cantkeepmyeyesoffofyou-x

[cantkeepmyeyesoffofyou-x]

Hi hello good afternoon I am supplying you with wlw book recs because we all deserve them. Please reblog with your own recs because I’ve only been reading sapphic books for a few months so haven’t covered loads of amazing ones, and hopefully this can become a massive rec list of wlw books :)

Also please please please check the TWs for all of these so that you can stay happy, healthy and safe 💗.

Fantasy:

- The Priory of the Orange Tree: [“We may be small, and we may be young, but we will shake the world for our beliefs”] Look I know you’ve all heard of it. Now read it. Swords. Queer women. Queer women with swords. Dragons. Castles. Battles. Many many many pages of beautiful words. There is nothing missing from this book.

- Cinderella is Dead: [“I don't want to be saved by some knight in shining armour. I'd like to be the one in the armour, and I'd like to be the one doing the saving.”] Fuck the patriarchy. Dystpian. Gay. Fantasy. Cinderella is dead (wow). Badass main character. Fighting for rights and fighting for eachother. 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

- Girls of Paper and Fire: [“Instead of disappearing, she makes me feel reappeared. Reimagined. Her touch shapes me, draws out the boldness that had been hiding in my core.”] We said learning to heal! We said finding safety in eachothers arms! We said fighting the oppressive government! We said fuck the patriarchy! We said fantasy women with swords! We said (kinda) enemies to lovers! We said please check the trigger warnings for this book!

- A Dark and Hollow Star: [“The number one law of the universe is choice, after all — bad things happen to the people who take that option away from you.”] Fantasy that actually uses the words bisexual and lesbian and gay and genderfluid!!! Urban fantasy. Four main characters: two mlm, two wlw. Swords and monsters and fae and powers and tension and fate. Read for the pretty cover, stay for the characters.

- Gideon the Ninth: [“I cannot conceive of a universe without you in it”] This book is dark and horror-y and gory and weird as fuck. This book has skeletons and necromancy and a huge weird haunted house and everyone dying under mysterious circumstances. This book has enemies to i-dont-even-know-what. You will not know what is happening in this book but you will love it. Trust me.

Dystopian:

- We Set the Dark on Fire: [“Maybe this was trust ... Giving someone the power to ruin you, betting your life on the belief that they wouldn't.”] once again, repeat after me: fuck the patriarchy. Rebellion. Enemies to lovers. Dystopian world where every man gets two wives. Guess what happens 👀

Contemporary:

- The Henna Wars: [“I've never really thought about having a type. I guess my type is....beautiful girl. Which is a lot of them. Most of them? Pretty much all girls”]. Girl dealing with the aftermath of coming out to her parents has a crush on a girl who is competing against her in a school competition. Main character is muslim, bangladeshi and lesbian and love interest is black, brazilian and bisexual. Just read it. Don’t do it for me. Do it for yourself. You deserve to smile.

- Her Royal Highness: [“PERRY I’VE FOUND AN AMERICAN!”] Look this book may be cliche and predictable and a little ridiculous at times but it made me unfathomably happy so I don’t care. Scottish boarding school+royalty+an american. Enemies to lovers but not im-gonna-stab-you enemies to lovers (which ive read my fair share of truet me), more like why-are-you-so-unbearably-irritating enemies to lovers you know?

- Written in the Stars: [“I’ll break into your apartment and move everything three inches to the left and fuck with your flow, okay?”] Good, solid contemporary new adult romance. Enemies to lovers. Grump x sunshine. Actually has a sex scene (this might not be everyones thing i just noticed wlw books often skirt around them so thought id point it out). Ugh its just so cute.

- You Should See Me In a Crown: [“When I open my mouth, everything happens so fast—the way I can feel her everywhere, the way my hands steady instead of shake where they tangle in her hair because I’ve maybe never felt so grounded before, so rooted in a moment”] What happens when a black queer girl tries for prom queen in a weird, cliquey prom-obsessed school? What happens when one of the other competitors is the unabashedly gay cute new girl? This is what happens. Guys. Guys. Guys. Read this one oh my god. I say this about every book but seriously READ THIS ONE. So so so so so good. Everything you could ever want in a queer coming of age book.

- The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo: [“You do not know how fast you have been running, how hard you have been working, how truly exhausted you are, until someone stands behind you and says, “It’s OK, you can fall down now. I’ll catch you.”] I know you’ve all heard this but you’re about to hear it again. Queer women in the 50s? Sign me up! Sign yourself up! Buy this book and then read this book! Freak out about this book! Cry about this book! Tell everyone you’ve ever met to read this book! Cry some more about this book! Make this book your whole personality!

Thriller(?):

- The Girls I’ve Been: [“There is no normal. There is just a bunch of people pretending there is. There's just different levels of pain. Different stages of safe. The biggest con of all is that there's a normal.”] Thriller. Guns. Menstrual cups. Con artists. That awkward moment when you’re stuck in a bank robbery with two murderous men, a child, your ex boyfriend and your current girlfriend. Not romance but has romantic themes (established relationship). Coming to terms with childhood trauma and abuse. This book is short but deceptively heavy with the themes it deals with so, again, please check the TWs.

Ones on my TBR:

- Last Night at the Telegraph Club

- The Miseducation of Cameron Post

- A Memory Called Empire

- This Is How You Lose the Time War

- Girl, Serpent, Thorn

- This Poison Heart

- One Last Stop

- She Who Became The Sun (omg i want to read this so so so badly)

- The Weight of the Stars

- These Feathered Flames

- Honey Girl

- The Chosen and the Beautiful

- She Drives Me Crazy

[cantkeepmyeyesoffofyou-x]

🦇 Azriel Headcannons 🦇

He changed his last name to Rhys’s when he reached his majority.

Which is Darling change my mind

But Azriel doesn’t actively use any last name. He’s just Azriel but the Darling is there on paper.

Contrary to popular belief, his favorite color isn’t red or cobalt blue—it’s teal. He remembers his mother telling him that was her favorite color.

Teal low key a surprise tool for later innit 👀

He sings so rarely the inner circle jokes it happens once a century. When he does sing, Cassian—a la Stepbrothers—says “you are the song bird of your generation.”

Stupidly good at everything. He can watch a group of people playing a card game he’s never heard of, learn it in one round, then promptly beat their asses at the game.

A sore loser. Will angrily sulk.

He was scared of the dark as a child 😭

He became a Shadowsinger as a defense mechanism. The shadows sang to him for comfort and so he listened to their language and never forgot his only friends once he left that dark cell of his childhood.

He will never get over the smell of oil.

When he was left at Windhaven and Rhys’s mother took him in (whose name I headcannon as Haizea which means wind), Azriel didn’t speak for two months.

The first time he spoke was when Cassian asked what had happened to Az’s hands, to which he responded, “what happened to your bigass forehead?”

Because Cassian has a deep scar from the top of his head down his left eyebrow.

Rhys was delighted and laughed for hours.

To this day, when Azriel flies he still hears Cassian and Rhys’s voices in his head teaching him how to bank or fly through a rough patch of wind 🥺

Right before Rhys was imprisoned UtM, the bay boi’s got into a stupid fight. During the 49 years without their other brother, Azriel and Cassian spent almost every day together they felt so guilty.

Azriel is left handed.

