calcifiedunderland

[calcifiedunderland]

It’s hard work but someone’s gotta do it

Jade and Floyd Leech

[calcifiedunderland]

Hello :) I have an Angst/ Comfort writing prompt for the leech twins (separate please, but Floyd is my personal favorite) with a smaller, very “aware of their surroundings” Fem!Reader (or Gen!Neutral Reader). ((I wanna play into the twins mafia allegations 🤣)

She has her head on a swivel and it’s usually unconscious from growing up in a shady neighborhood in her world. Can’t sneak up on her. The twins have tried.

Reader has gotten close to the Octavinelle Trio and spends most of her time around them. Enjoying their company and exchanging street smart knowledge with them.

One day, reader and the twins go out on the town together to run some errands for monstro lounge. While out, they stop for lunch at a café.

Out of the corner of Reader’s eye, she sees a familiar glint from the other side of a window and is shouting at the twins to get down! Grabbing them and instinctively covering their heads with her body as the glass explodes. They tumble to the floor for cover as chaos ensues.

Then the twins smell a smell they’re all too familiar with. Blood.

Reader goes limp while still protecting the twins heads, loosing consciousness from the pain. Her back horribly shredded.

The twins work to get their dear friend to safety, and then they go hunting. Turns out the attacker was an enemy of their father.

My questions;

How would the twins punish their attacker?

How would they react to realizing this paranoid little minnow saved them, and maybe realizing their own feelings for reader and it being put into perspective because she got hurt actively saving them from likely a fatal blow?

How would the twins help her heal & would they get possessive/overly protective till either she was healed and they calmed down… if the twins ever did calm down?

OP!!! you DELIVERED with the angst/comfort prompt!!! THANK YOU FOR THE FOOOOOOOOOD 💙💙💙

Aight Here we go *slams hands on table* okay. So I ended up writing more than I should have. ITS FULL SCENARIO TIMEEE

💙You were a careful person. That much was easy to know, because somehow you always knew when Jade and Floyd were sneaking up on you.

💙Floyd would try to glomp you, but somehow you always knew when he was there and move out of the way, making him fall flat on his face. He always thought it was funny.

“Shrimpy! How’d you do that?!” Somehow, you managed to spot Floyd coming from around the corner and down the hall, ducking in time for him to launch himself on top of poor Ace. Floyd merely grinned at you, ignoring Ace’s groans. You shrugged, “I’m just built different.” You dodged his swipes at your legs and hurried on, leaving Ace and Floyd tangled together.

💙Meanwhile, Jade was a lurker. He’d watch you from afar, hand posed over his heart while you merely hummed and continued with your work. When he slowly walked up behind you, you’d merely turn and smile at him unfazed.

“Hello, Jade. Is that a new species?” You nodded to the mushroom. His smile only widened, “Yes, I just got it from this morning’s hike. Care to try it? I have a new dish in mind~” he’d chuckle deeply, eyes never leaving your form. You were a strange human. Strange, and careful.

💙Surprisingly, you got along well with the Octavinelle trio. You moved past their attempts to take Ramshackle, and became pretty good friends with the twins. You’d share street knowledge and tips you’d learned over the years.

💙They’d share some tips with you, too. Sometimes they’d allude to it, but you got a different vibe from the Leeches. Sometimes Jade’s smile was a little too sadistic when things got out of hand. And sometimes Floyd’s eyes got a little too manic when he squeezed someone he really didn’t like.

💙You picked up knowledge here and there, but you pieced together that, at least, Jade and Floyd’s family was not a normal family. You’d never gotten straight answer out of them, but you had an idea.

“So, what do your parents do?” You sat on the bar, swinging your legs. The twins were closing up in the Lounge, with Jade washing the dishes and Floyd drying them. Jade chuckled deeply, while Floyd grinned sharply at you. “Ya sure you want an answer, Shrimpy?” You merely swallowed and leaned back. Conversation over.

Now, let’s set the scene~

💙One morning, the two of them were outside Ramshackle. You were blearily rubbing your eyes when they invited you out to scope a rival café. “It’s on Azul’s tab~” Floyd sing-songed, looming over you. You nodded, smiling slowly. “Let me get changed.”

💙While you were out, the three of you ran errands for the Lounge. Sourcing new ingredients, talking to investors, and other things. You and Floyd started playing hide-and-seek while Jade handled the negotiations. While you dashed around for a place to hide, you recognized a person in a trench coat.

They’d been following you for a few stops now, but hung outside the buildings, been a customer, etc. You frowned deeply, lost in thought. You jolted when Floyd poked you from behind.

“Boo!~ Gotcha, Shrimpy!” You turned to him, wide eyed and heart racing. He frowned, “thought ya would’ve heard me sneakin’ up on you. Are you good?” You turned, seeing the trench coat had disappeared when Floyd caught you. You swallowed, “yeah, I’m fine. Just seeing things.” You hoped you were, but you knew you weren’t.

💙Floyd started complaining about being hungry, and you were getting peckish too. So, you all went to a nearby café on the way back to NRC. You sat near the large glass window, and Jade paid for you meal. “It’s on Azul,” he said with a grin, pulling out a black card. Hehe, nice.

💙Still, you couldn’t really relax. Not after seeing that person over and over again. Come to think of it, you recognized a lot of people in the café from earlier on, throughout your day. You could feel your heartbeat in your throat. This wasn’t right.

You tipped your head up, scanning the cafe. Something was off. The two men near you got their pastries nearly half hour ago but never even touched their food, and the woman on the other side kept looking over at you. No, not you, you realized in horror, at Jade and Floyd. They hadn’t even noticed it, since the woman was glaring at their backs.

From the large window of the cafe, you saw them. Trench-coat-lerson slowly ambled to the window. They subtly tossed a small round object to the ground and walked off at a quicker pace. Your eyes widened and you couldn’t get up fast enough.

“Get down!” You shouted, reaching up as high as you could and shoving Jade and Floyd down. “Hey, wha-“ Floyd complained before the window shattered.

Your ears rang, and your consciousness dipped in and out. You felt a dull throb on your back as you slowly slipped unconscious.

💙Floyd rubbed his head, groaning, while Jade looked only a bit frazzled. Perhaps this was one of the Family’s enemies at work. They just didn’t expect you to be caught in the crossfire. When they realized you were injured - glass shards cutting into your skin, your shirt shredded from the impact, and you were knocked out cold - they shared a dark look. Someone will pay for this.

Now, how do they react?

💙Floyd would be shocked, but not surprised that you tried to protect them. You were always protecting your little guppy friends, but he never expected you to protect…him.

