cdd-safe-haven

[cdd-safe-haven]

You don't need to be over it. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It means living a life where your past doesn’t control your present. You are allowed to grow without erasing who you’ve been.

[cdd-safe-haven]

“No one is coming to save you.” I disagree ! I believe many people made up of many small moments come to save pieces of you , even if just briefly. The mentor who believed in you . The friend who said they’re proud of you. The family member that makes you laugh . The random person who held the door for you out of nothing but kindness. The teacher who took extra time to help you understand. The person who smiled at you when you walked into a store. The little kid who looks up to you. The person who randomly complimented you. Being “saved” isn’t about being whisked away and all your hardships gone, it’s about the people and things that remind you life is not all hardships, it is kindness, love, gentleness, softness, care, thoughtfulness. It is many moments made up of your lifetime that keeps you going and showing you the world is still beautiful, and will always be. Despite.

[cdd-safe-haven]

[cdd-safe-haven]

practice saying ‘no’ to things that drain your energy

[cdd-safe-haven]

[cdd-safe-haven]

Living with trauma or BPD can feel overwhelming, but you’re not alone.

I’ve created a resource site full of practical tools, gentle guidance, and validation for trauma survivors and people with BPD. You’ll find:

Coping strategies for flashbacks, panic attacks, and nightmares

DBT skill breakdowns with examples you can use in daily life

Tips for navigating relationships and communicating your needs

Grounding and self-care activities to help in tough moments

It’s a space made by someone who’s been there, for anyone who needs support.

Explore the Trauma & BPD Resources here.

Disclaimer: I am just a peer offering support and advice based on my own experiences. Please take what helps and leave what doesn't.

[cdd-safe-haven]

[drawing of a white ghost in a green hat saying “Taking care of yourself is not a waste of time. You’re important and your needs matter.” in a green speech bubble.]

[cdd-safe-haven]

stay hydrate.

[cdd-safe-haven]

A psychiatrist told med that I’ll most likely have to take meds for the rest of my life. At first that bothered me, but not anymore.

Medication can be a huge help and it’s certainly been crucial for me. So what I want to say to you is: it’s okay. If you need meds, take them, There’s no shame in needing medication, even if you’ll always need it. It’s okay.

[cdd-safe-haven]

[cdd-safe-haven]

[cdd-safe-haven]

Hey I have a system related question! I thought we had traumagenic origins for our system but we mainly experienced little T traumas in childhood and it's making me wonder if DID can form because of that or if you need to have prolonged big T traumas to develop the disorder.

Our symptoms aren't so bad so I don't think we'd qualify for a diagnosis either way, but it does make me curious about other people with DID and if it's possible to have a CDD from little T traumas.

Hi anon

This is a great question, and the answer might surprise you

Emotional neglect is the biggest predictor of a CDD, and that neglect can come from many places-- schools, family, peers

Disorganized attachments in childhood play a central role in the development of CDDs, and even well-meaning, well-intentioned parents can form a DA style with their child

And that's not even getting into what having an unaddressed childhood disorder can do

Trauma isn't an event, it's a reaction to an event, and is very personal and unique to you, what might traumatize you won't bother someone else, and vice versa. Don't think of it as little and big trauma, because that's not how it works.

Neglect is shown to be equally as damaging to a child as physical and sexual abuse.

I'm pretty sure all of this is cited in this post.

If you browse my blog you'll find that I talk about this next point a LOT. I say this, firmly, not just for you, but for EVERYONE reading.

Don't put a "minimum" on how much someone needs to be struggling to qualify for a diagnosis or help.

Are you struggling?

Yes?

Good enough. Nothing more to be said.

You don't need to be "this" disordered to ride the ride, what do you think disordered looks like, then?

Not only is the mindset often rooted in ableism, but it's a misunderstanding of the course of the disorder, disorder vs disability, something the DSM encourages us to separate the concepts of, and of the dysfunction criteria.

I talk more here.

I'm not in the best shape, I really hope this helps, good luck friendo

[cdd-safe-haven]

[cdd-safe-haven]

affirmation: nobody is going to shoot me for being awkward

[cdd-safe-haven]

[cdd-safe-haven]

[cdd-safe-haven]