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halloween 2021 marathon ↳ day 10 🎃 THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT (1999) | dir. daniel myrick and eduardo sánchez

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부산행 // TRAIN TO BUSAN — 2016, dir. Yeon Sang-ho

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Werewolves Within is a surprisingly fun horror comedy – what I like to call a “popcorn movie.” It plays well on a big screen with lots of popcorn and friends, but in this case, the flick does well for an evening at home, too. With good chemistry among the actors, decent cinematography and soundtrack, and quick-witted dialogue, Werewolves Within does a good job of keeping the audience occupied even though it never truly breaks new ground. Read on for the full horror story.

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That quote basically is just the last two years.

Nobody trusts anybody now, and we’re all very tired.

The Thing (1982) dir. John Carpenter

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Now the dream of this life must end, and so too must the dreamers within it. For over thirty years they have denied their own fates. For thirty years, they’ve lied to their own souls. But now is the end of days, and I am the Reaper.

SILENT HILL (2006) dir. Christophe Gans

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The marriages were for money, of course. But the horror… the horror was for love. The things we do for love like this are ugly, mad, full of sweat and regret. This love burns you and maims you and twists you inside out. It is a monstrous love and it makes monsters of us all.

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Villains (2019)

“Two bad people are about to meet two worse people.”

Synopsis: After a pair of amateur criminals break into a suburban home, they stumble upon a dark secret that two sadistic homeowners will do anything to keep from getting out.

Calamity Brains:

Villains is a twist on the standard home invasion story, one that will feel familiar to those who have seen Don’t Breathe. While the twists here involve more psychological than physical danger, I still found myself regularly comparing the two. Villains on the surface seems more lighthearted, and it does offer more laughs and sweet moments than Don’t Breathe – not to mention more likable protagonists – but make no mistake, it earns its WTF rating just as well.

Jules (Maika Monroe) and Mickey (Bill Skarsgård), on the run from a burglary, take shelter in a nearby home only to find matters inside aren’t what they seem. As they spar with owners George (Jeffrey Donovan of Burn Notice fame) and Gloria (Kyra Sedgwick), twist after twist keeps the audience guessing. It’s pretty obvious who the titular villains are early on – the movie is often heavy-handed – but there are some creative turns to the storyline. Jules and Mickey are charming antiheros, from their masked robbery to their preferred problem-solving methods. They have good hearts, and it’s hard not to root for them. (It’s also fun seeing Bill Skarsgård play the straight man after his turn as Pennywise.)

Villains was fun to see in theaters, but ultimately, it’s sort of forgettable. The first watch was entertaining, but I don’t see myself rewatching it and I’m honestly not sure how well it would hold up to repeat viewings with the twists already spoiled. This would be a fun choice for a movie night with friends where you can yell at the screen, but just the once.

Calamity Brains’ Rating: B

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Yongary, Monster of the Deep (1967)

“A Monster from another age… with terrifying destructive powers…”

Synopsis: Earthquakes in central Korea turn out to be the work of Yongary, a prehistoric gasoline-eating reptile that soon goes on a rampage through Seoul.

Calamity Brains:

Yongary is a fairly adorable Godzilla knockoff. It features plenty of the tropes we know and love – a young child improbably to the rescue, fake science – with the common kaiju benefit of getting to see a dude in a rubber monster suit lay waste to train models. Even with some weird nods to geopolitics and morality (not to mention the fairly half-baked characters), Yongary stays engaging most of the way through. This is mainly due to the sheer silliness of its practical effects.

You can basically sum up this off-brand South Korean kaiju in two gifs:

But at the end of the day, I’d watch Yongary again, even without a drinking game. The MST3K version of the movie is entertaining as well, but not required. For folks with patience for the limitations of older movies and a love of “you tried!” level practical effects, Yongary will make for a fun evening.

Calamity Brains’ Rating: C+

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Hocus Pocus (1993) dir. Kenny Ortega

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Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948)

“Jeepers! The creepers are after Bud and Lou!”

Synopsis: Two hapless freight handlers find themselves encountering Dracula, the Frankenstein Monster and the Wolf Man.

Calamity Brains:

Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein is the first of seven extremely silly movies featuring a blend of lovable comedy duo and classic monsters. Though the movie occasionally suffers in the pacing department, Abbott and Costello provide some excellent laughs – and the movie is made even better by their playing opposite some of the actors who made the classic monsters famous on the silver screen. This is more light-hearted family fun than anything else, but horror fans may get a kick out of seeing Dracula, Frankenstein, and the Wolf Man all together scaring the willies out of Abbott and Costello.

Bela Lugosi, Glenn Strange, and Lon Chaney Jr. (Dracula, Frankenstein, and Wolf Man, respectively) all reprise their roles from earlier Universal horror flicks, raising the hilarious question of whether this comedy flick counts as canon in the continuity of Universal’s monster movies. Adding an extra layer of odd, despite the title of the movie, Abbott and Costello play freight handler characters rather than being themselves. (This was actually problematic for me; I felt that freight handler Wilbur/Costello character focused too much on being stupid and scared rather than confused, which is a distinction I always enjoyed in the comedy duo’s original radio shows.) This colorful cast is rounded out with some familiar extras, including Jane Randolph as one of Wilbur’s two(!) ladies.

Even without the solid performances, the sheer silliness of this movie makes it fun. Dracula blackmails a mad scientist to restore Frankenstein’s monster under his control… while pursued by the Wolf Man… as they work to collect Lou Costello’s brain for science. We have monster effects from the ‘40s and some very hit or miss sets rounding out the ridiculousness of the movie. Younger audiences in particular will enjoy the visual gags and slapstick, but in a movie this full of laughs, it’d be hard not to find one that would make even grizzled horror fans crack a smile. (My personal favorite was the repeated visual gag of Dracula doing the White Zombie stare.)

Even if you didn’t grow up with Abbott and Costello and lack the nostalgia of older (or confused younger) audiences, this is a fun flick to share with non-horror family members. Serve up the popcorn and get ready to giggle for this one.

Calamity Brains’ Rating: B

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Young Frankenstein (1974) dir. Mel Brooks

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Richie Tozier and Stanley Uris | It (2017) dir. Andy Muschietti

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The Final Girls (2015) dir. Todd Strauss-Schulson

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True magic is neither black, nor white - it’s both because nature is both. Loving and cruel, all at the same time. - The Craft (1996) dir. Andrew Fleming

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Vampyros Lesbos (1971) dir. Jesús Franco

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The Meg (2018) dir.  Jon Turteltaub

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Joe Mazzello as Tim Murphy in Jurassic Park (1993)