💙Floyd would feel white-hot anger when he realizes you got injured trying to save him. He’d want to immediately hunt down the perpetrator and *ahem* seek revenge, but when he realizes just how badly injured you are, he’d barely hold it in. Getting you to safety is the top priority. Open wounds are bad in the sea, so getting you patched up is more important than vengeance.

💙Jade would be slightly more surprised at your saving them. You always had a way of surprising him. He usually stayed aloof, but he couldn’t help feel touched. A shrimp like you protecting him. Ha. Jade’s first instinct is to check on you first, so he and Floyd get you to safety first. While you’re getting treated, they both stay in the room, and begin talking in low, dark voices.

💙Jade would immediately realize that it was a Leech family enemy that targeted them. His mind is reeling with plans of revenge, while Floyd’s just shaking with anxiety and anger. Jade is a thinker, and is generally unrattled and still on the outside, while Floyd can’t stop fidgeting and bouncing his leg and rubbing his nape in agitation.

So, once the two of them get you back to NRC safely, they begin plotting…

💙I think the twins have No Chill when it comes to anything. They’ll definitely be very overprotective of their dear Shrimpy, and you’ll be waking up to the Tweels escorting you to and from Ramshackle every morning.

💙At least one twin (or even Azul) would accompany you everywhere. At some point, Ramshackle becomes a second dorm to them while you’re recovering.

+bonus Azul hc’s 💜

💜Azul would be appalled you got hurt while out doing Mostro Lounge business. Not because it would be bad for the Lounge, but because it makes him feel responsible. If you’re close with one, or both, of the Tweels, you’ve probably become close to Azul as well. Close enough to care about your wellbeing, no matter how much he hides it.

💜Azul has many connections throughout Sage’s Island, so he helps the twins find the person, as well as their possible organization.

💜In the meantime, your slightly confused why you keep getting frighteningly good deals at the Mostro Lounge. Additionally, Azul has been offering you more protection. If only he could get you to sign a contract…

Back to the Tweels now!~

💙First, Jade made a few excuses that he wanted to go out hiking, and if he slept over at Ramshackle, he could head out earlier. You saw no reason to say no. Then, the next week, Floyd bounded up to your door, all smiles. “Let’s have a slumber party, Shrimpy~” You’d ended up on the living room floor, tv still playing a random movie, snoring with your limbs tangled with Floyd’s. Mind you, this all repeated for the next few weeks.

💙Jade uses the Lounge’s connections to pinpoint the perpetrator’s movements and even get their identity. Floyd even goes into town knocking on doors. Sometimes he’s amicable, sometimes…not so much.

💙They keep quiet about what they’re doing, though. They don’t want to scare off their resident magicless minnow, so they don’t mention it to you. Only that you’ll be safe.

You frowned at Floyd humming a merry tune. He had his arms behind his head, walking as if he didn’t have a care in the world. “You look happy. And you weren’t with Jade when he came to walk me to class.” Floyd merely grinned down at you, looking fond. “Had to take care’a something, Shrimpy. Why, you missed me?”

There was a glint in his eye you didn’t understand, but you shrugged. “Yeah, I mean I did miss you, but what were you doing so early?” Floyd’s eyes darkened, and his smile seemed a little sinister. It cleared up in a moment when he let out a giggle, “Don’t worry ‘bout it~”

💙The twins may *marginally* calm down after a while. But definitely expect them to be looking out for you behind the scenes. If Floyd sees anyone messing with you, he’ll stare at them (and isn’t afraid to get physical) until they stop, and Jade can and will make their lives miserable and play mind games with them.

💙They do trust Azul to look out for you whenever they can’t, and I do think they’d trust your first year friends. The twins think they’re guppies, but they’re just as loyal to you. And if anything happens to you again, just be assured that you have two eelmer bodyguards who can and will mess someone up to protect you~

The twins aren’t beating the mafia allegations 💀 thanks for your request anon!!! Until next time, xoxo Calci~

[calcifiedunderland]

HOW DARE THE MERFORM TWEEL CARDS COME BACK WHEN IM BROKE AND CAN’T GET THEM

[calcifiedunderland]

I’m cackling 🤣

devastating: the worst coworkers you've ever known were written by disney

[calcifiedunderland]

!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS SO CUTE!!!!!!!!! Op this is beautiful!!! 🥰❤️🐙💙🥹

Got inspired to draw this after listening to “Octopus’s garden” by the Beatles

I actually have the headcannon that when he was a child he would have been friends with the local octopuses 🐙

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

[calcifiedunderland]

I wish we had more Cater-Riddle interactions. Imagine the insanity. Imagine the chaos.

[calcifiedunderland]

Imagine a meet-cute with Jade and Floyd at a wedding.

Maybe both of them went with their mother to the Eternity Float wedding, or it’s another event. Either way, everyone in the crowd is up and dancing. Against the odds, you manage to lock eyes and he becomes your dance partner for the night.

By the time the music ends, you’re breathing heavily and sit down next to another guy who looks a LOT like him. You glance over, and he grins. “Did you like dancing with my brother?” You nod, face flushed and smiling. “It was like dancing with an eel!”

The other twin laughs, mismatched eyes glinting in the sunlight. “Oh,” he grins down at you, “you have no idea.”

Or smth like that, idk. The possibilities are endless 👀

[calcifiedunderland]

im sending this anon post just to tell u that i love love love ur mermay fics i would literally go bald from pulling my hair because of how cute and good ur fics are. they bring so much joy and whimsy to my life 😭❤️

AHHH!!!! I’m horribly late to responding to this but thank you so much anon, I love you!!! 🥹 this seriously makes me so happy!! I’m really glad others like my works, and enjoy reading them as much as I enjoy writing them. I’m always happy to bring whimsy and joy!!!🥰🥰🥰

[calcifiedunderland]

hello could i ask for jamil with prompts 10, 17 and 20. 10 and 20 are kind of opposites but i think the contrast between light and dark would be pretty interesting thank you <3

💌Request received! Thank you for your message~

I’m glad my Selkie brainrot has reached the masses hehe, thank you for your request!!

Jamil Viper, ft. Midnight Zone, Sunlight, & Selkie

Kalim misplaced his pelt again.

This always happened. Jamil dragged a hand over his face, sighing heavily. He all but ripped the door to the tavern open, Kalim in tow, talking incessantly in Jamil’s ear the whole time. “Maybe those nice humans found it! Oh, this place has a ‘lost and found,’ maybe it’s there-!”

Jamil scanned the tavern, gray eyes sharp. Kalim walked in cheerily, “I’m sure it ended up somewhere!” Jamil stamped down his frustration, and zeroed in on a human.

You lifted the fabric, raising an eyebrow. This looked sort of like a pelt of some kind, but from what? You were about to fold it up and talk to the barkeep when something slunk up next to you.