He is a hella INTJ on the Myers Brigg.

Would never admit it, but has the biggest sweet-tooth. 

Is not enthused by flowers.

His personal love language is physical touch.

Would 10000000% join Nesta’s bookclub and become a romance bro.

I have soooo many Gwynriel headcannons that they will have to be their own post.

BUT. They are mates and they are lovely and they deserve each other 😩

Loves the beach. Has a dream of building a house that overlooks the coast of the Sidra.

^ To be continued in the Gwynriel post 👀

When Chris Evans said he’s an ass man, Azriel felt that.

Shadowplayshadowplayshadowplay

^ he puts Shadow Hands Dorian to shame.

Whiskey > Wine

🎂 need I say more?

Is the Funny Friend

NOT the Responsible Friend

IS the Chaos Friend.

Need to bury a body? He’s your call. In a bar fight? He’s right behind you. In a jail cell? Sitting beside you.

Savage but we been knew.

His eyes are more brown then hazel, but sometimes you can catch the most gorgeous green.

The story of how Azriel got Truth-Teller is really fucking bloody and 😦 and like something out of game of thrones, but long story short Truth-Teller is a Shadowsinger blade and Azriel’s birth father was in possession of it through nefarious means. So, Azriel took it. (This happens during the punishment of Az’s half-brothers that Rhys alludes to)

^if anyone wants my full story on this I’d be happy to make another bloody, Shakespearean post about it.

Is actually a lightweight but has a great poker face so you’d never know he’s drunk until he’s DRUNK drunk.

He’s a chatty drunk and the biggest fucking gossip. Love that for him.

His favorite shows would be the Real Housewives franchise and Game of Thrones. There is no in between.

Obviously a Slytherin, also obviously I think he’s a type 6w5 on the enneagram.

If he could turn into an animal like the ToG fae, his other form (outside of the bat wings) would be a Great Grey Owl

Chaotic Neutral alignment

Sleeps like once a week.

He buys coffee beans from the Summer Court whenever he’s there because I headcannon that Summer farms beans. Is now addicted.

When teaching Feyre how to fly, he discovered that she indeed did have the biggest wingspan. He has yet to tell anyone.

[cantkeepmyeyesoffofyou-x]

Just a PSA that I am truly an IDIOT!

*ive decided to aggressively post things that don’t acknowledge this TV show madness so here’s a fun story about me being an actual dumbass*

For over a month I have been confused by the whole “cut the ribbon” thing in ACOSF. Is it really that hard to cut a ribbon? Like is this actually some big test?

Well recently my friend informed me that I was picturing the whole situation very much incorrectly.

I WAS REALLY OUT HERE FOR WEEKS PICTURING THIS RIBBON TIED TAUT BETWEEN 2 POINTS.

I DID NOT REALIZE IT WAS TIED TO THE TOP OF A BEAM AND JUST FLUTTERING DOWN LIKE YEAH THAT’D BE FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE TO CUT.

I’m aware that this is described very clearly in the book.... I am just literally an idiot omfg for WEEKS I’ve been confused 🙄🙄🙄

[cantkeepmyeyesoffofyou-x]

So, I finally found a good quality SS of this.

She was working on ACOWAR at this time with Lucien and Elain in mind as a couple. It's pretty clear she set up all of what happened to fulfill the tension, growth and healing part that she wants for both of them and it's something we've yet to see.

That's why we haven't seen them in a setting where they are interacting or got a glimpse of their chemistry. This is why there is some tension between them and Elain is avoiding Lucien. She is saving it for their "possible" book.

We don't know why Elain reacts the way she does towards Lucien, it could be a million different things. Especially if we saw her act decently towards him in ACOWAR. Especially if he is the reason she found the motivation to get out of her bubble and get better before the War happened even though everyone else tried with her but it wasn't until Lucien that his presence made a difference and you can't deny that because it's canon.

Not to me, I realized—to someone behind me. Pale and thin, Elain stood atop the stairs. Their gazes locked and held. But Elain said nothing. Did not so much as take one step downward. Lucien inclined his head in a bow, the movement hiding the gleam in his eye—the longing and sadness. And when Lucien turned to signal to Rhys to go … He did not glance back at Elain. Did not see the half step she took toward the stairs—as if she’d speak to him. Stop him. Then Rhys was gone, and Lucien with him. When I turned to offer Elain breakfast, she’d already walked away. - ACOWAR, pg. 345

*Feyre doesn't see Elain after that and Battle of Adriata happens right after this scene*

*Rhys and Feyre return to the Townhouse after battle/prison visit*

There was a slight sparkle in her brown eyes. As if she’d been enjoying herself with them. -- Elain offered a faint smile in return and nodded. She was hungry. She was … doing something. Learning something. - ACOWAR, pg. 386

I don't like that some are guilt tripping Eluciens about wanting him to be with Elain, making it all about not respecting Elain's choice when Sarah is the one that established this ship. She seems to be holding off from dropping any crumbs for Elucien. We're not supposed to see their relationship develop now because it will happen when Elain breaks free from the IC. When Elain is in a setting where she will grow.

And whenever he is in Velaris to report on missions he doesn't always come over to see his mate because he respects her space and won't pressure her to see him.

Neither Lucien and Elain have healed. Sarah in her own words says that she wants them to heal together. Have we seen that? Obviously not. Not yet.

So my dear Eluciens the door is still open for you.

[cantkeepmyeyesoffofyou-x]

A lot of people seem to miss this crucial point:

The Cauldron does not automatically gift mates when someone turns from a human to Fae. The Mating bonds exist from birth. For a human, turning Fae only makes it stronger.

• Rhysand was drawn to Feyre and felt something when she was still human + they each had dreams about each other "especially Rhys" years before they met + the mating bond didn't lock in place until Feyre spoke to Rhys before he left to Velaris (in UTM). -- “I think transforming you into Fae made the bond lock into place permanently. I’d known it existed, but it hit me then—hit me so strong that I panicked.”

• Cassian was drawn to Nesta when she was human and when Hybern soldiers dragged her to the Cauldron, even in his bloody mess he wanted to reach out to her. -- "Cassian stirred again, his shredded wings twitching and spraying blood, his muscles quivering. At Nesta’s shouts, her raging, his eyes fluttered open, glazed and unseeing, an answer to some call in his blood, a promise he’d made her. But pain knocked him under again."

• Lucien met Elain during the Cauldron situation for the first time and he was already trying to reach her to save her before she was turned Fae, he was already drawn to her. -- “Lucien staggered a step forward as Elain was gripped between two guards and hoisted up. She began kicking then, weeping while her feet slammed into the sides of the Cauldron as if she’d push off it, as if she’d knock it down— “That is enough.” Lucien surged for Elain, for the Cauldron.”

As for the argument which says that the Cauldron chose Lucien for Elain instead of Azriel because Azriel was too injured, Cassian was injured too yet he turned out to be Nesta's mate. So, mating bond does not come into existence simply by turning into Fae, it's been there since birth.

This user on Instagram sums it best:

Rhysand had always been Feyre's mate since she came into existence, Cassian had always been Nesta's mate since she came into existence and Lucien had always been Elain's mate since she came into existence.

[cantkeepmyeyesoffofyou-x]

I joined the ACOTAR fandom this month after the release of ACOSF. I read ACOTAR 3 years ago now, when everything was out so I could read them all. I never joined the fandom though.

