calebfm

[calebfm]

llvnas​:

she didn’t realise who the hand belonged to before it was too late , she’d already made eye contact . “ oh, uh - , ” she spoke in shock , snapping her hand back from the book as though it were a red hot poker . this was precisely why lu was served so poorly by her tendency to daydream , to drift softly from the reality surrounding her . the grand library was quiet this time of the day , most other students were having lunch or simply still asleep , and she was browsing particularly obscure pieces of fiction on a neglected row of shelves . it was unsurprising , however , that the hand that reached out for precisely the same book , at precisely the same time as luna , belonged to none other than caleb gardner . somehow , it was always the library in which they found themselves meeting . “ sorry . ” she muttered , refusing to meet his gaze . “ i — uh . you go for it . ” as she spoke , luna took a demonstrative step back . it was probably safer to leave distance between herself and the boy . ( @calebfm​ )

with his first assignment of the year done and uploaded , caleb had been aimlessly wandering around the library . the fiction section was a part of the library he wasn’t very familiar with due to a simple lack of time , and he was running his fingers admiringly along the spines when he heard a familiar voice . “ oh ! oh no , it’s okay . i was just browsing . ” he nudged the book slightly towards luna and tried for a smile , but it didn’t feel quite right on his face — he was sure she could see right through it , to the conflicting mess of emotions underneath . “ how have you , uhm … been ? how was your summer ? ”  the emptiness of the words saddened him ; someone passing by would probably assume they were nothing more than classmates . it hadn’t escaped his notice that she had purposefully moved away from him , and he similarly fought against the urge to cross his arms over his chest . instead , he stepped around the shelves , to face her without the books partially obscuring his view .

[calebfm]

cllifxrdr​:

     throughout his life clifford was fortunate enough to live a life full of luxury . both him and his brother were pretty much spoiled as children , whatever they wanted they would get , in the matter of seconds their parents would make their wishes come true . however , such a lavish lifestyle came at a price , even though he had everything he wanted , his parents failed to give him the most important things in life - basic love and affection . “ yeah, i guess i can’t exactly relate to that . ” cliff nodded . “ i just know i could never keep up with whatever you have going on. ” he replied , even though it was not exactly true , considering he hadn’t even tried , how could he possibly know when he doesn’t even put the tiniest amount of effort in his life . but i mean was he to blame really , he didn’t have anyone in his life to impress , so he had given up at this point . “ but still everyone deserves a break , regardless”

    “ probably not , ” caleb acknowledged . he was somewhat surprised by how self-aware clifford seemed , a trait he hadn’t associated with the lazy reveler he knew him as . suddenly , the corners of his lips quirked up , his expression something in between a grin and a grimace . “ you know , i once had a girl tell me that my dad losing his job was exactly like her dad dropping two places on the ‘ world’s billionaires list ’ that year . i ended up having to console her . and that’s not even in the top five of the most out of touch shit people have said to me here . ” he looked up at clifford , a question on his lips that he always wondered about . “ this place is crazy , man . do you even notice it ? ” caleb looked down at his camera once again ; accepting any kind of compliments or praise didn’t come naturally to him . instead , he turned the topic of conversation to clifford . “ i don’t think you have to . keep up with a schedule like mine , i mean . the benefit of having money is that you can fuck around more , make more mistakes , live your life the way you want to . why shouldn’t you take advantage of that ? ”

[calebfm]

cllifxrdr​:

     what was fun about kingshill was how many people you have the opportunity to meet , all different from one another . you had your athletes , your party monsters , spoiled brats , studious owls , and many many others . this is what made kingshill interesting and yet annoying at times , personalities would often clash, and it was tough to tell who was being your actually friend and who is barely tolerating you . and this was definitely one of those cases , clifford was used to having everything thanks to his parents’ money , he didn’t put much effort into things , knowing they would never be noticed by neither of his parents , his desire of proving he could do better was long gone . but with that came the numerous dramas he got himself in to . which often made him wonder  what would it be like to be in caleb’s shoes for once ? between practices and maintaining his perfect grades it was tough to say when he even had time to sleep . “oh, just wondering . you seem like you could use a break .” he said . ” you can always skip a day though , i don’t think people would get mad if you take a break , just for a day. ”

      caleb laughed quietly . he probably did look like he could use a break . it was also a surprisingly considerate thing to say , coming from clifford of all people , so he answered with as close to the truth as he knew it . ” it’s not about people getting mad at me . it’s about … letting people down , i guess . letting myself down , most of all . i just think – i don’t know, this is most likely our last time in an environment like this , where most people are actively trying to get us to succeed . where we’re not yet seen as completely full-grown adults who need to have it all figured it out , and we can just dabble and try a bunch of stuff . at the end of the road , i just want to have taken full advantage . you know what i mean ? ” he suspected it sounded ridiculous and hopelessly wide-eyed to someone like clifford , but it’s what he genuinely believed . opportunities like this didn’t come along twice for people like him , and the last thing he wanted is to look back on this time with regrets . maybe it was paranoia , pure and simple , but even taking that one day off might be the difference between meeting someone amazing and not meeting them . so he couldn’t and wouldn’t allow himself to stop or slow down .

