cleansocksdirtyfeet

[cleansocksdirtyfeet]

Storm

Summer storms

Sounds like the world ending

The separate paths our lives are trending

My sweet heroine

My homeless heart

Im glad you came

Im sorry you couldn’t stay

My bittersweet cigarette

I like to think I’m god’s

Just burning away until he flicks me

I hope I’m the good morning

And the good night

But it must end

Not made for the light

A letter we can’t send

My kiss on her hips

She pushes away my lips

The things you would love if you could

The things that you have that you should

A constant yearn for more

Instead we close the door

On opportunities that challenge our safety

Comfort in slavery

[cleansocksdirtyfeet]

Acceptance

I know you’re not okay

I don’t know what to say

I know inside you’re burning

Outside my cold shoulder turning

Our disappointing safety nets

Placing unsure bets

The gamble of relationships

The merging of hips

The crossing of lips

Cracking of whips

Your nurturing nature

My favorite feature

Me an unloveable creature

I don’t want to blow you off

Our remnants a bad cough

Gotta get rid of it

Loving every memory of it

Put my head down to forget

Your kiss that busted my lip

The way our worlds flipped

Crawling out like a bad trip

Memories of you on your knees

Unforgettable ecstasy

Love is more than sex to me

My own vex constantly

[cleansocksdirtyfeet]

Rage

Unbridled rage

Unlivable wage

My stages of grief

Praying for deaths relief

My love imaginary

She was just an apothecary

Cold hearts in summer skin

Phase blown over by the wind

The beauty in her eyes

The love in her lies

The sounds of these cries

All just food for the flies

Oh how quick love dies

I will leave

Find a moment to breathe

Im the dreaded Judas

The canis lupus

My cynical disposition

Haze of anger that clouds my vision

Was I born to be alone

Or is it just all I’ve ever known

Cramps in anguish

Sweetness in her lips

Bitterness of my cigarettes

A natural divider

Will i ever learn from the wiser

The things I’d do to find her

Will I ever bind her

The hair in my eyes

My distaste for goodbyes

Born as our fathers were

The lies I carry for her

The disappointment I would be

If he were to ever truly know me

[cleansocksdirtyfeet]

End

To love you

The worst thing I could ever do

How I wait to hear about your day

Smiling at every word you say

You’re my mosquito bite that doesnt stop itching

Your looks that are so bewitching

I’m addicted to you

We’re just each others something new

The way you smell the way you taste

My demons I can’t face

My feelings I can’t replace

I must leave you without a trace

My wicked spell that tempted your idle hands

A love unknowable to any other land

I guess we were just each others vacation

Now to return to our distant relation

Summer is ending

My thoughts keep bending

Falling forward to our daytime lovers

Our words we won’t recover

Locking the door, throwing away the key

To what could have but will never be

A sacrificed infant

A failed commitment

We must lean to resentment

To hate is to end it

An innocent slaughtering

Wounds I’m cauterizing

A curse for the worst

Why am I never first

[cleansocksdirtyfeet]

[cleansocksdirtyfeet]

Hate

The way I hate everything without you

The way i want you to hate me too

The way we only smile around eachother

The life we could share together

The fear it would be better than it currently is

Dont tell me it really was the last kiss

How I can’t bare

We’re separately together

I wish I had somewhere to go in this weather

How I lie to you like its not everything to me

How you cry hoping I feel the same as thee

The real way you’re the girl in all the movies

And I’m the guy in all your books and stories

Tonight you lay with him

Really you long for my skin

The stories of our scars we share

The way this fate just isn’t fair

I’m sorry for ruining everything

So painful to not have anything

My beard on your chest

The way it feels in your caress

All the agony in my waking breath

Dreaming about you, life after death?

