chronically-sapphic

[chronically-sapphic]

i dont think non aac users will ever understand the helplessness that we feel in regards to communication.

your device pronounces a word wrong. laughter. its fine, just go with it. but thats not what you meant. the meaning is changed. you type it differently, hoping to trick the program into saying it right. it doesnt.

your device bugs. you have to use a voice that does not match how you feel inside. you feel dysphoric like you did before you went on t. laughter from others. its fine because it has to be.

someone makes a bigoted remark to another person. you are typing as fast as you can - "that's not okay, you need to apologize" - your hands are shaking with the effort to be fast. the conversation moves on before you can hit "play". harm has been done and you have no control over it.

you navigate through a few folders. you want the word "sun". you keep hitting the button next to it, cloud. you hit delete. try again. you hit cloud. delete. try again. you hit cloud. over and over again. your body seems to have a mind of its own. it is frustrating. it is so so easy for everyone else.

your tablet is in the other room and you are trying to fingerspell. you want to sign "d". you see the shape your hand needs to be in in your mind. you keep signing "f". your hand will not make the correct finger go up and the rest go down.

the other person is trying to be patient. but theyre not. theyre frustrated. theyre trying not to show it. theyre frustrated. theyre frustrated. it radiates out from their body and makes your blood run cold. you're nauseous. you are always waiting for someone to lose their patience. it has happened before. it will happen again.

"do you understand how hard it is for us to get used to this" they say. youre about to cry. and if you, the aac user, if you show frustration, anger, sadness, anxiety, about not being able to communicate - you are difficult. "if you tried harder to speak, we wouldn't have these problems" - it stays unspoken but you hear it echoing in their words, on their faces, on the exhale of breath as they put their hands in their lap and call you "sweetie."

[chronically-sapphic]

[chronically-sapphic]

i think r/BenignExistence is my favorite subreddit 🥲 i love these pleasant little glimpses into strangers' lives

[chronically-sapphic]

hog shot down in another case of gun violence. police are currently fucking around elsewhere arresting innocent people. more at 11

[chronically-sapphic]

Affirmations for Rough Nights:

Although everyone says it, everyone does have bad nights. But I am not going to follow this up with some punchy line about the sun rising again, because even though it does that doesn’t always help at the time. Bad nights are hard and even harder when they happen frequently. This is a list of affirmations for self soothing, for the times when you need reassurance, comfort or affection, but are for whatever reason unable to receive it from someone else. I put these on a post it note in my nightstand for when I wake up from nightmares. I hope people find them to be helpful.

My feelings are valid, but they won’t last forever.

I deserve to rest

I deserve to feel safe

I will be safe

Everything will be okay 

I am healing

Things can get better

I am more than my past

My life is more than bad nights

I can get through this

I am stronger than I feel

I deserve to heal and grow

I am not alone

This will pass

Happier times are to come

Peace will find me

Hope will find me

I am good

I am enough

I am strong

There is good in me

There is good in this world

I am lovable

I am brave

I can get through this

As always feel free to use, share, adapt and change any of these. Stay safe, you are strong and can get through this. It will get better, you are not alone.

Keep Fighting,

S,

[chronically-sapphic]

t shirt that says if you do not give me written instructions i will kill myself

[chronically-sapphic]

brush my wobbly

[chronically-sapphic]

btw it is sexy and cool to uplift and admire people who have skills you wish you had without using their ability as a stick to beat yourself with. even and especially if you are jealous of them.

[chronically-sapphic]

STOP! before you decide you are irretrievably doomed, try one of the following options:

transition

bdsm

iron supplements

[chronically-sapphic]

also a poem from the new, unreleased collection. very possibly my own all-time favourite.

[chronically-sapphic]

Being a little too cold: brrrr i’m a little too cold !!!

Being a little too warm: i am going to kill the next person who makes eye contact with me.

[chronically-sapphic]

[chronically-sapphic]

Okay, new cleaning strategy.

Bad at self-discipline, good at acts of love through service. So I'm gonna clean my house pretending it is the house of someone I love who's been too depressed to clean. She's gonna be so surprised.

[chronically-sapphic]

I can’t stop thinking about crocodiles for some reason so here’s some cool pictures I found of probably the second largest one in captivity, his name is Utan:

isn’t he beautiful

listen to the SOUND when he bites

and that’s not even a real power bite, that’s mostly just heavy bone falling on heavy bone from his jaws and the air rushing out from between them

[chronically-sapphic]

I put together some body check-in sheets for people who have trouble organically checking in with their bodies in order to see how they feel throughout the day. I couldn't find one that I felt met the criteria I was looking for, so I made my own. It was initially made with one specific person in mind so it may or may not be 100% applicable to everyone's needs, but I thought I would share in case it's useful to anyone. Feel free to save, print, use, and share if you find it helpful. You are allowed to post this to another site or re-post it, but please consider crediting me.

The Body Check-In Cheat Sheet

[chronically-sapphic]

my mouth tastes like a toothbrush

[chronically-sapphic]

hang on I’m trying to see something

don’t tell me the name of your pet, just tell me in the tags the name you call them that’s got nothing to do with their actual name