[calebfm]

sicnnavk​:

     “ oh , please , like your reputation didn’t just get a boost by the mere mention of me being your plus one . “ she shakes her head with a little chuckle . the two’s banter was a favorite of sienna . like a dance she knew every step to . and while sometimes the exchange turned vicious , they both knew it was just the part of the game – a rulebook they had . being a social chair came with great amount of responsibilities . throw the pest parties , keep the house’s reputation in check and make sure you’re the best payed player on the field of the game . the later came with it’s own little text in the corner of the paper - engage in the annual dislike with the only person who held a match to your greatness . and this role was starred by none other than caleb . and sienna hated him , dramatically . accepting the offered cup , she poured some of the burning substance in it , alongside the unspoken ‘ thank you ‘ that came with it . “ i swear your invitees are absolutely horrendous . “ she notes with a shrug , bringing the beverage to her lips to take a sip . “ can’t relate . “ deciding that the situation they got involved in will no longer be spoken of – both for his and her own sake . 

     caleb cocks his head slightly , pausing to consider the words in earnest . outside of their shallow conversations , he only really knows the stories about her — she always seems to be in some kind of trouble , the kind of rich kid antics he has come to associate more with the sigma girls than with her sorority . not the kind of person he would associate himself with , if their position in their respective houses had not brought them into the same orbit . finally , he gives her a response devoid of any sarcasm . “ i think your definition of a good reputation might be a bit different from mine . ” he laughs at her jab , relaxed and unoffended now that there don’t seem to be any party crises going on that require his immediate attention . then , he gestures in the direction the tiresome male had stormed off in moments ago . “ if you mean that guy , you’re absolutely right — you’re not putting that one on me , though . you know he showed up for you , right ? he was under the impression he could make you jealous by sleeping with me , of all people . it was all part of his masterplan to make you realize you’re madly in love with him , or something . i’m not sure , i kind of tuned out after that . you really know how to pick ‘em . ”

[calebfm]

cllifxrdr​:

        it was no secret that cliff was one of those students , who didn’t put much effort in the things he did . he was in that point of his life that he felt like he didn’t have to push himself for things he was not interested in . however , not everyone on campus was like him , take caleb for example , who exceeded in everything , who he saw sitting on a bench having a break , probably after practice or after a jog . the two were polar opposites and yet clifford felt the need to approach him. “ don’t you ever get tired ? ”   

@calebfm​

        caleb looked up when the sound of clifford’s voice interrupted his meandering thoughts . his professors had been uncharacteristically slow with giving out the first assignments of the year , so he had taken the opportunity to go out and take some pictures of the campus ; something to remember the beginning of the school year by . however , he had zoned out a bit after setting himself down on a bench for a rest , and now his trusty old camera lay in his lap , nearly forgotten . “ hm ? what an existential question , ” he noted drily , as he fiddled with the camera buttons to avoid looking the other in the eyes . it’s not that he disliked clifford — he didn’t even know him that well , really , and he’d always been taught not to judge books by their covers . it’s just that the way he presented himself … it was everything caleb hated about kingshill : rich kids who created most of their own problems and then spent half the time running from those self-created problems , and the other half spending their parents’ money . still , avoiding making enemies was usually the best course of action in a place like this , where most of the students could afford to hire someone to ruin his life without making a single dent in their bank account . “ yeah , all the time . sometimes i wish i had the power to stop time just so i could sleep for like , twelve hours . why do you ask ? ”

[calebfm]

sicnnavk​:

     the welcome back party thrown by the beta tau was a mess to sienna . maybe because it was thrown by none other than caleb himself , or because she failed to be the center of attention this evening – it didn’t matter . she was bored , searching for something to entertain her . and while her caramel orbs were going around the place , searching for the annoying male to torture - she found him . being harassed with unwanted attention by someone she could say from the back of his varsity jacket she has slept with before . narrowing her eyes , she makes her way towards the scene , eyebrows raising up as she inched closer and got familiar with the situation . tapping the taller male’s shoulder , she waits patiently for him to turn towards her , before throwing the watered down vodka from her cup onto his face . fauxed anger visible on her features , as she inched closer . “ if i see you speaking a word to my date again , i’ll drag you out of here by the back of your pathetic jacket . “ she hisses out in his face , maintaining eye-contact while she stepped away , closer to caleb . “ your party sucks , but that guy sucks harder , so you’re welcome . “ she shoots him a sly little smirk , while hand reaches for the bottle of vodka on the table nearby . 

