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The Illusion of Perfection

“For there is not a just man upon earth, that doeth good, and sinneth not.” (Ecclesiastes 7:20)

“For we are glad, when we are weak, and ye are strong: and this also we wish, even your perfection.” (2 Corinthians 13:9)

“There is no perfection, only beautiful versions of brokenness.” (Shannon L. Alder)

“There is no way to genuinely, powerfully, truly love yourself while crafting a mask of perfection.” (Veronika Tugaleva)

This girl has fought to become the person she is today.  You see, the girl in this picture hasn’t always loved herself or treated herself the way she deserves to be.  This girl lost herself and forgot who she was and Whose she was.  This girl lost her self-confidence and pushed herself to look and act perfect.  Until one day, she broke.  She began to struggle.  She became stressed and overwhelmed.  Exercise became her addiction and her escape from reality.  It became her high.  She stopped eating food and lost weight at an extremely unhealthy rate until she was nothing but skin and bones.  She developed an eating disorder.  She became someone she no longer recognized.

This girl fought to find her way back to who she was.  She fought to heal the physical and emotional damage she had done to herself.  This girl fought to remember who she was and Whose she was.  This girl fought to find her way to the person she is today.  This girl worked hard to rebuild her self esteem and self-confidence.  This girl worked hard to re-learn to see herself the way God sees her.  Perfect and beautiful in all of her flaws.  This girl is me.

As Christians, we often have the belief that we have to look and act perfect.  But the truth is we don’t.  We are going to stumble.  We are going to fall.  We are going to make mistakes.  And that’s okay, as long as we learn and grow from them.  Perfectionism is unachievable.  It’s an illusion that no human will ever reach.

God sees us as perfect just the way we are.  We don’t have to make changes to ourselves just so we can please someone else.  God is the only person we need to please.  Learn to see yourself exactly how God sees you!  Beautiful in all your flaws!  And maybe, just maybe, you will not experience what I experienced!  You are amazing and perfect exactly the way God created you!!

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Mirror Reflections

“Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.” (Proverbs 31:30)

“I will praises thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.” (Psalm 139:14)

“In a mirror is where we find a reflection of our appearances, but in a heart is where we find a reflection of our soul.” (Unknown)

“Your self esteem won’t come from body parts.  You need to step away from the mirror every once in a while, and look for another reflection, like the ones in the eyes of the people who love you and admire you.” (Stacy London)

Mirrors are used to reflect one’s image back to them.  They help us to see and check our appearances to make sure we look good before leaving the house for church, or work, or an important event.  They help us check our hair to make sure every strand is in perfect position.  They help us to check our clothes to make sure we look good.  According to an article written by Tara Well, “Mirros can evoke strong feelings in us- and they can also be incredibly powerful tools for changing our perspective and seeing parts of ourselves that are usually hidden as we look out into the world.”

However, all too often, the mirror is often used as one of our biggest enemies.  We use the mirror to tear ourselves down, to hate on our outward appearance, and to point out all our flaws.  Outward appearances should not matter.  God does not judge us based on who we are on the outside.  True beauty comes from the heart.  

I can’t begin to tell you how many times over the last few years I have used the mirror to tear myself down.  I would stand in front of the mirror for minutes pointing out everything I hated about my outward appearance until I didn’t love myself anymore, and began to struggle with an unhealthy relationship with food and exercise. I got to a point where I was barely eating any food and exercising at every possible chance I had to get rid of the pieces of myself I hated.  I began to become someone I did not recognize anymore.j  I had to relearn to love my outward appearance.  If I’m going to be completely honest, this is something I am still working on learning to love. 

I’m learning that God sees me for who I am inside.  As the quote says above, self esteem does not come from body parts.  My self esteem comes from knowing who I am inside and through surrounding myself with people that love me and care about me for who I am and not what I look like.

The people we surround ourselves with matter.  The people who truly care about us will help us to build our self-confidence, help us to build our character, and help us to see ourselves through a different lens.  They should be people we can go talk to when we are having a tough day.

All of us, including myself, need to begin to use the mirror to see us for who we are on the inside.  It is the heart that matters the most. 

How often do you stand in front of the mirror and tear yourself down?  How often do you use the mirror to build up your self-esteem?  Is the mirror your worst enemy, or is it your best friend?  Do you surround yourself with people who love you and accept you for you, or do you surround yourself with people who only tear you apart and destroy your self esteem?  Who you surround yourself with matters.

Let’s begin to use the mirror to build up our self esteem, to look at our flaws and find reasons why they are beautiful.  We are all fearfully and wonderfully created by God.  He loves us for who we are.  After all, True beauty comes from within. 

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If Only…

“But even the very hairs of your head are numbered.  Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows.” (Luke 12:7)

“For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” (Ephesians 6:12)

“Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward.” (Hebrews 10:35)

“The enemy tricks us into believing we are not good enough because he knows if we discover the truth we’ll be unstoppable.”- Holly Garth

“This is your reminder, that you, in your skin, in your natural state, in simply being- are enough.  You don’t have to shape or change.  You don’t have to be perfect, pushing away every mistake and blemish, and bruise. You don’t have to beat yourself for mistakes of the past, for the times you lost your way, for the way you doubt even when you know doubt is filled with lies.  You are enough.”- Marisa Donnelly

Have you ever heard a message or heard a song come on the radio that you felt was meant for your ears only?  I have been feeling like that all week this week.  Earlier in the week, a question was posed to me that I have not been able to get out of my mind.  What do I feel is my biggest fear about myself?  As I thought about this question, I automatically knew what my answer was, or rather is.  Being honest about the answer is another story which I will come back to.