“Why, hello there,” Jamil kept his tone light, but his grey eyes were steely. “I think you may have something belonging to my friend. I’ll be taking it back now.” He all but snatched it from you, handing it to Kalim. The white haired boy smiled at you, “thanks for finding my pelt! I don’t know how I would’ve gotten home without this!” He laughed as the other boy pulled him off, hissing beneath his breath.

You merely watched, intrigued. You overheard him saying, “Kalim! You can’t just forget your pelt, and be so friendly with humans!” Kalim just smiled, before waving back at you, “It’s okay, Jamil! They seem like a nice human!” You waved back as the other one - Jamil - shot a distrustful look over his shoulder before leaving the tavern. You sipped your drink, leaning back in your chair in thought. Well, you were sure that was the end of that.

It was not the end of that, actually.

You squatted down to Jamil’s level, although you didn’t know it was Jamil at first. You did feel like the sea snake’s grey eyes looked familiar, though. Particularly the glare.

You were walking on the Scalding Sands docks to watch the sun rise over the ocean, and to enjoy the peace before the bazaars became busy. You hadn’t expected to come across a strangely large sea snake struggling in a net, hissing as you came close. When you looked at it, you saw it had curious red and black patterned scales.

“Woah,” you said, holding your hands up. It hissed, but was unable to strike you since its head was tied up. “I’m not going to hurt you,” your voice was soft, and as the sun came up over the ocean, you were able to get a better look.

The sea snake seemed to calm down at your tone. It just watched you carefully now, as you took out your pocket knife and began sawing. As the rope pieces fell away, your actions faltered.

It looked like the scales were ‘peeling off,’ but not like how snakes normally shed. This looked like it was a single piece lifting off of the snake’s body, like clothing layered on a person’s body.

The underside of the snake’s scales looked brown. You didn’t get a good look though, as the snake had started squirming and hissing, as if saying ‘hurry up!’ You slashed through the remaining ropes and the snake splashed into the water.

It peeked its head up from the surface, tongue hissing softly as if saying ‘thank you”. The way it was looking at you, with unease but also thankfulness, you thought it was odd. Its expressions seemed strangely human-like, but before you could reach out, it dove under the water again.

As Jamil swam away, his mind raced. He’d only come to the surface to get spices from the market before Kalim woke up. He had no idea he’d get snagged into a fisherman’s net before he even took off his pelt. He was sure you hadn’t noticed his pelt peeling off his snake form from the ropes rubbing against him, either.

Perhaps he’d just make do with what he had back at the Qasr al-Asim. Besides, Kalim would be waking up now anyway. He would stop by his home to check on Najma, and then make his way to the Qasr. As he headed back to his home in the midnight zone, his heart slowly descended with him.

That’s how it would always be, Jamil supposed. He would always be be in the deep and dark, trying not to inch towards the light. His role as a Viper would be to support, and not desire. He shoved those thoughts to the back of his mind, no good on dwelling on them. He couldn’t think about the nice human. He’d return to the surface later to get spices. Right now, he had to go to Kalim.

“Selkie’s, they call them.”

You looked up at Captain Ambrose, stroking his beard and looking thoughtful. “If you saw the pelt lifting, then it’s likely a selkie. They say the Scalding Sands has a few.” His eyes twinkled in the sunlight, “they say they shed their pelts to walk the land. Perhaps you’ll see it again, but as a human.”

He ambled off, while you were lost in thought. That would explain why that white-haired fellow thanked you for the fabric - no, pelt - and why his friend was snippy towards you. If that was their only way back into the watery depths, you’d be mad too. You shrugged, deciding to head off to the bazaar in search of food. By Sevens, you were starving.

Meanwhile, Jamil slipped out of his pelt and shook the water from his hair, watching the humans walk around. He tied the pelt around his waist beneath his shirt, before walking casually into the bazaar.

He walked around, finally getting his spices in neat boxes. His eyes blinked rapidly, trying to get used to the sun. The sunlight on the surface was always blinding compared to the dark of the midnight zone.

He hissed under his breath, brushing his bangs back when he crashed into something. “Hey-ow!” You rubbed your lower back, his supplies now on the ground beside you when you fell. “Watch where you’re-!” You stopped, eyes widening.

The sunlight perfectly formed a halo behind Jamil’s hooded head. You looked at him in awe. It was as if he came from the sun itself. He looked down at you, his own eyes widening. You again? “Ah, my apologies,” His tone was courteous but his heartbeat quickened. Did you recognize him from yesterday? There was no way you would, right? He looked like a normal human. So why were you squinting like you knew something?

Jamil helped you up before bowing slightly, “I must get going now,” he was about to walk off when you scrambled up, “I can help you carry those,” you blurted, taking half of his boxes before he could protest.

The two of you walked silently around the beach. Jamil very well couldn’t just leave you and put his pelt on, and tried his hardest to shake you off. You on the other hand, bit your lip trying to think of how to break the ice. The moment you locked eyes with Jamil, you knew he had to be the same sea snake.

“Hey,” you bumped your shoulder softly against his, “you’re the Selkie from yesterday, right?” Jamil stiffened before saying calmly, “I don’t know what you mean.” You stopped, forcing him to turn to you. “It’s okay, your secret’s safe with me. Promise.” The honesty in your eyes disarmed Jamil, and he just blinked at you.

He merely nodded, and the two of you slowly walked towards the docks. There was no point hiding from you now, he supposed.

His voice was so quiet, you nearly missed it, “thanks for saving me from the nets yesterday.” You laughed softly at the look on his face, before nudging him. “You’re secret’s safe with me,” you leaned in teasingly, “you make a very cute sea snake.”

Cue Jamil looking away with a flustered look in his eye.

I tried to balance darkness and light motifs in this, hope this was ok anon!!! Thanks for reading, until next time xoxo Calci~

[calcifiedunderland]

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

✨TWST x HSR ✨

[calcifiedunderland]

This is the most romantic thing I’ve ever read 🥰🕷️🕸️❤️

fear of spiders ft. jamil viper

SCENARIO, NOT A FULL FIC! (i'm sorry!)

tags/warnings: jamil x reader (romantic), gn!reader, arachnophobe!reader, sfw, canon adjacent (NRC), set during VDC, some swearing, not proofread bc i'm impatient and wrote this just now

a/n: i'm afraid of spiders and i was high on the feeling of posting my mini jade fic so here's a scenario with jamil. it's short as heck, but i have to make you kiss-kiss-fall-in-love regardless of length, so jamil is slightly OOC. i hope you can still enjoy. i'm worried that i'll get too used to writing short and shallow mini-fics and i don't wanna do that :(

DO NOT FEED TO AI.

word count: 519

dividers by @/kawaii-lau!

