chvmpionisms

[chvmpionisms]

irresistiibles:

“you should make note not to be a comedian because i’m really not getting the humor here.” emily said. sure, there were some weird people she’d run into here but at least she could understand most of them. she didn’t know what to do with this woman. she crossed her arms. “definitely never heard of it. is that where you’re from or something?” she still couldn’t help the woman was delusional, but she did know there was no thedas on earth. emily raised an eyebrow at that. “shit? you’d rather be in the afterlife than here in dc?”

hawke laughed softly. she was right, hawke was not cut out for that at all. ❝no, no, i’m just a sarcastic asshole. i’m hilarious because i’m such an ass. it’s the best kind of humor,❞ she explained with a wink. she nodded, cracking a small smile. ❝that is correct. i swear it’s a real place just... not here,❞ she muttered. hawke shrugged her shoulders. ❝at least in the afterlife i wouldn’t have to deal with sounding like i’m making a place up.❞ 

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somedcysdreamers:

“Because you are always only seeing the negative sides of everything, Hawke.” Sure, at this point, Bethany was used to it. But, different from her sister, she was always trying to be positive, to see the good side of things even when they would suck. “Just an assumption, of course. But, you have to admit, it could be worse. At least this is not the Fade. At least not as far as I know. Overall, this place is too nice for it, after all.”

❝i look at the negative side of things because everything i touch turns to shit. the path chose for me was not for me to cause a mage and templar war - it was for me to get drunk and occasionally kill my enemies,❞ hawke quipped. sarcasm was in her nature. her father never took anything seriously so it was easy to say she was very much her father’s daughter. ❝dear bethany, did i tell you about the time i was in the fade to get an apostate mage out? that was a wild time.❞

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pcreheart:

(¸.• ♛ → “Because I’m not in the mood and champion about what? Doesn’t matter, I’m just not feeling well and I prefer to be alone” She said now looking at the other one because that was true and honestly, the girl didn’t know what to do, it was very uncomfortable to feel this way.

@chvmpionisms continued from (x)

❝kirkwall. it’s a city,❞ hawke clarified. her brows furrowed further at her shortness. ❝is everything alright? i may not be the nicest person to talk to... but i’ve got a knack for fixing everyone’s problems.❞

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Merrill: Once you’ve hit rock bottom the only place to go is up! Hawke: You underestimate me. I’ve brought my pickaxe and I’m ready to dig.

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“you really need to go.” (Izzy)

five word prompts // accepting! // @pcreheart

hawke was considerably amused by her statement. usually people regarded her highly, when she wasn’t being the biggest asshole in the city. ❝telling the champion of kirkwall to go? is that wise?❞ she chuckled. ❝though my name doesn’t carry as much weight as it used to... why should i listen to you?❞

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"then what do you suggest?" // from magnus!

five word prompts // accepting! // @calxmities

❝it’s simple, really,❞ hawke answered with a lazy grin. ❝practice blood magic! it’s the hottest trend for mages in thedas,❞ she joked. her face fell slightly, and she cleared her throat awkwardly. after what happened to her mother with that blood mage, it was a very tricky subject for her. ❝i should not have joked about that.❞

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Shooting Star!

SPACE RELATED ASKS // ACCEPTING! // shooting star: who is your ideal s/o?

❝i tend to attract the crazy types, i’ll be quite honest. most notably an apostate that blew up the chantry, an adorable blood mage, a lustful pirate captain, a broody elf, a disgraced prince, and an elven assassin at one point? but i am very much attracted to people who either balance me out and take things very seriously or they’re fun-loving like i am. those close to me end up dying though.❞

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somedcysdreamers:

“Hawke!” Her eyes grew wider when Bethany realized it was really her. She was not alone anymore. Her sister was really here, as well. Finally. Laughing and also slightly crying, Bethany ran over, almost jumping into the arms of the older one. “I have been with the Wardens,” she said, a little breathless now. But we got seperated in the woods, and then… then I found myself here. What about you? What happened to you that brought you to this strange place?”

hawke felt relieved. it really had been a while since she had seen her sister. was it the kirkwall rebellion? she couldn’t remember because all hawke seemed to do was run from templars anyway. her companions had separated from her and the only one she truly kept in contact with was varric and aveline. ❝varric called for me. apparently he’s working with the inquisition now, isn’t that crazy? he told me that corypheus was involved with the breach and that the wardens were acting strangely. so i was on my way to meet the inquisitor and suddenly i’m in an entirely different world.❞ she chuckled bitterly. ❝why does all the bad stuff happen to me?❞

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irresistiibles: 

emily raised an eyebrow. “maker? is that who you worship in some cult?” she wouldn’t be surprised. given how much random bullshit the girl had already said it would make sense if she was part of some crazy shit. it would explain why this conversation had been so weird so far. “a different reality? you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me. is this thing supposed to be one big horrible joke? getting kidnapped and dragged across the country, sure i can believe that, but showing up in a different reality is bordering insanity.” emily sighed, leaning down to rub her temple. “it’s definitely not the afterlife. i would remember dying.”

