corrpuscallosum

[corrpuscallosum]

Goosebumps

[corrpuscallosum]

Serious Rambles/Updates pt2

Letters to no one in particular.

I do not have the courage to say this to someone I know, so I'm just putting it out here just in case someone else feels the way I do.

I'm not entirely sure if I love him or just the idea of loving him or the fact that this loneliness had crept inside of me and is making me do shit. on the other hand, I have no doubts about my love for her. I think it's sad that people do not consider this love as love, maybe I just want a calm peaceful life in a home right next to my bestfriend and drink coffee together in our joint garden. unfortunately I live in a capitalist and Patriarchal society and I have to hustle and grind to find my way here. A few days back, we were reading a poem about death and our teacher asked if we think death is scary. A part of me said yes, absolutely, we're terrified of death, we're so scared of our story ending and of the uncertainty. But another part said no, because this story isn't about me. This story is about the countless others who came before me and will come after me. This story belongs to the buildings that stood the ravages of time. This story belongs to every single trait that makes us more human. But then again, this is too deep and I probably couldn't speak up.

Are you scared of things ending? Are you scared of college ending or school ending? I'm in my senior year of college and just 3 months shy of graduating. It makes me sad that i won't be coming back to these classes. I tell people that I dislike my college, but I think I love it to bits. In my little universe, it's the only constant I can pinpoint. I'm even sadder about the fact that my best friend and I would not be together, or maybe we will be (she always tells me to think positively and say that we will be). In any case, I'm sad about a lot of things. But zendagi mirzara.

15.04.2022/2:50

[corrpuscallosum]

desi dark academia is wanting to study everything that's not in the syllabus

[corrpuscallosum]

— fuck soulmates, be my academic rival