celestial-cluster

[celestial-cluster]

[Modern Day AU]

Sanji, texting: Just got to Costco. Where are you?

Zoro: Liquor aisle, bring another cart.

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Zoro: Ugh, there’s always that weak bitch in the group who isn’t down with murder.

Zoro: *glares at Nami*

Nami : Well, sorry I have morals!

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Sanji, holding a kettle: Coffee or tea?

Zoro: Coffee.

Sanji: Wrong. It's tea.

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Usopp: Now pick a card.

Nami: Okay!

Usopp: That's my credit card. Put it back

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Zoro *singing*: Someone made my best friend cry, do dai do dai~ That someone is gonna die, do de do dadei~ *summons swords* Don't matter to me, if they're family~ you made them cry, you choose to die, do de do da dei!~

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Zoro: I know two people who can cheer you up.

Chopper: Ben and Jerry?

Zoro: Ben and Jerry.

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Zoro *about Nami*: I got grounded for a whole week just because I came home late.

Sanji: Well, you deserved it. I mean, getting everyone's hopes up like that and then showing up again.

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Nami: I'm not funny, I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking.

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Nami: I'm at a loss for words!

Usopp: Despite being ‘at a loss for words’, Nami yelled at us for the next 45 minutes.

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Usopp about Sanji: Alright. Uh, I talked to him; I got the scoop.

Nami : What'd he say?

Usopp about Zoro: "Hates him with the fire of a thousand suns." That's a direct quote.

Zoro : Thanks, Usopp. That's very comforting of you.

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Zoro to Sanji: Ooh, see that, there. Who needs affection when I have blind hatred?

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Usopp: Well, you don't know. She could, uh, she could need a day to cool off.

[they all duck as a cannon ball flies past them]

Sanji : Maybe two.

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Sanji: I’d follow him to hell and back, but I wish he’d just stop going there

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Sanji: Did you buy eggs like I asked?

Luffy: Even better!

Sanji: What the fuck did you-

Luffy: *holding up a chicken* Her name is emergency meat.

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Usopp: I love cooking breakfast. It makes the whole ship smell like bacon.

Zoro: That’s true, but it also smells like fire and panic.

Usopp: You and the smoke detector need to get off my case.

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Sanji: Remember, Mosshead, don't do anything I wouldn't do.

Zoro: I think I crossed that line when I got a date.

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Nami: If we lose this battle, you’re out of the will!

Zoro: ....*confused*

Zoro: ....I was in the will?