I joined this month to discuss opinions, talk about favourite characters and ships I like. However, this past month between the Elriel and Gwynriel shipping war has made me decide that the ACOTAR fandom isn’t worth it. I’m not going to lie, I liked Elriel when reading ACOTAR a few years ago, but after reading ACOSF I did jump ship to Gwynriel. But all this fighting and petty behaviour has just turned me off the fandom - after only ONE month! Honestly guys, I shipped Bellarke for 7 years and had to deal with the whole Clexa thing, but it’s nothing compared to this ship war.

I think I’m just going to go back into my hidey-hole and just read the next ACOTAR book on my lonesome and try to convince my sister to read it and talk about it with her as the online fandom for ACOTAR isn’t my scene. However, if you like other fantasy/paranormal books, Marvel or Star Wars (Reylo fan obviously) give us a follow!

Thanks everyone, it’s been a real rollercoaster of a month. ✌️

[cantkeepmyeyesoffofyou-x]

GWYNRIEL LITTLE MERMAID RETELLING:

as i’m sure most of you have seen the little mermaid theory going around for gwynriel, but if you haven’t you can find it here:

sarah j maas has said that she wants to write a little mermaid retelling, and then began to write gwyn... who is exactly like ariel. coincidence? i think not.

there’s many similarities like:

mermaid ~ water nymph

red hair

ariel longing to see the outside world but she’s always been stuck in the sea her whole life ~ gwyn longing to see the outside world and staying in temples of sangravah and the library her whole life and never leaving. “A lace parasol leaned against her other shoulder, and she twirled it idly as she surveyed the windows, the world beyond, and said in a hushed voice, “I sometimes wonder if I shall ever have the courage to go out there again. I fear every day that I won’t.”

“the Little Mermaid has the most enchanting and beautiful voice in the world” ~ gwyn singing and having a beautiful voice that is remarked by nesta to be unique and enchanting

“Ariel’s personality is curious, spunky, and strong-willed. Once Ariel decides she wants something, she's determined to get it, no matter what her father may say.” ~ gwyn is curious as she tends to ask lots of questions (az chapter) and extremely determined. “I don’t want to take the safe road.” She pointed to the mountain, to the slender path upward. “I want to take that road.” Her voice thickened. “I want to take the road that no one dares travel, and I want to travel it with you two. No matter what may befall us. Not as Illyrians, not for their titles, but as something new. To prove to them, to everyone, that something new and different might triumph over their rules and restrictions. (...) “I have been broken once before,” Gwyn said, her voice clear. “I survived it. And I will not be broken again—not even by this mountain.” “Gwyn to push her group harder. She wanted to be the first. Wanted Nesta and Emerie and her to be the ones who wiped the smirks from Azriel’s and Cassian’s faces. Especially Azriel’s.”

merrill/koschei ~ ursula (there is also a very interesting theory of merrill being evil, that makes a lot of sense!)

prince eric being oblivious like the whole story ~ azriel not seeing what’s infront of him.

“You have the sweetest voice of any who dwell here in the depths of the sea, and you believe that you will be able to charm the prince with it also,” ~ “he could have sworn a faint, beautiful singing followed him. Could have sworn his shadows sang in answer.”

and more than you can see in the link above.

now let’s get to the interesting part...

i’ve been browsing through sarah j maas’ pinterest boards, and i’ve seen a lot of a similar reoccurring theme in the posts she has saved...

she’s saved lots of posts related to the little mermaid in her pinterest as: (i had to put them in a grid to make them all fit since there’s much)

she also saved art that is drawn for the tale specifically! examples shown:

i’ve also found some potentially gwyn related art that she saved as well:

and then there’s this one that i think is quite important to note:

(note: i have not browsed through all her pins, so there could possibly be more. but this is just what i’ve even seen so far.)

ALSO: the boards that i have looked through that contained those pins have been last updated 1-2 years ago. and sjm started writing acosf in 2018👀

gwynriel little mermaid retelling coming? a definite possibility...

(note as well: to the group of people who try to point out that the little mermaid ends in a tragic way, let me point out the fact that SJM said her novels get a happy ending. and she said she wants to write a little mermaid retelling. so yes, she will be changing it to a happy ending if so. she’s obviously not going to copy the tale word for word.)

[cantkeepmyeyesoffofyou-x]

Who the next book will be about?

Just a comparison between the amount of interactions between Azriel and Gwyn + Azriel and Elain. SJM said it's kind of obvious in ACOSF who the next book will be about. Excluding the Bonus Chapter because both had significant scenes with Azriel (though it started with Elain and ended with Gwyn).

Gwyn and Azriel scenes in ACOSF:

- Gwyn had been distracted today—one eye on the other side of the ring. Cassian could only assume she was watching his brother, who had given Gwyn a small smile of greeting upon arrival. Gwyn hadn’t returned it. Cassian cursed himself for a fool. He should have asked her if she’d be comfortable with Azriel here. Perhaps he should have asked all the priestesses about including another male, but especially Gwyn—whom Azriel had found that day in Sangravah. She’d said nothing about it during the lesson. Only glanced every now and then toward Az, who remained dutifully focused on his charges. Cassian couldn’t read the expression on her face.

- Gwyn let out a high-pitched noise that was nothing but pure excitement. Azriel, on the other side of the ring with the rest of the priestesses, half-turned at the sound, brows high.

-“Done,” Gwyn declared, the white ribbon fluttering in the wind where it hung from the beam. Behind them, a few of the priestesses working with Azriel had turned to see what the ribbon business was about. The shadowsinger crossed his arms, angling his head, but remained in his half of the ring.

- “We slice the ribbon in two,” Emerie asked Gwyn warily, “and our training is complete?” Gwyn again glanced to Azriel, who drifted closer. She said, “I’m not entirely sure.”

- Azriel had winnowed her and Cassian here after training, but hadn’t lingered. Apparently, Gwyn wanted him to go over dagger handling, so he’d left them with a promise to return in an hour.

*After Winter Solstice*

- Cassian glanced over at Az, but his attention was fixed on the young priestess, admiration and quiet encouragement shining from his face.

- Gwyn asked Az, her teal eyes bright, “What do we get if we finish the course?” Az’s shadows danced around him. “Since there’s no chance in hell any of you will finish the course, we didn’t bother to get a prize.” Boos sounded. Gwyn lifted her chin in challenge. “We look forward to proving you wrong.”

- Indeed, Azriel and Cassian had just leaned against the wall, arms crossed, and smiled at them the entire time. Gwyn threw Azriel a withering stare as she strode past him. “See you tomorrow, Shadowsinger,” she tossed over a shoulder. Az stared after her, brows high with amusement. When he turned back, Nesta grinned. “You have no idea what you just started,” she said. Az angled his head, hazel eyes narrowing as Gwyn reached the archway. “Remember how Gwyn was with the ribbon?” Nesta winked and clapped the shadowsinger on the shoulder. “You’re the new ribbon, Az.”

- And when Gwyn reached the finish line, bloody and panting and grinning so wildly her teal eyes glowed like a sunlit sea, she only extended her battered hand to Azriel. “Well?” “You already have your prize,” Azriel said simply. “You just passed the Blood Rite Qualifier. Congratulations.”