@calebfm​

     all seemed to be on track at caleb’s first party of the year . the few annoyingly drunk freshmen students that had caused some trouble earlier had kindly been led the way to their dorms , and now cal was simply checking in on people , making sure that spirits remained high . however , the task had not been made easier by the man who had been following him around all night , pushing drinks into his hands – drinks that caleb promptly handed to other party guests . now , the guy ( edward ? richard ? it was something ridiculous that sounded like old money , caleb was sure ) seemed to be fed up with cal’s cold shoulder , and leaned in uncomfortably close as he grabbed his upper arm . “ dude , c’mon — let me take you to my place . ” before caleb had a chance to respond to that appealing offer , sienna’s voice cut through the sounds of the party , telling edward-richard off and emptying her drink in his face . caleb stepped back in surprise as a few drops of the vodka splashed into his face and on his shirt . he watched incredulously as the guy stormed off , before quickly forming his features into a scowl and turning to sienna . “ i can’t believe you told him i’m your date . i have a reputation to keep up , y’know .” the words were said in a condescending tone , but they were undercut by the evident struggle to keep a grin off his face . grabbing a cup from the table , he scooted it towards her so she could pour herself a drink . with their relationship being what it was, that was as close to a ‘ thank you ’ as she was going to get.

[calebfm]

ofgoldenhues​:

closed starter for : @calebfm​.

    * ♡ another sip from her bottle of vodka water . lo took a deep breath , the air slowly being released from her lungs , coming out of her peach colored lips . the world was spinning and she had a hard time finding balance in her 5 inch heels . but finally , she was all by herself , behind a closed door . her body finally felt some relaxation , a smile grew wider on her face . however , as she glanced to the side , she saw another person in the room . 

fuck .

“ oh — you startled me … ” , she chuckled nervously at the other . “ i’m just … you know . hydration is important . ” , lifting the water bottle , which was in fact filled with vodka , she flashed him a fake smile . i hope he doesn’t notice i’m drunk. “ do you smell this ? is it alcohol ? have you been drinking ? ” , dumb lo . was she now implying that the other student was drunk ? god , she made no sense at all and was an awful liar . “ anyway ! what are you doing here ? ”

    thump , thump , thump . despite the closed door , the song playing downstairs was clearly audible — something fast and aggressive , suitable for the raucous turn the night had taken . caleb had always liked the zeta nu theta house for the laidback nature of their parties , their events missing the frantic energy some other houses seemed to revel in . however , it seemed that a few other students had had that same thought and had crashed the party , the first zeta party of the new school year becoming much larger than he had anticipated . it was a bit overwhelming , in fact .

caleb’s head leaned against the wall , legs tucked to his chest as he rested his eyes for a blessed moment of quiet . it didn’t last long , though – good things never do . his head shot up as a whirlwind of a girl came into his field of vision .

instead of pointing out that she was the one that had barged in on him , an apology was quick to fall from his lips . “ sorry , i didn’t – you okay ? ” he interrupted himself , eyebrow raising as he took in the water bottle she was holding .  “ you seem a bit — ” wasted . “ ... off . ” ignoring the rest of her questions , he lightly shrugged his shoulders , leaning back to relax into his former pose as his eyes remained trained on her . “ just taking a break. what are you doing here ? ”

[calebfm]

❝ i’m just saying — there’s no way someone can keep up with a schedule like that and not be popping something ❞ CALEB GARDNER, who resembles JORDAN FISHER and is the SOCIAL CHAIR of BETA TAU RHO , is TWENTY-TWO years old and responds to HE / HIM .𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘮𝘪𝘳𝘢 ; 𝘴𝘩𝘦/𝘩𝘦𝘳

hello hello one and all, tis mira coming to you unfashionably late from the gmt+1 timezone 🌻 i overuse emojis & underuse my common sense and that’s all you need to know about me tbh ... so let’s move right along to telling you about my boy caleb !