The other day on my way home from work, I was listening to the radio when a song by Mandisa came on.  The lyrics to the song stopped me in my tracks and really got me thinking.  The song lyrics went on to say “If only I could see me as you see me and understand the way that I am loved, would it give a whole new meaning to my purpose?”  The chorus ended with, “We both know it would change everything, if only I believed the truth about me.

By now, many of you are probably wondering: “What is your biggest fear about yourself, Cassie?”  My biggest fear about me is I am not a good enough person, a good enough daughter, a good enough sister, a good enough aunt, a good enough therapist, a good enough Christian.  I am not enough.  I am not good enough.  Deep down, I know all of these fears are lies, and I have to work hard every day to push those lies out of my head.

Since hearing this song, one thought has been running through my mind: “What would my life look like if only I believed the truth about me?  How would things be different? Would I lay awake late at night lost in the thoughts that plague my mind? I know for me, I would not struggle with an eating disorder.  I would stop doubting my abilities as a therapist and as a person.  I would learn to believe that what God really says about me is in fact the truth. I would be able to fulfill God’s plan for my life without doubting or being afraid to step out and take that leap of faith.

You see, the enemy wants us to believe these lies about ourselves.  The enemy only has one purpose and that is to destroy us, to destroy our futures, to trick us into believing all these lies about ourselves so God’s purpose for us goes unfulfilled.  He is scared of who we will become and the power we can possess once we start to see who we really are.  God tells me I am loved, I am enough, I am beautiful, and created in His image. I need to work everyday on believing that truth about me. He cares so much about me that He even knows how many hairs are on my head. To me, that is amazing!!

I am now going to pose the same question to you.  What is your biggest fear about yourself?  What would your life look like if only you believed the truth about you?  You know it would change so much.  It would change your thought process, and it would change how you view yourself and the world.

Once we can let go of those fears and doubts, we can really begin to discover who we are in God.  We can begin to step out in faith and fulfill our purpose. We can begin to believe that everything God says about us is in fact the truth. Don’t give in to the lies of the enemy.  We can’t let him win.  We need to show the enemy that we are stronger than him.  Let go of your fears and try to visualize what things would look like If only you believed the truth about you!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qj5fMIKe47w

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The Power of Words

“Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.” (Proverbs 16:24)

“What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?  For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)

“Words are singularly the most powerful force available to humanity.  We can choose to use this force constructively or destructively.”  (Yohuda Berg)

“Words are containers for power.  You choose what kind of power they carry.” (Joyce Meyer)

Words have so much power.  They shape who become, how we see ourselves, and how others view us.  Words either positive or negative have the power to significantly influence us.  These can be words we say about ourselves, or words other people say about us that we come to believe about ourselves.  Some of these words might be true (positive words), and some of them might not be true (negative words).  We as humans have a tendency to believe even the worst things about ourselves.

It is always easier to stand in front of the mirror and use our words to tear ourselves apart instead of using our words to build ourselves up.  It is always easier to focus on the negative qualities rather than the positives.  It is always easier to believe what our worst enemy said about us rather than believe what our best friend says about us.  

In an article titled “The Power of Positive Words”, Shubham Gupta writes “Harsh words can hack your mind and thinking process easily.  You feel miserable and negative thinking might trap you in emotional bondage.  Positive words can develop the sense of self confidence, honesty, and happiness in your mind that are worth listening to and saying.”  This statement could not be more true.  All too often, harsh words are the cause of low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and many other mental health issues.  

I, like many others, get trapped in that cycle of using my words to tear myself apart.  When I was in the middle of my eating disorder, I would stand in front of the mirror and point out every physical and mental thing I hated about myself.  I would make many of the following statement: “You will never be enough.  You are ugly.  You are not smart enough.” And many others.  I would cry myself to sleep at night because deep down I knew those negative statements were not true and saying them just made me feel worse.  For so long, I struggled to change my thoughts.  It took a lot of time and even more patience.  To be honest, there are still days where I struggle to see all my positive qualities.  On those days, I will challenge myself to look for the positives.  It is not always easy to do, but I make myself do it anyway.  

What words do you say to yourself that tear you down?  Do you cry yourself to sleep over the words you or someone else says about you?  What do you do to counter your negative thoughts?  I know from experience that countering negative thoughts can be the most challenging part of the healing process.

Satan wants us to feel all the negative qualities about ourselves.  He does not want us to see those positives.  Anytime you think negative thoughts about yourself, know they are not from God.  They are from Satan.  Like it says in Proverbs, pleasant words can bring healing to our bodies not only physically but also mentally.  

Next time you are standing in front of the mirror, try to see yourself the way God sees you.  Build yourself up with your words.  Ask yourself the question “Who does God say I am?”  Our words are meant to be used for good.  Eventually you will begin to believe in yourself more, and you will begin to see yourself how God sees you: Beautiful, perfect, and amazing just the way you are!  All you need to do is trust in God and believe in yourself!