Jamil had never heard you scream before. Even during his overblot over winter break, he doesn’t think you shrieked at all. Though chaos follows you, you don’t scream. That composure is one thing that Jamil likes about you.

So when he hears you shout from downstairs, it sets off every alarm possible in his head.

Did you fall and hurt yourself? Is there an invader in the dorm? Jamil grabs his magical pen and swiftly sneaks downstairs.

The second you spot him, you practically leap at him.

“J-Jamil! HELP,” you plead, latching onto his arm. His heart most definitely doesn’t skip a beat at that.

Doing a cursory scan of the room, Jamil spots no impending dangers. He sighs, looking back at you. “What is it, Prefect?”

You’re being rather annoying right now, but also annoying endearing. Your eyes trace something on the floor, and Jamil is momentarily too distracted by the rare sight of your disheveled self to notice.

You retreat behind his back and shoot out a pointer finger with alarming urgency. “aaaAAaAAAHHHH—“

And then Jamil spots it. Slowly approaching both of you like something from a horror movie.

You both latch onto each other and scream like schoolgirls getting their souls ripped from their bodies.

“WHAT THE FUCK GET RID OF IT JAMIL—“

“ME? ABSOLUTELY NOT,” he retorts, “YOU DO IT.”

The eight-legged eldritch horror starts to run. And you both scream louder, if that was even possible.

“KILL IT!” Jamil yells at you.

“NO! I refuse to smear its guts on my floor!”

Your time is running out as it comes closer. Jamil brings you closer and pulls you backward, away from the monster. But as you feel your backs hit the wall behind you, you realize you’ve reached a dead end.

“Prefect,” Jamil breathes, his heart racing a mile a minute, “it was nice knowing you.”

But you haven’t given up yet. You reach over, snatch your mug from the nearby table, and like a hero, you chug your morning beverage and slam the cup upside down over the spider. Then you grab a sheet of scrap paper, slip it under the mug, and carry the trap to your open window and launch the entire thing outside.

Mug and all.

Screaming all the while.

Jamil has never seen anyone so attractive.

“That was humiliating,” you pant, once the threat has been mitigated. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah,” Jamil breathes, equally out of breath. “I think I want to kiss you.”

The lack of oxygen has gotten to both of your heads. “I wouldn't mind,” you chuckle, and Jamil launches himself at you.

You make out for approximately ten seconds before Ace interrupts you from the stairs, still in his pyjamas and bedhead going strong.

“Ew, what are you guys doing?” he gags. “And why the fuck are you screaming at 6 in the morning?”

“Sorry,” you say unapologetically. “Spider.”

Ace groans and trudges back upstairs, and Jamil latches back onto your lips.

It’s a good thing Vil is on his morning run right now. You’d never hear the end of it if he’d been here.

[calcifiedunderland]

KINGDOM DANCE ROOK MY BELOVED!!!! Thank you for writing my request! I love this 🥰❤️

Hi Amoris!!!! Congrats on 500 followers, I love your fics sm!!! For your Fairytale Reverie event, may I please request the Kingdom Dance scene from Tangled ft. Rook Hunt?? Maybe during Glorious Masquerade in Fleur City, but if you have an idea for a different direction then feel free!! Thank you for sharing your writing!! ♥️✨

-@calcifiedunderland

WARM AND REAL AND BRIGHT !!

✧ — rook hunt x reader as the kingdom dancing scene from tangled. ✧ — 406 words, no warnings. ✧ — here is the event and the event masterlist. ughh this scene is sooo good omg and so rook core ik he loves him a good festival. @calcifiedunderland enjoy!! and thanks for this lovely rook request <33

You had been looking radiant the entire day, with a smile that rivaled the sun.

Rook believed he had to have done something to earn such a beautiful sight. He was lucky to have been the one to bring you here. Once he helped braid your magical hair so that you were not dragging it everywhere, the fun had begun. 

You were dazzling, brimming with curiosity, and Rook was more than happy to be the one to feed into all of your wildest whims. He had taken you to the library, and you pointed to all the places you wanted to visit in the books, he snuck you some cupcakes just to watch your eyes shut in satisfaction at their sweet taste, and he even helped you paint the ground in vibrant chalk with the children of the kingdom.

Now you were both caught up in a wonderful dance in the village square, switching from partner to partner, fabric and hair flowing with each turn as the music sped up. The air was filled with laughter and cheers, but Rook’s sharp stare was focused on one individual, and that was you. Each time he felt the dance was going to bring the two of you together, you both were tugged by different dance partners, which he did not mind. He was having fun, and he figured you would end up in his arms eventually. A good hunter did not jump into action until the time was right.

Still, that did not keep the two of you from looking for one another in the crowds of people.

As the song was nearing its end, you shut your eyes to focus on the music, having figured out the pattern the dance went in, and you opened them once more once you found your final partner. It was Rook, who was now holding you close, smiling at you as you panted. 

The rest of the people applauded while your cheeks flushed and you looked away, pulling back so that you were not so pressed up against him. 

“You are a skilled dancer, mon Trickster,” he murmured, keeping you in his arms.

“Ah, thank you…”

His gaze remained on your face, reading every twitch of your brow and movement of your lips before he finally let you go and pulled back, “Let us go find our boat,” he said, kissing the back of your hand before gently tugging you along.

©rooksamoris 2025. do not steal or translate my work!

support me on ko-fi!

[calcifiedunderland]

hey so how do you think the octo dorm boys and Ruggie would deal with a reader who grew up on some rough streets in a kingdom/city there’s gangs and men selling snakeoil constantly there.. This reader is overall nice, just wants to have peace and fun, but if Floyd threatens to squeeze this reader all threatening, this readers just like “Do it! Bitch! We’ll see who ends up in the medical bay!” With zero fear, staring Floyd down. (Ruggie attempts to pick pocket this reader, grabs his hand, and reader ruffles his hair, “awe that’s cute you thought you could steal from me. A for effort”)?

💌Request received! Thank you for your message~

I’m having fun with these headcanon requests lol 🥰 enjoy!!

Ruggie Bucchi

💛For whatever reason, Ruggie got a different vibe from you. Like you knew more than you were letting on. You were still really sweet and kind to everyone, so he just brushed it off. After all, it was unusual for NRC students to be as kind as you for nothing in return.

💛Ruggie got the feeling you and him weren’t too far off from each other. You didn’t always talk about your past, growing up on rougher streets and dealing with schemers.

💛At some point, he’d taken to gently teasing you. And old habits did die hard. He saw you with your wallet in your back pocket, nearly about to fall out, and he grinned. You hadn’t even noticed him either. He’d just nick it and replace the money later~… or so he’d thought.

“I know your games, Ruggie.”