- “There are plenty of other unspeakable things that could be happening to her,” Cassian said, voice thickening. “To Emerie and Gwyn.” The shadows deepened around Azriel, his Siphons gleaming like cobalt fire. “You—we—trained them well, Cassian. Trust in that. It’s all we can do.”

Elain and Azriel scenes in ACOSF:

- “Because of the shit with Elain?” Azriel stilled. “What happened to Elain?” Cassian waved a hand. “A fight with Nesta. Don’t bring it up,” he warned when Azriel’s eyes darkened. Cassian blew out a breath. “I take that as a no regarding the meeting topic, then.”

- “Maybe you’ll become interesting at last, Elain.” Nesta saw the blow land, like a physical impact, in Elain’s face, her posture. No one spoke, though shadows gathered in the corners of the room, like snakes preparing to strike.

- Azriel stiffened, an outright sign of temper from him as he said quietly, “There is an innate darkness to the Dread Trove that Elain should not be exposed to.” “But Nesta should?” Cassian growled.

- “She made ballrooms into battlefields and plotted like any general. Like you two,” she said, nodding to Cassian, and then, a bit more shyly, to Azriel. Azriel offered her a small smile that Elain quickly looked away from.

- Elain just linked her arm through Nesta’s and led her toward the family room, where Azriel stood in the doorway, monitoring them. As if he’d heard Elain’s sharp laugh and wondered what had caused it. “I was just checking on dessert,” Elain explained as they approached the doorway and Azriel. Nesta met the shadowsinger’s stare and he gave her a nod. Then his gaze shifted to Elain, and though it was utterly neutral, something charged went through it. Between them. Elain’s breath caught slightly, and she gave him a shallow nod of greeting before brushing past, leading Nesta into the room.

*no scenes of them after Winter Solstice*

> Elain and Azriel interacted in three scenes only throughout the entire book with barely a word to each other (excluding the POV chapter).

Which character had the most development between Elain and Gwyn? Obvious answer is Gwyn.

But Elain appeared in one POV and mentioned in the other POV? Yep but SJM clearly did not develop Elain much or set her up for her own book and Azriel's POV wasn't an Elriel or Gwynriel POV, it was his own POV which set up what will happen in his book and who the focus will be on. Half of the fandom still dislike Elain, SJM will lose half of her audience if she decided the next book is Elain's book when she did not set up something exciting for her nor develop her character in this book much, she made her much less likable because of her attitude towards Nesta. Elain cannot be a heroine of her own book yet when ACOSF barely fleshed her out, only dropped hints at what she could be doing which isn't character development. Also, If it weren't for the POV chapter there barely would've been any interactions between Elain and Azriel.

As for Gwyn, Sarah set up her backstory, there are some secrets and mysteries about her that are yet to be uncovered, she set her up as Azriel's potential romance, Gwyn and Azriel already have some chemistry and banter between them. They are not in love yet, but Sarah did set it up in this book to be explored in the next book. Her romantic couples always start with some banter. She did not receive the same amount of attention as Emerie, Sarah gave Gwyn a proper heroine build-up because she will be featured in the next book. Let's not forget my favorite part of this and that is his shadows reactions to her and ending Azriel's chapter of him thinking of Gwyn's smile.

Based on all of this is the reason why I am confident the next book will feature Azriel and Gwyn as his love interest.

This is the structure of SJM's books usually (MC + LI). You can't have an (MC + MC) and if you look at ACOTAR and ACOSF it's more focused on Feyre and Nesta's journey while there is a minor focus on Rhysand and Cassian. An Azriel and Elain book will be too much because there is a lot to unpack and one of them will have to be the LI which means less focus on them and more focus on the MC which is something I don't want for Azriel to be confined in a LI role because there is so many things about him that we need to figure out he is the most complex out of the three Illyrian boys.

These are my thoughts and revisiting the book and the passages confirmed it for me that if Sarah wanted to make the next book about Elain, she would've set up something exciting for her that will make the reader look forward to her journey (and no, not by using Azriel as her love interest) but because the reader wants to read about Elain's journey.

Gwyn is becoming a fan favorite so it's not hard to see why she would be the heroine of Az's book and it very likely that his book is next.

[cantkeepmyeyesoffofyou-x]

Hi! I'm interested in hearing your thoughts on how a Gwynriel book could lead up to an Elucien book. I struggle with this. I can see how SJM could pull this off, but I'm interested in your thoughts.

Up until recently, all I saw was Elriel, but I have no qualms admitting that I was wrong (I always liked Elucien anyway, just wondered wtf SJM was doing with their interactions). I do think in hiding Elain's pov we are missing a big piece. Same with Lucien's pov. I'm sensing something. Idk what, but I'm sensing something is going on between them that the audience doesn't know yet.

I think what I fear is ending up with Elain not looking like she actually chose Lucien. I highly doubt Elain would end up with anyone that isn't Lucien at this point. Elain and Lucien connect to so much plot as well, and the bond is such a big piece of them.

It makes sense for them to have the last book in the standalone trilogy. Idk, I'm rambling. I'd love to hear your thoughts.

This turned out really long, so I stuck under a read more to be considerate to those in the tags, I would also like people to keep in mind when reading this that I have no way inside Sarah J Maas’ head, these are just my observations and personal theories. 

RIGHT this also gets kinda... A mess, cus I can’t really organise my thoughts to save my life. 

Okay so, the big thing about Elain in ACOSF is that her choices and want to help were being ultimately ignored in favour of almost everyone- Amren was in favour of her assistance -around her pushing the narrative that she cannot touch darkness or be exposed to it when she quite rightfully so wanted to help. 

One of the people who pushed the narrative the most and is hideously overprotective over Elain is Azriel, he doesn’t treat her like an equal in this regard vs how he knows that Gwyn can handle herself and how she is, narratively quite literally his equal following the Blood Rite. 

Now, out of everyone who knows Elain the only person who has been letting her make her own choices in matters has been Lucien, he is the only person who seems to actually have an effect on her, the only person her extroverted personality all but dims around. 

People in general forget that Elain is the Extrovert within the Archeron sisters and that’s a fact that was very well established in both the first and second books. 

Lucien, at this point is doing exactly what Rhysand planned to do at the end of ACOTAR and at the start of ACOMAF, he is not invading on Elain’s life and respecting her space and comfort, alongside her decisions. 

What I have noticed within the books and the structure of how SJM sets things up, the Band of Exiles is built for Elain in structure of different ends of the spectrum of her Trauma, every single member of the BOE has suffered from some form of body trauma and Elain hasn’t seemingly actually dealt with her own and her sisters who could understand her do not really see it or use it to infantilise her or to server their own purposes.

It is Elain who starts off the BOE being built as well, she has the vision about Vassa, Lucien, her mate goes to find her, Vassa invites Jurian into her court and those three start out a cohort that deals almost exclusively with the Mortal Lands and has the most interaction with Elain’s former fiancé. 

Now, I fully believe that what will send Elain back to the BOE is another vision about Koschei. 

Elain started the plot thread of Vassa’s curse and Koschei in general into motion back in ACOWAR, so, she gets another vision. 

My guess at the plot of the Azriel/Gwynriel book is bringing the Illyrillians back into the fold, as there is still a massive divide between them and the rest of the Night Court and Azriel still has a lot of deep seated issues to do with them and his heritage, Gwyn plays into it because she now technically holds the same level of position as him within those grounds because of the Blood Rite meaning she has a direct connection to it and him.