❝now wouldn’t that be amusing? the chantry is actually just a cult and the maker is a false god. i’d pay varric to write about it,❞ hawke mused with a lazy smirk. maker, explaining to a complete stranger why thedas and earth seemed nothing alike would be a pain in the ass. though hawke had dealt with violent qunari, power-hungry templars, and hundreds of darkspawn, this seemed like the most daunting thing the champion of kirkwall had to face. ❝unless there’s a continent here called thedas, i can’t say that you’re wrong. unfortunate, isn’t it? i’m just as baffled as you are.❞ hawke sighed agitatedly. ❝well, shit.❞

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Best of sarcastic Hawke - Part 1/?

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somedcysdreamers:

@chvmpionisms || closed

Bethany was just walking down the streets without real destination when suddenly spotting a face in the crowd that seemed very familiar. The face of her sister. But that couldn’t be, could it? Was she really here? Had Hawke finally found a way to bring her back home? Or was her mind only playing tricks on her once again?

hawke had only one thing on her mind: finding a way back to thedas and far away from this futuristic alternate reality. but there were some good things to this new reality, she looked and felt as young as she did when she left lothering. speaking of lothering, was that--? ❝bethany?❞ her sister’s name slipped out of her mouth in surprise. ❝this day just gets better and better. i thought you were off doing maker-knows-what with the wardens? i asked aveline to find you because of strange acting wardens- oh, never mind.❞ she held her arms out and grinned. ❝come give your favorite sister a hug.❞

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iron-bullxd:

“I am Qunari.”  He says proudly.  “This place took away my beautiful horns !…and my eyepatch.”  He says and drops one tire to put a hand to his eye.  Though he does laugh at that.  

❝maker, did they really? what a vile, cruel city this place is,❞ hawke said amusingly. her brows furrowed slightly. ❝you don’t happen to... know the arishok, right? because i’m sorry for every qunari who was involved in the siege of kirkwall and had no say in it.❞ she shrugged her shoulders. ❝i know it was disavowed at kont-aar, but i can’t help but wonder.❞

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wcnterfire:

(¸.• ♛ → “Maker? What you keep calling me like that?” Now what the girl was saying to her it didn’t make sense so that’s why she was just very confused about what the other one was saying “And I had a very horrible childhood and not for that I’m rude with people”

❝no, you’re not the maker. the maker is a deity. he created our world, but also abandoned us in our time of need. that’s what the chantry says at least.❞ hawke chuckled nervously. ❝i’m not always rude. i’m just a sarcastic bastard. humor is the only way for me to cope with life.❞

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irresistiibles:

emily just blinked, staring at the other for a few seconds. “i hope you’re just fucking with me. that’s not how any actual science works.” if anything it was basically impossible to prove anything truly worked, but you could be fairly sure. “i shouldn’t even be surprised when shit like this happens anymore.” emily muttered, mostly to herself. she stood listening, the look on her face getting more and more confused as the woman went on. “wow, i understand exactly none of that. this better not just be part of some big nerdy fucking roleplaying experience cause that’s what it sure sounds like.”

hawke shrugged her shoulders indifferently. ❝science? it’s just the maker’s way of the world,❞ she concluded. oh, fantastic, this girl wasn’t from thedas. why should she be surprised? hawke had never encountered someone who didn’t know at least a little bit about her background, and she didn’t mean it in a cocky way. hawke was very notorious. ❝oh, yeah, right, not a roleplaying experience. it turns out that i’m not even close to home. i’m in a totally different reality, and i really hope this isn’t the afterlife.❞

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iron-bullxd:

“You need me to do what exactly ?”  The Qunari asks as he weight lifts to heavy tires as part of his exercise routine.  He may be in a strange land but now more than ever he needs to hone his strength and skills.  

❝andraste’s ass, you’ve got the strength of a qunari,❞ hawke blurted out in awe as she watched the man work out. she still hadn’t gotten used to this society. the more she talked, the more she made herself look like an idiot. ❝and i forgot what i was saying because woah, those muscles.❞

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wcnterfire:

(¸.• ♛ → “Headphones” She said looking at the other one, now frowning a bit at what she was saying “There is not an explanation, you know? This is just how it is, that’s all”

❝oh, maker, what a perfect excuse! i should use that in the future.❞ hawke rolled her eyes. ❝’hawke, why are the apostates and templars at war?’ ‘there is not an explanation, you know? that’s just how it is, that’s all’,❞ she said sarcastically. she flashed the girl an apologetic smile. ❝sorry, i’ve had a rough past few years.❞