He stopped, feigning wide-eyed confusion. “Huh? What do you mean, Prefect?” Your wallet was now tucked into his back pocket, perfectly concealed by his oversized blazer. You had no idea he was there. He’d made no sound.

You clicked your tongue, angling your head to the side softly. “Aww~” you strode up to Ruggie, reaching behind and plucking your wallet from his back pocket. You then reached up and ruffled his hair.

You smiled at Ruggie, but a chill went down his spine. Your eyes were icy as you stalked up to him, hands still clutching your wallet. “It’s cute you think you can steal from me~”

You ruffled his hair, watching him grimace and fix it as he watched you go. You looked over your shoulder, waving your wallet with a hint of mischief in your eyes, “A for the effort though~ It was good for your first try!”

Azul Ashengrotto

💙To Azul, you’re not a major threat. Sure, you may have a lot of friends and connections on campus, but you have a kind disposition and no magic at all. He figures that, since you have no bark nor bite, you probably need others to defend you. Surely he could help you there~

💙He had Jade and Floyd look into your background discreetly. When they discovered that you’d grown up on rough streets, dealing with gangs and dubious sellers, he didn’t fully believe it at first.

💙That all changed when he made the mistake of trying to swindle you into a deal. He messed with the wrong person…

Azul smiled at you, “this is beneficial to both of us. You’ll be running errands here and there, and getting paid. Simple as that.”

Azul had managed to stop you as you were scampering around the school on some errand. It was just you and him alone. You watched Azul with wide eyes as he held the golden contract closer to you, smirking. “Perhaps I could even offer you more benefits if you’d agree to be an anemone~”

You, on the other hand, seethed. You were tired of being swindled by this half-rate takoyaki. A scary look came on your face, and for a moment Azul’s eyes widened. “You just don’t know when to quit, huh?”

You leaned in close to Azul, and he shrank back a bit. “You’d better not mess with me anymore! Thought you learned back then, but if you want more, then I’ll give you more!” Azul blinked rapidly before composing himself. He’d never expected you to react like this. Perhaps you weren’t just bark and no bite.

You glared at him before walking off in a huff. For a moment, Azul observed you with a curious look in his eye, before smirking. He pushed up his glasses, a new plan rapidly forming in his head. He called after you, “Prefect, perhaps we can discuss this further!”

Jade Leech

💙You knew Jade Leech was a schemer from the moment you saw him. You kept that thought to yourself though, but you just continued to intrigue him the more time went on.

💙You weren’t particularly combative or imposing, Jade mused, but you were resourceful. He’d quietly watched you get out of scrapes and scuffles by simply avoiding any funny business, and somehow you smoothly dodged any of his attempts to fluster you. Oh, you were a fun little shrimp indeed~

💙While collecting information for Azul, he’d managed to corner you in the Botanical Gardens. He tried to fluster you, teasingly taking your notebook and holding it out of reach. He grinned down at you, mismatched eyes glinting. What would you do now?

Jade fully expected you to curl in on yourself, blinking your lashes up at him in a flustered state. You merely leaned in, tilting your head up in challenge.

“You wanna go toe to toe with me?” You straightened yourself up, getting in Jade’s face just like he was getting in yours. He was surprised (and sadistically delighted) to see the fire in your eyes.

“You wanna try something with me,” you seethed, a on your last nerve because so help you, you were exhausted, “then we’ll see who ends up in the medical bay.” You stared down Jade.

He backed off, still smiling charmingly. “I see,” he said, eyes glinting as he watched you frown in confusion. “Huh?” He hummed, “here you are. I hope to see you soon, Prefect.” Jade had a mysterious look on his face as he handed you back your notebook, turning and walking out of the greenhouse. His grin only widened, heart thumping. This was intriguing.

Floyd Leech

💙Floyd doesn’t really think too much of you at first. Usually you’re just normal, bubbly, boring Shrimpy who tries to make everyone get along. It’s fun watching you try to keep the peace between everyone.

💙Floyd’s interest eventually piqued when he saw you take on some guys who were trying to mess with you. Does Shrimpy have a secret bossy side?

💙Try as he might, Floyd could never get you to show that side to him. He’d mess with you, poke you, but you usually took it in stride. Until he managed to choose the wrong day.

You were this close to throwing someone out of a window.

You’d been given a boatload of tasks by Crowley, who’d gone missing hours ago, not to mention you had to dig Grim, Ace, and Deuce out of more trouble. You were at your wits end, and now you had to deal with a giddy Floyd who wouldn’t leave you alone.

“Shrimpy~ you’re no fun! You’re so boring lately.” Floyd loomed closer to you. He had a crazed look in his eyes, “maybe I oughta give ya a lil squeeze~” he expected you to shrink back, maybe even plead with him.

He was shocked (but honestly delighted) when you got in his face. “Do it, Leech! We’ll see who ends up in the medical bay!” You looked him dead in the eye, your own face looking as crazed as him.

Floyd just stared at you. Onlookers slowly backed away, no one who yelled at Floyd normally walked away without a bruise at least. They didnt expect Floyd to throw his head back in laughter as you stomped away, grumbling. He trotted after you, still giggling, “Shrimpy! I knew you weren’t boring after all!”

I couldn’t bring myself to be mean to Ruggie I’m ngl. Giving the octotrio a taste of their own medicine is fine any day tho 🥰 Anyway thanks for reading!!! I’m working through the requests fic by fic, I’m hoping to finish them all up soon!! Xoxo Calci~

[calcifiedunderland]

Hi! May I request 14 Deep Sea Gigantism, 22 Thalassophobia, and 25 Storm for Malleus. A one shot if possible but if you can’t the I’m fine with head canons. The idea would go like this. The reader was blown off a ship in a the middle of a storm. Malleus saves them but since he lives in the deep his… kind of huge(size of a ship) freaks the reader out a bit but they calm down and spend time with each other until the storm ends. Please and thank you and if you can’t do it then I understand. Hope you have a great day!

💌 Request received! Thank you for your message~

Malleus Draconia, ft. Deep Sea Gigantism, Thalassaphobia, & Storm

You didn’t think you’d go out like this.

You were being torn left and right by the wind, barely clinging to the mast. You knew venturing to Briar Valley was dangerous, especially by sea. Those waters were especially known for their deadly, ruthless storms, but you never expected this.

You didn’t even want to go on this ridiculous journey, but your travels just had to take you to the elusive Briar Valley. Stories and portents of monsters, storms, and crushing water flashed in your mind. You could only stare, breathless, as the mast gave way and you tumbled into the ocean. At first, your ears were filled with howling wind, but now there was only silence.

Water rushed dully past your ears, and you felt weightless. You sunk deeper, deeper, deeper into the ocean and something dark swooshing past you. The last thing you remembered was looking into a pair of bright green eyes before everything went black.