Elain and Azriel do have some things to talk about, namely the necklace and that does need to be a bit more resolved though I do think that the chapter in question killed it dead in a back alley. 

I believe Elain will say she wants to help again after receiving a vision near the end of Azriel’s book and will be denied her choice in it again, so she will turn to the person she knows will need her help because it most likely directly involves her, Vassa. 

Elain and the Continent are constantly foreshadowed throughout the three books as a whole so I think I can say with some confidence that that’s where Elain is headed, so, she goes to the Band of Exiles, tells them what she’s seen and is welcomed into the fold with open arms because they want her help and because they do not have the same view of her that people in the Night Court do, allowing Elain more mobility and agency. 

I, also believe that Elain will end up rejecting the Mating Bond or will almost do so, but will fall in love with Lucien as they go to fully end Vassa’s curse and travel with the rest of the band of exiles through the continent. 

One of the biggest things is that in order for Elain to fully get to know Lucien and for Lucien to get to know Elain they need to be away from the Night Court and the inner circle. 

Elucien is the Reluctant Soulmates trope done so very well so far in this story, it is peak Regency Slow Burn too. 

I don’t know how much of this makes sense but Elain strikes me as being one more denial of her help away from just going “Right, I’ll do it myself then.” 

So, that’s how I can see things going from the use of the text, but once again please don’t use my analysis and theories as fact because they aren’t, I am not Sarah J Maas. 

Thank you for asking the question in the first place!!!

[cantkeepmyeyesoffofyou-x]

Elain is going to have a Bildungsroman in her book, and I’m sorry, but Azriel cannot support her on that journey, let alone go with her on it.

Elain’s strength is that she has always been able to find the beauty in the ugly and has always made herself comfortable in any situation she is in, all while remaining kind and loving. That can come off as shallow and simple, but it takes an impressive amount of emotional resiliency and self-actualization to be able to adapt like that, especially how quickly she did after her life was violently ripped away from her. In comparison, Feyre and Nesta completely collapsed under their trauma, and they both needed others to step in and force them to do something about it, as they were not capable of doing it under their own motivation. 

Elain doesn’t need a healing journey in the way Nesta and Feyre did. She is not dealing with the guilt and self loathing that her sisters did because she accepts that there are things outside of her control. Bad things happen to good people, and Elain is able to regulate her emotions and reflect, determining life is worth living despite trauma and her own short comings and failures. While Nesta and Feyre were bickering over what to do about Elain’s mental health, worried that she may be insane, Elain got out of bed and starting hanging out with Nuala and Cerridwen, doing things with them to add structure and routine to her days. No one told her to do that, no one gave her that as an option, she just started doing it on her own. It took Rhys bullying and taunting Feyre just to get her to agree to learn to read, and Nesta had to have a whole intervention. So, Elain doesn’t really need to heal from anything, nor does she need learn how to exist, she’s already done that. 

Elain’s journey is not going to be about how she copes with her trauma, or learning to love herself, or finding an outlet, her journey will be forming an identity. Elain’s issue is that she does exist as an individual outside of other’s perceptions and expectations of her. That kindness and empathy has been turned against her and is forcing her into a persona that confines her. Rather than resilient and adaptable, she is seen as simple and shallow. Nesta even refers to her as a dog, easily content and loyal to those who care for her. But it’s clear that there is more to Elain than that. She seems content, but there are many hints in Acosf that she is not truly happy with how everyone views her. She pushed back several times against Nesta, and tried to assert herself, but was shot down every time. 

Azriel has too much of his own baggage and unresolved trauma to accompany Elain on a journey of self discovery. Azriel has abuse, self-loathing, and worthlessness to overcome, and because Elain isn’t dealing with anything similar, it would turn into a narrative of a strong, vibrant woman trying to “fix” a man. Elain’s proclivity towards soothing and peace-making would steal her own journey away from her and make it about Azriel. Rather than her claiming her own identity and power, she would have to fill a nurturing role. His trauma would not allow her the space and opportunity to truly explore herself, to try new things, and to break away from the expectations placed on her. 

I’m not saying Azriel is some horrible person, but his POV showed that he does not see Elain as a complex individual. Just like everyone else, he sees her beauty and her kind personality, and not much beyond that. Her own sisters don’t see her as capable or strong, so why would Azriel? The fact that he didn’t stand up for her and support her in trying to scry shows that he wants her to remain pure, untouched, innocent, and, sadly, weak. 

With a Bildungsroman, the protagonist has to leave behind their past and venture off into the unknown in order to return a  changed individual. Azriel going on the journey with Elain would be bringing the past with her. She would not be leaving behind her family’s expectations and perception to grow as an individual. She would still be defined purely by her association with others. She would be “The High Lady’s sister”, “Nesta’s sister”, and “Azriel’s wife/lover”. Elain has to be able to leave everything behind and figurate who she is, what she wants, and how she wants others to see her, without the pressures of her family. Only then return from her journey and stand with her sisters as an equal, only then will she be defined as herself  and with her own title. 

[cantkeepmyeyesoffofyou-x]

Shitty Fic Idea of the Day (SFIOTD): ACOSF but from the house’s perspective

[cantkeepmyeyesoffofyou-x]

Nepenthe

Azriel x Gwyn one-shot

Warning: ⚠️ ACOSF spoilers, mentions of abuse ⚠️

Summary: Gwyn is shelving books in the library when Azriel, visiting on business, overhears her singing. (inspired by @inejjg ) Light angst, fluff.

Word Count: 3.2K

A/N: I really tried to emanate SJM's style for this piece, while also exploring my own!! I usually write original content, and I've done some blurbs of fanfiction before, but never an actual piece. Hope you like it. :)

The day was not turning out as Azriel had originally anticipated. That much, at least, he had gathered. Now today wasn't like other unanticipated, unwelcome distractions. Those were the kinds he dreaded— days where he would return to the townhouse soaked in blood he wasn't sure belonged to him.

Those days haunted him on ones like this.

Yes, today was a different kind of unexpected. Rhysand had decidedly summoned him for lunch in his office, to discuss politics and prisoners and what color he and Feyre would paint the baby's room. It went in and out of Azriel's mind. Most things did, these days. The time after the war, after spending months trying to get those goddamn Illyrians back in line, it was taking its toll on him. His shadows, which curled behind his ears like tufts of dark hair, now seemed to swallow Azriel’s face whole, clenching around his body with an armored ferocity Rhysand was accustomed to.

Maybe, Azriel told himself, that was why he called him here. To see what he was up to. How he was doing. It annoyed him, when Rhys fluttered around him like a concerned mother hen, desperate to understand his feelings and thoughts.

He doubted he deserved to be cared for like that.

And maybe, he thought with a wry snort, it was why he had sent him on such a meaningless errand. A distraction, one he merely welcomed with indifference.

"There's a book," Rhys had drawled, leaning back in the chair pushed out from his onyx desk. Behind him, the portrait of his Mate seemed to glimmer with curiosity. "In the library beneath the House of Wind. A history book, about the royal bloodline. Feyre is making a family tree, and wishes to learn more about my ancestors. If you don't mind, I'd like you to retrieve it for me."