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Underneath the Lies

Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old.  Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it?  I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert. (Isaiah 43:18-19)

She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.  When she speaks her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.  (Proverbs 31:25-26)

“My story is filled with broken pieces, terrible choices, and ugly truths.  It’s also filled with a major comeback, peace in my soul, and a grace that saved my life.”  (Unknown)

“You’re stupid.  You’re ugly.  You’re not thin enough.  You’re not smart enough.  Just go one more day.  Just go one more week.  If you eat that, you are going to gain weight.  Go one more mile to burn off the calories from that bowl of oatmeal.  Lose five more pounds then get healthy again.”

I told myself all these lies and a hundred others.  Week in and week out I would slowly watch the numbers on the scale drop.  At first feeling elated and happy because I was getting the results I wanted.  The goal was to lose weight, right? So why was I feeling miserable and unhappy?  Why was I hating who I was?  Why did I stare at myself in the mirror having nothing but self-loathing thoughts towards myself and my body?  I would stare at a plate of food unable to bring myself to eat it, afraid I would gain a significant amount of weight.  If I did eat, I would immediately go exercise to burn off those calories.  

These are the lies the enemy wanted me to believe.  These are the lies my eating disorder wanted me to believe. I really, truly believed I was okay.  I did not see anything wrong.  In fact, every time I looked at myself in the mirror, all I would see was everything I hated about myself.  I would think about different exercise routines I could come up with to fix those parts of me that I hated.  At first, these were lies I really believed.  After a few weeks of telling them to myself, I knew they were just that: a whole bunch of lies that I kept buying into.  By that point, I felt it was too late and did not know how to stop.  My eating disorder had total control over me. My eating disorder should have been the end of my story.  Thankfully, that is not where my story ends.

All too often, eating disorders are brought on by stress or traumatic events in a person’s life.  As humans, we use food either as a way to cope with or avoid difficult emotions.  In her book Eating in the Light of the Moon, Dr. Anita Johnston states, “Eating can be used to escape from uncomfortable feelings... If we are having a difficult time coping with confusing or conflicting feelings, we may discover that by starving, we are able to disconnect from our bodily sensations so that we can’t feel what’s inside.”  By focusing on all the lies I believed about myself and by focusing on how hungry I was, I was able to avoid dealing with my difficult emotions.  I was able to stuff those emotions down so deeply that I became someone I did not even recognize anymore.

It was not until I had a moment that was just between myself and God that all the lies I had ever been told or believed about myself started to unravel.  Because of that moment I was able to come out from under the lies and deal with the feelings I had been avoiding.  In that moment, I finally felt at peace again, and I knew that eventually everything would be okay. Even though I still tell myself some of these lies, I turn around and counter them with what I know is true. It’s not always easy to do. But I do it anyway.

What lies has the enemy been feeding you that you have been buying into?  What emotions do you avoid?  What do you tell yourself when you stare at yourself in the mirror?  Are you able to hear God’s voice, or do you let the voice of the enemy get so loud that it drowns out the voice of God?

Unraveling the lies is a very difficult and emotional process.  However, once you start dealing with your problems and feelings rather than running away from them, you will be able to discover the beautiful and amazing person you are underneath those lies.  You will be able to discover who you are in God and walk with strength and confidence into the future.

It is time we all stop buying into the lies the enemy feeds us.  Only then will we be able to come out of our shame and guilt and discover who we are and Whose we are!  We each belong to God.  He tells us we are enough.  It is time we too believe that we are enough! It is time to clothe ourselves in strength and dignity like the Proverbs 31 Woman and walk without fear into the amazing futures God has planned for each one of us!

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Beautifully Broken

“I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.”  (Psalm 139:14)

“But now, O Lord, thou art our father; we are the clay, and thou our potter; and we all are the work of thy hand.”  (Isaiah 64:8)

“And then she realized that a fresh start was hers for the taking, that she could be the woman she’s always seen on the distant horizon- her future self.  One step at a time starting today.”  (Unknown)

We all have a story to tell.  We all have a past that we do not like to talk about.  In so many ways, we are all broken.  As the verse says above, we are the clay and God is the potter.  I realize I might be getting a little personal in this post, and it might be hard for some to hear, but I finally feel ready to share.  This is my story.

I fell and lost myself.  I fell out of love with myself.  Slowly, and with a lot of help,  I picked myself back up and pieced myself back together.  I gave myself a fresh start.  In the process, I discovered the girl I have always been and continue to discover her more each day.  I have learned to love that girl again.  We all fall, and we all break.  What matters is that we get back up and allow God to piece us back together, and allow God to give us a new beginning.  It is okay to fall as long as we get back up.

Oftentimes it is our own insecurities that gets in the way of becoming who we are meant to be.  We often have to work to fight back the thoughts that we are not pretty enough, smart enough, or strong enough.  We feel we don’t measure up to other people.  The truth is we are all beautiful and perfect the way we are.