That morning had started like any other out on sea.

You had woken early, and decided to eat your sumptuous feast of a piece of hardtack and water while looking out over the ocean. It was sunny, with no evidence of a storm brewing. You squinted at the water, leaning a bit over the edge.

The bottom of the water seemed too dark - almost like there was something there. “Captain,” you called, “I think there’s something beneath us.” Captain Ambrose gave you a jolly smile, laughing it off, “of course not! Silly (Name), you’re just seeing the ship’s shadow in the water.” You weren’t convinced, since it was much too large and dark to be a shadow, but you shrugged it off.

From miles below, Malleus peered upwards at the ship. Humans were quite odd, sailing at this time. There was a storm coming, based on the choppy currents. Beside him, Lilia zipped by, pink and black tail curling next to Malleus’ large black body. “Khee hee~ are you counting ships again?” He teased. Malleus merely hummed, swimming off.

Your frown only deepened as you stared into the water. “I definitely saw something…” you mumbled to yourself. “Nya?~” you flinched when you saw the floating head next to you, Chenya’s cackle knocking your thoughts. “Are you scared the Sea Dragon is following us?~” he purred, patting your head. “They say he’s a sea monster who controls the storms of Briar Valley seas,” he grinned mischievously.

Neige walked over, carrying a barrel. He smiled sweetly, “don’t mind Chenya, (Name)! The Sea Dragon’s just a legend!” Chenya giggled before turning invisible again, but you cast a glance down at the sea. You swore you saw the black shadow go the opposite direction of the ship. It moved.

As the storm descended onto the Briar Valley waters, Malleus merely swam through the currents. His large size made it hard to be knocked over in the ocean, and he had enough strength to stay stable in the waters. Besides, he’d just found a lovely shipwreck to explore. Perhaps there’d be gargoyle sculptures in this one too-

His thoughts were interrupted by a loud crash from above. As lightning flashed and lit up the whole ocean, he saw you. A human? Your limp body sunk like a rock into the water, and immediately Malleus abandoned his exploration. He shot upwards, seeing your eyes open blearily. His arms encircled your waist as he swam quickly for the surface.

You were never going onto a ship again. You’d never had a headache like this before in your life.

You’d flinched awake at a booming voice. “-BRING A HUMAN HERE?! THEY COULD BE A THREAT-!” You groaned, feeling water wash over your legs as you turned your head over. That was not the best decision.

At first, all you saw was darkness. Then, slowly, your eyes focused. Not darkness. There were slick, shiny, iridescent black scales with spiney fins. It was enormous, sinewy, strong, and you felt your throat go dry. Your eyes followed the length of the tail, finding it attached to someone with very sharp clawed hands and horns curling from his head. His sharp green eyes were frowning at someone.

“I took many precautions, Sebek. They were thrown off the ship, I couldn’t simply leave them. They’re just a child of man.” Another quieter voice piped up, “Malleus is right, Sebek. They could have drowned.”

You blinked, trying to get your head to stop spinning. So it was the black-tailed one that saved you? Malleus? You moved your head to look at him better.

You tried not to gawk as Malleus looked dejected. Was the Monstrous Sea Dragon of Briar Valley, most feared legendary creature in these waters… pouting? The rain seemed to pound harder against the cave as an unfamiliar voice giggled.

“Don’t worry, Sebek, I’m sure the human wouldn’t do anything to harm us. And we can just ask them!” Lilia said, splashing next to you. Suddenly all four of their eyes were on you, sitting up with seaweed covering your forehead.

You stared back, getting a better look at them. One with pink and black hair, and a matching red and black tail, grinned at you with sharp teeth. Another, with an iridescent pink and blue tail with silver hair blinked back at you. The last one, with an electric green tail and hair, looked at you with indignation.

“Well, dearie!~ We’re glad to see you’re okay!” The pink one grinned at you, “Malleus here was so worried you wouldn’t make it!” Your eyes flashed over to him. He stiffened, face stony. “What brings you into these waters during a storm?” He asks, voice deep and smooth as his eyes bore into yours.

“I, um,” you tried not to stare at Malleus or look rude, “I was s-sailing to Briar Valley. I guess I got thrown off the ship in the storm,” your voice grew quiet when lightning boomed overhead.

Malleus hummed, fins sweeping towards you. He looked down at you gently, “we shall wait out the storm, and I will escort you to the shore safely.” Sebek looked like he was about to protest, but sighed silently as he leaned against the cave wall. Silver had nodded off against Malleus’ tail, while Lilia perched on a high rock, watching you and Malleus with an amused look.

You felt yourself stiffen as Malleus gestured to come closer. You shifted, taking multiple steps to get to him. You watched his lower half with fascination and somewhat fright. You didn’t feel any hostility, but this was different.

“Are you some kind of…” you swallowed thickly, “Sea Dragon?” Malleus chuckled, “I suppose you could call me that, Child of Man.” The rain seemed to lighten up a bit, you noticed. Malleus was still as you flopped down, muscles aching.

“Thanks for saving me,” you said softly, feeling the weight of what just happened. Malleus glanced down, the ghost of a smile on his lips, “of course.” Quietly you both chatted as the rain slowly cleared up, and you stood, feeling a little bolder.

“I noticed, you keep calling me that.” Malleus angled his head, “what do you mean, Child of Man?” “That!” You put your hands on your hips, “if I’m Child of Man, then I’m gonna call you something too.” Malleus grinned, looking mischievous, “hm? What did you have in mind?”

By now, the rain had stopped. Your heart had stopped pounding, and soon you were smiling up at Malleus. The sunshine washed over you both.

You squinted, looking him up and down. Sea Dragon felt too obvious, so how about… “Hornton?” You quipped, and his grin widened. “Hmm…” his shoulders shook silently, until he laughed deeply. “You humans are odd, indeed.”

[calcifiedunderland]

I would like to request a oneshot using 3 + 6 + 14 promts. You decide how Giant!Mer!Leona and Yuu interactions goes, if this is their first meeting or if they know each other already, if it's angsty or comfort/fluff or both.

💌 Request received! Thank you for your message~

Leona Kingscholar, ft. Bauble, Blood, & Deep Sea Gigantism

Warnings: blood, wounds, mention of venom

Deciding to deep-dive off the Sunset Savanna coasts was not one of your smartest decisions, but you were intrigued.

Apparently, there was an area where no ship could sail through, without disintegrating into dust. The sailors would be clinging to the sails as they floated into the harbors, and it was something of a local legend to avoid the area. Strange stories of a creature with spikes lurked there, leaving everyone in shivers.