As though Azriel had nothing better to do. Truthfully, he didn't. But still he had replied slowly, his voice tight, "Can't you get it yourself? Or send Cass?" Rhysand only barked a laugh. When it came to his brother, Azriel knew he would do anything he asked. For his brother, he would have jumped into the Sidra if he had asked. It was beyond the duty to the High Lord with which Azriel regarded Rhysand; but that didn't mean he wouldn't give him grief for such a stupid task.

"No, shadowsinger," he had purred in reply, mouth stretching into a taunting grin. "I cannot. I'm far too busy looking at paint samples with my Mate. And besides, the priestesses like you best, don't they?" Rhys barked a laugh. Azriel opened his mouth to retort, to defend the way his shadows flinched, but he set his jaw tightly. The shadowsinger gave a subtle nod, then rose from his seat. A soft brushing of knuckles against his stony mental shields had him pausing in the doorway.

You can hide it, Rhys had said. You can hide many things from us. But you can't hide from me. You need this today.

Hide it, indeed.

Azriel huffed as he flew, wings beating against the cool summer breeze that rippled across his dark head. He needed to stretch his wings, to clear his head and focus on the warmth beating down on his back. The sun, hanging lazily in the afternoon sky, illuminated the blues and reds of his wings and cast his shadow over Velaris as he made his way to the library. He told himself he had only wanted to get it over with, and that was why he was moving so quickly, darting across the sky. That he wanted to go back to the townhouse and sulk. But Mother damn him, he couldn't stop that swell in his chest as he came nearer and nearer. That swell was akin to dying a joyous and euphoric death— there was no other way Azriel could accurately describe it. His heart pounded in anticipation at what he knew lay beyond those ancient doors.

Her.

Azriel had become accustomed to Gwyneth Berdara’s strange beauty and equally strange humour during their training; had grown to like her friendly nature and competitive, passionate spirit. If anything, he admired her. He might have even feared her. That cheerful female with copper hair that shined in the light of the sun and moon, both of which seemed to love her. They had spent months, moving side-by-side, grinning at each other across the ring while trying to slash the other with a sword.

Their encounters outside of training were brief, and conversations short. He supposed he wasn't one for talking, and allowed her to lead them in a dialogue. But as time went on, Azriel found the little smiles on her rosy lips now reflected on his, and the bright laughter that filled his ears now echoed softly in his own throat. With her, he felt his emotions bob to the surface, and for once, he didn't stop them.

From the moment he'd met Gwyn, she'd held Azriel's attention with a preternatural ability, and had caught him off guard more times than he'd like to admit. The shadowsinger, spymaster, king of shadows— taken by surprise by a young priestess.

His lips turned upward at the thought of her.

᯽

Azriel landed on the balcony of the House of Wind, his wings snapping behind him as he eased into a walk. His descent down the swirling staircase to the library was a silent one. Azriel had been to this athenaeum hundreds of times, far more than he could count, but it had never gotten easier.

The pain and sorrow he felt in the priestesses' sanctuary was suffocating, at times. Not because he had felt the same anguish himself, but because he had rescued many of them from it. Because the shadowsinger had seen the horrors they'd escaped from, and faltered, unknowing of what to say or do to offer comfort.

He remembered rescuing Gwyn. Azriel was the first of the Inner Circle to arrive. He remembered dragging his blade across the throat of the Hybern general who thought he had a claim to Gwyn, who thought he was worthy of even gracing her presence. His scarred hands shook even now with fury, fury and rage towards the soldiers who had defiled her home and her body.

Azriel knew though, it was nothing compared to the pain she must have felt. He couldn't bring himself to think of it. Every inch of him now trembled with that dark rage, the joy now vanished without a trace, and he clenched his fists— the fists of a killer, he thought bitterly. Distraction was a fruitless effort. They had hurt her, and he had made them pay with their lives.

He only wished that killing them might have eased her mind, as he hoped to. It didn't. Even now, he found himself staring at the wall late at night, wondering if those mental scars were healing.

Or if they were just as ugly and unavoidable as the ones he bore on his skin.

Melancholy filled him as he walked further into the forlorn depths of the ancient library. He seemed to disappear into it, willing the shadows nearby to whisk him away into oblivion.

᯽

The hymn sung during today’s dawn service had yet to leave Gwyn's mind. It was a soft, gentle song, full of joy and sorrow and hope— the beacon she needed today. When she had woken this morning, the heaviness of her heart had weighed on her with a particular viciousness. It had been difficult to rise, to dress in her familiar blue robes and run a brush through her tangles of copper hair.

But she had done it. A small victory. And she had dragged herself to morning service, as she did every day. It had taken her many months to work up the courage to attend after arriving initially. She couldn't bring herself to fill her heart with music, with love. Not when it was so ravaged by hate. Gwyn didn't know if she deserved to feel joy like that. But when she was through with feeling sorry for herself, through with feeling such overwhelming shame, she dragged herself to that first service and never looked back.

Now, she led the songs with a fervor she hadn't felt in the 2 years since Sangravah. Now, she was bursting with life. With passion. Although the shame had never quite left her, she was happier. Lighter. Gwyn was healing, and happy to do so.

Gwyn had suggested the priestesses sing an older selection of music today, one that cried love in the rawest of forms. It was in a language long forgotten, and the words that had been lost were replaced by lyrics in the common tongue. The song carried on long after the service had ended, caressing the dark confines of her mind and coaxing her out of her stupor.

Perhaps, she thought to herself with a small smile, it was magic. To her, music was magic.

And so Gwyn carried on with her day, pushing the cart that only seemed to get heavier and heavier as the hours flew by. She nodded to priestesses that passed by, and offered small smiles to those she recognized the scents of. The library was a quiet existence, save for the occasional conversation; so she filled the silence, humming and singing and tapping her fingers as she worked.

᯽

It was that soft singing that caught Azriel's attention as he stood before Clotho, his hands resting on the desk politely. Perhaps a reminder to those watching that he too, was damaged. A silent request to be accepted into their sacred space. He had asked politely about the book Rhysand had requested, and a silent prodding about the possibility of him seeking it out. With a shallow nod, Clotho permitted it, and waved a gnarled hand of dismission. She too, seemed to perk up at that singing, but merely shrugged when Az raised a brow. He studied her for a moment, before nodding and turning away. Clotho returned to her work without another word, but a secret smile ghosted her lips.

A few priestesses had indeed watched from afar, but quickly returned to their work as he approached the endless rows of books. Level Four, Section 3A, he repeated over and over. Level Four, Section 3A. Curiously, Azriel glanced over at the group of priestesses who now spoke quietly, and offered a rare, gentle smile to the group before descending down the spiral ramp to the next level.

Still that singing seemed to follow him, echoing off the stone walls.

It was, in simplest terms, the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. His shadows harmonized with the gorgeous melody, a reverence of the Mother like no other. The song called to Azriel with an intensity that made his blood tremble, and pulled him until his feet seemed to move on their own, down and down and down into those depths of darkness and light and beauty. He picked up speed, his heartbeat erratic as his mind echoed with that damn music.

When he reached the fourth level, he turned in the direction Section 3A, looking up at a nearby sign. But when he took the first step, his shadows nipped at him, grabbing him by the sleeve and tugging him in the opposite direction. Come, they whispered. Find her.

