together. Let’s make it happen. @netflix

[calamitykathy]

My wonderful friend just finished another wonderful Benelope story. Please go and read, kudo and comment. It’s so very good and I’m proud of her. 💜💜💜

https://archiveofourown.org/works/66158578/chapters/170513077

[calamitykathy]

this shit sucks. wish bulbasaur was real . 

[calamitykathy]

Happy Birthday Luke Thompson

We adore you 💜🤭

[calamitykathy]

Update: Blue Ain't Your Color

Chapter 15: Sweet nothing Penelope finally voices her doubts about getting married.

Status: Work in Progress (15/?)

*Pen/Fife HEA - If you do not like this ship, just skip*

[calamitykathy]

Hi everyone 👋

Sorry I haven’t been on too much. I’ve been writing a lot. I hope to have some new stories ready to post soon.

[calamitykathy]

Luke Thompson and Nicola Coughlan need to be in a romcom together. Let’s make it happen. @netflix

[calamitykathy]

Update: Anthony's Pizza

Chapter 13: Back to You

Anthony surprises Penelope with an early birthday gift. Penelope surprises him back.

Status: Work in Progress (13/15)

*Pen/Anthony HEA - If you do not like this ship, just skip*