“The light never touches there,” the locals would whisper as you purchased your diving gear, “you best stay away.” You pursed your lips now as you sailed out on your cheap boat. The water was pitch black as far as you could see. Like you were sailing over a black hole.

You gulped down your long-lasting breathing potion, and took a deep breath before launching off the boat. You’d be lucky to find it intact, if you managed to survive. You swam down to the sea floor, taking it all in. The ocean floor here was a graveyard of fallen ships along the coral reefs. The sun was blocked by thick wefts of kelp, with light filtering through onto the sand. You swam cautiously, unaware of green eyes following you as you unknowingly came closer.

Something shiny had caught your eye, glinting an odd gold in the filtered sunlight. A shiny bauble? Maybe it fell off a capsized ship. Upon inspection, you saw they were golden beads in the shape of claws, strung on a necklace with other red and green beads. Your eyes filled with curiosity. It looked like the necklace was looped around the stalk of coral, but the top was too wide for it to have fallen naturally. Then how did it get caught on it?

You tried not to touch the soft pink and yellow spines poking out from the coral. You gingerly reached out to touch the beads when the sand shifted. You gasped when the base of the coral jerked, and two thick pieces lunged towards you. You lurched back, making out a torso, and the two pieces as arms. The spines shifted backwards, and your eyes widened. That wasn’t a coral. That was a merman.

You felt paralyzed when you locked eyes with him, noting his sharp fangs baring a scowl at you. The necklace looped around his neck along with a string of beads, and he had braids on either side of his head. His eyes were green, with a scar over one eye and brown hair previously covered up by the spines floating behind him. His eyes narrowed at you and he lunged over you. You scrambled back as his claws shredded a nearby column of kelp into ribbons like nothing.

Leona let out a tch, watching you flail on the sand. Damn human kicking up a ruckus. His tail flicked in annoyance as he studied you. He thought little human herbivores were smart enough to not come here. He glanced up, looking around carefully.

By now, predators would be out and he did not want to deal with them right now. They knew better than to venture into his territory, but with you stirring up the currents, they may become adventurous. You kicked off the sand floor just as he tried to pin you down, when one of his spines snagged your upper arm.

You yelped, bubbles escaping you. You clutched your arm as a ribbon of blood wriggled in the water. The lionfish mer groaned, green eyes flashing as he grabbed your arm and yanked you downward into the cavern. “No!” You shrieked, trying to pull back. “I ain’t gonna eat ya, but the sharks will if you don’t be quiet,” he hissed, clapping a hand over your mouth while the other held your wound shut.

He managed to wrestle you into a small cave on the side of the cliff. The inside was lit by bioluminescent plants, and decorated with a few skulls and ship sails that served as tapestries. He gave you a sharp look, “wait here. And keep that cut closed..” As he went to the entrance to make sure nothing followed, muttering “human causin’ trouble, now I gotta deal with it,” you took this time to properly observe the mer.

His figure was giant. His spines made him seem twice as large, and his tailfins swayed in the water. You looked curiously at the pair of animal-like ears on the top of his head, when he turned to face you. You stiffened as he stalked closer to you, frowning.

Leona took special care to keep his spines away from you. He grabbed one of the sail tapestries on a rock and tore it easily in his claws. You flinched as he grabbed your arm and began wrapping it. “Thanks,” you said quietly. “I’m (Name).” He grunted, “The name’s Leona, and this isn’t a favor. If you bleed everywhere, you’ll attract more sharks, then I gotta deal with the fallout. Not that they’d be much of a fight,” he shook his spines with almost pride.

“You’re a lionfish?” You asked, fascinated, “I didn’t know merfolk lived in these areas.” Leona rolled his eyes, “they don’t. You see any more of me around here?”

You kept quiet as you studied him, and then the cave. It was small, and there weren’t many personal possessions here. Did he live alone?

“Are humans stupid enough to come into predator infested waters now?” He mumbled, tightening the strip. Your face flushed, “I didn’t know there were predators.” You stiffened when he looked up to study you with disbelief. He really was pretty.

“Well, you ain’t dead from my spikes, so you’ll probably be okay until the sharks leave.” You nodded. Lionfish weren’t typically deadly to humans, you remembered. At most, you may feel some discomfort, but right now, all you felt was some soreness from the cut, which was to be expected.

You cleared your throat, sitting up. “When can I leave?” You asked. Leona sighed raggedly, already tired. “It’ll take at least a day for those sharks to clear out.” He eyed your figure, “unless you wanna be shark bait, you’re better off waiting it out here.” You flinched as Leona curled behind you, reminding you of a cat curling up. He glanced at you, “you mind?” He grunted.

You frowned, “there’s no more space,” you crossed your arms. Between the size of Leona’s spikes and the rocks of the cave, you’d basically be at the front entrance waving down the sharks with your open wound like a flag. Leona seemed to realize this, and begrudgingly opened up, “fine.”

He waited a moment, and you seemed to understand. You crawled into the space, and he sighed. Your eyes slowly fluttered shut, exhausted from what just happened. You had a good few hours left on the breathing potion. You’d be fine if you took a nap.

Leona opened one eye, watching you relax. Humans couldn’t all be so naive around predators, he thought as you breathed deeply, already asleep. Still, his tail curled around you, and he pointed his spikes toward the entrance in case anything decided to show up. You may have unwittingly messed with him, but he wasn’t about to let anything else mess with this human.

Thanks for reading!!! Mer! Leona kinda grew on my for this fic ngl, until next time~ xoxo Calci

[calcifiedunderland]

This was beautiful 🥹🫶

CHEESE LOVER YUU MY BELOVED!!!

Hi! May i order a cup of overblot boys x fem reader who’s obsessed with cheese? I just had the most cheesiest bread and Oh God it tastes like heaven!! Perhaps reader keeps a lot of stock of cheese especially cheese string for light snacks (open her bag and you’ll see at least five cheese string inside her plastic container because this is exactly what i did) ^___^ Perhaps you can add a scenario when one day reader ran out of cheese AND the market/cafeteria ran out of them as well—she’s upset and sad and didn’t want to talk to anybody and only reply to their questions with short amounts of words (girly just becomes an alpha sigma skibidi toilet) 🙏🏻 can you make it headcanon as well if you don’t mind? Or like their reaction to reader’s obsession with cheese. THANK UU and btw i love your writing!! Have a wonderful day aheaddd

String Cheese and Emotional Damage

pairing: Overblot Boys x Fem!Reader

summary: You're dangerously obsessed with cheese—especially cheese strings. The Overblot boys react to your dairy-fueled habits, from snacking mid-lecture to emotional meltdowns when the cheese runs out. Chaos, fluff, and lactose-fueled affection ensue🧀

a/n : Apologies for the late upload 😔 Thank you for loving my writing!! I appreciate it alot🩵 As I'm writing this, unfortunately, I am not living the dairy dream — I’m living the dairy delusion. I can’t afford cheese, so writing this fic was like describing heaven with only postcards. I had to research cheese like I was prepping for a dairy-themed final exam 🧀📖 This entire fic was powered by sheer imagination, unholy craving, and one blurry childhood memory of a fake cheese I once ate AHAHAHHAA! i also added a variety of cheese heree~

🃏Riddle Roseheart

When he first saw you pull out a snack-sized aged cheddar block mid-lecture and bite into it like an apple, he stopped in his tracks.

