cornspiracy

[cornspiracy]

Waiter oh waiter more salt in my wound please!!!

[cornspiracy]

beautiful women named extreme heat warning keep blowing up my phone

[cornspiracy]

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes only to turn around and to your horror: the pot.

[cornspiracy]

Superman desperately scanning the street during a fight to find the most morally acceptable car to throw at his opponent, knowing that not everybody has insurance, and loss of transportation can ruin a life -

A wave of incredible relief washes over him as he spots the hard geometric lines and silver paintless sheen of a Cybertruck.

[cornspiracy]

New York Times, The One Who Got Away

[cornspiracy]

heart - shaped scallion found In pho . reblog for good luck & yummy soup 500000 forwver

[cornspiracy]

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

[cornspiracy]

[cornspiracy]

i think it is important to recognize the ways in which your favorite thing sucks. i think it keeps u normal

[cornspiracy]

“I don’t do math because I’m gay” “the gays can’t do math” “If I explain math on tumblr I’ll lose my gay card” all of you apologize to Alan Turing right now 

[cornspiracy]

it's rotten work. especially to me especially if it's you. I'll fucking do it but christ alive.

[cornspiracy]

the author's barely disguised longing for a kinder world

[cornspiracy]

it’s the “date of birth: 1303 BC” for me...

[cornspiracy]

[cornspiracy]

whatever else you have to say about katy perry i do have to say "do you ever feel like a plastic bag" is maybe one of the all time funniest ways to start a song

[cornspiracy]

it's kinda sad that slop is such a popular pejorative now. after all it has done to nourish the noble hog

[cornspiracy]

Joining the war on queerbait on the side of queerbait bc after a time you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing after all as wanting. It is not logical but is often true