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🍂🍄🍁 reblog to wish your beloved mutuals a blessed and lovely fall/autumn 🍁🍄🍂

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This scene? Instant serotonin.

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I Began reading again

I stopped reading years ago, when my grandma decided I wasn’t going to stay at her place anymore (I didn’t want to go to my mom’s and my dad wasn’t in the country, so I was uncertain about many things. Everything felt unstable, and I didn’t know what was going to happen). the school, the teacher plus the mandatory readings became unbearably dense. The books were so boring, and the tests made me anxious because I only had mediocre to bad grades. Eventually I lost interest in getting good grades at all because I was going to be kicked out of the house anyways and I didn’t know where I’d live. My grades weren’t good in the begining because I had a hard time concentrating, and being interested in a bunch of shitty poetry written by what-was-their-name chilean author, I prefered to draw in her stupid classes, lock myself away from the thought that, in a couple of months, I didn’t know where the hell I was going to go.  

Test after test i kept failing, because I didn’t like the books they were giving me, because the teacher kept saying only the brightest would get good grades, and I knew I wasn’t bright at all, and because I knew it didn’t matter how good, bad, or mediocre my performance in that shitty school was, I was going to get kicked out anyways, because I wasn’t welcomed, so why even bother. (The teacher can eat shit too, yelling at us the first day leaving it clear she didn’t like us and nobody was going to get good grades? Is not like I can learn from someone I don’t like so why try at all)

I wanted to finish the full series of narnia in the school’s library, which I was so close to do. I wanted to ask my aunt to buy me the next book of the molly moon series, because I finished the first she gave me on christmas at least twice. I wanted to reread charlie and the glass elevator and matilda, and I was eating my way through the hunger games. 

The librarian liked me, or at least I think we had a good relationship. she let me have as many books as i’d like, and stay and doodle in the library for as long as I wanted. My dad always made sure to let me know my art wasn’t that special, and I knew I wasn’t smart either, so I gave up on trying to be great, and just aimed to mediocrity, because at least, I wouldn’t have pressure on me and could somewhat enjoy it. Only read what I liked, but eventually gave up on it too, when I got bad grades in tests that were supposed to be about the books I loved the most. I was confident, but blanked out, and forgot most of the story in front of the test. I was failing so hard even on the things I liked, why read at all, I clearly wasn’t learning shit from them as much as I’d liked them anyways, and it showed.

A lot of things happened, bounced through many places, and when I finally managed to get a grip on things and felt some sort of stability, I realised I couldn’t focuss on books anymore, as much as I wanted. I grew anxious, felt like an idiot whenever I tried, because “I’m stupid”, I can’t focuss, I can’t write, my grammar’s shit, I get distracted, I get words mixed, and forget too fast. I wen’t without reading a propper book years, I went without writing nor even trying for years as well, avoiding reading even. then, I started going to the other extreme, making monumental and stressful efforts to try and finish books and comics i’ve started out of the nostalgia of enjoying something that was mine again, like in that library, something that didn’t need to be dictated by fucking grades, a bitch of a teacher, and the stress of negligent family anymore.

I finally read a 450 page book a coworker recomended me a month ago, and I felt it again, I actually enjoyed it! read the whole thing in 2 weeks! I hated how taboo it was in many parts ;;;; but the thrill of it kept me hooked, and I came out of the experience feeling like I needed more, so I looked up the author, watched a couple reviews on her on youtube, and bought another kindle book, the first in a series. it was 500 pages long... I read it in a week and a half, stayed up longer than I should’ve in a work night, reading during lunch, in the metro, and in any free time I had. 

I can’t say it’ll be the same with other books, there will be books I’ll hate, and I’ll have to find a niche again (other than fantasy and most recently dark romance apparently) but I’m happy, I feel like I’m in that library again, forgetting about my worries and work and getting completely submerged into the story, focussed, quick, sharp, and even impressing the people who recomended me the book in the first place to read it together, who’re still halfway through the first, not believing I was able to finish it so quickly! 

I’ve impressed people with my reading skills, and shared the excitement of it, shared books I read many years ago, and realised... I’ve read quite a lot when I was little, and I enjoyed it. 

I am not stupid, even if I feel like it most of the time... and I love reading again... And I won’t let that be taken away from me, ever.

[callmenadki]

most of the time everything sucks but when the sky is blanketed in dark blue-grey clouds after heavy raining and the sun starts to peek through the clouds so that the tops of trees glint pale green and every white structure is starkly, blindingly silhouetted against the sky i’m ok.

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I mad agree with this.

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witcsonas or my two friends <3 

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dragon examples

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dragon babies!

I’m open to make ‘em for $15, so you can have one too! just write me a note here to take your commission (i don’t see my activity on tumblr as much sorry)

[callmenadki]

i never talk about these things but i can’t remain silent.

i know tumblr doesn’t give a SHIT when things happen in countries outside the “most popular ones” (such as the usa & england). it’s true, don’t lie to me. y’all don’t give A FUCK. not every issue and problem in said countries gets the appropriate exposure but in general shit shows up on the news WORLD FREAKING  WIDE. you set up donations, you help out, your spread the word, you say “pray for x”……

southern europe is burning. 

my country is burning.

people are dying - at home, on the road, trying to run away, in their cars.

yesterday my country had 300 active fires.

people are losing EVERYTHING they own.

i have a friend that is on a train right now passing through places that have been burnt to the ground and she says the smoke is so intense it’s getting inside the train and she can barely breathe.

and yet, even though several people (myself included) have been trying to bring awareness to what has been happening in southern europe… what we get from most of you, those not part of the countries suffering, is silence. we don’t ask for money, we don’t ask for shit other than a reblog to spread awareness… something you can delete in 24/48hrs if you wish. 

i don’t know what to tell you. i’m angry. i’m frustrated. i’m disappointed. i feel like i’m screaming into the void. “a reblog does nothing” - you know that’s a damn lie, you know exposure always helps, you know people start paying attention when posts on social media become popular. my country in particular is a small one, we get ZERO exposure. y’all are only starting to figure out we even fucking exist bc of the shit we’ve been winning lately. 

but hell, if the EU doesn’t give a shit, why should some user on tumblr dot com?

again, i don’t know what to tell you so i’ll let the images speak for themselves: 

An image captured by a Nasa satellite shows a thick plume of smoke blowing southward from the Greek island of Chios over the island of Crete

Torneros de Jamuz, Spain

Duca, Croatia

A helicopter from Italy’s civil protection service drops water on a fire near the railway between Venice and Trieste

Residents take refuge on the beach as a wildfire burns on the mountain next to the village of Lithi, on the Greek island of Chios

Men gather cattle during a forest fire in Vieira de Leiria, Marinha Grande, Portugal.

Charred trees are seen on the hills above the Cloister of Thivaidas on Mount Athos, a World Heritage Site in Greece

Portugal

[callmenadki]

There's nothing worst than when a small thing becomes a feeling so strong it turns into stomach ache and the urge of crying but not being able to.

That's the time when I know I have to get out of my room, take a walk or get distracted. I can't keep letting my feelings take the best of me, I can't keep shielding myself behind the "it's just anxiety" and do nothing about it

[callmenadki]

How do you protect yourself from being stalked online by your parents?

I often get messages from teens living with their abusive parents telling me about how terrifying it is for them to even look at my blog in case their parent finds out. I was a teenager before social networking on the internet. Honestly, when I was a teenager there was barely an internet yet. So, I don’t know how people protect themselves but I feel like probably there are ways. If you know please do share! A lot of people would find it helpful.

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