“Is that—what are you—are you eating cheddar in alchemy class??”

“Aged 18 months. Sharp, with nutty undertones. Pairs well with existential dread.”

He tries to ban all “non-approved dairy” during House study sessions. It backfires. You counter with a cheese tasting board labeled ‘Revolutionary Forms of Calcium.’

Riddle now begrudgingly lets you eat Grana Padano during meetings—only because your stress-chewing actually helps you concentrate.

Cheese Crisis Day:

You stop talking and currently sitting in a chair facing the wall like a haunted doll.

“Is she okay?” someone whispers.

“She hasn’t spoken since the cheese strings ran out.”

Riddle panics and raids Mostro Lounge for a wedge of manchego. He kneels dramatically.

“Please. Say something. I have imported Spanish sheep’s cheese.”

🦁 Leona Kingscholar

Thinks your obsession is weird until he tries a slice of your double cream brie on a warm croissant. He immediately stops judging.

You teach him the art of pulling cheese strings dramatically, like sword unsheathing. It becomes your bonding ritual.

Casually steals your smoked gouda during naptime. “This one’s got a nice campfire kick.” he admits, lying in your lap.

Cheese Crisis Day:

“They took… everything.” You’re curled up in the sandpit of the botanical garden, hoodie over your head, muttering like a war widow.

Leona raises a brow in pure confusion. “You’re acting like someone died.”

You glance up with eyes hollow. “They did. Her name was Mozzarella.”

He exhales slowly, rubbing the bridge of his nose like dealing with a dramatic housecat.

Next thing you know, he’s gone for 40 minutes.

You’re still pouting under the tree when he returns, tossing a small wrapped parcel into your lap. Inside: buffalo mozzarella, fresh basil, and roasted tomato slices on warm grilled flatbread.

“I had to go to that overpriced café near the main gate for this.” he grumbles. “Paid actual madol. Be grateful.”

You gasp softly. “You… you bought me cheese?”

“Tch. Don’t make it weird.” He looks away, ears twitching only for those keen eyes to catch.

So you just take one bite and make a noise so happy he immediately shoves his hands in his pockets and pretends he can’t hear you.

🪙 Azul Ashengrotto

Sees your obsession and immediately tries to franchise it.

“A limited-edition ‘Seven Cheeses of the Coral Sea’ platter at Mostro Lounge, perhaps?”

You enthusiastically pitch in with names. Azul instantly regrets encouraging you.

Learns to identify cheese by scent just to keep up. “That’s Gruyère. Alpine. Melts with dignity.”

Tries to seduce you with a wheel of Comté, and it works. You called him “my dairy deity” once and he hasn’t recovered.

Cheese Crisis Day:

“I have no reason to swim forward.” You stare at the aquarium glass, unmoving in stillness like Mola Mola on the ocean surface...

Azul sends Floyd to hunt down contraband Taleggio from a merchant ship. Returns to you with a platter and a wine pairing suggestion.

“Come back to me, mon fromage perdu.”

🐍 Jamil Viper

Absolutely offended when you tried to sprinkle feta on his biryani.

“You do not cheese-spam centuries of cultural tradition.”

“But it’s tangy…”

Eventually accepts it—especially after you bake him spicy cheese-stuffed flatbread with paneer and harissa. He’s suspicious, but he eats five.

Starts lowkey enjoying sharp flavors like aged provolone, even though he insists, “It’s only because it pairs well with mint tea.”

Cheese Crisis Day:

“Everything I loved has melted away.” You sit in the kitchen pantry with a ladle and a thousand-yard stare.

“Okay, you need to calm down—”

He makes labneh from scratch with goat’s milk and herbs.

“...You made cheese for me?”

“Yes. And if you cry, I’ll revoke your cheese privileges.”

👑 Vil Schoenheit

Was mortified the first time he saw you gnawing on a Kraft cheese stick in the mirror hallway.

“Processed plastic. In public. With confidence?”

“Self-love comes in cheddar.”

Eventually starts guiding you through “refined” cheeses:

Boursin with rosemary for stress

Parmigiano-Reggiano slivers for skincare-approved calcium

And truffle goat cheese because “you deserve elegance, even in lactose.”

Begins preparing you little curated cheese boxes. You kiss his cheek after one and he nearly drops his Magicam ring light.

Cheese Crisis Day:

“No Brie. No more cheese strings. No life.” You show up to Pomefiore rehearsal in a hoodie and shades like a tragic celebrity.

Vil dramatically announces a cheese fund and hosts a “Fromage for the Soul” gala. You cry over a brie tartlet. (also extra cheese strings in the pantry)

👾Idia Shroud

Thinks your obsession is literally adorable and chaotic. “She’s like if a ratatouille girlbossed too close to the sun.”

Posts memes of you labeled: [Cheddar Gremlin at 2am]

(attached with no text, followed by)

“This is you.”

Gets emotionally attached to babybel minis because you like to “unwrap them dramatically like little dairy presents.”

Customizes your game avatars with cheese accessories. Creates a cheese-powered dating sim prototype featuring you and 37 different cheeses.

Cheese Crisis Day:

You go offline for 24 hours. Don’t log in. Don’t reply.

“Oh god. She’s reached maximum dairy despair.”

Idia codes a message into your favorite rhythm game that says:

“Please return. I made you an emotional support emmental.”

Sends a care package of 12 cheese plushies and one actual gruyère wedge via drone.

🐉 MALLEUS DRACONIA

Intrigued. “Cheese…string?”

You peel one in front of him. He gazes like it’s a celestial phenomenon.

Tells you tales of Briar Valley’s ancient cheeses—one supposedly made of moonlight and snow. You swoon.

Genuinely believes cheese is the sacred food of joy. Gifts you enchanted cheeses that sing lullabies or sparkle in the dark.

Cheese Crisis Day:

“Even Horntorn cannot save me now…” You lie in your bed and whispering to the ceiling dramatically.

A thunderclap. He appears with a mythical alpine cow that produces endless cheese.

“Her name is Araluen. You may milk her with reverence.”

“I knew you’d understand.” and yes, you did tear up in joy.

[calcifiedunderland]