Azriel hesitated for a breath, glancing back at the sign, then obliged. He was walking blind, betraying every battle instinct that had drilled into him. Ignoring them, he let his shadows guide him with a racing heart, until he found the source.

Mere feet away, there she stood, her straight copper hair tied back by a simple blue ribbon, the same sapphire shade as his siphons. A few stray wisps of red were tucked behind her delicately pointed ears. His shadows wanted to curl around those pretty ears, to run their dark fingers through the silky strands of her perfect hair, but he quickly tugged on their leash before they could slip away from him. Gwyn's lips moved gently, her voice vibrating with a clarity he wasn't quite sure was possible for Fae— but she wasn't entirely Fae, was she?

This damned female would surely be the end of him.

He felt his knees wobble, as her voice waltzed towards him on a star-studded breeze. Azriel had heard beautiful singing before— had been to the theatre several times with Rhysand and the Inner Circle, had tapped his foot to the sound of street performers on the cobblestone pathways of Velaris. But this was nothing like them. She was casual, examining the spines of books and then tucking them into spots on the shelves, rearranging them until she was satisfied. Her musical prowess was a stark contrast to the sight of her; Mother, just seeing her standing there was a perfect melody that made his blood sang. The words that left her lips though, were something wholly magical.

Gwyn was confident in her singing, confident enough to do so in a near silent library where all listened and admired her talent. When Gwyneth Berdara sang, the troubles of the priestesses weren't simply forgotten. Instead, they became tangible, and beautiful, and raw. They became a song, a flawless execution of emotion, a dance of mourning and a waltz of life , all at once. It was a release; a rebirth. It was an almost laughably common occurrence for females to cry tears of relief during her performances, but one that gave Gwyn a swelling sense of pride.

In her songs, there was an honesty that only Mor had ever shown; it was all swirling together like she herself was Cauldron-blessed and the Mother was pouring Gwyn's soul into the world. Time had frozen for— well, Azriel wasn't sure for how long. The faelights flickered around them, two beings lost in the eternity of the library, one seemingly unaware of the other.

If Azriel hadn't known better, he might have admitted how much his heart had calmed. How his chest had warmed, and the heavy weight he had been feeling on his shoulders had slowly but surely vanished. But he dare not say a word, and instead, savored the moment in contented silence.

His shadows, on the other hand, were perfectly content to dance and harmonize alongside her. They hugged the shadow cast at her feet, their misty forms swaying between them. Azriel clenched his fist, and swallowed. Stop it, he tried to command them. And of course, they ignored him wholly. Gwyn's song came to a close, and she hummed the tune to herself as she pushed the cart a bit further down the aisle. The shadows followed, and Azriel took a silent step forward, beckoning them. You're supposed to listen me, you know. They laughed at him in reply.

"Didn't anyone ever tell you it's rude to eavesdrop, shadowsinger?"

Azriel's heart stopped.

᯽

Gwyn had known Azriel was near the moment he had stepped foot into the library. She wasn't sure how or why, but something in her seemed to suddenly resonate— a feeling ringing inside her that she couldn't quite explain, and only seemed to grow louder and more intense.

Until it was behind her, and she swore she felt the most tender of brushes against her ear, tucking her hair back. A bit of darkness flickered in and out of the corner of her eye, and a smile formed on her lips. Gwyn welcomed his shadows, let them settle at her feet and dance to her song. She had always liked them, anyway. She had been humming throughout the day, but when she had felt that warmth in her blood, it was as though the voice of the Mother had whispered into the curve of her ear: Sing.

So she did.

Gwyn had heard Azriel's soft footsteps as they approached the rows of shelves on Level Four. It wasn't particularly hard to identify them; no other males outside of the Inner Circle were permitted to visit, and no other was as subtle about his movements as the shadowsinger was. Months of training and sparring had accustomed her to his preternatural stillness. Yes, Gwyn assured herself, she had become very familiar with him. Had deduced that it must be him. Nothing more than that.

She dare not admit that she would have felt him and his shadows even if she were blind and deaf.

So finally, Gwyn spoke. Her lips curled into a teasing smile, and she turned to face Azriel fully. And of course, there he was, standing at the end of the aisle as she had expected. What she hadn't expected however, was that his eyes would be as wide and mouth hanging open as it was. Gwyn blinked, the only indicator of surprise, before she soothed her expression into one of cool teasing. The High Lord's spymaster straightened up as well, setting his jaw tightly. He cast his gaze to the floor.

"Gwyn," was all he said in greeting.

"Azriel." Her teal eyes sparkled, and her freckles seemed to glow like stars in the faelight. "What brings you here? Surely not my singing." A soft laugh.

What he wanted to say was, Yes. It was you. You and that damn gorgeous voice. I couldn't hear anything but you. Couldn't think about anything else. Hell, I forget walking down here.

But instead, he simply answered, "Book."

A pause. Azriel's cheeks flared, and his shadows made to quickly hide his embarrassment. He coughed. "A book. For Rhysand. A— a history book. Clotho directed me to this level."

"Ah," replied Gwyn. There was no hint of judgement in her tone. At least she didn't think he was a moron. His shadows flicked towards her curiously. "I see. And what sort of history book could interest our mighty High Lord?"

Gwyn's grin was unrelenting, but Azriel was far too stiff to even look up at her. He had been caught. The shadowsinger, the fucking spymaster for the Night Court, had been caught red-handed by a young female. Cassian would have guffawed at the sight of him blushing like an idiot.

Gwyn picked up a particularly heavy book, standing on her toes to reach a higher shelf. She strained, but was determined to reach what was too high above her head. Without thinking, Azriel moved. His strides were smooth, powerful even, and he stood beside her. A comfortable distance away, he took hold of the book, and gently pried it from her hand. A silent request. She obliged, releasing her hold as his scarred fingers grazed hers. A tingling sensation crept up her body from that contact, while Az pushed the book into its slot effortlessly. Gwyn still remained on her toes, looking up at him as he seemingly towered over her. Yet, she was not afraid of him. It was impossible to be, not when he was so gentle, and so strong, and had saved her life—

"Family history," he clarified. His voice was a low caress. "For Feyre." Azriel's hand lingered on the shelf high above her for a moment, a finger trailing slowly down the cracked spine of the book. Gwyn's eyes darted from his face to the book, then back to his face. A moment seemed to stretch into a thousand tiny moments that burned into his mind like etchings on a cave: face, so smooth and gentle, yet lively; plush, pink lips that curved upwards, that seemed to have a magnetic pull to his. If he leaned down far enough, his mouth might have met hers. Gods, she was divine. As expected of a priestess, he supposed.

He took in the rest of her face: a strong, stubborn chin, with equally opposing gentle eyes, that flared with surprise once more. He sensed a gradual change in her scent, one he didn't recognize. Gwyn's freckled face flushed pink, and Az worried that he might have overstepped her boundaries.

So he retracted his arm, and took a step back. The heels of Gwyn’s silk-slippered feet lowered to the floor. The male ran a scarred hand through his dark hair, and Gwyn tracked the movement, her eyes catching on every strand and wave of his silken locks. Her face seemed a bit rosier than it had before. He swore silently, worried he had upset her.

