compulsivewriter

[compulsivewriter]

July 2025 bus drawing dump!

[compulsivewriter]

Is it just me, or with the advent of technology, people are absolutely disregarding having a "backup" now?

Like, people are throwing away books, their CDs, their cassettes and their photo albums just because we have computers and Internet and social media now?

In a world where information can be erased in the blink of an eye, I still believe in physical records. Imagine a time when everything we need to know is just contained in a single database that can be wiped out or edited to satisfy the whims of the powerful.

Don't throw away those books, those CDs, those periodicals, those photo albums, those cassettes, those vinyls. To preserve them in an age where information and disinformation is now instant is already an act of rebellion.

[compulsivewriter]

Standard fare of Barry Manilow albums, for the beginner:

- A megahit (that he didn't write)

- A much more minor hit (that he actually wrote)

- A cover of a song from the 1950's or 1960's

- Mood whiplash (imagine going from a cheesy romantic song to a piano ballad about a lonely housewife)

- Once in a while, complete lyrical dissonance ("She sits there so refined and drinks herself half-blind". Not to mention a rock-and-roll banger about an underage prostitute.)

- A song about life on the streets of New York

- At least one song that will make you involuntarily tap your feet and dance to the rhythm

[compulsivewriter]

Not only that, given how vicious people on social media can be nowadays, imagine: what if Evan was indeed outed as a fraud?

Can he handle the barrage of hate he would face? Can he even go outside his house, knowing he's now branded? If he was exposed, I'd daresay that would've been an even bigger motive for him to end his life.

What about the Murphys? Would people be sympathetic to them for being duped? Or will they also get a beating for failing to become a perfect family? It might've pushed Cynthia and Larry to break up. And, given that in the movie, Zoe also had suicidal tendencies (I shudder when I see that scene in "Requiem" where she just goes berserk on the wheel), that meant another Murphy sibling driven to suicide.

My reaction on that hypothetical ending? Congrats, keyboard warriors, you just pushed a guy to end his life. Congrats, keyboard warriors, you just wrecked a family. And all to justify your own effing hypocrisy and self-righteousness.

Evan does face consequences by the end of DEH and i think it's stupid to act like he doesn't. His only friend who's not even really that much of a friend in the first place + his new friend who still wasn't really a friend + his girlfriend left him. Did we watch the same musical? Were your eyes open during 'Good For You'? I get some people might've wanted to have seen Evan publicly outed for being a liar, but I just don't think that would make sense for the point the show wants to drive. Connor is the person who has to die in order for the show to work because he isn't the kind of person most people would really want to mourn. He's a hostile social outcast and clearly made fun of considering how sharply he reacts to even the idea of being called a freak. while its origins are built off lies, The Connor Project stands as a net good because of how it prioritizes mental health no matter the person.

The entire show maintains this theme even in leaving Evan how they do. He's outcast by all his friends and left with only his mother by his side, yet he still chooses to meet with Zoe in the show's final scene, showing how he is aware of his wrongs, but will not run away from them and instead attempt at change. It wouldn't make sense for Evan to be publicly outed from the perspective of both Alana and the Murphy family. Even if it's initially just for another extracurricular credit, Alana's participation in The Connor Project does seem like genuine passion for it by the end of the show. If people were told Evan was a liar after being pushed to help the cause from his story, The Connor Project would fall to pieces. That end result is the same reason it wouldn't make sense for the Murphys to want Evan exposed, though their motive for maintaining the project would be the fact it helps people like the son and brother they cared for rather than being a passion project.

To me, this shows that the disassembly of The Connor Project would not only hurt Evan, but every named character (aside from Jared, who really doesn't have all too much stake in the game) and render the musical entirely pointless. However, Evan being socially outcasted does not have this same impact on the rest of the characters. In the best possible consequence for his own actions, it hurts only him.

[compulsivewriter]

Nine p.m. thoughts

Okay, since we've been discussing and debating the differences between the original Broadway and West End productions of Next to Normal, here's a thing: has anyone considered the differences between how Jennifer Damiano and Eleanor Worthington Cox played Natalie Goodman?

Consider this.

Jenn's Natalie, to me, comes across as bitingly sarcastic, snarkish, indifferent (at first glance) to the sufferings of others. Think of her Natalie as kind of a female version of Jared Kleinman: a deeply insecure child (no wonder, given her family history) who hides under sarcasm and snarkiness to mask her insecurities from the real world. I guess that's what made Henry fall for her in the first place: here's a girl, like me, who can't be bothered by the evils of the real world. Still, that snarkiness begins to crumble as she finally releases her defenses under Henry's affections. (We could still see traces of her former attitude in her conversation with Henry during "Light," but by that time she has finally found her solid ground, understands that the "normal" life she had so desperately hoped for is impossible for the time being, and is now more comfortable baring her emotions to the people around her).

