coffeexxcigarettes
⛈️Vibe☁️
It's a mess, but dig around and take what you'd like. Sometimes I write. AKA- the Patron Saint of Ash and Renewal.
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TEEN IDLE
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never let them know that the next
person
to reach their hands into your chest may look at you in awe,
at how surprisingly breakable you
are,
how you have survived this long.
Mary Lambert, from "Tips for Fat Girls"
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[ID text — I met evil when I was only a child.]
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I am an idiot for not loving you this much yesterday and I am your idiot for not loving you as much today as I will tomorrow
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There are moments within the withdrawal
When you drag your tired body
To the altar of reckoning,
Only to see something in the dark reflection
Worth saving.
A brief moment of laughter,
Seeping through porcelain cracks
Like warm, golden honey.
A reminder of who you once were,
Somebody gentle and maybe even
Worth calling out to-
Sitting in the ruin of recovery,
Though the moment is fleeting-
Its warmth overwhelmed me..
The way they laughed and shouted,
Insisting on dragging me along.
"You've been so...loving lately."
And I had been.
And I wanted to be.
And to be numb is easier,
But it's nice to feel like me again-
If only for a moment.
x
#poets on tumblr#writing#spilled ink#poem#spilled thoughts#original poem#sad thoughts#mental health#recovery#tw drugs#tw drug reference#tw recovery#personal vent#vent post#vent poetry#vent poem#I'm sorry I'm a mess lately#drugs you know#they're hard#it's been hard#going without meds#wish i never had to take them#i miss you#I'm trying#thank you for being patient#thank you for dealing with me
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I'm sure there is an innocence
Somewhere lost within the grey.
In the fact that try as I might,
Every time I manage to turn my head-
I am yanked back to gaze upon you.
An innocence somewhere
In the fact that even in pain,
Confusion and fire-
In ecstasy, I cry out for you.
A great shame..
Perhaps a learned behavior.
Or maybe I love you.
Maybe I miss the safety of your embrace
That I had burned at the stake-
I will not be made a fool again.
Nobody has to know how my body shakes
For you.
I shall unravel into pieces
And I fear all that will be left at my core,
Is the way I admired your smile.
I'm sure somebody might see
Some kind of innocence
In that.
x
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Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun ✧ My Little Monster, ch. 29
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