"Thank you," Gwyn said rather suddenly, as though snapping out of a daze. The faint blush did not leave her cheeks, though. Her hand drifted to her necklace, fiddling with it and zipping the small flower pendant along the chain. He only stole a glance at her, not wanting to stare too long and make her uncomfortable. But seeing her in that necklace, touching it so affectionately... Az felt his mind ease into a calm. With Gwyn, he felt absolved. Even for just a moment.

"Would you mind helping me? Find the book, I mean." Azriel asked, jerking his chin towards the section. Thinking for a moment, he quickly added, "That is, if you're not too busy."

Gwyn halted, and chewed on her lip. She glanced up at the other floors, as though looking at something in quiet consideration. then returned her gaze to him. There was no way she could say no— not when he made the sorrow in her mind settle. Not when he made her feel so... happy.

"I would love to."

Something about that smile… It was so disarming. He had no defenses, no stealth, no plans for her. Even his shadows, usually astute guard dogs, had rolled over to bear their bellies to her.

They liked her.

He liked her.

A secret, happy possibility was tucked away in the back of his mind.

Gwyn’s heart skipped a beat, as though she was wondering the same thing.

What they could be.

“Lead the way, Berdara.” He made a lazy motion with his hand, and the corners of his lips tugged upwards. He sketched a bow, like a true courtly gentleman.

She returned the smile, her teal eyes sparkling with a new feeling, and took his arm. "Gladly."

The touch sent his heart soaring.

nepenthe (noun)— something that makes you forget grief or suffering.

[cantkeepmyeyesoffofyou-x]

HOLY MOLY I DID NOT NOTICE THAT!!!

I’M DEAD 😫😭

[cantkeepmyeyesoffofyou-x]

Lucien Vanserra has been through so much and has yet remained a kind and loyal soul. 🕊🧡

It hurts my heart thinking of how much he has been through. He had such a painful childhood and was treated horribly by his brothers and Beron. Jesminda, his lover, was brutally killed by his own family and he was forced to watch it happen. They hunted him next, hoping to kill him, forcing him to run away from the Autumn Court. He was given shelter by Tamlin in the Spring Court, where he somehow tried to fit in and find a purpose but his skills were never appreciated. He was sent to Amarantha, who ripped his eye out and scarred him for life. Tamlin asked him to take his place in the Rite, where Ianthe raped him. He was tortured and lashed at while he was captured Under the Mountain. He constantly vouched for Feyre even if it meant going against Tamlin, the only person who gave him a place to live when he was being hunted by his own family. Feyre used him to fuel her agenda of ruining Tamlin. Ianthe attempted to assault and rape him again. He was disrespected in the Night Court, yet he used his skills and helped them by becoming their emissary. His aunts were killed, butchered and tormented. His mother was sold off by her family and forced to marry Beron who tortured, belittled and bruised her. Helion turned out to be his father instead of Beron, a fact he is still unaware of. He watched Elain, his mate, love and mourn over somebody else. He was always respectful towards her and never expected anything from her, yet she constantly ignored him. He set off alone to the human lands and found Vassa and Feyre's father, bringing them back as support in the war against Hybern. He went back to help Tamlin out of sheer loyalty but was assaulted by him. He found friends in Vassa and Jurian, and tried to create a home with them but was taunted about it by Feyre.

He felt a connection with Vassa: the lost queen, the cursed firebird and I hope their love story is exactly what he deserves. Rooting for them and wishing he gets all the happiness in the world, because he deserves every bit of it. ✨

He has went through so much pain, misery and trauma and yet, he has such a golden heart with so much goodness and loyalty. I cannot wait to read his story, I just know it's gonna be a beautiful journey. Intelligent, smart, skilled, handsome and powerful: our fox-boy, son of the Autumn and Day Court, Lucien Vanserra. 🦊🔥

[cantkeepmyeyesoffofyou-x]

ACOSF THEORY TIME :

Merrill is being possessed / manipulated by Koschei

or is maybe in alliance with him...

In my reread, these two passages stood out so much :

in chapter seven, where Vassa is talking about how Koschei manipulated the queens into betraying and selling her to him. Through ‘whispers on the winds’ :

This is notable because in chapter twenty-nine, Merrill mentions that the ‘wind whispers’ to her, and that she knows exactly who Nesta is and what she has done :

We also learn that she is descended from Rabath, Lord of the Western Winds and also that she holds some magical sway over wind, interesting considering that this is the method which Koschei uses to manipulate the queens :

Some other interesting factors :

We can establish that Merrill will be of at least some importance in the next few books solely because of how much time sjm spends discussing her beauty. It’s a well established and well founded fan theory that whenever sjm describes a character as beautiful, they will be a significant - and Merrill’s beauty is said to rival even Mors !!!

^ When she confronts Nesta regarding the swap of books, she calls her ‘girl’. The only other character to call Nesta ‘girl’ is Amren - who is an ancient entity from a different world. Amren is estimated to be 15,000 years old. This similarity suggests to me that there is either more to Merrill than meets the eye, and that she is older than we are led to believe, or that it is Koschei talking through Merrill. As an ancient and powerful death god, this belittling attitude would be more believable coming from him, than coming from ( what we believe is ) a high fae.

^ When Merril catches Nestas eye in the evening service, they settle with ‘hatred’. This seems ridiculous and extremely petty for someone who replaced a book of yours and then set you down a peg when you confronted her about it... there’s definitely something else there.

If she is working in alliance with Koschei - or if perhaps he is possessing her - it would make sense that she is placed in the night court, where she can act as a spy and use the vast library for information. She works closely with Gwyn, who is Nestas close friend and undoubtedly gathers information about Nesta through her. And we know that Gwyn went to Merrill for information regarding the death trove...

I just know that there is more to Merrill than meets the eye, and I’m kind of hoping that she is just being manipulated by Koschei because I would so love for her to be the main scribe and historian for this new legion of Valkyrie warriors.

[cantkeepmyeyesoffofyou-x]

THIS IS SO TRUE, ERIS IS A BAD BITCH

[cantkeepmyeyesoffofyou-x]

*Acosf theory*

MUST READ PLEASE YOU HAVE TO READ THIS

i’m watching steph and ava’s acosf live and oml

They are talking about Tamlin being Gwyn’s dad and steph doesnt believe that Gwyn is Tamlins daughter because if she was she probably would have been mentioned in the previous books. I totally get that. I agree to that.

But what I JUST HAD A THOUGHT THAT BLEW MY MIND

What if… Gwyn’s dad was Andras

Fire Night also called Calanmai is a ceremony held in Prythian which signals the start of spring. On Fire Night, various celebrations occur, including lighting bonfires, playing of drums, and the Great Rite. The crops depend upon the magic in The Great Rite on Fire Night. Each High Lord must perform The Great Rite, where they allow powerful magic to enter their bodies and seize control of them. It will cause the High Lord to attempt to find the Maiden and release magic that will spread through the lands via sex with the maiden and allow crops to grow. Many males and females gather to have sex that night as other dalliances will help the land to.

“Many males and females gather to have sex that night as other dalliances WILL HELP THE LAND TO”

Magic chose Gwyn’s mother and her father.

AND FUCK

Gwyn’s mother took part of the Great Rite when she was of age, and she had Gwtn and Catrin. Which was a result in a sacred union with a male stranger. Her mother never found out who he was, for the magic chose him that night, and no one ever showed up to ask about twin girls.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I’M SAYINGGGGGG