In her book Silencing Insecurity: Believing God’s Truth About You, Donna Gibbs states “The enemy has found a great tool for crippling our joy.  It is true that a healthy sense of self is created from the inside out and attacked from the outside in.”  As I read this statement, I could not help but think how true this is. All too often we start to judge ourselves based on who we are on the outside.  However, true beauty comes from within.  I just wish I could have seen that sooner.  If I had, then maybe what you are about to read next would not have happened.  

I used to be so secure in who I was.  Sure, like a lot of people, I struggled with my self confidence when it came to my abilities to trying and doing new things. Over time, my lack of self confidence had me feeling like I was no longer good enough, smart enough, thin enough, or pretty enough.  I started comparing myself to other people.  I began to hate who I was.  I lost my sense of security.  I felt lost, broken, and alone.  I even began to feel like no one cared about me.  I began to feel like my best days were behind me.  

If you have not been able to guess by now, I had (and to an extent still struggle with) an eating disorder.  During this time, so much was happening in my life.  I became stressed and overwhelmed. Exercising and controlling my diet became my way of dealing with the stress.  It became my way of coping.  It became my way of running from the problems instead of staying and fixing them. I felt like I had no other option when all along, I should have been buried in God’s Word and Praying on my knees. Because at the end of the day, after the 8-10 mile walks and only a bowl of oatmeal for a meal, the problems were still there. I got to a place where I did not even want to get out of bed in the mornings. Most Sundays I could barely get up to come to church. When I was at church I felt like I could not hear or feel God working in my life. “So why would I want to spend time outside church in prayer and Bible reading?” was the thought that constantly ran through my mind.

I fell and lost myself.  I broke.  But, like a piece of pottery that has fallen off the shelf, God picked up the broken pieces and put me back together.  He turned my broken into something beautiful.  Now, with a year of recovery, I am happier than I have been in a long time.  I am slowly becoming the woman I feel like God wants me to be.  Do I wish I could go back to that time and change the past?  Everyday.  However, I know I would not be who I am today without that part of my history. That time made me stronger and made me believe in myself again.

I am going to be honest and say there are still days when I struggle. There are still days when I have to fight back my own insecurities. There are still several days when I wake up and have to force myself to make the healthy choices that I make. Not every day is perfect.  But now, I am choosing to believe God’s truth about me: “I am fearfully and wonderfully made by Him.” Whatever your struggle, it is never too late to let God pick up the broken pieces and put them back together.

It is time you too believe in God’s truth about you.  You are fearfully and wonderfully made by Him.  All the pieces might not be perfectly in place.  We just need to let Him be the potter and put us together piece by piece.  We are beautifully broken, but perfect in God’s eyes.

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HOPE- “Hold On, Pain Ends”

The Lord is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble; and he knoweth them that trust in him. (Nahum 1:7)

Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer. (Romans 12:12)

Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised). (Hebrews 10:23)

“God is the only one who can make the valley of trouble a door of hope.”- Catherine Marshall

Have you ever been faced with a storm or trial in which you felt all hope was lost?  Trials are a fact of life.  We are faced with physical and spiritual battles every day we live.  Some days, we feel we don’t have the strength to keep going, and that all hope is lost.  Sometimes, we barely get the strength to roll out of bed in the morning.  It takes our last bit of strength to hold onto just a little bit of hope.

I, like many others, struggle many days with finding the strength to keep holding onto that hope.  Many days, I ask myself the question “Is this pain and suffering that I face ever going to end?  What is my life going to look like when I get to the other side of this storm?”  Even during those times when I feel all hope is lost, I still find the strength to keep fighting.  I know God will be my stronghold and keep fighting my battles for me.

I was reading an article the other day entitled “Finding Hope in difficult Times.”  Several statements in this article stood out to me.  I’ll first start with the definition of Hope: “Hope means to desire something with confident expectation of its fulfillment.”  Through hope, we believe and trust in God to fulfill our needs and maybe even our wants.  Because of our faith we even have hope that He will make a way for us when no other way seems to be found.

The article goes onto say, “He will give you peace and comfort in the worst of circumstances and again set your feet on solid ground.  OUr God is the God of new beginnings, with HIm nothing is impossible.  Trusting God through these unchartered waters takes faith and courage, but is worth every effort.  The path of His choosing is the only one that leads to true happiness.”  

Even in my darkest moments, I cling to hope in Jesus that things will work out according to His perfect will.  I somehow find a little more strength to keep fighting.  I have hopeand faith the battle I am currently facing will end.  I can’t wait to see who I am on the other side.  I have felt my faith grow in so many ways throughout this very challenging year.  My hope only grows stronger every day.

Never give up hope.  Keep finding the strength to stay in the fight.  The storm you are currently facing will not last.  Keep trusting and hoping in God to get you through.

As Christians we always have hope that Jesus will get us through anything.  Jesus promised us in Scriptures that He would never leave us or foresake us.  Because of Him, we have hope.  Always client to that.  Always be strong even on days you feel you have no strength left.

Remember HOPE- “Hold ON, Pain Ends.  The pain we face now will end whether it’s here on earth or one day in Heaven.