[cleansocksdirtyfeet]

Kiss

Thank god you blessed me again

A lovely reminder of our original sin

Oh how i missed your teeth on my tongue

If only it could last longer

I like that this love grows stronger

A reassurance I shouldn’t have needed

Unbelievable the way I felt defeated

Our brief mistake

A tempting fate

But we know he’s someone you can’t replace

Especially not for my beautifully fake face

We both know what we want and need

How they don’t line up that sows this seed

I’m sorry for looking at you the way I do

You don’t realize its the same way he does too

He is soul and I am misery

You don’t realize it but you’ve already chosen wisely

You’re starting to not feel bad because you’re getting used to it

Why does it scare you when he gets mad about stupid shit

Your neck wet with tears

The things we’d say after a few beers

Our ceiling that leaks

The way you felt my cheeks

How you said its over

Because you’re married to another

Any other man you said

I’m just better off dead

My prey you will never be safe

I will continue to track you til its too late

My attempts at sedation

My shocking revelation

The way I bit your neck

My lifes a car wreck

I miss being loved

Always felt empty in every hug

The grave my father dug

These stones I try to shrug

How I don’t love you

What has made me will hurt you

Dont let my curtains fool you

Behind me is a pit and I’m waiting to push you

As the many others I did

For my heart there is no bid

As I was abandoned as a kid

All of my feelings I will be rid

[cleansocksdirtyfeet]

Loud

My grandmother was loud

Thats why we’re so quiet

You’re the only thing I want in my diet

So sick of having to hide it

How its growing harder to fight it

Thinking of the life we cant have

Oh but if we did

When you said you were happy to not have his kid

The new kind of beautiful I see in you

Your eye color’s yellow-green hue

The waves in our hair

The feelings we share

How you settled down too fast

Hoping it won’t last

Begging for our chance

But with him you’ll do this dance

Your wedding thats on the books

How we exchange desperate looks

Would I make the same mistakes he does?

Of course I would but you don’t know that

My cigarette colored dog and your black cat

My unfortunate perceptions

My painful reflections

Exchanging old pictures

The flickering light fixture

Our minds are somewhere else

A world where we can be our true selves

The kiss you didn’t want that I stole

Before you I bare my soul

[cleansocksdirtyfeet]

Lead

How heavy my heart feels of lead

On our morning walk together

Thought I wouldn’t write another love letter

Then I see you in your dress

Looking too bright to resist

A puny bug to your light

Wishing things that just aren’t right

Begging for your submission

And this loves omission

A tortured soul

A broken home

The same I’ve ways known

Your fear of roaches and thunder

This dreadful summer

This love banished to the realm of writing

My pain that won’t stop writhing

A strike of lightning

My lips I keep biting

Every song rings your name

Maybe its wrong to feel shame

Why are we one and the same

Recoiling feelings for our supposed lovers

The crave to nurture each other

Your small mouth

Smiles wide for me

You’re afraid you’ve lied to me

When all we’ve done is live truthfully

Created a sickness beautifully

Defiling the sanctity of marriage

An abandoned baby in its carriage

No one will ever write for you the way I do

No one else would know where to begin, not even a clue

The part of me that wants to ask if its still over

The way I don’t want closure

Hating the way my hope still rolls over

To wish upon a clover

To be your holder

My betrayal as an older brother

Low dark clouds

My lustful vows

My lingering stare

Your dirty blonde hair

Strong summer rain

The reality in my brain

The one I’m not allowed to claim

The way you’re driving me insane

The irking of this pain.

[cleansocksdirtyfeet]

[cleansocksdirtyfeet]

— sylvia plath (via letsbelonelytogetherr)

[cleansocksdirtyfeet]

Sickening

A twisting hunger still plaguing me

Unfortunately I know this won’t be what breaks me

I’ve been without my entire life

Theres really no need for the knife

Stab myself anyway

I hate that guys guts I’ll say

How did he get in here in the first place

Another branch of psyche

Trying to cope with that my mother didn’t like me

My heart born outside of my chest

Unprotected and broken from her breast

How dare I treat myself like less

The same way she did I guess

Once again without a bed

Nowhere to really rest my unruly head

My hair thats getting long and messy

The way my mechanisms arm their sentries

Always so worried about my appearance

You say its fine with endearment

Throat sore when I haven’t screamed anything

But how am I supposed to give it a rest from the smoking

These vices are the only way I’ve been coping

My impulses another side effect of feeling unseen again

Reminding me of childhood when I’m supposed to be a man

Do I ever grow up

Does my mother ever show up

Will I ever give my hope up

The sliver thats left

Hoping for things that aren’t right

The secrets I keep out of sight

The child too afraid still to fight

Oh to see the light

Whoever she is

I hope she bites

[cleansocksdirtyfeet]

for when love is written in the stars but lost in the alignment.