By contrast, Eleanor's Natalie knows early on that keeping her emotions under check won't solve anything. Her Natalie, to me, comes across as more vulnerable, as prone to nervous breakdowns as Diana was, almost ready to cry her heart out to any random guy who passes by. (Think of that cut during "I Am The One" where Natalie is seen hugging herself and closing her ears out as Dan and Diana battle each other out, while Henry tries desperately to comfort her.) In the West End version, Henry falls for her precisely because she's not "one of those" who resorts to becoming an ice queen to keep their emotions in check.

Jenn's Natalie mirrors Dan's determined attempts to hide under the facade of the "perfect loving family" by pretending to be as "normal" as possible, while Eleanor's Natalie mirrors Diana's own vulnerability to her emotions. And take note that while in the Broadway production (and in other productions I've seen), Natalie and Diana barely touch each other during "Maybe (Next to Normal)," in the West End they actually cling to each other while singing.

[compulsivewriter]

Eleven p.m. thoughts

Can we just appreciate how broken Jamie Parker sounds like during "I Am The One (Reprise)"?

The way his voice cracks up on the lines "I am the one - and you walked away" perfectly encapsulates how his stoic façade is now nearing the breaking point.

Consider: during "I Am The One," Dan promised Diana, "I am the one who won't walk away." Even by this time, Dan's also nearing the brink of exhaustion at how low their life together has gone, he still wants to know Diana that he'll be there no matter what (although it's revealed later that the only reason he's stuck with Diana is that he'd never known how to be alone).

Fast forward to after "So Anyway" - Diana's leaving had pulled the rug under Dan. He can't believe what had just happened: that after all his efforts to save their marriage, their family, it turns out the only way for them to heal is to break the illusion of the perfect loving family. The one reason he's still trying to hold on that illusion is now gone, and he alone must face the shadow of the dead son that he had so pointedly ignored all those years.

[compulsivewriter]

June 2025 bus art dump!

[compulsivewriter]

A wild idea my brain cooked up at 12:54 a.m.:

Jack Wolfe singing "For Forever" from Dear Evan Hansen.

[compulsivewriter]

That this (could be) the only Zoe Murphy/Natalie Goodman crossover fanfic I could find sounds almost criminal.

[compulsivewriter]

As someone who fell in love with Next to Normal when the original Broadway track was the only one available, the fact that (for me) Jack Wolfe's "Hi, Dad" sounded almost exactly like Aaron Tveit's in the 2024 West End recording is so gut-wrenching.

[compulsivewriter]

Whoever thought of "Jazzpiano" for Natalie and Henry from Next to Normal is a genius.

[compulsivewriter]

And yet another addition:

Has a role in a piece of media featuring a sports throuple.

Time to bring this back, I see.

[compulsivewriter]

May 2025 bus art dump!

[compulsivewriter]

Late realization: Dan, who has always been portrayed as "steadfast and stolid and stoic and solid," sounded as if HE'S the one who's about to have a panic attack in "It's Gonna Be Good (Reprise)."

Like, Please, no, no, not this, not this, my wife's going to crack again! Please, God, nonononononono, I can't take it anymore…

Also, Jamie Parker's stuttering "Diana, um..." before the song itself perfectly portrayed how Dan was absolutely running out of ideas on how to "cure" his wife, not realizing that all he has to tell her is their son's name for their situation to become "good."

[compulsivewriter]

Oops, almost forgot the date.

Happy end of May or early June

[compulsivewriter]

For some of you who may have noticed that the West End cast recording of Next to Normal was from a live performance instead of a studio recording, a reminder: that's how they (mostly) do musical recordings in the United Kingdom and other countries.

I suggest you compare the original Broadway recordings and West End cast recordings of Legally Blonde or 9 to 5. I was surprised at how much material was added in the West End recordings, not to mention that in some cases, the audience's reactions such as laughter and applause were also included in the recording. And may I also steer you to the German-language cast recordings of Next to Normal and Spring Awakening, which were also recorded live. (They're on Spotify, too, and they deserve a listen!)

That's what I appreciate more about West End and other foreign theatre: they take the time to give those who can't experience live theatre the chance to understand the musical more.

[compulsivewriter]

So happy they added this bit in the West End recording of "How Could I Ever Forget":