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Such a Time As This

For if thou altogether boldest thy peace at this time, then shall there enlargement and deliverance arise to the Jews from another place; but thou and thy father’s house shall be destroyed: and who knoweth whether thou art come into the kingdom for such a time as this?  (Esther 4:14)

Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.  (Isaiah 41:10)

Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.  (Psalm 46:10)

The story of Esther has always been my favorite story from the Bible.  To me, Esther is more than just a story.  She was a real person with real emotions and feelings.  Even though she did not know it at the time, she was chosen by God to be Queen for a specific purpose.  To me, Esther is about letting go of our fears and being courageous in a time of great adversity.

By now, many of us know the story of Esther.  Because of this I am not goin g to go into great detail about her story.  Instead, I am going to share what her  story means to me.  The other day, I had the privilege of watching Queen Esther at the Sight & Sound Theatre.  There was one line in the show that kept standing out to me, “Be still and know I am God.”  This line was repeated over and over again.  When Esther was crowned queen, she had no idea what purpose God had for her in that position.  It wasn’t until the Jews were sentenced to death that God revealed Queen Esther’s purpose.

When Esther was asked to go before the king and plead for the lives of her people, she feared for her life as she could have been put to death for appearing before the king without first being summoned by him.  I’m sure Esther was very fearful to go before the king, but she did not let her fears stop her from fulfilling her purpose.

All too often we let fear control us and take over our minds until we are almost living in a prison that we created for ourselves.  It’s time to take back control and tell our fears goodbye.  With God, we can conquer our fears.  I often let my fears stop me fro m accomplishing what I feel my purpose is.  I have to work hard every day to let go of my fears so I can fulfill God’s purpose for my life.

There is so much hate and persecution going on in the world around us.  What if God has called us into His Kingdom for such a time as this?  We have been called to share His Word and spread His love around the Globe.  Are we going to let our fears stop us, or are we going to be brave like Esther and find a way to spread His love?

It can be hard to let go of our fears.  I like many other people struggle with fear and letting go of fear.  I am working to let go of those fears.  As it says in Psalms, I am learning to be still and know that He is God.  I know over time, my true purpose will be revealed.  I hope I can be strong and courageous like . Esther and not let my fears hold me back from accomplishing God’s will for my life.

Today, it is time to break out of our prisons and tell those fears goodbye.  Be brave like Esther, and don’t let fear stop you.  You have been called into His Kingdom for “Such A Time As This.”

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Beauty in the Falling

Remember ye not the former things, neither consider the things of old.  Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it?  I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.  (Isaiah 43:18-19)

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.  (II Corinthians 5:17)

“We all make mistakes, have struggles and even regret things in our past.  But you are not your struggles, and you are here now with the power to shape your day and your future.” - Dr. Steve Maraboli

Have you ever felt like you are stuck in the past?  Have you ever felt like you have no way of moving forward?  We all have a past, and at certain times in our lives we feel that is where we are stuck.  We all make mistakes and feel like we can’t move past those mistakes.  This when we reach a crossroads.  We can either stay living in the past, or we can find a way to move forward into the incredible future God has planned for us.  

The road of living in the past can only become darker and more difficult to travel.  I read a quote the other day that went as follows: In every change, in every falling leaf, there is some pain, some beauty.  And that’s the way new leaves grow.”  I thought about this quote and what it means to me.  There is sometimes going to be pain in the process called life.  We are going to go through trials and hard times.  Out of those trials, beauty can rise.  In the Autumn, the leaves change colors before falling off the trees.  In the Spring, new leaves begin to grow.  It just shows that even in the dead winter, even in the midst of whatever storm we are going through, God can turn all things into something beautiful.  There is pain in the falling, but beauty can grow again.  Never give up hope, and cling to God through everything.  After all, we were never promised an easy life free from pain.  You can grow into something beautiful again.

You see, as long we are living in the past we cannot grow into who we are meant to become.  We have to let go of the old to make room for the new.  The healing process can be hard and painful.  Simply taking that first step in the healing journey can be hard.  We have to keep placing one foot in front of the other.  We can make it slowly day by day.  Lean on your faith and trust in God.  Let him do a new work in your life.

It was difficult for me to take that first step towards healing.  The process was hard and painful with a lot of tears being shed, and prayers going up.  There were many days where I wanted to throw in the towel and say “I quit.”  I’m so glad I didn’t.  I hope one day my story can be used to help someone else.  Maybe one day, your story can also save someone else.  

Remember, there is pain in the falling, but God can turn it into something beautiful.

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Faith Over Fear

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7)

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. For by it the elders obtained a good report.  Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear. (Hebrews 11:1-3)

Faith is having a strong belief in God based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof. Fear means to be afraid of someone or something as likely to be dangerous, painful, or threatening.

We are living in a world that is constantly living in fear.  Everything around us is changing rapidly.  We fear change even if the change is better for our happiness and well-being.  We fear the change even if God is whispering to us to make those changes.  We get too comfortable with the familiar.  We hate it when we are asked to move into uncharted waters.  When we are asked to do this, we become uncomfortable, scared, and fearful of the change.  What would happen if we just trusted God and stepped out of the boat in faith?

What is it about change that we fear?  I, like many others both hate change and am uncomfortable with change.  I get too comfortable with the comfortable.  When it is time for change, whether it is in my personal life or in my career, I become fearful and fight the change for as long as I can.  I begin to doubt myself and my abilities.  I begin to question things like “Will I be able to make it living by myself,  What will others think of me and this blog, Will I be able to succeed in my career?”  I let my fears and doubts take control of my life.  I wonder what would happen if I would just have faith that everything will turn out as God has planned.