so cal is a lil’ type A monster, between classes, basketball, his various jobs & his frat position it’s a miracle he gets 6-8 hours of sleep every night ( actually that’s a lie, he often doesn’t )

which is partially just who he is as a person, but also comes from having major imposter syndrome :/ he comes from a family who struggled to make ends meet + as the youngest kid of his family with four older brothers it was easy for him to fade into the background and not really get much attention or praise . ( he has a very loving family though, he was just a bit of a shy kid and his parents didn’t really have the time to make him come out of his shell ) all of this to say, when he got the acceptance letter + full ride to this fancy school it was all a bit overwhelming & he still has a hard time believing the administration didn’t make a mistake . he often feels super out of place & has even talked to his guidance counselor about dropping out a few times, but in his heart he knows that it would be a dumb decision and he’s nothing if not rational

he studies finance which is about as exciting as it sounds ( sorry to the finance nerds out there, couldn’t be me but i respect it ), he picked it to have job security more than anything else . he’s not a straight A student by any means but he does as well as could be expected from someone who has very little time to study

he loves photography ! he started a lil’ side gig for event photography his first year at kingshill which got pretty big through word of mouth, so he’s often in the shadows at the parties and events his classmate’s parents throw to take pics ( but when he practices it as a hobby he mostly just walks around in nature a lot and takes pics there, those are the rare quiet moments in his life )

some more about his personality: he’s a lil’ more on the introverted side, a great listener though & just a very warm kind of guy all around. the type of guy that rarely starts a conversation first, but once you get to talking you end up having a weirdly deep conversation even though you barely know the dude

also usually puts other’s needs in front of his own and has a hard time saying no to things, even if they’re a major inconvenience

however ! holding his own in a big family with annoying & loud older brothers has made it pretty easy for him to fake a more extroverted personality . people often have a hard time believing that the quiet kid diligently taking notes in their stats course & the frat guy handing out shots and smooth talking people into staying a bit longer at the biggest party of the year are the same person

which is to say that he’s a super effective social chair tbh … since he’s able to keep up with both the boring administration & organization side of things, but he can also liven up a party that’s growing stale

the constant social interaction required of him in his role ( together with his busy ass schedule ) definitely takes a toll though & you’ll often find him hiding out in quiet corners at parties to take a breather or napping in weird places during the day

hmm those are the most important things for now i think, my wanted tag is here but it’s super bare bones atm so i’m mostly putting it here for future reference ! i want so so many plots but a few i’d kill for:

a dumb lil’ social chair rivalry about who throws the best parties where they outdo each other in more and more ridiculous ways every time & try to sabotage each other, can be serious if your muse is very competitive, but most likely it’d just be lighthearted dumbassery

exes... good terms or bad terms, cal honestly doesn’t have a whole lot of them since he doesn’t prioritize romantic relationships in his life at all (*cal vc* i can squeeze in a movie night from 9-11 on thursday in three weeks, does that work?), maybe the two had different expectations of how serious it’d be?

on that note, caleb always thought he was straight but has tentatively started to experiment in college, so uh . cute boys hit him up 😌

someone who met him at party while he was drunk & in some kind of a rare bad mood, he was rude to them and/or embarrassed them in some public way, because of this bad first impression they think he’s the stereotypical obnoxious frat dude & want nothing to do with him . he’s usually more than fine with people leaving him alone but this is about the principle of the thing, y’know? so he’s determined to prove them wrong & does nice things for them to get them to like him, because caleb realizing that some people just don’t like you is simply unrealistic

rich kid who is condescending & rude since they found out cal is here on scholarship (either they’re just anti poor people or there’s a deeper reason for their dislike) … all i want is for some punches to be thrown 🙏

drinking buddies who can only stand to be around each other when they’re intoxicated

a sorority girl who he has a mutual agreement with that they’re other’s +1 at frat/srat functions, it’s probably all platonic but they have a good time & it stops randos from hitting on them

and so so much more ! i have a lot of ideas but i mostly just like making my plots personal to the characters themselves, so let’s vibe & figure something out together

i’m not gonna ask y’all to like this to plot because i am the Worst Person ™ and i will forget to check the notes, so please just im me or hit me up on discord if you wanna plot 🥺 and if you’re shy don’t worry, i’ll come bother you soon enough 💖 that would be all, thank you for reading !

[calebfm]

[calebfm]

[calebfm]

[calebfm]

I’m not afraid of failure but I am afraid to become one.

malessere   (via ninanobreva)

[calebfm]

[calebfm]

God, I just want to be important. I just want to be someone real.

Ritapa Neogi, from “Marine Biology,” published in Alien Mouth (via lifeinpoetry)

[calebfm]

[calebfm]

I break myself  to fit into boxes  that other people  have built for me

confined || O.L. (via poetbitesback)