chamomiless

[chamomiless]

Remus:I had a dream where I murdered Roman

Emile: awwwwwwww you're scared that you'll end up being the monster they think you are don't worry babe you'll always be my hero-

Remus: ...it was because he stole my favourite skirt but go on

[chamomiless]

It’s hasn’t been two hours since the newest Sanders Sides and I've seen:

-fanart

-theories 

-fanfics

based off of it. All I'm say is the devil works hard but the Sander Sides fandom works harder. 

[chamomiless]

Roman:YES PLDESSE F THAT DOUNDS FANSTATIC!!!!!!

Logan: Huh?

Logan:Have you ever typed before?

[chamomiless]

Logan, thoroughly drunk: are you crofters? because you're my jam of choice

Patton, tearing up: I know you're not going to remember this but at our wedding I'm making sure everyone knows you asked me out with a dad joke

[chamomiless]

Modern Fairy Tales

Little Red Riding hood came stumbling through the woods, blissful until a wolf stepped out onto the path in front of her.

“Hello, little girl,” said he. “Where are you headed in such a hurry?”

“SIX FUCKING FEET APART BRO,” came her reply

[chamomiless]

Thor: Who is this Sir Jesus?

Loki: He's the man who kills people with a bow on Valentines Day, dumbass.

[chamomiless]

Sherlock’s Daughter Headcannon

I’ve only watched season 2, but I just had to get this out of my head so here you go

Someone makes fun of Sherlock for not being able to connect with people and bets him that he can’t get laid

He does it out of pure pettiness

15 years later the mom dies because of her relations to Sherlock and he’s left to raise the kid (before he meets John)

She’s 14 and relatively stable at the time (besides the fact she saw her mom get murdered and barely escaped death herself)

But not for long wooha hahahahaha

the emotional neglect is strong with this one

Sherlocks lack of understanding emotions/ acknowledging his empathy makes him a pretty shitty dad

She’s a genius but not as smart as Sherlock

Better with emotions than facts

Calls Sherlock ‘Holmes’ mostly just to annoy him

Gradually starts to lose touch with her emotions after living with Sherlock

Sherlock doesn’t know what to do with her so he just. Just brings her along. To crime scenes. A fourteen year old.

The police keep getting mad at him for taking a literal child to a murder scene but it’s Sherlock what did you expect

He basically is daring them to get child services involved, he thinks it’d be interesting “i dare you to take this child away from me, I want to see you try!”

Mycroft is so confused

“I have a niece??? Why didn't you tell me Sherlock!!!!”  “.... you never asked?” angry noises

Sherlock will randomly drop her off with uncle Mycroft and he’s just ???????? “here’s some money. Sherlock, how many times a day do i have to water this?”

At first she’s just generally unimpressed with him

“Mom come back why would you leave me with this garbage heap”

But over the years she just kind of adopts his mannerisms

She just gets used to waking up to gunshots and random thumps, and soon just sleeps through them  

ENTER JOHN FREAKING WATSON

He may not be good with emotion but compared to Sherlock he’s a fucking psychologist

They met because Sherlock needed a bigger flat for the child (yes he refers to her as ‘the child’)

John is just like Sherlock???? What are you doing??? To this poor child??? Come on child,,, let us get you some ice cream,,,, and some therapy,,,,,,

Scared of how chill she is to Sherlock’s insanity.

Tries to convince him to not bring her to traumatic crimes scenes, but isn’t normally successful

Definitely more of a father figure to her than anything else

He’s not the best at it but come on he tries

She calls him John

Or Johnny Boy if she wants to mess with him

“Stop flirting with your boyfriend Johnny boy!!” “where not dating.. You know that… right?” “sureeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee”

Not so secretly ships them  

Oh my god if she was in danger

Ohhhh sherlock would go mental

Would not be able to think whatsoever

Would charge into a trap to save her don’t think he wouldn’t

If she were kidnapped she would probably be more worried about her missing posters than her life

“Im not worth a missing poster?? WOOOOOWWW. RUDE! Wait if i had one… would they put my weight on it?.... nvmm!”

“It’s fine Sherlock’s probably already here”

And he is

Tries to brush it off as “just doing a job” because no matter what happens he is never ever admitting that he cares about her nope not on his grave

He would be so pissed at whoever kidnapped her

“Oh come on, my daughter? That’s it you’re dying for that one idiot”

“Hello, is this the hospital? Yes you’re going to want to get over here there’s a man on the brink of death. What happened? He ran into my knife. He ran into my knife  t e n  t i m e s”

John in the background: “he had it comin’”

Bonus:

Plays piano to accompany Sherlock's violin

She casually walks onto crime scenes, “you're not allowed here!” “.. thats too bad”

Moraty “Sherlock you’re such a virgin!” “I wish he was!”

Pulls out a gun John “where’d you get that?” “it's not likes they’re hidden or anything” Sherlock “fair enough”

The Police: “is this allowed?

Feel free to add more!!!:p

I used feminine pronouns for this one but I’ll use they/them from now on! Sorry!!