I read an article the other day titled “Fears Evil Scheme.”  There was a paragraph that caught my attention... “Fear is a tool the devil uses against us to make us miserable and destroy our lives.  It begins as a thought and then creates emotions that can rule us.  It often becomes a strong, intense feeling that tries to move us to make a foolish action or tries to prevent us from doing something that would be good for us.  Because it is such a common way that Satan attacks people’s lives, I think of it as the master spirit he uses to manipulate people and keep them out of God’s will.  Simply put, fear is the opposite of faith.  God wants us to walk by faith, and Satan wants us to walk by fear.  Fear begins with a thought.  Where the mind goes, the man follows.”

We were not created to live in fear.  Living a life of fear is not living a life that is in the will of God.  “When we learn to live by faith and not let fear rule our life, we can live a fulfilling, satisfying, peaceful, and joyful life in Christ.”

Today, I am choosing to step out in faith and let God take control of my fears.  I am choosing to Give God control over my life and have faith in Him.  I am tired of letting fear rule my thoughts.  I am choosing to accept the changes no matter how uncomfortable they may first make me.  

Always remember,  faith is the evidence of things not yet seen.  I am choosing to walk by faith and not by sight.  Stop living in fear.  Put all your trust and faith in Jesus.  Today, choose FAITH OVER FEAR! 

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In the Silence...

The Lord shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace. (Exodus 14:14)

Be still and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth. (Psalms 46:10)

My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from Him. (Psalms 62:5)

Has anyone ever noticed how peaceful and calm things feel just before a big storm blows in?  It seems as if the birds and all other creatures can even sense that something in the air is changing.  Do we even take the time any more to notice the calm just before the storm?

All too often, we get so caught up in our daily lives that we hardly ever take the time to listen in the silence.  We get so busy with our daily routines of work or school or other events that we begin to neglect ourselves and our own care.  Scripture tells us time and time again to be silent and wait on the Lord.

If many of you are like me, then you also hate silence.  I feel very uncomfortable when it is silent.  When I moved out on my own earlier this year, it took me a little while to get used to the silence.  I was used to being around several other people.  When I moved, I felt like I had to fill that void with noise.  I will admit that I spent a lot of time my first weeks living on my own taking to myself because I could not find a way to get comfortable with the silence.  It wasn’t until I felt comfortable with the silence that I was truly able to enjoy living on my own.

Sometimes, in the silence, God is trying to talk to us.  Can we be silent long enough to listen to HIs voice and wait on Him for guidance?  On Saturday, as I was reading my devotional on silence, it stated something about why we could be uncomfortable in the silence.  “Could it be there are times we are afraid of the quiet?  What if we are confronted with things we’d rather not think about?  What if we hear the still small voice of the Lord speaking about some changes we’re not sure we want to make?  Some may think the loudness of the day is easier and presents less to worry about, but in reality, it hinders the opportunity for there to be clarity.”  I found this to be a profound statement because when we are caught up in our daily lives, there is so much confusion.  We need the time in our day to seek clarity about what’s next.

For me, I am afraid I am going to be confronted with things I don’t want to think about.  I am also afraid I am going to be asked to make changes that I am not sure I’m ready to make.  When I was going through my storm, I wouldn’t stop long enough to listen during the breaks in wind when all was calm and silent and peaceful.  When I finally did stop long enough to listen, I wasn’t ready to make changes that I felt He was telling me to make.  It took me a few days to give in and listen to that still, small voice and say “I’m ready.”  I am so glad I listened to that still, small voice.  I chose to surrender and let Him start fighting the battle for me.

Always remember to take the time to listen in the silence.  Don’t hinder the opportunity for clarity to take place.  Find a way to take a break from the craziness of your day to listen to His voice.  Sometimes the biggest victories take place in the silent places of our hearts.  Just be still and know that He is God.

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Like a Puzzle...

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thought of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.  Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you.  And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.  (Jeremiah 29:11-13)

As many of you know, I have an obsession with puzzles.  There is something about the challenge of puzzles that I love, but then again, I love challenges and being challenged.  I get easily frustrated when I am working on a puzzle and can’t find where a piece goes, and then I become really excited when I discover the location of that puzzle piece.  There is something exciting about seeing the end result of a puzzle.  Once the puzzle is completed, I have a beautiful picture to enjoy and marvel at.

In so many ways, we as people are like puzzles.  We are broken pieces needing to be put together piece by piece.  We sometimes get impatient in building process.  We want to see the end results and beautiful picture of our lives right now.  We want to know God’s plan for our lives right now instead of waiting on Him to reveal that plan to us.  Only God can see the bigger picture and only He knows what the picture of our lives will look like in the end.  

I daily ask God, “What is Your plan for my life?”  Most days, I get so impatient in the building process.  I struggle with wanting to know right now what the rest of my picture looks like.  Does He have a future spouse out there for me somewhere?  Does He have future children for me to raise and love according to His will?  

This quote I read from an article stated “We live each day only seeing what’s in front of us, not knowing fully what’s coming next.  While God on the other hand,  sees our story in its entirety.  He sees our life as a complete whole.”