[cleansocksdirtyfeet]

— via @juneacademia

[cleansocksdirtyfeet]

Sweat

I’m glad you’re happy without me

If you’re not you’re always about to be

Awoken in the middle of the night

Please bite me again tonight

Instead a friendly smile and wave

Hoping for a moment you’ll cave

Please please please fill my crave

Instead back to him

Sounds I wish I were in

Scratch myself from depravity of your touch

Do i really miss you this much

Cycle more sounds

Hopefully my body is never found

The different person you are with me

Its who i prefer you to be

Us different together

Just to be pushed to never

Or only enjoyed in our brief passing mornings

The way you make them more adorning

How you wish this to end

Hoping you’ll like what I write again

Are you even still thinking of me

Or am I alone in another emotional tragedy

Hoping you’re still thinking of me when you’re with him

Why must I be unforgivably grim

Do you wish it was me when you close your eyes to kiss

I doubt it, I’ll slit my wrist

The feeling you wanted

The feeling I needed

The way I never get treated

The way I’m being beaten

Wishing for more harm

To see you without his arm

This will be the last time

No more writing about what isn’t mine

If only we had never crossed this line

I will not give notice

Only when I die will I not feel so hopeless

This unbearable heartbreak

Shattering my tectonic plates

I hate.

Souring to anger

The inevitable flavor

I hope you don’t cum again

And if you do that it’s not because of him

A sick an awful wish

But something I made you do with only my lips

Still remembering the way your legs dripped

How you tasted it when you finished

This too will phase me out

Inside my head all I do is shout

No matter how quiet it comes out

Still sleeping on the ground

Wishing to never be found

[cleansocksdirtyfeet]

Wet

The shoes that are still wet

My feet raw with regret

Our night I won’t forget

Suddenly every song is about you

The things I still wish to do

Your smell still on my neck

Please don’t leave yet

The way you’re excited to see me

The way you don’t feel bad about it

The guilt that robs you of it

The red we turn from touching each other

We’re allergic to each other

My heart that burns when you’re with your lover

Why am I another

Could we ever recover

The words you would shudder

Our love under cover

The expired tags on our cars

How you remind me of the stars

When we drive around together

I open the windows to blow smoke wherever

How these are love letters

Am I starting to feel better

Starting to forget her

But we’re an addiction

You’re in my nicotine

In my caffeine

The fiction you seek me in

Because these feelings are a sin

My muse starting to fade

Was it just a daze

I’ll know in the morning

If our lives go back to being boring

The attention we didn’t get before

How my heart felt so sore

Suddenly isn’t affecting me anymore

After this I don’t feel the same with mine

She worries for me but not the right kind

I suddenly don’t like her taste on my cigarettes

She never liked the smell anyway

Is all my love starting to fade?

Still begging for another kiss

One I never knew I’d miss

Writing like when I was a kid

Smoking like when my dad did

The lightning in the distance

Is the storm blowing over

When she said I’m just like my mother

Angry I loved another

What would she think of her only one

Would she be proud of the things I’ve done

Too bad she never will

She never was

Why did she really leave

Just because?

[cleansocksdirtyfeet]

Ache

Heart ache and gut turning is all I feel when I wake up

As i hear you listen to music I showed you

Oh the things i wish I hadn’t told you

Waking up every day for you no matter the time

Begging to commit another beautiful crime

This shouldn’t be so hard

I finally dreamt last night

Thankfully you weren’t there

It was good to forget about you for a while

But now my minds awake again

And I have to be ok with just friends

The things I don’t want to end

Why does my heart ache?

Did I miss something about love and lust that I couldn’t trust

Of course I did

I’m me and I’ll feel things completely as always

Never able to shove it down enough

Until I finally do and it just pressurizes the bottle that is my sick mind

Waiting to explode

It kind of shows through me that the only thing I need is release

Maybe that’s why this happened

Yet here I am

No release

Simply just you renting one in my mind

A truly unfortunate time

A barbed wire bind

It hurts

Not the feeling I was hoping would come back when they all faded

Hope keeps me unjaded

Your smell fills the room

Fight the urge to weave the loom

Another stitch of something between us