cheshirecatlair

[cheshirecatlair]

Was it all a dream?

[cheshirecatlair]

Gaze Into It!

[cheshirecatlair]

SlimeCrimes™

potentially mature

potentially mature

POTENTIALLY MATURE

POTENTIALLY MATURE!!!!

[cheshirecatlair]

YOU'RE A BAD CAR!

warm welcome back

[cheshirecatlair]

[cheshirecatlair]

[cheshirecatlair]

Does anyone else ever experience the feral urge to tie Roger Waters down, clamp his eyelids open Clockwork Orange-style, and force him to watch the Nostalgia Critic's review of The Wall?

[cheshirecatlair]

*in an Arrested Development-style Ron Howard narration voice*

But Richard Nixon, in fact, was not a good man. Richard Nixon was a former United States president guilty of many terrible misdeeds, including obstruction of justice and horrific war crimes against the people of Cambodia and Vietnam.

whats with the emo pfp

It's because I'm a

DARK CATHOLIC

now!

[cheshirecatlair]

NYEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!

woh dis monstar enurjee mak mee fel funneh

[cheshirecatlair]

NYEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!

VeggieTales-Offical

[cheshirecatlair]

You’re mayo

Everyday after toiling for 14 hours straight no break at the occlupanid factory, I would order the same meal from Burger King: an Impossible Whopper with heavy mustard, heavy pickles, and no mayo. For 4 years straight, I did this with seemingly not a single disruption to my routine. But I think those 84 hour work weeks, devoting the majority of my waking hours to the thankless but necessary mass-production of occlupanids, unwittingly took its toll on my mind.

Then that fateful day came: November 11, 2024 to be exact. I went through the drive-thru at the Burger King after a long, taxing shift at the occlupanid factory, requesting the same order as always. After paying at the window and retrieving my meal, I took a bite out of the burger as I began my drive home, and I almost hit a pedestrian when I realized that something was horribly wrong. The burger had no mustard, an insufficient quantity of pickles, and worst of all...mayonnaise.

I parked my car and stormed into the Burger King. I screamed, "Who the hell is responsible for this abomination???"

The teenager at the counter calmly asked, "Ma'am, what's wrong?"

"I'll tell you what's wrong," I snarled. "I clearly asked for no mayo. NO. MAYO!" I threw the burger directly into the employee's face.

Dear reader, I imagine at this time, you have quite a low opinion of yours truly. But you must understand - my routine kept me barely clinging onto whatever semblance of my sanity remained. I needed that burger, just like I needed to guzzle that bottle of Wild Turkey 101 every night until I passed out in my bed only to repeat the same damn routine all over again the next morning.

A manager emerged from the back. "Excuse me, ma'am. What's the problem?"

"What's the problem? Some Neanderthal you've got working here put mayonnaise on my burger. I SAID NO MAYO!!!!"

The manager's face went totally blank. I will never forget that horrible dead look in her eyes. "I'm sorry. There's nothing to be done."

I tried to screech out some vile retort. But no words emerged from my mouth - instead, I feel an unctuous substance spurt out of me. I look down at my hands and see a white gooey substance. A sensation I never felt before comes over me - I feel my body collapsing. I look down at my legs: They're mayonnaise.

The rest of my body continued to morph into mayonnaise. The manager solemnly shook her head. "You. Are. What. You. Eat!"

[cheshirecatlair]

Having your own creations turn on you

-mayo behavior

[cheshirecatlair]

Mayo is Mayo

mayo is MAYO

MAyo is maYo

mAyo is maYO

Mayo is MAYO

mAYO is MaYO

MAYo is MAyo

MaYO is NOt orB … .

MAYO IS MAYO !..! .

[cheshirecatlair]

NYEEHEEHEEHEE!

Texting your friend that you’re at your college advising day and they say that the Cat in the Hat is chaotic Mary Poppins

-mayo behavior

[cheshirecatlair]

Mayo Behavior!

If you're mayo, than why does your pfp look more like humus?

look closer and you'll see that it's distinctly white and not beige

also it looks smooth and shiny not matte and pasty

I understand that from a distance it's an easy mistake to make, but you should really take a moment to look a bit closer before throwing around such accusations

nothing against Hummus, I love Hummus, I've had some great times with Hummus just hanging around in the fridge. But I do not appreciate the implication that I have deceived the great people of Tumblr with my profile picture

for reference, here is me next to a similar picture of Hummus

(I'm on the right)

[cheshirecatlair]

Clocking in my shift at the catgirl factory