Even when we can’t see the big picture of our lives, just have faith that God knows all.  The pieces of our puzzle will slowly come together in His perfect timing.  It is a process.  We might struggle and fall time and time again.  We might try to place a piece of our puzzle where it does not belong all because we got impatient and decided to try to do things our way.

Putting a puzzle together is a process.  It takes time, effort, and a whole lot of patience.  I, like many of you, struggle with patience and wanting to know what God’s plan for my life is going to look like.  I am slowly learning to be patient.  I am slowly learning to trust in God with my future.  I am excited to see what the bigger picture looks like when all my puzzle pieces start to fit together perfectly.    I know He has good plans for my life and for your life.

Remember, when you are struggling to put the pieces of your life together, trust that God knows just how they fit.  It will all come together in His perfect timing.  God has good plans and an amazing future planned out just for you and me.  While we are waiting, we just need to continue to trust in God and continue to seek Him out with our whole hearts.  

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The Invisible Battle

For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds.  (II Corinthians 10:3-4)

I came across this quote the other day that I feel could ring true for so many of us. “The battles that count aren’t the ones for gold medals.  The struggles within yourself-the invisible battles inside all of us-that’s where it’s at.” Jesse Owens.

All too often we fight battles in our minds that even the people closest to us will never know about.  Maybe we don’t talk about them because we are ashamed or embarrassed to talk about them, or maybe because we are afraid to be vulnerable with others.

I know how true this is especially for myself.  So many of us like to hold things in and not talk about them until we feel we are about to reach rock bottom.

For me, my fear is that others might think differently of me if they get to know my deepest, darkest secrets.  It has also always been hard for me to open up to others.  When I am battling a war between myself and my mind, I feel this is something I have to keep hidden from others.  When I talk about my problems and my secrets part of me feels open and a little too exposed. I believe it is always important to find someone you trust to talk to.  

In an article I read about the battles in our minds, it stated “All too often we tell ourselves that things aren’t as bad as they really are.  We tell ourselves that things are better than they really are.  We tell ourselves that we’re doing okay when we’re not doing okay.  We’re telling ourselves it’s no big deal when it’s a big deal.”  Jeremiah 17:9 tells us that our hearts are deceitful.  For this reason alone, we should always question our thoughts.

When I was going through some things and having “deceitful thoughts” about myself and who I was, I had a hard time believing others when they tried to tell me it was a lie.  In fact, it wasn’t until I was standing in front of the mirror feeling exposed in a way I had never felt before, sobbing and pouring my heart out to God that I began to see what others had been trying to tell me.  It was then I realized I could no longer keep my secrets hidden.  I needed to open up to someone, and I am so glad I did.  

We can only keep our secrets hidden from others for so long before they become exposed.  However, we can never keep our secrets hidden from God.  We need to talk about our invisible battles with someone even if it is a close friend or a family member.  Never give up the fight no matter how drained, exhausted, or frustrated you may get.  Trust me, there have been so many days I have been ready to throw in the towel and say I give up.  I know I will never give up even on those days when I am ready to say “I quit.” I even found someone to talk to who has not and will never let me give up.

Always remember, God knows our thoughts and will always be there to catch us when we fall.  You don’t have to keep your secrets hidden!

[cmorton7-blog]

Behind the Mask...

A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones. (Proverbs 17:22)

Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28)

We all experience emotions.  We all have days where we feel happy, sad, angry, frustrated, disappointed, and many more.  As Christians, we often feel like we have to put on a smile and pretend like everything is okay even when it is not.  We often hide our true feelings, because we feel like we have to have it together all the time. 

All too often, we hide our true emotions behind a mask.  We often use the phrase “Fake it until we make it.”  We hope no one can see what we are truly feeling behind our mask.  

I am just as guilty of this as many of you.  As a Christian and a mental health therapist, I often feel like I have to be perfect all the time, and I should have it all together always.  There was a time period not too long ago where I would put on a smile and pretend like everything was okay.  I hoped people would not be able to see my true feelings I was hiding behind my mask.  I eventually got to a place where it became impossible to hide my feelings.

As I was reading an article the other day on the importance of emotions and our expressions of them, I read a statement that stood out to me... “We are broken people living in a fallen world.  As a result our emotional reactions will not be perfect, at least not this side of Christ’s return.”  

It is okay for us to experience and express our emotions.  Research has proven time and time again that it is not healthy to suppress emotions.  Eventually, our emotions will become so powerful that we explode.  This is when it is important to seek out help and express our emotions.

I am guilty of suppressing my feelings.  I hid behind a mask because I was afraid of what others would think if they even got a glimpse of the real me.  After awhile, it became impossible to hide behind my feelings.  I had a hard time taking off the mask and letting others get to know the real me.  Once I took off the mask and let others in, I felt free.  I felt at peace again, and I gained a confidence and strength I never knew I had.

Always know that it is okay to experience other emotions besides happiness.  It is how we handle the emotions that matter.  When your emotions become to powerful that you don’t know what to do, reach out for help.  It is okay to say “I need help.”  Reach out to a trusted friend or spiritual advisor.  Reach out to someone who will pray with you and cry with you.

Remember, you never have to bear your burdens alone.  God is always there.  Find peace and your rest in Him.  Stop hiding behind the mask!

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During the Test...

Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him. (James 1:12)

Has there ever been a time in your life when you were going through a dark storm or difficult trial and felt like you could not hear God’s voice or feel His presence at work in your life?  We have all been there at one point or another.  We question our existence and the purpose of life.

I, like many of you, have been in that place.  I felt like I could not hear God’s voice or feel His presence.  I got to a place where I dreaded getting out of bed and coming into His house on Sundays.  I remember thinking “What is the point of going?  I don’t feel anything anymore anyway.”  During that time, I kept going anyway hoping and praying that I just might hear His voice again and feel His presence in my life.

Throughout the course of our lives, we have all heard the phrase “The teacher is always silent during the test.”  During that silence, we feel lost, abandoned, and forgotten.  We might even feel like we are all alone.  Perhaps, we may even feel like no one cares about us.  During the silence, God is testing our faith.  He wants to see how we respond.  During the test, are you going to stand strong in your faith, or are you going to let the test bring you down?

I was reading an article the other day and came across a statement that stood out to me...  “Everybody reacts to silence differently.  Some will diminish in their faith.  Some will grow.  It is the testing process that determines your true character.”  I want to be able to say that I stood strong in my faith, and I passed the test.

Even in your darkest hour, stand strong in your faith, and you too will be able to say “I passed the test and came out stronger than before.”  Even when you can’t feel God’s presence just know He is still walking beside you, and you will come out victorious.

I remember the exact moment I could feel Him again.  Even though I know I was never alone during that time, I felt relief at being able to hear His voice and feel His presence at work in my life.  There was something about surrendering my troubles and saying “I need help” that felt freeing.  I knew in that moment that no matter how difficult the rest of the battle was, I was no longer fighting it alone.

Always trust in God and stand strong in your faith, and you too will come out the victor.  God will never leave you or forsake you.  

[cmorton7-blog]

You Belong

“She is more precious than rubies: and all the things thou canst desire are not to be compared unto her.” (Proverbs 3:15)

“Behold what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called then sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not.” (1 John 3:1)

Have you ever felt worthless and like you do not fit in and belong anywhere?  Do you ever feel the pressure to look a certain way and act a certain way?  Today’s society puts so much pressure on us.  We often compare ourselves to the girls on the covers of magazines and try to make ourselves look like them.  

Too often, we cave into the pressures that society places on us just so we can fit in or feel a sense of belonging.  We often criticize ourselves because of our flaws.  We often stand in front of the mirror and tell ourselves “I’m not good enough, I’m not smart enough, or I’m not pretty enough.”  We often tell ourselves that we will never belong and that no one cares about us.  What would happen if we stopped criticizing ourselves? 

God tells us we are more precious than rubies.  He made us in His image.  Next time you stand in front of the mirror, try to see yourself the way God sees you instead of the way you see you.  Instead of making negative comments to yourself, tell yourself, “I am beautiful, I am smart, I am good enough.”  We are beautiful the way we are.  We don’t need to look like the girls on the magazine covers.

Also, oftentimes, we feel like no one cares, and we do not belong or fit in.  God loves us so much that he calls us His sons and daughters.  We belong to God.  Next time you feel like no one cares, remember God cares and loves us.  Remember there is a place for you somewhere.  Find someone you trust to talk to.  There is always someone that cares about you that would be willing to talk to you and pray with you.

Never forget, you are loved, you are beautiful, and you do belong to the King of Kings.  We are His sons and daughters.  Stop comparing yourself to everyone else and Find your worth in God.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hx6SbMBccAQ

[cmorton7-blog]

No Room For Negativity

“It is the Lord who goes before you.  He will be with you; He will not leave you or forsake you.  Do not fear or be dismayed. (Deuteronomy 31:8)

If you follow me on Facebook or Instagram then you will know the other day I posted the following statement:

Today as I began to prepare for my next licensure exam, I came across a statement in the book that really stood out to me.  “Do not approach the test with negative attitudes and resentment about having to take it.  It will hurt your performance.  If you go into the test with with a positives attitude then the better the performance will be.”  This statement got me thinking!  Oftentimes when we go through tests in life, we approach them with negative attitudes and feel things are never going to get better.  We begin to resent and blame God for the difficult things we are going through.  I wonder what would happen if instead we begin to approach the tests of life with positive attitudes and trust that God will help us through the process!  I feel if we began to approach the trials with more positive attitudes and trust that God will help us through, then the easier the trial will be for us to face!  You are never alone.

I have been thinking about this every day since then.  Jesus never promised us an easy life, but He did promise that He would be with us through the good times and the bad times.  I know trust can be hard especially when we are going through storms.  Those are the times when we have to trust in God and in  HIs plan for our lives.  

During those storms and trials, you do not have to feel like you are alone.  Reach out to others for help.  Reach out to people who can cry with you, pray with you, rejoice with you, and be happy for your victories when you can’t be or are not ready to be happy yet.  Saying “I need help” is perhaps one of the hardest things to do.  I know it is definitely hard for me as I am used to doing and figuring things out on my own.  God puts people in our lives who can help us through the hard times and be that listening ear and that shoulder to cry on.  Even through the hardest days, you never have to feel like you are alone.